1 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,238 NARRATOR: In 1994, Robin's dad took her to New York City 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:05,673 for the first time... 3 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,008 This is amazing! Thank you, sir! 4 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,844 Well, a little father-son bonding trip never hurt anyone. 5 00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,547 I-I did almost die from malnutrition 6 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,183 on that wolf hunt last year... 7 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,185 I had to almost kill you 8 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,552 for you to learn how to kill. 9 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:21,422 (sighs happily) New York City's the best, eh? 10 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:22,856 I despise it. It's like Edmonton, 11 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,658 minus the arts and culture. 12 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,926 Come on, we'll miss our flight. 13 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,261 I'll catch up. 14 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:32,066 One day, I'm gonna move here, 15 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,069 marry a sophisticated big-city man 16 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:37,205 with a sick mullet-- 17 00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,208 like all the way down to his shoulder pads, 18 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,209 and at night, 19 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,777 he'll let me brush it... 20 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:47,748 and I'll dig up this locket 21 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:52,052 so it can be my "something old" at our wedding. 22 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,021 ROBIN SENIOR: R.J.! 23 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,123 Coming, sir! 24 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,559 (whispering): I'll be back for you. 25 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,896 Back then, I was... 26 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,732 I was too embarrassed to tell you I'd done that... 27 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:05,733 but we're closer now. 28 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,101 (phone ringing) 29 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,069 I feel like I don't have to hide my feminine side anymore 30 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,238 just because you've always wanted a... 31 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,140 Son! It's Barney! 32 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,807 Great! 33 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,443 I'll be there in 15, B-dawg. 34 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,744 Woof, woof! 35 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,280 (laughs) 36 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,781 That's our thing. 37 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,450 Uh... be where in 15? 38 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,584 Laser tag. 39 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,286 Never been. B-dawg's gonna teach me. 40 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,922 Look, I-I think that it's great that you and Barney are... 41 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:29,657 B-dawg. 42 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,326 ...B-dawg are bonding, 43 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,995 but, um... you agreed to help me with this. 44 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,564 Fine. 45 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,432 Where did you bury this tampon? 46 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:39,467 It's a locket. 47 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,468 I'm sorry, I get all these 48 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:43,003 girlie things confused. 49 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,139 Do you need my help or not? 50 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,409 Nah, it's stupid. 51 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,278 (laughs) 52 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,746 NARRATOR: So while Robin searched for her something old, 53 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,948 Lily and Marshall packed for their something new: 54 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,151 Lily's year-long art consultant gig in Italy. 55 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,253 I still can't believe 56 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,189 we have to say goodbye to this place... 57 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,157 Oh. I know, baby. 58 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:05,759 But look at it as an excuse to simplify our lives. 59 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,328 You know, we can't bring everything to Italy, 60 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,929 so we gotta throw out some junk. 61 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,365 For example, look... 62 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:12,933 my old Sasquatch binders 63 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,035 that "I could never throw away" 64 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,804 because "I was gonna be the guy 65 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,372 who proved the existence of Bigfoot..." 66 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,673 These are obviously coming to Italy. 67 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,008 But these handbags? 68 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,009 Gonzo. 69 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,311 No way! 70 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,280 These have sentimental meaning to me. 71 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,115 Didn't you shop-lift these in your 20s? 72 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,718 Yes, and I get very nostalgic for that time. 73 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:34,021 You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing, it's sad. 74 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,155 Lily... 75 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,524 we just don't have room for these. 76 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,727 Oh, but you get to keep your Bigfoot binders? 77 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,030 Wait, why is this one just December 1999? 78 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,699 Oh. Y2K was coming. 79 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,736 Lot of people took to the woods. 80 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,471 Saw the truth. 81 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,807 Okay, Marshall, we don't have time to argue 82 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,509 over what stays and what goes. 83 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,711 Ooh, you know who we gotta bring in? 84 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,581 Okay, I agree he is good at this stuff, 85 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,650 but he just gets so cocky. 86 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,784 No, he doesn't. 87 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,823 So I heard you guys have a bit of a... 88 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,192 packing situation. 89 00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:14,595 I acknowledge now this was a mistake. 90 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,931 Look, I came here to chew bubblegum and pack boxes. 91 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,668 And I'm all out of bubble... (gulps, chokes) 92 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,736 (coughing): Oh, my God.... Oh, my God. 93 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,105 I swallowed it. 94 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,740 Is that bad? 95 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,208 Okay, thank you. 96 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,177 Well, Dr. Goldsmith says I should be fine. 97 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,645 I just have to look for it in my stool. 98 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,215 So as I was saying... 99 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,217 I heard you guys have a bit of a... 100 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,820 packing situation. 