1 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,805 TED: Your mom's not coming to the wedding? 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,407 Okay, seriously, I-I need to stop crying 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,876 Does anyone know how to turn this off? 4 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,378 Is there, like, a button or something? 5 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,080 Want me to feel around for it? 6 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,847 It's probably somewhere on your back. 7 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,150 Stop it. What? I'm trying to cheer you up. 8 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,186 I don't think that's possible at this point. 9 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,720 Challenge accepted! 10 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,021 No, Barney, 11 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:24,258 I just need to get myself to stop crying, that's all. 12 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:25,593 Boogity-boo! 13 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,695 Lily, what the hell?! It's not the hiccups. 14 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,230 I was just going on a hunch. 15 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,799 (hiccups) And now I have the hiccups. 16 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,747 Look, guys, just, seriously, don't worry about me, okay? 17 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,582 Just let me deal with this on my own. 18 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,018 I'm afraid that's not possible, Robin. 19 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,288 Once I've accepted a challenge, it cannot be unaccepted. 20 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:57,791 I will not rest until the job is done. 21 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:58,959 Oh, is that so? 22 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:02,696 Then where are our diapers and Samosas? 23 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,232 Aha! 24 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,800 NARRATOR: Diapers and Samosas. Oh, that's about something 25 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,937 that happened six months earlier in the fall of 2012. 26 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,240 BOTH: Major craving for a mojito. 27 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,774 Oh, God, we're back 28 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:16,210 to your stupid little private joke again? 29 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:19,046 Are you guys really still doing this seven years later? 30 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,415 It's so annoying. Just stop it. 31 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,916 Private joke again? 32 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,119 Are you guys really still doing this seven years later? 33 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,454 It's so annoying. Just stop it. 34 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,222 You don't salute a private! 35 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,158 I'll be right back. All right. 36 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,726 Lily, are you playing footsie with me? 37 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,128 What? 38 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,464 Oh, no, no. I was just feeling around for your shin. 39 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:37,998 My shin? Why would you...? 40 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,733 Ow! Why'd you do that? 41 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,101 To remind you what pain is. 42 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:44,805 You keep it up with all the cutesy-tootsy stuff with Robin, 43 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,941 gonna be a whole lot more where that came from. 44 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,910 Lily, you have nothing to worry about. 45 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,346 I better not. You and Robin are platonic. 46 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:55,316 Please. Ted and Robin are not platonic. 47 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,485 Just like me and Robin are not platonic. 48 00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:01,255 Just like no two single people in the world are ever platonic. 49 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:04,124 Symposium: two people are only platonic if 50 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:07,928 in the next 20 minutes there is no chance of them hooking up. 51 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,333 Truth is, I only know of one genuinely platonic relationship. 52 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,367 You and me. 53 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,535 Don't make me laugh, Lily. 54 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,170 You want to hit this so hard. 55 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:20,107 Seriously, she's playing footsies with me as I... Ow! 56 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,711 No, I'm talking about Marshall and Robin. 57 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,480 NARRATOR: Marshall and Robin wouldn't hook up even if this happened: 58 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,115 Marshall, Robin! 59 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,118 If you guys don't full-on make out in the next 20 minutes, 60 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,487 they're gonna blow me up and everyone in this bar! 61 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,689 My God, no! Anyone but Robin. 62 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,491 I really don't want to do this! 63 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,427 Guys, we have no time! Just do it! 64 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,471 I'm sorry, baby, I just, I can't do it. 65 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,138 Aw... 66 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,306 (explosion) 67 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,875 And the only survivor was me 68 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,010 because I was upstairs banging Ted's mom. 69 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,580 What? Get that blond girl's phone number? 70 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,148 Challenge accepted. 71 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,584 (phone rings) 72 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:07,054 Unknown caller, stop calling me. 73 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,188 Are you gonna answer it? 74 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,056 Yeah, 'cause it's 1994 75 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,658 and I'm gonna pick up a phone 76 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,925 without knowing who's on the other end. 77 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,161 I should get going. 78 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,229 Ted... 79 00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:17,064 Lily, by every definition of the word platonic, 80 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,066 including Barney's fake one, I can say 81 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,368 with total certainty... 82 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,769 that Brussels sprouts 83 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,704 are the comeback vegetable of the 21st century. 84 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:24,872 Well, see you guys later. 85 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,674 Bye. 86 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,110 Challenge completed. 