1 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,707 So? (whispers): No. 2 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,509 No. You-You were in. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,211 I said, "Have you met Ted" and everything. 4 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,879 How could that not work? I don't know, 5 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,814 we introduced ourselves, I bought her a drink, 6 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,083 told her I loved her... 7 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,750 What? I'm kidding. 8 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,719 Hold on, Roxanne. 9 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,322 You played "Have You Met Ted" without me? 10 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,657 In m bar with my Ted? 11 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,928 Maybe stealing a bro's wingman is okay back in... 12 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,365 I'm sorry, what's the name of this third world banana republic 13 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,933 you claim to be from? 14 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,569 Canada. 15 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,038 I have literally never heard of that place. 16 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,673 When'd you move here, anyway? 17 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,708 Two months ago. 18 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:41,875 How do you like it? Honestly, 19 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,511 it-it's been a little tough. 20 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,514 I moved here for this on-air reporter job at Metro News 1 21 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,349 thinking it was gonna be my big break, 22 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,417 only to find out 23 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,051 that our viewership mostly consists 24 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,286 of DMV waiting rooms 25 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,422 and people plugging in their TV for the first time. 26 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,456 (chuckles) 27 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,058 To top it all off, I have no friends. 28 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,595 Um... wrong. 29 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,963 You have four friends right here. 30 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,099 Right, guys? Uh, yeah. 31 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,934 You're totally in our gang, now. And once you're in, 32 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,302 you're in for life, right? 33 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,037 She's in. Oh. All right. 34 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,772 She's in. Welcome. 35 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,741 Well, if I'm in, I should get the next round. 36 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,243 Whoa, whoa, Ooh, 37 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,744 I like this girl. ho, ho. 38 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,381 I'm serious, I like this girl. 39 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,316 So here's the deal with the deal. 40 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,751 Robin's my new best friend-- 41 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,219 nobody bangs her. 42 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,320 Hey, hey, 43 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,655 hey, she only rejected me 44 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,790 three times, she's still very much in play. 45 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,659 I'm serious. 46 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,263 There's only one way I'd let either of you have sex with her. 47 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,998 (gasps) Not that. It's never that. 48 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,234 I really want this girl 49 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,835 to stay a part of our lives. 50 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:45,306 So the only way you're allowed to hook up with her... 51 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,908 is if you marry her. 52 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,178 Too rich for my blood. 53 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,681 TED: That son of a bitch did it. 54 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,949 He really did. 55 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,085 So you're moving to Chicago tomorrow, huh? 56 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,087 How do you feel? 57 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,989 Uh, I'm looking forward to it. 58 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,457 The job's amazing. 59 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,958 I got a great apartment lined up. 60 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,161 You know, it's... 61 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,962 It's exciting. 62 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,998 Onwards and upwar... 63 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,033 * 64 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,989 * 65 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:39,627 BARNEY: Hey! Bass player. 66 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,330 It's me. The guy from the drug store with the diapers 67 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,964 that hit on you, then we went outside 68 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,367 and had a deep, emotional talk on a bus bench. 69 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,336 Remember when you 70 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,637 told me to stop messing around 71 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,804 and go get the girl? 72 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,507 Well, check it. I got her. 73 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,309 (chuckles) 74 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,945 What about you? You still dating that guy? 75 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,855 Grape Scotch! 76 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,057 Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted. 77 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,525 Right here, right here, Yeah, 78 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,993 I-I see you, Barney. right here, right here. 79 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,495 Good, great. Then it's time to play a little game 80 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,696 I like to call Have... Yeah, 81 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,598 Barney, I... No, no. 82 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,600 You are not getting out of Have You Met Ted. 83 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,901 There's a girl that you have to meet. 84 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,237 She is perfect for you. And has... 85 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,772 she met you? No, she has... not. 86 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,007 Think of all the sex you're gonna ha.. 87 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,208 Barney. 88 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,911 I ha... I have to go. 89 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,746 What, now? 90 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,650 Yeah. 91 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,186 Y... 92 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,489 W-We have to do this outside. 93 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,062 Robin. 94 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,932 It's been a major pleasure. 95 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,201 Major Pleasure. Major Pleasure. 96 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,236 (chuckles) Come here. 97 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,774 (whispers): Congratulations. 98 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,343 (whispers): Thank you. 99 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,619 Oh, God, no, this is too real. 100 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,788 I can't handle this, Marshall's next. 101 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,790 Marshall. 102 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,462 Good luck out there in Chicago. 