101 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,468 Now, as you know, 102 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,805 I'm a bit of a legend when it comes to packing. 103 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,440 We know. We know. 104 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,275 Tales are still told 105 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,677 of the time I traveled all through Spain... 106 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,315 ...for two weeks... 107 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,651 ...with everything I needed 108 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,388 efficiently packed into a hands-free belt satchel. 109 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,023 The locals called me... 110 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,933 Yeah, it's not a "hands-free belt satchel," Ted. 111 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:26,934 It's a fanny pack. 112 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,669 It's not a fanny pack. 113 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,805 In Spanish, El Ganso con la Riñonera 114 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,507 means "Fanny Pack Dork." 115 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:34,675 No, it doesn't. 116 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,110 It means "Packer of Great Skill and Merit." 117 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,446 NARRATOR: I looked it up. 118 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,514 It means "Fanny Pack Dork." 119 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:43,517 And as a Packer of Great Skill and Merit, 120 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:47,154 I will tell you how to pack with Tetris-like precision. 121 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,490 We get it, you pack a lot in your fanny. 122 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,124 Obvious yet delightful. 123 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,125 TED: Okay. 124 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,827 I got a big interview at 3:00 125 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,162 about possibly designing another building. 126 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,098 Until then, if you abide by my rulings, 127 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,100 I will tell you what goes to Italy 128 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:04,004 and what goes in... The Triangle. 129 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,607 NARRATOR: Kids, as you know, "The Bermuda Triangle" 130 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,141 was the name we gave to the curb 131 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,443 right outside our apartment, 132 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,012 which possessed the magical ability 133 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,448 to make any item disappear. 134 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,649 Instantly. 135 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,951 The biggest rule for de-cluttering is, 136 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,821 "Have you used it in the last year?" 137 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,190 If not... Triangle. 138 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,060 Have you used this jump rope in the last year? 139 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,128 (scoffs) Are you kidding? 140 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,163 I hop threads every morning, son! 141 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,999 Do three in a row and you can keep it. 142 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,003 Well-played, Mosby. 143 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,372 Next! 144 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,909 Have you used it in the last year? 145 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,012 Gee, I can't remember. 146 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,617 Are you trying to bribe me? 147 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,219 I don't know what you're talking about. 148 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,353 (coughing): Take it. 149 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,422 Triangle! 150 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,523 (whimpers) 151 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,557 Next! 152 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,993 (laughing) 153 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,896 Wow, you're a natural... Dad. 154 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,198 You know, I love Robin. 155 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,034 And her sister's okay, I guess. 156 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:10,438 But there's something nice about finally having... 157 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,705 a son. 158 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:13,240 A s... 159 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,943 (choked up): I... 160 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,044 Cristalli twins, nine o'clock! 161 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,380 (Barney laughs evilly) 162 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,382 Now make like your mommy's ovum and split! 163 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,383 (laughs) 164 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,019 Solid biology joke, B-dawg. 165 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,087 BOTH: Woof, woof! 166 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,255 (laughs) 167 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,590 NARRATOR: Now, I'll admit, 168 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,591 to the untrained eye, 169 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,125 a few of my packing rulings 170 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,026 may have seemed arbitrary. 171 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,663 Let's Go Italy? Triangle. 172 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,798 Triangle... 173 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:38,832 let's go Italy. 174 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,437 A gorilla suit and a blonde wig. 175 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,072 Have you used either of these in the last year? 176 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,777 (grunting) 177 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,479 (silly high-pitched voice): Please, Queen Kong... 178 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,013 be gentle. 179 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,282 (growling) 180 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,717 Nope, haven't used those. 181 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,018 I don't think those even belong to us. 182 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,154 Okay, here's an easy one. 183 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:04,792 A leaky, ten-year-old beanbag chair 184 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,994 covered in beer, bong water 185 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,397 and fossilized Cool Ranch Dorito fingerprints. 186 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,398 Italy. 187 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,934 Vieni ancora per Fudge Grande? 188 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,303 Guys, this chair has been here forever. 189 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,738 You gotta take it with you. 190 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,272 Italy. MARSHALL: Ted... 191 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,509 Italy doesn't need something that is wrinkled, 192 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,010 red and leaky, 193 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,412 and smells like booze and narcotics. 194 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,015 They've already got former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. 195 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,416 (laughs) 196 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,151 I don't know who that is. 197 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,521 All rulings are final. 198 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,857 Okay, why are things that we like getting "Triangled" 199 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,527 and crap you like sneaks through? Like what? 200 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,795 That old 50-pound karaoke machine. 201 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:42,996 Come on! 202 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,364 We sang in the New Year in '02 203 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,633 on this thing, remember? 