87 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:33,013 I'm sorry. I-I missed the first half of this. 88 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,114 Um, why is picking up 89 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:37,251 a drunk chick sitting alone and rubbing a tan line 90 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:40,421 on her finger where a wedding ring used to be, a challenge? 91 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:43,223 Because I said challenge accepted. 92 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,259 See? That's your problem, Barney. 93 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:48,262 You only accept challenges you came up with. 94 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:51,198 Just once, I'd like to see you accept 95 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,433 someone else's challenge. 96 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:55,035 Challenge acc... Wait-- what's the challenge? 97 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,806 Interesting. An opportunity rife with possibilities. 98 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,073 We need to find something 99 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,109 with just the right amount of poetic... 100 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:05,078 Get a girl's number while talking like a dolphin! 101 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,980 That works. 102 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,288 (chittering like a dolphin) 103 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,063 Open your eyes, ref! That's not a pregnant lady! 104 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,098 It's a basketball under his shirt! 105 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,634 Blow the freakin' whistle! 106 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,337 Anyways, Barney's right; 107 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,439 I would absolutely let the bar blow up. 108 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,141 But you'd die, and Lily would die, too. 109 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,744 Yeah, but then we could haunt the bar for eternity 110 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,812 like we always planned. Anyways, Robin's your girl. 111 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,648 Why do we keep coming back to this? 112 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,916 It's fun. Tickets are cheap. Gets us out of the house. 113 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,051 No, me and Robin. 114 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,989 Because Robin told me that she's still in love with you. 115 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,931 Are you serious? Robin told you that she's 116 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,032 still in love with me? 117 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,534 No, I just made that up. 118 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,770 But it was worth it because I can tell 119 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,773 by that look on your face that you still have feelings for Robin. 120 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,441 Okay, ball is sitting on the basket! 121 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,210 That's not only illegal, it's unsafe! 122 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,780 Come on, Gens, D up! 123 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,983 It's this monastery in Connecticut out in the woods, 124 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,952 and the nuns there, they make this gourmet cheese. 125 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,120 It's just amazing. 126 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,022 (chittering) 127 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,024 Wow, was that three glasses of wine? 128 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,559 Where does the time go 129 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:27,795 (chitters) 130 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,730 (chuckles) Look, I know that you need 131 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,064 to get back to your studies. 132 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,734 Maybe we could get together some other time? 133 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,404 (clicking, chittering) 134 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,571 No! Not possible! 135 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,373 It was the performance of a lifetime. 136 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,875 Man, if I'd have hung around for a few more minutes, 137 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:42,976 I probably could have 138 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,078 gotten her to touch my blowhole. Give me that. 139 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,346 (distant phone rings) 140 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,181 Hello? 141 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,083 Hi, did you just give your phone number to a guy 142 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,084 who was squeaking like a dolphin? 143 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,186 (chuckles) Yeah. 144 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,321 Honey, listen to me. 145 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,657 I need you to take a year, a full year 146 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,191 and just be celibate, okay? 147 00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,159 No boys. 148 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,694 One year. 149 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,663 I think you know I'm right about this. 150 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,997 You're right. 151 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,365 Yeah. 152 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,900 That was heartbreaking 153 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,269 And pants-breaking Boing-oing-oing! 154 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,004 All right, next challenge. 155 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,073 Oh, this is an all-night thing? 156 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:17,077 Okay, um, pick up a girl... 157 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,012 wearing a garbage bag. 158 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,215 (scoffs) I'd be "Glad" to. 159 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,085 Just hope she's not too "Hefty." 160 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:29,423 And those are all of the brands of trash bags I can think of. 161 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,624 I'm not done. 162 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:34,795 You also can't use the letter "E." 163 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:41,401 Challng... accptd-d. 164 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,638 You're single, she's single, 165 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,106 It's time to do this. 166 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,075 You're only saying this because you bet Lily 167 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,943 that Robin and I would end up together, 168 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,278 and you want that five bucks. 169 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,080 I need that five bucks, Ted. 170 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,783 But more importantly, I need you to be happy. 171 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,818 Marshall, we're platonic. 172 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,152 But you're not platonic! 