103 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,797 I'm gonna be kind of jealous of you, getting to have 104 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,300 Gazzola's pizza whenever you want. 105 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,601 You're gonna be in Rome. 106 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,371 Yeah. I guess. 107 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:37,945 I just... 108 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,181 I feel like a hug isn't enough. 109 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,983 E.T. good-bye? 110 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,624 (imitating E.T.): I'll be right... 111 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,461 here. 112 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,629 Okay, it helped, but that was really creepy. 113 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,665 I don't want to see you for awhile. (laughs) 114 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,069 Barney. 115 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,339 Mm. 116 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,876 We licked the Liberty Bell. 117 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,310 We did? 118 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,979 Yeah, you... 119 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,481 You don't remember that? 120 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,883 Uh, I've done a lot of cool stuff, Ted. 121 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,820 Oh, my God. 122 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,689 I just... I just realized: 123 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,290 Who am I gonna high five now? 124 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,526 (laughs) Come on, dude. No, no, 125 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,628 I'm being serious. What if I see... 126 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,297 a pack of lions fighting a tyrannosaurus? 127 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,799 Or, better yet, 128 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,634 what if I see boobs? 129 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,302 Who am I... who am I gonna high five then? 130 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,370 You can high five Marshall. 131 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,838 Yeah, yeah. But Marshall 132 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,873 only likes to high five about Lily boobs. 133 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,809 Oh, always. 134 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,044 Okay, Barney. 135 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,913 I have an idea. 136 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,881 One last high five. 137 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:51,685 A high five to echo throughout eternity. 138 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,253 Yes. 139 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,822 And within that high five will be 140 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,024 all the high fives we've ever high fived. 141 00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,160 And all the high fives we could ever possibly high five. 142 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,095 A high infinity. 143 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,664 A high infinity, exactly. 144 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,765 Let's do this. 145 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,233 All right, everybody back up. 146 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,268 Oh, boy. 147 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,607 I'll see you on the other side, Ray. 148 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,777 Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman. 149 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,047 (Ted and Barney growling) 150 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,815 TED and BARNEY: Aah! 151 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,118 (slap) Ow! Ow! 152 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,354 Oh. Oh. Oh! 153 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,556 Worth it. 154 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,591 So worth it. (short laugh) 155 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,861 So I rushed out to make the train, 156 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,529 which is now 45 minutes late. 157 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,965 This lady with the bass guitar-- 158 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,433 was she pretty? 159 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,103 * 160 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,772 Yeah. 161 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,906 She was beautiful. 162 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,441 Go back and meet her. 163 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,909 No. 164 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,444 But what if it was destiny? 165 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,614 Lady, it's been a really long weekend. 166 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,550 I'm moving to Chicago tomorrow. 167 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,552 I can't really talk destiny right now. 168 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,521 Okay. 169 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:09,997 Yes? 170 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:14,668 What if the universe sent you a gigantic sign 171 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,805 that this woman was your destiny? 172 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,272 Then would you talk to her? 173 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,744 Yeah, sure. I mean, I-I guess I would have to. 174 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,745 Okay. 175 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,747 Okay. 176 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,181 Where is that train? 177 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,851 Can I ask one more question? 178 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,185 What? 179 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,822 This girl with the bass guitar-- 180 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,389 is that her? 181 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,465 That is her, isn't it? 182 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,835 (whoops) This is so exciting. 183 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,302 G-Go talk to her. 184 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,672 (whispers): All right. Just be cool, lady. Damn. 185 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,373 Why are you still sitting here? 186 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,977 Because I'm moving to Chicago tomorrow, remember? 187 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,712 And 24 hours from now, 188 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,282 my life is gonna be completely different. 189 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,118 MARSHALL: This is so strange, you know, now that Ted's 190 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:09,122 gone, it's just a... a different vibe. 191 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:12,626 You can just f-feel his absence. 192 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,327 Are you kidding me?! 193 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,462 Oh, hey. 194 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,797 What are you doing in New York? 195 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,331 Aren't you supposed to be in Chicago? 196 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,967 No... Oh. 197 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,535 Yeah, I'm not doing that. 198 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,870 What? What? 199 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,473 I'm not moving to Chicago. Why? 200 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,975 I met a girl. You... 201 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,409 son of a bitch! 202 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,144 What is the matter with you? 203 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,546 How could you put us through that? 204 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,482 That good-bye was emotionally devastating. 205 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,385 A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower. 206 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,220 And I was pretty bummed, too. 207 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,254 And now you're 208 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,823 staying because of some girl? 209 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,925 I mean, who is this person? 