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NARRATOR:
Kids, in April of 2013,

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00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:05,639
your mother and I were
very close

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00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,241
and yet very far apart.

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I was living on
West 82nd Street.

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She was up on West 115th.

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She was getting
a degree in economics.

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I was teaching architecture.

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I was always at MacLaren's.

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She was always...

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not spending
all her time in a bar.

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She was dating some
finance guy named Louis.

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And I...

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I was alone.

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Ted, get ready
to be surrounded by

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half-naked,
grease-covered bodies.

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And by grease,
I mean motor grease.

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We're going to
Robots vs. Wrestlers!

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NARRATOR:
Kids, you remember
Robots vs. Wrestlers.

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Forget everything
you remember

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00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,679
about Robots
vs. Wrestlers.

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This is Robots vs. Wrestlers:
"Legends."

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Elderly wrestlers
fighting old-timey robots

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in a wheelchair-accessible
wrestling ring.

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Why are we still sitting here?

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I got a big lecture tomorrow.

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Think I'm gonna
take it easy tonight.

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Ted, trust me,
20 years from now,

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00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,433
you'll be glad you saw
Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends.

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I can't imagine
a world where that's possible.

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I'm serious.

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20 years from now,

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when my 26-year-old third wife
asks me about this...

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You make a lot of those jokes.

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I'm gonna say,

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"Yeah, it was awesome,
but you know the funny thing?

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Ted almost didn't go."
Hmm.

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"But thank God he did,
because it was a great night."

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And then she
and I will

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adjourn to the Jacuzzi,

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where my fourth wife
will be waiting for us,

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already warming herself
up on the jets.

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Oh, Robin's here--
I'll tell you the rest later.

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Please do,
that story could go anywhere.

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Mwah.

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Hey, hello.
Hey.

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Here we are
at the bar

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once more.

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"What will I have to drink?"
you ask.

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Hmm.

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Minnesota Tidal Wave.

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"What's that?" you ask.

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Only the best cocktail ever.

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"Who invented it?" you ask.

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Me.

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And it's not
a girly drink.

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Lily, why would
you even say that?

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(scoffing):
Girly drink.

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Hey, I am the least
girly girl on Earth,

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and I love
the Minnesota Tidal Wave.

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Thank you, Robin.

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Matter of fact,
I'm going to go order one

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right now
with my head held high.

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Lily.

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You want me to
order it for you?

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Yes, please,
thank you, baby.

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Ted, let me tell you
the secret to life.

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00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,131
Hmm.

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Every time I make a decision
about what to do

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on a given night, I ask myself,

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"What would make the best memory
20 years from now?"

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So I let 20-Years-From-Now-
Barney call the shots.

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And it always works out.

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And 20-Years-From-Now-Barney

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thinks we should go
to Robots vs. Wrestlers?

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I don't know.

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Let's ask him.

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Close your eyes, Ted.

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(sighs)

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Okay, now open them.

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Barney, I swear to God,

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if I open my eyes
and your bare ass

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is an inch away
from my face again...

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Just open your eyes.

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(whooshing)

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Ted, I'd like you to meet
20-Years-From-Now-Barney.

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20-Years-From-Now-Barney,
you remember Ted.

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'Sup?

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Hey, Ted.

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What's this
I hear-slash-remember

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about you not wanting to
see Robots vs. Wrestlers?

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00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,024
Yeah, it's just that I
don't want to see it.

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You don't...
I know.

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He doesn't...
I know.

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(stammering)

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Ted, trust us,
it's gonna be legend--

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wait 20 years for it...

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...dary!

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Legendary!
Legendary!

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Okay, uh,
I'm gonna go home.

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No, Ted, look.
Come on!

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If you don't
believe that

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Robots vs. Wrestlers

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is gonna be
a life-changing event,

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maybe you'll believe
20-Years-From-Now-Ted.

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(whooshing)

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Whoa.

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'Sup?

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Wow.

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Wow, so many
things all at once.

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But most
importantly...