173 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:02,089 You are 20 short minutes away from happily ever after. 174 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,324 I mean, if you left right now. 175 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,763 Hey. 176 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,665 I have loved you from the moment we met. 177 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,133 I know we're meant to be together. 178 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,468 I don't want to waste another second without you. 179 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:15,469 Let's give it another shot. 180 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,070 Okay! 181 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,006 No! (buzzer sounds) 182 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,174 Pay up, baby. Pay up. 183 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,176 TED: Oh, yes! 184 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,346 * Sweet, sweet five bucks, you soon will be mine * 185 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,849 * Even though Lily and I share bank accounts * 186 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,585 * You're already mine to begin with. * Sorry. 187 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:35,322 And you and Robin get a lifetime of happiness, so there's that. 188 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,524 But you better hurry up 189 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,125 before some other guy snatches her up. 190 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,027 Really? And who's my competition? 191 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:44,865 Okay, don't use the letter "E." Don't use the letter "E." 192 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,100 Hey. 193 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,169 Damn it. 194 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,840 Hi. I... am... 195 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,775 Barney. Damn it! 196 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,976 There's an E in my name! 197 00:07:56,009 --> 00:08:00,180 Hi. My word for... 198 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,584 this guy is Barno. 199 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:09,990 Barno. You look... 200 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,659 not ugly. 201 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,560 (chuckles) 202 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,962 Your... dial thing... 203 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:15,996 is what? 204 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,732 Do you want to just go back to my place? 205 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,433 Yes. Damn it! 206 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,971 I want to buy you a drink. 207 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,576 But first, what do I call you? 208 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,177 Elaine Edelstein. 209 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,983 How about I just call you... 210 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,350 tomorrow? 211 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,854 Your digits, m'lady? 212 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,423 Seriously, guys, 213 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,392 you're gonna have to try harder than that. 214 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,460 Challenge accepted. 215 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,163 Excuse me, hi. 216 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,666 I'm Ryan Gosling's personal assistant. 217 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,068 He saw you as you were walking in, 218 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:58,171 and he sent me over to tell you to wait here. 219 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,773 Be cool. This is real, okay? 220 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:03,276 But listen, Ryan is super shy. 221 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,545 Aw... I know. 222 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,448 Which means that if he comes in here and he sees you talking 223 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,118 to some other guy, he's gonna turn right around and leave. 224 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,754 Nod if you understand. 225 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:15,889 Redhead at the bar. 226 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,157 Challenge accepted. 227 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,961 Hey, there. Get away from me! 228 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,263 It's like you're trying to lose, Eddie! 229 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,765 Hey, Eddie, last time I saw 230 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,466 this many turnovers was at a bakery. Oh! 231 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,436 So are you doing this or what? No. 232 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,739 And for the record, if I were gonna do it, 233 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,608 I wouldn't just be, like, "Hey, we should get back together." 234 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:35,809 Amateur hour. 235 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,645 Here's how you do it. 236 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,415 Excuse me. Okay, sorry. 237 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,852 (text alert sounds) Sorry. 238 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:46,954 Huh. 239 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,760 Stop, thief! 240 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,766 MARSHALL: The blue French horn, it's so romantic! 241 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,101 Oh, my God, do you know who you are?! 242 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,970 You're Nicholas Sparks! 243 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,073 Hey, everybody, we got a, uh, celebrity 244 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,076 in the crowd over here. We got, uh, Nicholas Sparks! 245 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,644 You didn't let me finish. 246 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,646 Ted, listen... 247 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,914 (buzzer sounds) 248 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,849 I can do without reliving that. 249 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,151 Are you completely blind? 250 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:18,852 What? 251 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,654 Open your eyes, ref! 252 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,290 The ball hasn't touched the ground in seven minutes! 253 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,925 Hey, ref, check your voicemail! 254 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,827 I think you've missed a few calls! 255 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,829 (scoffs) 256 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:32,132 Are you completely blind?! 257 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,300 Wait-- me or...? 258 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,968 You, Ted! 259 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,303 Robin has changed her mind. 260 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,005 No, Robin doesn't change her mind. 261 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,606 Except that she does. 262 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,342 Remember how she used to claim to hate white guy funk bands? 