210 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,760 The bass player from the wedding band. 211 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,228 Oh, yeah, she's great. (gasps) 212 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,329 Love her. Right, 213 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,831 right? 214 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,200 What are you... What are you doing? Calling her. 215 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,769 Don't do this. Don't call her the next day. 216 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,937 You're blowing this. Huh? 217 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,239 Three days. You wait three days, Ted. 218 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,843 H-Hey, it's Ted. Hi. Um, 219 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,545 listen, do you ... do you want to have dinner tomorrow night? 220 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,014 Great. 221 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,716 It was clear I meant with me, right? 222 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,152 Same answer. Solid. 223 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,555 MARSHALL: Why does he keep doing this? 224 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,425 He meets 'em, he likes 'em way too much, 225 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,561 he goes way too big, too soon, and he ends up blowing it. 226 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,430 I can't take this anymore. 227 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,233 He's fallen in love so many times now. 228 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,704 Not like this. 229 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,773 This is different. 230 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,108 Come on, go talk to her. 231 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,144 Oh, and it'll all be because of me. 232 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,980 And I'll sing at your wedding. (laughs) 233 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,215 Y-You are gonna have a big wedding, right? 234 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,517 What? No. Just be cool, lady. Damn. 235 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,456 (sighs) And aren't big weddings kind of a young man's game? 236 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,625 You don't have a big wedding in your 30s. 237 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,460 If I do ever get married, 238 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,228 I'm keeping it simple. 239 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,297 BARNEY: A hot air balloon? 240 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,667 Well, yeah. I mean, when you're getting married 241 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,135 in a 17th-century castle in France and making your entrance 242 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,737 on a stagecoach with six white horses, 243 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,806 you kind of got to make a big exit. (chuckles) 244 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,942 How much are you spending on this? 245 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,478 Oh, like, a lot of money. 246 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,813 Mm. All of my money. 247 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,182 Look, I know you guys have been traveling a lot, 248 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,784 but you're coming, right? 249 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,618 Oh course. What... Duh. 250 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,087 (short laugh) (quiet laugh) 251 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,588 I'll get the next round. 252 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,622 Thanks. 253 00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,791 I'd offer, but... 254 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,925 Castle. 255 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,627 Yeah. 256 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,262 So, how you guys doing? 257 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,131 I mean, Robin's really taking off at work, huh? 258 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,802 It's like, "Robin Scherbatsky, World Wide News, Caracas." 259 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,604 "Robin Scherbatsky, World Wide News, St. Petersburg." 260 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,272 "Robin Scherbatsky, World Wide News, 261 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,641 anywhere but New York, apparently." (laughs) 262 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,943 But it's great. 263 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,145 Uh, it's makes things super difficult for us, 264 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,981 but it's great. It's great. 265 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,483 It's great. It's great. 266 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,618 One more and I'll believe you. 267 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,787 It's great. (laughs) Sounds great. 268 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,023 Hey. Hi, hi. Sorry I'm late. 269 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,526 Can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah, sure. Did you wire the down payment to the castle guy? 270 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,161 I got a castle guy. 271 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,563 I've got, like, three castle guys. 272 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,299 And a moat guy, so... 273 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,302 I didn't wire the payment because 274 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,672 I don't think we can get married in September. 275 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,641 What-What, why? Because, 276 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,643 when I do get married, 277 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,246 I kind of want to fit 278 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,015 in... my dress. 279 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,352 Why wouldn't you f... 280 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,320 No. 281 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,321 Yeah. 282 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,356 No. Yeah. 283 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,357 Yeah, yeah. 284 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,392 Yeah. Whoa. (laughing) 285 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,896 What's going on? 286 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,231 She's getting a boob job. 287 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,002 LILY: We just peeked in on Penny 288 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,336 asleep in the baby room. 289 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,604 It's adorable. 290 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,874 The whole place looks great, guys. 291 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,043 But I can't believe you let Ted hang his jousting lance 292 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,512 from the renaissance fair on your bedroom wall. 293 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,281 (chuckles) Yeah. 294 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,648 That's Ted's. 295 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,351 So, Marshall, how's your job going? Mm. 296 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,453 My chair... 297 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,622 is reasonably comfortable. 298 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,892 For short periods of time. 299 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,360 Marshall has decided to say 300 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,197 only positive things about being back in corporate law. 301 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,298 So you hate it? 302 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,201 Much of what I do does not make me cry. 303 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,369 Hey, what about you guys? 304 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,971 How was Argentina? 305 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,541 Great. It was great. 306 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,276 It was great. It was great. 