1 00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:05,373 * 2 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,509 You're my best friend, Barney. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,743 Good. Then, as your best friend, 4 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,379 I suggest we play a game I like to call 5 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,813 Have You Met Ted? 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,048 What? Oh, my God. 7 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,649 I'm so stupid. 8 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,817 Stay there. I'm on my way. 9 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,252 * Say, man 10 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:20,354 * Don't walk ahead of that woman * 11 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,490 * Like she don't belong to you 12 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,393 * Just 'cause her got them little skinny legs * 13 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,995 * You know that ain't no way to do * 14 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,764 * You didn't act like that when you had it home * 15 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,234 * Behind closed doors 16 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,336 * All right 17 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,606 * Now you act like you're ashamed at a woman * 18 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,742 * Don't even want nobody to know she's yours * 19 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,043 * But that's all right 20 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,513 * You just walk on, baby 21 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,683 * And don't you worry about a doggone thing at all * 22 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,385 Excuse me. Pardon me. 23 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,188 * Because there's some man somewhere who'll take you * 24 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:56,290 * Baby, skinny legs and all 25 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,058 I am so, so sorry. 26 00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,960 I went to the one on the West Side. 27 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:03,063 I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten about me. (laughs) 28 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,746 NARRATOR: Kids, the night your Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall got engaged, 29 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,382 the night I met Aunt Robin, was the night of your mom's 30 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,484 21st birthday. Happy birthday. 31 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,986 W-Where's Max? He couldn't get a cab. 32 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,156 Which is code for "waited until the last minute 33 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,657 to get me a birthday gift." 34 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,624 Although... 35 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,992 he always nails it. 36 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,994 Two years ago, he got me an exact replica 37 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,596 of the Pee-wee's Big Adventure bike. 38 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,332 And last year, he got me a one-man band suit 39 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,301 including knee cymbals. 40 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,069 And these are things you want? 41 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,904 No, these are things I need. 42 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,105 (phone rings) Oh, that's Max. 43 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,440 Uh... I got to take this. 44 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,542 Okay. 45 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,480 Okay, you're officially super late now... 46 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,420 Yes, this is she. 47 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,555 * 48 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:26,146 * 49 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,893 WOMAN: Okay, this is ridiculous. 50 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,196 You've been sitting around for two years. 51 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,897 It's time to get back out there. 52 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,500 I have not been sitting around. I have been hard at work. 53 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,369 I think I'm about to enter my 54 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,472 "Robots Doing Track and Field Events" period. 55 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,640 It's a very exciting time. 56 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,641 (door closes) 57 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,576 Sweetie. 58 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:56,910 I love you. 59 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,746 And I can't imagine what it was like 60 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,248 going through what you went through. 61 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,216 But these are your 20s. 62 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,984 It's St. Patrick's Day. 63 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,253 The holiday of my people. 64 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,421 You're not Irish. Binge drinkers. 65 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,722 Now, let's go. 66 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,258 No, please don't make me go out there. 67 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,359 It's gonna rain. 68 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,361 Bring your umbrella. 69 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,429 (sighs) 70 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,265 (dance music plays) 71 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,568 How is the bathroom line this long and yet the floor 72 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,336 is covered with urine? If there's urine out here, 73 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,272 what in God's name is going on in there? 74 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,440 Screw this, we're holding it. Let's go dance. 75 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,575 No, thanks. 76 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,677 This is what I'm talking about. 77 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,045 The love of your life could be on that dance floor, 78 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,181 waiting for you to bump into him. 79 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,717 If you're not there, he's just gonna bump into someone else. 80 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,952 Somehow I doubt it. 81 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,521 Oh, I'm sorry. 82 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,955 No, that's okay. 83 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,391 I'm going in. 84 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,192 Wait, is that... 85 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,360 Mitch. 86 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,929 No way. Hi. 87 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,598 What are you doing in New York? 88 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,732 I live here. What? 89 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,100 Uh, this is my friend, Kelly. 90 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,568 Hey. Hi. 91 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,136 Mitch was my instructor at orchestra camp. 92 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,371 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. KELLY: Orchestra camp. 93 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,606 It's not as lame as it sounds. 94 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,207 We also did physics, so... Right. 95 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,743 So, Mitch, what are you up to these days? 96 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,111 I'm still teaching orchestra. 