263 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,544 And yet, at the farewell performance of my band, 264 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,114 "The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk," 265 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,182 there's Robin rhythmically nodding her head 266 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,885 and shouting out a request for "Give Up the Funk." 267 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:55,122 I think she was nodding her head in response to my question, 268 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,190 "Do you want to leave soon?" 269 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:58,959 And she was legitimately suggesting 270 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,260 that you give up the funk. 271 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,997 Can we just drop this? I have moved on. 272 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,733 Well, except that you haven't. 273 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,068 You didn't just come up with this blue French horn thing. 274 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,536 You've thought about this. 275 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,971 EDDIE: Mr. Sparks? 276 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,305 I loved The Notebook. 277 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,142 Eddie, you're down by 80. 278 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,010 Will you watch the game? 279 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,347 Do not come any closer! 280 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,548 I swear to God I will kill you. 281 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:24,184 It's cool. I'm not gonna come any closer. 282 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,987 You're looking at the door, you're waiting for someone. 283 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,222 Someone important, someone who will fill 284 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,158 an empty space in your life. 285 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,093 A movie star? 286 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,427 Ah-huh. 287 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,830 But which one? 288 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,365 Clooney, 289 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,902 DiCaprio, Zabka...? 290 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,703 No... 291 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,073 I'm gonna go with Ryan... 292 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,776 Reyn... 293 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,177 Phil-Phillip... 294 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,746 Seacr... Gosling... 295 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,447 Ryan Gosling! 296 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,949 Yes, I'm waiting for Ryan Gosling, okay? 297 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,218 Now, leave me alone. 298 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,826 You passed my test, girl. 299 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,864 Ryan? ROBIN: No. 300 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,033 Just... no. 301 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,367 I told her I'm a method actor. 302 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,036 And I had to get plastic surgery 303 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,105 for an upcoming role where I play a man 304 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,907 much more handsome than myself. 305 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,042 Congratulations, you win. 306 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,543 Win? No, I don't want to win. 307 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,046 I want to keep playing. More challenges. 308 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,080 Fine, you want another challenge? 309 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,216 More challenges, more challenges. 310 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,317 Fine, here's your challenge. 311 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,953 Go down to the pharmacy and buy some diapers. 312 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,989 And, uh, get me a Samosa from the Indian place. 313 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,958 Sounds like an errand. 314 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,093 While picking up a girl. 315 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,830 Challenge accepted! 316 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,997 Come on! 317 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:44,998 Whatever happened to the guy 318 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,066 who wasn't afraid to charge 319 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,400 headlong into the unknown? 320 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,969 What unknown? 321 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,237 Sure, eight years ago 322 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,839 when I stole that blue French horn, yeah. 323 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,173 That was the unknown. 324 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,508 But now? I mean, how many times have we been here? 325 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,510 I know exactly what's gonna happen. 326 00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,147 You know who else knew exactly what was gonna happen, Ted? 327 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:03,116 The Washington Generals on January 5, 1971. 328 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,685 They knew they were gonna lose, but they went in there anyway, 329 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,020 and then gave it their best shot. 330 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:09,022 And they won that game, Ted! 331 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,091 For one reason and for one reason only. 332 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,360 A scoring error and the fact that Curly Neal had the flu? 333 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,462 Perseverance. 334 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,597 It was the only win in Generals history, 335 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,132 but that's all you need. 336 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,667 Just one win. 337 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,668 (cell phone ringing) 338 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:25,038 I'm gonna go grab us some beers. 339 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,174 (clicks tongue) 340 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,943 Hi, I don't know who this is or what you're trying to sell, 341 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,512 but you are disturbing me during the Globetrotters. 342 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:36,183 Hello, Ted, it's Hammond Druthers. 343 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,754 Target acquired. 344 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,468 I'm recruiting volunteers 345 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,070 for the starving puppy orphanage where I work. 346 00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:58,538 For free. 347 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:02,242 So, if you wouldn't mind just writing your number down 348 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,045 on this signup sheet...? 349 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:08,681 Listen, I appreciate that you feel 350 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,183 like you need my number. 