307 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,945 It was great. It wa great. 308 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,815 It was great. (chuckles) 309 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,716 One more and I'll believe you. 310 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,051 (sighs) (sighs) 311 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,886 This is so not great. 312 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,622 I'm sorry that I have to work while I'm here. 313 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,624 It's called being on assignment. 314 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,459 Well, what about me? There's no Wi-Fi in this hotel. 315 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,594 How am I supposed to run a business, Robin, 316 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,130 with no Wi-Fi? 317 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,465 It's not a business, Barney, it's a blog, okay? 318 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,467 It is a lifestyle blog. 319 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,470 For the upscale, sophisticated urban gentleman, and it's 320 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:54,207 never gonna take off if I can't post today's boner joke. 321 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,646 I know I'm always traveling. 322 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,982 We both hate it when I'm gone, we both hate it 323 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,651 when I drag you with me. Neither of us is happy. 324 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,621 Is this just not working anymore? 325 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,524 Wait, w... What "this"? This-this? 326 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:15,829 If I gave you an out, right now-- 327 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,965 if there was an exit ramp right here 328 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:21,501 at the three-year mark-- 329 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,336 would you take it? 330 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,473 Before I answer that, real quick: 331 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,708 you want to get super drunk and have sex right now? 332 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,610 Of course. 333 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,013 And then, one thing led to another. 334 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,614 And then another. 335 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,883 And then another after that. 336 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,150 Oh. Oh. 337 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,619 And we kept drinking, and 338 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,055 may have had a little... too much. 339 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,295 Arigato. 340 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,796 Wow, these rooms all look the same, 341 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,031 even when you're sober. 342 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,366 You're sober? 343 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,070 So, um... 344 00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,507 about what we discussed last night. 345 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,843 How do you feel? 346 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,086 I love you, Robin. 347 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,926 And when we got married, 348 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:24,097 I made a vow that I would always tell you the truth. 349 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,636 We got divorced. 350 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,113 I can't believe you got divorced without telling us. 351 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,715 This is my mom and dad all over again. 352 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,952 Barney, if you start brewing your own beer now 353 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,753 and nail my prom date, so help me... 354 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,121 Years too late on one of those, Teddy. 355 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,557 Guys, it's okay. 356 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,592 This isn't a failed marriage. 357 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,261 It's a very successful marriage 358 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,096 that happened to only last three years. 359 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,098 You both want this? 360 00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,933 For real? 361 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,969 We do. 362 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,670 For real. 363 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,407 Lily, you okay? 364 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,976 Of course I'm not okay. 365 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,411 This ruins everything. 366 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,779 Now we have to choose sides, 367 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,881 and obviously we're gonna choose Robin, 368 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,749 but Barney has his moments. 369 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,251 MARSHALL: I really liked 370 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,652 the boner joke of the day. 371 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,989 Look, you guys do not need to pick sides. 372 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,624 Nothing has to change. No. We've already broken up before 373 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,659 and we've stayed friends, remember? 374 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:30,663 As long as you promise me this won't mean we stop hanging out. 375 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,932 Okay. 376 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,667 I'm serious. I know, but, I mean, 377 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,603 we hardly hang out anymore anyway. 378 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,671 They live in the suburbs now, 379 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,507 and you two are about to have baby number three. 380 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,477 Please. You're so obvious. 381 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,980 Your gals are back up to a full C-cup, 382 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,016 and you've been sipping her drink all night long. 383 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,518 We didn't want to announce anything 384 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,952 till we knew for sure. 385 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,287 Oh, my gosh, Lily! 386 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,955 That's amazing! Oh, congratulations! 387 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,924 Oh, my God. Wait, see? 388 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,592 This, right here, 389 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,929 this is why we can't fall out of each other's lives. 390 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,498 We have to be here for the big moments. 391 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,934 Just promise me, no matter what, 392 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,670 we will always be there for the big moments. 393 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,707 I-I promise. We'll-we'll always be there for the big moments. 394 00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,710 Mm. See? 395 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,547 It's like this whole divorce thing never happened. 396 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,814 (crying) 397 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:22,849 I... 398 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,120 Hey. Hi, sweetie. 399 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,388 How was work? 400 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,491 My-my boss only called me three words 401 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,993 that meant "vagina" today. 402 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,663 How are the kids? Asleep. 403 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,831 Good. This is working, right? 404 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,001 Marvin and Daisy sharing a room together? It's not too cramped? 