97 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,746 I'm at this public school up in the Bronx. 98 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,214 It's totally underfunded, 99 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,382 a lot of the kids can't afford instruments, 100 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,217 but I really... Take my cello. 101 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,385 What? Yeah. 102 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,620 Oh, yeah, you gotta take it. 103 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:13,754 I haven't played it in years. 104 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,755 It's just sitting in my closet. 105 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,723 Give it to one of the kids! 106 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,057 Wow, are you sure? 107 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,058 Do you want to come and get it right now? 108 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,560 Um... okay. 109 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,463 Okay, great. Let's go. (laughing) 110 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,899 Okay, yes, you're doing something nice. 111 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,435 But you're still bailing on me. 112 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,571 So I guess, karmically... it evens out? 113 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,239 I'm just worried about you. 114 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,507 Don't be. 115 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:34,508 Have fun. 116 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,909 And who knows? 117 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,178 Maybe you'll bump into someone tonight. 118 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,013 Oh... 119 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,282 (exhales) 120 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,986 Girl, I will sham-rock your world. 121 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,757 (laughing): Okay... 122 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,125 I'll... 123 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,293 We'll... 124 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,463 Okay. 125 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,498 THE MOTHER: Okay, here it is. 126 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,433 I haven't played this 127 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,802 since the popular girls locked me inside the case. 128 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,805 Although it was roomier than when I played the violin... 129 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,306 (gasps) What are you doing?! 130 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,708 I don't know. 131 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:08,942 What am I doing? 132 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:09,977 I don't know! What are you doing?! 133 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,178 This is my thing... 134 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,446 It most certainly is your thing. 135 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,381 Now, please cover your thing up. 136 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,715 Sorry. 137 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,683 I-I meant... 138 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,351 this move. 139 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,552 It's my thing. 140 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,454 I call it "The Naked Man." 141 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,522 A few weeks ago, 142 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,357 I was on a date, and it worked. 143 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,493 And then I was on another date and it worked again, 144 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,127 so I figured it would work all the time. 145 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,662 Well, now you know it doesn't work all the time. 146 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,398 Yeah. 147 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,500 Although two out of three... 148 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,635 Is this what it's gonna be like? 149 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,237 Being single in New York? 150 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,873 Even the nice guys turn out to be total creeps? 151 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:43,711 I have gotten pretty creepy since I moved here. 152 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,847 I feel so lost right now. 153 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,916 I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. 154 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,752 Can I tell you an embarrassing story? 155 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,020 Is it this one? 156 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,354 Taking place right now? 157 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,256 I felt lost 158 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,258 for a long time, too. 159 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,929 I was living in my parents' basement. 160 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,498 Playing video games, mastur... 161 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,233 ing those games, 162 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,367 until 163 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,736 I finally woke up 164 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,672 and realized I wanted to follow my dream 165 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,206 of teaching music. 166 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,944 Let me save you a few years. 167 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,713 Even if it sounds completely crazy... 168 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,949 what is it you want to do with your life? 169 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:25,519 I want to end poverty. 170 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,920 Great. 171 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,457 Then every decision you make from here on out 172 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,825 should be in service of that. 173 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:33,927 Wow. 174 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,696 Thanks. 175 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,097 You know, for a minute there, 176 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,466 I totally forgot you were naked. 177 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,733 (laughs) 178 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,469 In a way... 179 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,270 aren't we all naked? 180 00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,573 Yeah, but your balls are on my couch. 181 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,309 Hug? I will take a rain check. 182 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,611 It's raining now. (gasps) 183 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,813 Oh, my umbrella! Oh! Uh... 184 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,082 I will be right back. 185 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,283 Um... long story. 186 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,951 (door closes) 187 00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,720 Nothing happened, I swear. 188 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,354 Then why are you naked? 189 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,492 Oh, what the hell? 190 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,629 THE MOTHER: When I got to the club, it had already closed. 191 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,230 By the next day, some super inconsiderate 192 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,099 person had taken my umbrella. 193 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,935 But by that point, I didn't care. 194 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,970 I knew that if I really wanted to end poverty, 195 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:20,073 I had to get a degree in economics. 