204 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,367 We were Destiny's Child! 205 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,271 And since I was Beyonce , 206 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,340 I'm pretty sure I get final say here, so... 207 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,442 Oh, we were not your backup singers, bitch, 208 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,677 we were a group. 209 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,046 I'm sorry, are you guys married to Jay-Z, 210 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,214 or am I married to Jay-Z? 211 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,150 Italy. 212 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,618 (feedback squeals) 213 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,653 (laser guns firing) 214 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,555 (grunting) Wow. 215 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,657 The way you used that kid having an asthma attack 216 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,624 as a human shield? 217 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,225 That took my breath away. 218 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,961 Yeah. Okay, next, 219 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,996 I'll be point guy and you lay down cover. 220 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,197 So I'm... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... 221 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,132 are you suggesting that I will not be point guy? 222 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,233 (laughs) 223 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,069 Look, if Michael Jordan's healthy, 224 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,071 you don't let Scottie Pippen run the offense. 225 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,140 Oh, you're from Canada, right. 226 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,976 If... how do I put this? 227 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,344 If Wayne Gretzky's healthy, you don't let... 228 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,980 uh... 229 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,347 François... 230 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:38,852 What I'm saying is: hockey is stupid and I'm point guy. 231 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,988 Well, I'm point guy or I'm off the team. 232 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,091 Gah! You are the most stubborn human being I have ever met! 233 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,158 You better get used to it... 234 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,159 you're marrying a Scherbatsky. 235 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,896 Your daughter is not even a fraction 236 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:53,033 as obstinate, stubborn and... insane as you are! 237 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:56,103 Where are you, you son of a bitch?! 238 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,872 Look away, kids, she's about to pee. 239 00:08:58,906 --> 00:08:59,873 What...? 240 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,408 I am not some animal. 241 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,010 I peed 20 minutes ago 242 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,145 and I buried it neatly because I am a lady! 243 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,955 Ted, we haven't used this chair in the last year. 244 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,257 Ergo, Triangle. 245 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,059 Yeah, I guess I see your point. 246 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,762 I mean, if you haven't used it in the last year... 247 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,130 Oh! (laughs) 248 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,097 Using it! 249 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,098 Italy! 250 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,533 Triangle! 251 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,201 Italy. 252 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,236 Triangle! Triangle! 253 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,237 Italy. 254 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,204 Okay, stop! 255 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,305 Every time he lands, 256 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,708 that chair farts out ten-year-old Dorito dust. 257 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,944 Yeah, it's the chair. 258 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,913 Guys, trust me: you're gonna want this chair in Italy. 259 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,082 I... it'll feel like home. 260 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,117 All right, buddy. 261 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,754 You win. Italy. 262 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,321 Really? Yeah. 263 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,057 We asked you to be the judge here 264 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,059 and we gotta trust your opinion. 265 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,093 She's right. 266 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,227 And with all the traveling 267 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,729 that we'll be doing... 268 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,798 we could probably use a couple of your... 269 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,532 hands-free belt satchels. 270 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,002 You said they were lame. 271 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,503 I hate to admit it, 272 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,406 but they actually sound useful. 273 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,809 Could you buy us a couple? 274 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,579 Two hands-free belt satchels, coming right up. 275 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,614 Oh, and don't worry, I'll get cool colors 276 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,083 so you guys don't look like 277 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,385 whatever the Spanish term really is for "Fanny Pack Dork." 278 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:29,062 Men, it's us... versus them. 279 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,166 Our actions here today 280 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,035 will echo through eternity... 281 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,704 Stand up straight, Kaden! 282 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,074 I only have one rule, you worthless maggots: 283 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,044 We all respect each other. 284 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,046 I only have one rule: 285 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,481 For every three tens you bang, 286 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,983 throw a bone to a five. 287 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,385 They're grateful and hard-working and let's face it, 288 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,154 sometimes you just want to lay there. 289 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,156 What's that got to do with Laser Tag? 290 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:02,529 Everything! 291 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,831 ...and we will prevail, 292 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,833 even if it takes all night! 293 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,500 Tanner. 294 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,569 I have to be home by 4:00. 295 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,973 (ray gun zapping) 296 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,375 Anyone else have any scheduling issues? 297 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,310 You can take down anyone on their team... 298 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,847 but I want the big man for myself. 299 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,049 What's your beef with oldie? 300 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,384 He's... 301 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,585 my father. 302 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,586 Father-in-law. 303 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:27,755 Shut up, Kai. 304 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,162 Wait a second... 305 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,564 We get it, you pack a lot in your fanny. 