405 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,970 And then when the next one arrives, 406 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,806 we'll just put her crib... in the shower. 407 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,476 It's the perfect size. It'll save time on cleanups... 408 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,543 Let's move somewhere bigger. 409 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,479 Yes. Oh, thank God. 410 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,082 I mean... You know, 411 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,550 don't get me wrong. I love this apartment. 412 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,819 How do you say good-bye to so many special memories? 413 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,822 Cock-a-mouse! We have to move! 414 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,857 (dance music playing) (laughs) 415 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,562 Hey, Marshall. Robin! 416 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,165 Hey, I'm so glad you're here. It's-it's been forever. 417 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,600 Oh, hey. Hey. 418 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,402 Where's your... where's your costume? 419 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,004 Oh, uh, it's been a crazy week at work 420 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,772 so no time to go shopping. 421 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,075 Uh, well, who are you supposed to be? 422 00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,411 Okay, I want to make it clear this is not my idea. 423 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,279 I'm Captain Ahab. 424 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,548 Why is it bad if it was your idea? 425 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,617 Robin, you made it! A white whale. Got it. (chuckles) 426 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,719 Aw. Hi. Hi. 427 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,221 Yeah, I figured, 428 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,557 people are thinkin' it. Might as well steer into the skid, right? 429 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,259 Where's your costume? 430 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,593 Oh, you know, I've just been so... 431 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,095 (squealing) Oh, my God, Marshall! 432 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,763 Guess whose digits I just scored? 433 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,065 The slutty police officer's... 434 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,401 tax attorney. 435 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,203 Hey, Robin! 436 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,038 Hey. Didn't see you there. 437 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,107 (chuckling nervously) Saved it. 438 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,608 Sorry, I got to pee. 439 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,245 I-I'll be back in... an hour. 440 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,383 Oh, man. 441 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,918 Is Ted still wearing his hanging chad costume? 442 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,054 How old is that thing? It's gone 443 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,723 from played out to charmingly retro and back 444 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,225 six or seven times now. 445 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,593 Kind of like Ted himself. 446 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,995 Tonight it's working for him though. 447 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,499 ROBIN: How do you do this, Ted? How do you 448 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,934 sit out here all night on the roof in the cold 449 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,837 and still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up? 450 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,507 Look, I know that odds are the love of my life 451 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,609 isn't gonna magically walk through that door 452 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,411 in a pumpkin costume at... 453 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,946 2:43 in the morning, but... 454 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,584 this seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know... 455 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,019 sit and wait. 456 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,596 Um... 457 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,499 uh, c-can you tell Lily I-I had to go? 458 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,167 I got to split. 459 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,335 (sighs) 460 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,506 Speaking of splits, do you think I can do a split in midair 461 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,541 like my boy David Lee Roth? 462 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:02,442 I know you can't. 463 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,976 Challenge accepted. 464 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,515 BARNEY: Oh, my scrotum! 465 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,818 (sighs) 466 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,390 I can't get out of this thing. 467 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,858 I'm holding it. 468 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,027 Wait, are you leaving? Yeah, 469 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,062 I got a big day tomorrow. I got to get some sleep. 470 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,132 No, you can't leave. This is a big moment. 471 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,468 We're saying good-bye to the apartment. 472 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,870 The whole gang has to be here. 473 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,572 The gang? 474 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,107 Do you know who the gang is to me, Lily? 475 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,976 Here's what the gang is: 476 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,145 the gang is a married couple 477 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,649 who I never see anymore, about to have their third kid; 478 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,751 it's my ex-husband, 479 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,820 hitting on slutty cops right in front of me; 480 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,824 and it's the guy I probably should have ended up with 481 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,361 with the beautiful mother of his child. 482 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,396 Oh... 483 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,067 Oh, oh, so... so what? 484 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,769 This is all 485 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,571 just over then? 486 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:08,007 Our whole friendship is just over? 487 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,943 No. No, of course not. Look, we'll... 488 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,780 we'll always be friends. It's just... 489 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,316 never gonna be how it was. 490 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,685 It can't be. 491 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,952 And that doesn't 492 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,289 have to be a sad thing. 493 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,791 There-There's so much wonderful stuff happening 494 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,294 in all of our lives right now. 495 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,429 Look, more than enough to be grateful for. 496 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,466 But the five of us hanging out at MacLaren's, 497 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,803 being young and stupid... 498 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,738 (sighs) that's just not one of those things. 499 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,109 (sighs) I got to go. 500 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,245 Good night, Lily. 501 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,582 Good night. 502 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,599 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org