196 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,809 So... 197 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,076 to answer your question, 198 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,678 that's how I got here. 199 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,414 I meant, how did you get here from the subway station? 200 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,450 Oh. But I'm only asking 'cause I just moved to town. 201 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,753 I don't even have a place to live yet. 202 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,321 Yeah, you do. 203 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,422 Come live with me. 204 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,790 My roommate just moved out. 205 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,025 Are you sure? 206 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,026 You just met me. 207 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,494 I could be a serial killer. 208 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,462 I like to believe in people. 209 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:46,166 Plus, what are the chances that we're both serial killers? 210 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,200 (laughs) 211 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,502 Just promise me there won't be 212 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,937 any naked men in the living room. 213 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,371 Not a problem. 214 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:54,542 I'm on permanent hiatus in the love department. 215 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,543 Really? 216 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,810 I find that hard to believe. 217 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,211 I guess I'm old-fashioned. 218 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:01,314 I believe that each of us only gets one. 219 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,151 And I got mine already. 220 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,452 Well, if you ask me, 221 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,555 you know what comes after the one? 222 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,556 The next one. 223 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,990 (laughing): Oh, yeah. 224 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,992 Well, I don't really see that happening 225 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,394 any time soon. 226 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,696 Hi. 227 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,030 Is this room seven? 228 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,473 And so, if you must bring food to this class, 229 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,475 please bring enough for everyone. 230 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,410 I don't want to see someone 231 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,646 eating, say, lobster, in the front row 232 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,982 without sharing with the rest of us. 233 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,416 Because that... 234 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,486 would be shellfish. 235 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,689 (laughs) 236 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,759 Come on, that was funny. 237 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,761 Anyway... (clears throat) ...this is Architecture 101. 238 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,229 Architecture 101? 239 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,198 Oh, no, I'm in the wrong class! I have to go! 240 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,768 Oh, sorry. 241 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:55,836 Um... 242 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,237 Oh, God. 243 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,906 Wait, I was in the right class. 244 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,208 First day as a professor, wrong classroom, coming through! 245 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,614 TED: You play bass? 246 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,348 Seriously, ask my friends. 247 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,349 I always say 248 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,618 my ideal woman... 249 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,620 ...does not play bass, 250 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,755 because this is clearly your roommate's. 251 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,889 She's in a band. 252 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,390 Damn, that's cool. 253 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,959 This is unbelievable. 254 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,628 You just picked out the only three things in here 255 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,195 that are my roommate's. 256 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,964 So does your roommate's band ever play shows or... 257 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,834 Get out. All right. 258 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,423 Okay, this is crazy. 259 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,992 Do you know where this umbrella came from? 260 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,426 Because I could've sworn that I... 261 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,796 What's wrong? 262 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:56,930 Are you okay? 263 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,298 We broke up. 264 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,934 Oh... well, I never liked him, 265 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:03,503 and I never thought he deserved you, and... 266 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,639 I am sorry, I didn't know you were dating someone. 267 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,807 Who was this? 268 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,076 He was the architecture professor. 269 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,779 The one who taught Econ 305 by accident. 270 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,280 Oh. 271 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,614 That guy? 272 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,116 Why did you break up? 273 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,685 He's got a thing for you. 274 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:18,986 What? 275 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,120 Yeah, what? 276 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,454 He's... what? 277 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,824 How... um, how could he have a thing for me? 278 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,125 He's never even met me. 279 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,626 He didn't have to. 280 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,762 Everything he saw of yours, he went crazy for. 281 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,931 You should've brought him to my room. 282 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,766 Okay? He would've run screaming 283 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,367 once he saw my calligraphy set, 284 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,803 my coin collection, 285 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,505 my chain-mail corset from the Renaissance Faire. 286 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,473 Well, that's pretty cool. 287 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,675 Come on. 288 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,276 How could he not be in love with you? 289 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,278 The way you fall asleep on the couch 290 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,479 when you're doing the crossword. 291 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,115 When did he see me fall asleep on... 292 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,482 The way your hair smells. 293 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,219 The way your eyes sparkle. 294 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,127 I might have some stuff to figure out. 295 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,730 You might. I'm so sorry! 