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I don't go bald?

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Nope.

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And neither do I.

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Eeh...

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Ted, listen to me.

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You, listen to you.

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Me.

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You got to go to Robots
vs. Wrestlers: Legends.

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Trust me,
you will regret it if you don't.

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So, what,
do I go bald or something?

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Is that a toupee?

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Ted,

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scalp check!
Can't Robin do this?

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Come on, you've been
doing it for years.

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You know the frame
of reference.

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Scalp check!

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Hmm, that's odd.

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Little early in the week
for scalp check.

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Five tablespoons of sugar,

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a whisper
of vanilla vodka

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and you're done.

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(fake coughs):
Maraschino cherries.

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Oh, and a handful of
maraschino cherries on top.

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Wait, you're ordering
a Robin Scherbatsky.

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Why didn't you just say that?

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(chuckles)

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One second
there, barkeep.

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Unless I'm mistaken,

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the drink this
lady just ordered

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is called the
Minnesota Tidal Wave.

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Origin unknown.

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Oh, well, you know, Robin's been
ordering them so much lately

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that we named it after her.

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You named a drink after me?

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Right there in the menu.

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Congrats.

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I can't drink this.

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That's better.

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I'm still seething,
but that's better.

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(mouthing)

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Okay,
20-Years-From-Now-Me,

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level with me.

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You. Us.

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Is Robots vs.
Wrestlers worth it?

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It was the single
greatest night of my life.

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Even greater
than your wedding?

157
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Well, I mean,
when I get married,

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that'll be the
greatest night of my life.

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00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,217
But who knows when
that's going to happen?

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Oh, my God, you
still haven't...

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Man, I hope
I meet her soon.

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Oh, God, what is
wrong with me?!

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(laughing):
I'm sorry!

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I'm just messing
with you!

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Now, come on, are
we going or what?

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Fine, let's go.

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Yeah!

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Not so fast.

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Barney, Ted,
20-Years-From-Now-Barney,

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20-Years-From-Now-Ted.

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Who are you?

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I'm 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted.

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And you bastards
aren't going anywhere.

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So, you're the Ted
from 20 hours from now?

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Shh.

176
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Just... shh.

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You okay?

178
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No, I'm not okay.

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This dummy's about to go
to Robots vs. Wrestlers--

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and yes, it'll be awesome...

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00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,831
See?

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00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,898
...at first.

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00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,500
But then
you're gonna drink way too much,

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hence the headache.

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Then you're gonna
jump into the ring

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and sprain your wrist,
hence the splint.

187
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,173
And then afterwards,
you're gonna smoke

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half a pack of cigarettes,
hence the...

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(coughing)

190
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Well, that's the sound
of a good time.

191
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And 20 hours from now,
when you're me,

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you're gonna want
to come back here,

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00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,751
right to this very spot,
right now,

194
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,218
and smack yourself
upside the head.

195
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,754
Yeah, but obviously
I wouldn't do that

196
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,021
'cause I'd only be
smacking myself--

197
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Ow!

198
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,926
Don't do this to me, Ted.
Don't do this to us.

199
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,795
Don't listen to yourself,
Present-Day-Ted.

200
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:38,031
It's a day of pain
for a lifetime of memories.

201
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,600
20-Hours-From-Now-Me,

202
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,703
just tell me one
thing: do I hurl?

203
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,905
Yeah, kid.

204
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,440
You hurl.

205
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,608
A lot?

206
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,309
Remember when Mom

207
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,712
bought the beef
from the Price Club?

208
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,881
Okay, how about this:

209
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,116
we go to
Robots vs. Wrestlers,

210
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,919
but I don't
drink too much?

211
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,087
Interesting.

212
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,154
I'm good with that.

213
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,456
No, forget it.

214
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,957
If Ted
doesn't get wasted,

215
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,459
there's no way
he'll end up making out

216
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:08,095
with that surprisingly
realistic-looking female robot.

217
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,963
Wait, I kiss
a female robot?