351 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,184 Um. 352 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,420 Maybe it's because you're really sad 353 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,055 about something and this is your way 354 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,856 of feeling better about yourself. 355 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,991 But... 356 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,760 since I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure 357 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,496 I heard you call me a target earlier over there, 358 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,998 Wha...? I'm gonna go ahead 359 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,033 and not give you my number. 360 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,335 I'm gonna give you something even better. 361 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,937 Wow, right to the chase. 362 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,438 Meet you in aisle six. 363 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,207 I'm gonna give you this. Okay. 364 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,943 It's gonna be okay. 365 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,211 You're a good guy. 366 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,380 You will get through this. 367 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,052 Uh, okay. 368 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,020 Weirdo alert. 369 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,255 (chuckles) 370 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,757 (scoffs) 371 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,960 Have you met...? 372 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,361 (groans) 373 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,662 Excuse me. 374 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,101 What do you mean "sad"? 375 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,435 HAMMOND DRUTHERS: Ted? 376 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,237 I'm calling you from Chicago, Illinois 377 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,073 where I'm a key player 378 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,308 in a very successful architectural firm. 379 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,742 Oh, yeah, I read about that. 380 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,144 All right, about what you read... 381 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,113 You built that big concave glass tower. 382 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,948 And it melted a few buildings across the street. 383 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,150 Yes, fine, but come on. 384 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,652 What architect has made a major design flaw 385 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,721 that raised the temperature of the city aquarium 386 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,822 to 190 degrees 387 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,158 and killed thousands of very rare fish? 388 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,095 That's the past, Ted. I'm looking forward. 389 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,063 I want you on my team. 390 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,065 And I won't take no for an answer. 391 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:35,135 No. I don't think you heard me, Ted. 392 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,137 No. Come on, Ted! 393 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,638 Please? 394 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,974 They're gonna give me a parking spot if you say yes. 395 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,110 Do I get a parking spot? Well, we can go tandem. 396 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,777 No. Every other week then? 397 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,447 No. You know, Chicago's more of a walking town. 398 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,116 No. All right! 399 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,118 You can have the parking spot. 400 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:51,985 So, that's a yes? 401 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,187 Mm, no. Look, Ted. 402 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:57,824 I can make your life very difficult. 403 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,193 How? How?! 404 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,664 I will call you a lot. 405 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,866 I will Tweet at you like crazy. 406 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:10,170 I will live on your Facebook wall! 407 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,171 We're not Facebook friends. 408 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,672 Yeah, what's going on with that? 409 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,375 It's been pending, like, for eight months now. 410 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,045 Look, Ted, you're a... 411 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,947 a very hot commodity. 412 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,617 Everybody loves the GNB Tower. 413 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,453 And how it hasn't blinded any pilots 414 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,521 on final approach into O'Hare. 415 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,456 (laughs) 416 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,957 And I-I may have told 417 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,659 the partners here that you and I are 418 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,061 very, very good friends. 419 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,463 So, please, just say that you'll think about it. 420 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,697 Fine. 421 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,566 I'll think about it. 422 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,001 Druthers shoots, he scores! 423 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:45,838 Sad? Lady, I got 14 girls' numbers in the last hour. 424 00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,007 And this was an off night. (chuckles) 425 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,143 What can I possibly be sad about? 426 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,779 I think you were in love and you messed it up. 427 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,049 And every moment of your life since then 428 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,186 has been spent trying to stay busy enough to ignore that fact. 429 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,021 NARRATOR: And that's how Barney met your mother. 430 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,060 Well, the Generals lost. 431 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,328 What a nail biter-- the whole fourth quarter 432 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,896 my heart was in my throat. 433 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,098 What was the final? 434 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,165 216 to 12. 435 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,533 Nobody talk to me right now, I can't even... 436 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,604 The strangest thing happened at the game. 437 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,506 I got a phone call from an unknown number. 438 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,074 And when I answered I... 439 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,076 You're eating olives. 440 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,677 Yup. 441 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,678 Do you want these? 