296 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,732 No, uh, it's okay. 297 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,199 It was nice. 298 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,536 I haven't been kissed in a really long time. 299 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,472 Not long after that, she met a nice girl 300 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,241 and they fell in love, 301 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:17,244 so it's a happy ending-- for Cindy anyway. 302 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,813 I, however, am left without a roommate, 303 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,015 so here we are. 304 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,350 (chuckles) 305 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,651 I have a confession. 306 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,920 Uh, I don't need a place to live. 307 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,256 I saw your ad for the roommate, and I just... 308 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,024 I-I really wanted to meet you. 309 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:35,162 I-I'm a huge fan of your band SuperFreakonomics. 310 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,730 Oh, my gosh, really? 311 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,531 Really, I come to all your shows, 312 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,901 and I'm not just saying this-- I think you guys are 313 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:44,504 the best economic-themed band in the entire city. 314 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,673 Even better than Radiohedge Fund? 315 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,008 Oh, absolutely. 316 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,311 I wish I had the guts to do what you do. 317 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:55,949 I love to sing, but... 318 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,751 You know what? 319 00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:01,288 Next time we do a show, you have got to come up onstage with us 320 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,355 and sing a song. 321 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,224 Oh, no, I couldn't. Mm-hmm. 322 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,127 No, I'm, I'm, I'm too shy. 323 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,398 * But maybe just one song! 324 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:17,137 I mean, I don't like to think of SuperFreakonomics as my band. 325 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,139 I think of it as my canvas 326 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,741 upon which I paint my masterpieces. 327 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,243 (laughs) 328 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,879 And that right there is why I don't play bass. 329 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,816 (laughter) 330 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,418 Can I help you with that? 331 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,288 Uh, wow, thanks, Superman. 332 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,157 No problem. 333 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,425 It's either help you 334 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,827 or stop a train from going off a cliff, 335 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,261 and you're much cuter. 336 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,462 (chuckles) 337 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,430 Can I buy you a drink? 338 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,999 Oh, no, sorry, I'm 16. 339 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,803 Oh, wow, sorry. 340 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,004 Have a good night. 341 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,439 Wait, you believe that? 342 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,307 I like you. 343 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,776 Uh, sure, you can buy me a drink. 344 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,345 MacLaren's. 345 00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,612 The last time I was here, 346 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,148 I thought this place was called Puzzles. 347 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,482 That's an odd name. 348 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,417 Why would you call a bar Puzzles? 349 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,187 Unless that's the puzzle. 350 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,421 Well, um, 351 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,958 thank you for the drink. 352 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,693 Uh, so, do you want to get dinner sometime? 353 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,896 Um... 354 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,200 Louis, you're really nice, but... 355 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,370 I was in love with somebody a long time ago, 356 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,205 and he died. 357 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,673 Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. 358 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,177 Uh, it's silly, but... 359 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:34,281 it's like the first lottery ticket I ever bought was... 360 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:38,318 kaboom, jackpot, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to win again, 361 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,853 not like that anyway, 362 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:43,957 so I don't generally buy lottery tickets anymore. 363 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,125 I understand. 364 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,194 So I should... go. 365 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:50,497 Well, if you change your mind... 366 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,200 ...give me a call. 367 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,667 Okay. 368 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,912 Okay, now we're even! 369 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,679 What?! What?! 370 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,182 So we got dinner. And? 371 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,519 He's... nice. 372 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,355 Nice? He sounds amazing! 373 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,224 Handsome, good dresser, paid for dinner. 374 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,558 What more do you want? 375 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,560 Do you know how rough it is out there? 376 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,896 I once met a guy claiming to be a genie 377 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,531 whose penis grants wishes. 378 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,634 Oh, my God, who would even fall for that? 379 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,337 The point is, Louis sounds great. 380 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,940 NARRATOR: And that's how your mom started dating Louis. 381 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,675 And for a little while there, it was fine. 382 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,545 THE MOTHER: * One tasty English muffin 383 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,114 * Baby, that is what I am 384 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,249 * Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da 385 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:45,085 * One tasty English muffin 386 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:49,722 * With some raspberry jam. 387 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,591 That's funny. (chuckles) 388 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,894 NARRATOR: It just wasn't love. 389 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,230 But then fate intervened. 390 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,532 Anyway, you guys wouldn't, uh, happen to know of any 391 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,069 good wedding bands available at the last minute, would you? 392 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:07,107 Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please. 