218
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,298
Oh, you do a lot
more than that.

219
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:14,502
Now, look, nobody is
saying you need alcohol

220
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,504
to have an exciting
and memorable night.

221
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,572
(all agreeing)
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.

222
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,308
But in this case, yeah,
you kind of have to be wasted.

223
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,611
(all agreeing,
overlapping chatter)

224
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,145
You drink beers
in cans still.

225
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,814
It makes the robot scarier.

226
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,517
They named
my drink after her.

227
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,918
The Minnesota Tidal Wave.

228
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,019
It's my usual.

229
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,353
Immaterial!

230
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,155
If it's gonna be named
after anybody,

231
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,857
it should be called
The Marshall Eriksen.

232
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,959
Sorry, it's
The Robin Scherbatsky.

233
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,160
Read it and weep.

234
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,662
Oh, so you're gonna
Zuckerberg me?

235
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,530
That it?

236
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,997
You're Zuckerberging me?

237
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:44,698
That's fine.

238
00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,433
I'll see you in court.

239
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,335
Little court known
as the dance floor.

240
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,003
Dance-off. Now.

241
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,104
No, no dancing.

242
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,873
Marshall,
we've been through this.

243
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,008
The doctor said your
dancer's hip is worse than ever.

244
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,877
You have to lay off dancing
for a while.

245
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,712
You're killing me, Lily!

246
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,781
You're killing me!

247
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,015
I'm an adult.

248
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,483
You have to let me dance
my own battles.

249
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,118
Marshall, there's not gonna be
a dance-off

250
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,386
because the name is staying.

251
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,856
Period, end of story.

252
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:12,025
I just like having
my name on something.

253
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,160
Oh, you do?

254
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,295
Oh, that's great, Robin.

255
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,297
Then that's what you will get.

256
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,466
That's...

257
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,468
what you...

258
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,704
will get.

259
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,908
Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm.

260
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,643
Oh, hey, Robin.

261
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,645
You here "for a good time"?

262
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,480
(whispers):
Classic.

263
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,015
Did you write my number
in the men's room?

264
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,350
It... (scoffs)
Well, I don't know.

265
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,086
I guess you'll never know
unless you go in there,

266
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,153
which I highly
doubt that...

267
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,354
There she goes.

268
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,056
Okay, boys.

269
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,626
Close your eyes
and zip your flies.

270
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,801
Hi. Don't mind me.

271
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,238
I don't think
you should have done that.

272
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,507
Lily, I know what I'm doing,
all right?

273
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,775
I'm a lawyer.

274
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,276
I've thought about
every possible scenario.

275
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,745
I'm ten steps ahead of...

276
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,949
Where's she going?

277
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,417
Probably into the ladies' room

278
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,085
to write something on the wall
about you.

279
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,386
Nobody writes things

280
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,755
on the walls
of the ladies' room.

281
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,289
Have you been
in the ladies' room?

282
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,891
Of course not.

283
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,728
Lily, I know that I have the
sexual charisma of a bad boy,

284
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,964
but I certainly don't have
the manners of one.

285
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,299
What'd you write in there?

286
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,301
Why don't you
go in and look?

287
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,638
You know I can't do that, Robin.

288
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,905
Lily, can you go look?

289
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,142
Oh, I thought you wanted
to dance your own battles.

290
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,912
Ladies,
put your blouses back on!

291
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,815
I'm coming in!

292
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,155
ROBIN:
Dear Marshall,

293
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,057
I know this is a strange way
to apologize,

294
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,393
but I'm sorry I let Carl
name your drink after me.

295
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,128
Why didn't I say something?

296
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,497
Gosh, I guess that goes back
to my childhood.

297
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,333
Okay, guys.

298
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,270
Let's go to
Robots vs. Wrestlers.

299
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,137
Huzzah!
Now you're talking!

300
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,005
Here we go.

301
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,406
Nope, sit down.

302
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,008
Everybody sit down.

303
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:08,976
Okay, who are you?