442 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,013 I hate olives. 443 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,848 I... thought you hate olives. 444 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,284 (laughs) I guess I changed my mind. 445 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,586 (phone ringing) 446 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:34,721 Ah! 447 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,223 Hello, partner! 448 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:39,058 Boy, that just sounds right, doesn't it? 449 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,528 Yeah, actually, Mr. Druthers. 450 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,196 My answer is no. 451 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,099 What? No, Ted, come on! 452 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:50,036 I'm sorry, I still have things to do here in New York. 453 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,071 I am going to build a tower of glass 454 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,241 and melt you with it! 455 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:57,043 No, you won't. No, I won't, but know this. 456 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,445 After today 457 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,113 this offer 458 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,448 is gone forever. 459 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,317 When I hang up this phone, you and I are done. 460 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:07,086 The door is closed! Okay. 461 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,255 The door's always open, Ted. 462 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,922 If you change your mind, just call me back, okay? 463 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,991 Bye. 464 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:15,061 I think he's coming around. 465 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,829 We tried dating a while back 466 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,931 and it was a disaster. 467 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,268 But I-I always regret giving up. 468 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,603 It just ended so quickly. 469 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:24,671 (quiet laugh) 470 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,106 What about you? 471 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,176 You and your boyfriend gonna go the distance? 472 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,943 I don't know. 473 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:34,181 I think maybe I still haven't met the right guy. 474 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,183 Hmm. 475 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,485 I wonder if I know someone to set you up with. 476 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:44,657 Drawing a blank. 477 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,259 Are you gonna go get this girl? 478 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,360 Or what? 479 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,795 I don't know. 480 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,763 I'm kind of at my peak right now. 481 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,500 I don't know if I can just walk away from the game. 482 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,136 Do you want to keep playing or do you want to win? 483 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,209 I want to win. 484 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,178 What am I doing? 485 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:07,314 In less than 20 minutes, Robin and I could be... 486 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,648 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 487 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,049 It's gonna take a lot more than 20 minutes. 488 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,186 This is gonna take everything you have got. 489 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,822 This is gonna take all of your time, all of your attention. 490 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,357 All of your resources. 491 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,159 This is the big one. 492 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,729 Diaper man. 493 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,331 You got to do it right. 494 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,565 Can't be messing around, 495 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,567 picking up girls in drug stores. 496 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,968 * It's only time 497 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,403 You got work to do. 498 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,139 * It's only time * 499 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,576 * It's only time 500 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:41,080 * What could stop... 501 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,216 We're not platonic. 502 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,751 Platon-ish, maybe. 503 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:45,885 If that's even a word. 504 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,420 But not platonic. 505 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,856 * It's only time... 506 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,924 I mean, there's something between us. 507 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,561 And there always will be. 508 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,031 * If rain won't... 509 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,167 If this was eight years ago, 510 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,002 I'd be jumping into a cab right now 511 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,737 to go steal that blue French horn. 512 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,172 Well, why don't you? 513 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,407 I don't know. 514 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,243 Just doesn't seem to work that way anymore. 515 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:13,513 I used to be in such a hurry all the time, you know? 516 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,014 Everything was so urgent. 517 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,217 Now, I just, I don't know, I figure... 518 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,787 it's gonna happen, it'll happen when it happens. 519 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:24,023 I'm not going anywhere, she's not going anywhere. 520 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,358 What's the rush, right? 521 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,360 * And swim your sea * 522 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,196 * And swim 523 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,099 * Your sea 524 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,104 * Marry me 525 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,972 I have no idea who that girl was. 526 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,442 But she set me straight. 527 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:46,379 After that, I had one challenge and one challenge only. 528 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,247 Get Robin Scherbatsky 529 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,817 to fall in love with me. 530 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:54,787 Challenge completed. 531 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:58,224 * Why would I stop loving you a hundred years from now? * 532 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,466 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org