393 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,709 NARRATOR: Now, Louis had a beach house out in Farhampton, 394 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,444 so he let your mother stay there. 395 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,280 The day before the wedding, as she was taking 396 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,415 some cookies out of the oven, she got an e-mail. 397 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,385 (gasps) What the damn hell?! 398 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,121 "Bass player wanted," that is what the ad said. 399 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,956 Can you believe that? 400 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:27,060 After I'm the one who invited Darren into the band. 401 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,561 What am I gonna do? 402 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,965 You need to steal this douche monkey's van. 403 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,435 Then run my husband over with it. 404 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,437 Well, that's very tempting. 405 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,772 I've never really been the type of person to... 406 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,142 "Must be hotter than the girl we have now, 407 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,877 who, in my opinion, is a six at best"? 408 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:52,219 Aw, geez, what is this knucklehead doing? 409 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,091 Excuse me! Hey! 410 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,792 You guys need a lift? 411 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,428 DARREN: The best man just punched me 412 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,962 in the face for no reason. 413 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,197 You know what? I quit. 414 00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,565 You can have your stupid band back. 415 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,470 Linus, whoever that best man is, 416 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:14,207 I would like to buy him a double of your finest scotch. 417 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,852 Louis! 418 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,060 Will you marry me? 419 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,671 Can you give me a minute? Um... okay. 420 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,507 There's someone that I need to talk to. 421 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,843 I'll-I'll be right back. 422 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,247 (breathes heavily) 423 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:05,425 Hi, Max. It's me. 424 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,227 Sorry to interrupt. 425 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,197 I know you're probably up there playing baseball with your dad. 426 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:15,368 Um, look, I-I've got a situation here. 427 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:19,939 I think that I have been holding myself back 428 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:23,176 from falling in love again. 429 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:28,047 (voice breaks): And I think it's because I can't let you go. 430 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:31,017 But you're not here anymore... 431 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,788 so I have to ask this: 432 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:40,460 Would it be okay if I moved on? 433 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,732 I realize that you have no way of answering that, 434 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,066 but, um... 435 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,935 Oh, okay... (laughs) 436 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,539 I will take that as yes. 437 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,643 Um, in that case, I should get back in there. 438 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:07,387 (voice breaks): I guess this is it. 439 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,289 For real this time. 440 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,960 Bye, Max. (sniffles) 441 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,634 (sighs, sniffles) 442 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,644 So? 443 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,155 My answer is... 444 00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,856 no. 445 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,699 (sighs) 446 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,469 (sobs) 447 00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,972 DESK CLERK: You're in luck. 448 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,841 Mother of the bride never checked in. 449 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:03,710 How many keys will you be needing? 450 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,677 Just one. 451 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,112 Yeah. I just... 452 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,815 I broke up with someone. 453 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:16,523 I think room number six is the room for you. 454 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,924 Thank you. 455 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,045 (plays soft chord) 456 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,602 (plays soft ballad) 457 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:20,186 * Hold me close and hold me fast * 458 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,055 * This magic spell you cast 459 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:27,260 * This is la vie en rose 460 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:31,631 * When you kiss me, Heaven sighs * 461 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,767 * And though I close my eyes 462 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:39,306 * I see la vie en rose 463 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:43,443 * When you press me to your heart * 464 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,812 * I'm in a world apart 465 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:50,082 * A world where roses bloom 466 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:55,788 * And when you speak, angels sing from above * 467 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,725 * Everyday words 468 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:04,297 * Seem to turn into love songs 469 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:09,836 * Give your heart and soul to me * 470 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:14,607 * And life will always be 471 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:19,679 * La vie en rose. 472 00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:22,449 (plays ending chord) 473 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,788 NARRATOR: Kids, I must have heard your mom's rendition 474 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,824 of "La Vie en Rose" a million times over the years. 475 00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:35,127 Every night when she tucked you in, for instance. 476 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,996 But that performance, 477 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,599 that first night I ever heard her sing, 478 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,835 that one will always be my favorite. 479 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,642 Wow. 480 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:53,312 Barney, I was just out there on the patio... 481 00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,682 and there's someone in the room next to us. 482 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,183 I didn't see her, but... 483 00:21:57,216 --> 00:22:00,520 Well, she was playing the ukulele... 484 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,157 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 485 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,393 Barney?