304
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,145
Hello, Ted, Barney,
20-Hours-From-Now-Ted,

305
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,981
20-Years-From-Now-Ted,
20-Years-From-Now-Barney.

306
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,683
Hey, how's it going?

307
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,517
Allow me to introduce myself.

308
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,853
I'm 20-Minutes-From-Now-Barney,

309
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,621
and I have got something
very important to...

310
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,656
(Barney scoffs)

311
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,858
What's the stain
on your shirt, bro?

312
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,960
Please, please, I really do have
something very important to...

313
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,028
(Barney laughs
mockingly)

314
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,163
You look stupid.

315
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,464
Here's your spaghetti.

316
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,000
And be careful...

317
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,336
...with the meatball.

318
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,008
ROBIN:
And that's the only time
my father

319
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,943
ever said he was proud of me.

320
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,779
Maybe that's why I stole credit
for your drink.

321
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,114
Maybe that's why

322
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,549
I needed to pour my heart out
like this.

323
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,185
Or, maybe I wrote this
so you'd be in here long enough

324
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,521
for a lady to walk in,
causing you to freak out

325
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,689
and hide in the stall.

326
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,024
(door opens)

327
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,425
So, you got a text message?
Yeah.

328
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,130
Whoa.

329
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,199
Try to get some
in your mouth next time.

330
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,301
20-MINUTES-FROM-NOW-BARNEY:
Okay, everybody, listen up.

331
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,469
When I walked in here,

332
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,038
I was 20-Minutes-
From-Now-Barney.

333
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,372
But that was 19 minutes

334
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,041
and some serious
acid reflux--

335
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,744
who orders spaghetti
at an Irish bar?-- ago.

336
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:17,978
Now,

337
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,546
I'm 20-Seconds-
From-Now-Barney,

338
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,581
and I'm telling you,
watch that door.

339
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:22,349
Why?

340
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,285
That's why.

341
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,722
Um, oh.

342
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:31,358
In-in, like,
12 seconds.

343
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,428
Your skin looks great.

344
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,064
Thanks.

345
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,099
And thank you for taking
such good care of it.

346
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,267
Shh.

347
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,135
That's why.

348
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,280
Who is that?

349
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,681
ALL:
She's the coat check girl

350
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,017
from that dance club
we went to seven years ago.

351
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,185
20-YEARS-FROM-NOW-TED:
You remember that night.

352
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,719
When Barney grinded
with his cousin.

353
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,589
Oh, man, you remember that
20 years from now?

354
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,624
He won't let anyone forget.

355
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,859
TED:
Coat check girl.

356
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,061
I always meant to go
back to that club

357
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,197
and get her number,
but I didn't.

358
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,399
And now she's here?

359
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,635
She's in this bar
seven years later?

360
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,637
I-I can't believe this.

361
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,873
So, wait, do you guys think
I should go talk to her?

362
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,441
Are you kidding me?
Yes, go...

363
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,609
How many different ways...
Idiot.

364
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,612
(high-pitched voice):
Hello?

365
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,448
Is anybody out there?

366
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:33,921
(whispers):
Sounds like the coast is clear.

367
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,956
(women screaming)

368
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,426
No, no, wait!

369
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,493
Please, it's not my fault!

370
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,829
I was tricked!

371
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,996
Not cool, Marshall.

372
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,631
This is a nice bar.

373
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,934
Girls come here, they just want
to relax with their friends,

374
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,002
maybe have
a few Robin Scherbatskys,

375
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,603
and not have to
worry about some guy

376
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,640
pulling a Marshall Eriksen
in the bathroom.

377
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,643
No, no, no, I know. I just...

378
00:12:56,676 --> 00:13:00,413
Wait a minute,
did you just use my name

379
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,649
as shorthand
for a guy being creepy?

380
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:03,750
Yep.

381
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,985
Well, you know what, Carl?

382
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,954
I think that you are making

383
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,788
a broad
and prejudicial assumption.