306 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,067 Obvious yet delightful. 307 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,601 Oh, no! 308 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:50,210 No! 309 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,713 El Ganso! El Ganso! 310 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,948 Liars! 311 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,516 You sent me on a fool's errand. 312 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,018 Okay, to be fair, 313 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,520 buying a fanny pack is inherently a fool's errand. 314 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,790 Hands-free belt satchels. 315 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,958 And just for that, I will not move from this chair 316 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,259 until you agree to keep it! 317 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,028 Ted, unlike that chair, 318 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,430 you, sir, are full of beans. 319 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,065 You have a job interview in half an hour. 320 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:14,968 Screw the interview. 321 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,103 I'm staying. 322 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:20,640 And because the forecast calls for rain... 323 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,575 This... is a raincoat. 324 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:25,913 (groans) 325 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,080 (sighs) 326 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,453 Go for Barney. 327 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,923 Hey. Um... 328 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,057 I'm having an issue. 329 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,425 Now, listen, Robin... 330 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,160 is this urgent or can we talk about it later? 331 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:43,163 Nah, it's stupid. 332 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,899 Have fun. 333 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,734 (laughing) 334 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,302 So long, losers! 335 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,104 (laughing) 336 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,406 Um... 337 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,175 Look, can you guys help me down? 338 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,077 I... um... 339 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,479 Ted, if this chair really means that much to you, 340 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,314 why don't you just take it for yourself? 341 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,917 No, it's important that you keep it. 342 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,085 Why? 343 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,954 This is the first thing we bought 344 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,321 when we moved here after college. 345 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,691 It was the only piece of furniture we had for a week. 346 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,126 And now you two are 347 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,594 moving to Italy. 348 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,996 What if our friendship doesn't pass 349 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,031 the "Have you used it in a year" test? 350 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:21,034 If you can throw out this chair... 351 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,803 who's to say you can't throw me out, too? 352 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,305 That could never happen. 353 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,374 You're not a chair, you're our best friend. 354 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,110 You can say that, but a lot can change in a year. 355 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,145 Buddy, I... 356 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,213 Look, I know I'm being crazy. 357 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,016 I just... 358 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,385 I just need a moment with this chair. 359 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,553 You know... to say good-bye. 360 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,223 We'll give you two some space. 361 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,829 NARRATOR: Kids, you can't cling to the past. 362 00:13:56,203 --> 00:14:00,207 Because no matter how tightly you hold on... 363 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,676 ...it's already gone. 364 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,249 Hello? 365 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,517 Hi. 366 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,820 I'm at the Central Park Carousel and, um... 367 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,989 I'm having a little bit of an issue. 368 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,590 Uh, what kind of issue? 369 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,493 Actually, it's a long story... 370 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,395 Um, Robin, listen, I'm-I'm late for a big meeting. 371 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,430 Is it important? 372 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,167 Nah, it's stupid. 373 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,568 Good luck. 374 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,072 All right, here's the bottom line, cockroaches. 375 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,840 There's no end in sight 376 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,543 and we've got no provisions. 377 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,911 If it comes down to it, 378 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:41,048 I need a volunteer to let the rest of us... 379 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,182 eat him. 380 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,117 Barney's team seems way more fun. 381 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:44,952 Nonsense. 382 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,619 Candy for everyone! 383 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,055 (kids whooping) 384 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,223 Okay, Team Animal House... who wants to try a cigar? 385 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,891 Yeah! Yay! (laughs) 386 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,961 I'm not saying we're gonna start with your face or anything, 387 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,595 but is there seriously no one here 388 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,697 willing to give up a hand or a foot? 389 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,898 We're outta here! 390 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,257 Ted, why are you here? 391 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,293 You had that meeting; I told you not to come. 392 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,128 You said, "Nah, it's stupid," 393 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,998 which is Robin-ese for, "It's important." 394 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,299 Everyone knows that. 395 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,004 Well... not everyone. 396 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,739 But you shouldn't have skipped that meeting. 397 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,940 Was it important? 398 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,310 Nah, it's stupid. 399 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,114 And yet, my future husband-- 400 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,816 who I sometimes fear is troublingly similar 401 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,619 to my emotionally unavailable father-- 402 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,688 is off shooting laser guns with, oh, yeah, you guessed it: 403 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,757 my emotionally unavailable father. 404 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,992 Oh, come on, that's not fair. 405 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,660 If you told Barney that you needed him, 406 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,029 he'd be here in a heartbeat. 