384
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,958
So next time I meet a guy
who just goes around

385
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,592
rushing to judgment,
I'm gonna say,

386
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,695
"Hey, that guy's being
a real Carl..."

387
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,267
You don't know my last name.

388
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,169
You've been drinking
here for years,

389
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,670
and you don't know my last name.

390
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,940
I will name every drink
in this bar after you

391
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,142
if you can tell me my last name.

392
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,143
Well, that just seems confusing.

393
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,012
How will you know
what people are ordering?

394
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,314
What's my last name, Marshall?

395
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,349
It's Carl...

396
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,256
...'s Junior.

397
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,359
Okay, wish me luck,
everyone.

398
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,428
Break a leg...
(everyone talking at once)

399
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,100
(clears throat)

400
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,072
What the hell?

401
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,142
Do not talk to her.

402
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,543
What-what... Who are you?

403
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,013
We are 20-Months-From-Now-
Coat-Check-Girl.

404
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,380
But there's two of you.

405
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,682
Right, because if you go
over there and you talk to her,

406
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,818
20 months from now, it's gonna
end in one of two ways.

407
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,586
Either you are gonna
get sick of me.

408
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,188
I made you muffins

409
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,490
because of your
nickname: Muffin.

410
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,059
Or...

411
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,528
I am gonna get sick of you
and your stupid habits.

412
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,663
Stop DVR-ing the news.
You're never gonna catch up.

413
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,664
(sobbing):
Oh, stop it,

414
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,933
you're scaring him off.

415
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,867
By the way,
I'm pregnant.

416
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,169
No, she's not.

417
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,137
Okay, no, I'm not,

418
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,039
but that made you happy
for a second, right?

419
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,174
Please shut up.
Okay, wait,

420
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,077
so you're saying
it's doomed completely?

421
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:40,180
One of us is just guaranteed
to get sick of the other

422
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,581
and call it quits?

423
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,516
You've been dating
for a long time, Ted.

424
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,153
Has it ever gone
any other way?

425
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,075
(quiet chatter)

426
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,276
Look at this one.

427
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,377
ROBIN:
Thank you so much.

428
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,611
Hey.

429
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,980
Hey, you look kind of down.

430
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:16,649
Have a Robin Scherbatsky,
on me.

431
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,386
None of this would have happened
if Lily had let me dance.

432
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,954
(sighs)

433
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,656
Baby, wait.

434
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,058
God, you're still clinging
to that?

435
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,426
Marshall, it doesn't matter,

436
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,761
'cause you'd lose anyway,
and you know why?

437
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,763
'Cause I'm Sparkles,
bitch.

438
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,966
Oh, and you think
you can step to me?

439
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,901
You think you can step
up to the streets?

440
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,069
To me?

441
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:39,472
You think you can step up
over me to the streets?

442
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,408
I guess we'll never know
because you are not allowed...

443
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,409
Wait, wait.

444
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,676
(upbeat rap music playing)

445
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,279
That's my jam.

446
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,615
Who's playing my jam?

447
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,350
* Like you carry dairy there
* Carry dairy there *

448
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,485
* Heinie heinie heinie ho
* Heinie heinie heinie ho *

449
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,487
* Work your derriere
* Work your derriere *

450
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,955
Dance-off.

451
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,290
You're on.

452
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,926
* Work that booty

453
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,128
* Work that booty,
work that booty *

454
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,262
* Work that booty

455
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,264
* You got that pretty
brown round *

456
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,466
* Want both hands
all on them chocolate mounds *

457
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,967
* Give you my Almond Joy...

458
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,502
Oh.

459
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,970
I think I'm gonna head home.

460
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,372
I understand.

461
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,041
What, you're not gonna try
and stop me?

462
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,209
And how would I try
and stop you?

463
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,679
I don't know, by telling me
life is short,

464
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,614
and if you ever come
across a beautiful,

465
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,183
exciting, crazy moment in it,

466
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,118
you got to seize it
while you can

467
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,686
before that moment's gone?

468
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,989
Ted, this moment
already is gone.

469
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,825
The whole
Minnesota Tidal Wave thing

470
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,061
happened five years ago.

471
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,528
It's just a memory.

472
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:36,729
And the rest of this

473
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,398
never happened.

474
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,068
Right now, Marshall
and Lily are upstairs,

475
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,969
trying to get Marvin
to go back to sleep.

476
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,038
Robin and I are trying
to decide on a caterer.

477
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,005
And you've been
sitting here

478
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,974
all night,
staring at a single ticket

479
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,809
to Robots vs. Wrestlers

480
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,478
because the rest of us
couldn't come out.

481
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,314
Look around, Ted.

482
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,349
You're all alone.

483
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,259
NARRATOR:
Kids, it's been almost 20 years

484
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,028
since that cold April night
in 2013,

485
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,098
and I can safely tell you,

486
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,501
if I could go back in time
and relive that night,

487
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,471
there's no way in hell
I'd go to Robots vs. Wrestlers.

488
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,877
No, I'd go home.

489
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,879
I'd go to my old apartment,

490
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,349
see all my old furniture,
my old stuff.

491
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,684
I'd see my old drafting table,

492
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,521
where I sketched out
my first building.

493
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,123
I'd sit on that old couch

494
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,625
and smell the Indian food
cooking three stories below.

495
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:42,061
I'd go to Lily
and Marshall's place,

496
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,864
be back in that old living room
where so many things happened.

497
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,233
I'd see the baby.

498
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,235
I don't know if you can
picture me holding

499
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:51,070
your six-foot-seven
cousin Marvin over my head,

500
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,106
but back then I could.

501
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,375
I'd go have a drink
with Barney and Robin,

502
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,144
watch them fight
about their caterer

503
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,712
or whatever it was they were
fighting about that night.

504
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,150
But none of those things
is the thing I'd do first.

505
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:06,919
You know the thing
I'd do first?

506
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,980
Hi.

507
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,985
I'm Ted Mosby.

508
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:43,022
And exactly 45 days from now,

509
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,625
you and I are gonna meet,

510
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,094
and we're gonna fall in love,

511
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,096
and we're gonna get married,

512
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,466
and...
we're gonna have two kids.

513
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:57,370
And we're gonna love them
and each other so much.

514
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:03,075
All that is 45 days away.

515
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:09,182
But I'm here now,

516
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:12,051
I guess, because...

517
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:18,225
I want those extra 45 days
with you.

518
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:21,728
I want each one of them.

519
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,730
Look, and if I can't have them,

520
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,132
I'll take the 45 seconds
before your boyfriend shows up

521
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,336
and punches me in the face,

522
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,539
because...

523
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,741
I love you.

524
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,877
I'm always gonna love you,

525
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,448
till the end of my days
and beyond.

526
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,184
You'll see.

527
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,521
Can I help you?

528
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,190
Oh, hey, it's, uh, Louis, right?

529
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,191
It's okay.

530
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,693
It's fine, um...

531
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,994
I'm in love
with your girlfriend,

532
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,996
and, uh,
we're gonna get married.

533
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,031
What?
Yeah.

534
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,759
Okay, guys, I've been waiting
20 years for this.

535
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:27,960
Just like we practiced.

536
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,429
No mistakes, ready?

537
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,299
One, two,
a-one, two, three, four.

538
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,802
ALL:
* Whoa-oh-oh-oh

539
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,236
* For the longest

540
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,572
* For the longest time

541
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,107
* Whoa-oh-oh

542
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,609
* For the longest

543
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:43,976
* For the longest time

544
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:48,781
* If you said good-bye
to me tonight *

545
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:49,982
* Ooh-ooh-ooh

546
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,551
* There would still

547
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,286
* Be music left to write

548
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,654
* Doo-doo-doo

549
00:20:54,687 --> 00:21:01,594
* What else could I do?
I'm so inspired by you *

550
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:06,633
* That hasn't happened
for the longest time. *