407 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,031 I didn't have to tell you. 408 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,199 And you're here. 409 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,002 You don't even know why. 410 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:14,174 Seems like I'm here to dig. 411 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,311 (kids' ray guns zapping) 412 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,921 Looking for "D"s? 413 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,126 Long story short, I promised my future self 414 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,828 the locket would be my "something old" at my wedding. 415 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,065 What? 416 00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,400 No, I just like that there was 417 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,834 ever a version of you 418 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,171 who imagined having a "something old" at your wedding. 419 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,807 Robin Scherbatsky-- you're a girl. 420 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,008 Shut up. You're a girl. 421 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,177 That's been established. 422 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,012 The new information here is that you're a girl. 423 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,517 Wait... is that...? 424 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,752 Oh, my God, I found it. 425 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:00,853 (sighs, laughs) 426 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,058 Okay... 427 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,726 what's really going on with this locket? 428 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,496 (sighs) 429 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,997 I'm gonna admit something that I couldn't admit 430 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,232 until I found this. 431 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,035 I've been having fears about marrying Barney. 432 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,838 I mean, in many ways, 433 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,908 he's-he's grown up into a mature, caring adult... 434 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,611 I'm gonna shoot you with your own gun. 435 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,046 (laughs manically) 436 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,449 ...but I still don't know if he's ready for this. 437 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,086 I still don't know if I am. 438 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,123 But if I could find this locket-- 439 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,958 if it was still here, waiting for me-- 440 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,760 that would mean that the Universe 441 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,195 wanted me to marry Barney. 442 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,063 And that everything was gonna be okay. 443 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,235 And when it was gone, it was like... 444 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:52,071 every doubt I-I ever had about Barney, 445 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,674 about myself, got dug up. 446 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,277 But I found it. (laughs) 447 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,113 And everything's gonna be okay. 448 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,318 Any last words? 449 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,254 You know, seeing you on the field of battle-- 450 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:10,590 ruthless, manipulative, untrustworthy-- 451 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,493 you've got all the qualities I would've wanted in a son. 452 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,596 Now I say to you 453 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,831 the last words my father said to me: 454 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,833 "Shoot me already." 455 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:25,405 Or we could keep playing, if you want. 456 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,007 Nah, it's stupid. 457 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,578 Okay, Team Animal House, I got him! 458 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,779 Come on out! 459 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,181 You're point guy, R-dawg. 460 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,249 BOTH: Woof, woof. 461 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,518 (ray guns zapping) 462 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:40,953 (phone blips) 463 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,438 (phone blips) 464 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,573 Oh, thank God. 465 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,387 This is a sign from the Universe. 466 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,955 It's not a sign from the Universe... 467 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:16,956 Yes, it is! 468 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,391 The-the locket is just gone 469 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,393 and you're telling me that doesn't mean anything? 470 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:24,130 You know this is a bad omen, Ted-- you're Universe Guy! 471 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,365 And you're Skeptic Girl! 472 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,799 You're-you're not supposed to believe any of that. 473 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,436 Well, maybe I've grown skeptical of being skeptical. 474 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,372 (voice breaking): This is a sign. 475 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,640 Look, it's not a sign. 476 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,908 You're doing the right thing marrying Barney. 477 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,511 The Universe isn't sending you some message. 478 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,112 (thunder crashes) 479 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,250 As we know from science, 480 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:47,019 rain is liquid water in the form of droplets 481 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,422 which have condensed from atmospheric vapor 482 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,857 and then precipitated. 483 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:51,858 It's not a sign. 484 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:55,094 Ted, this is a sign and you know it. 485 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,665 I mean, the Universe is screaming at me right now! 486 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,166 How-how-how can you, of all people, 487 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,168 tell me to ignore that? 488 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,438 Because maybe it's dumb to look for "signs from the Universe." 489 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,207 I mean, maybe the Universe has better things to do. 490 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,042 Dear God, I hope it does. 491 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,878 Do you know how many "signs" I've gotten 492 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,946 that I should or shouldn't be with someone? 493 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,715 And where has it gotten me? 494 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,285 Maybe there aren't any signs. 495 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,187 Maybe... maybe a locket's just a locket, 496 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,923 a chair is just a chair. 497 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,024 Maybe we don't have to 498 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,428 give meaning to every little thing. 499 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,630 Maybe we don't... 500 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,532 maybe we don't need the Universe 501 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,134 to tell us what we really want. 502 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,605 Maybe we already know that, deep down. 503 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,641 * Sharpen them with lies 504 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:51,117 * And whatever's going down 505 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:58,558 * Will follow you around 506 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,594 * That's how you fight loneliness... *