1 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:03,671 NARRATOR: With Christmas just around the corner, 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:04,905 your Uncle Barney gave me 3 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,707 the horrible gift of an unwanted secret. 4 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:10,010 Tomorrow night on the roof of the World Wide News building-- 5 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,045 that's Patrice's favorite spot-- 6 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,580 I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 7 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:15,383 Ah, poot-tu-tat! You're jinxed. 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,751 I'll unjinx you if you'll follow these two rules: 9 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,853 one: you can't try to talk me out of it, 10 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:24,358 and two: you can't tell anybody. Agreed? 11 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,928 NARRATOR: Yeah, that nod was a lie. 12 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,698 You see, Robin had been hurting over Barney all fall, 13 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,901 and as her friend, I knew I had to tell her. 14 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:37,071 I just had to find the right moment. 15 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:42,076 Uh, there he is! The youngest architect ever 16 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,245 to build a skyscraper in New York City! 17 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,115 The shockingly still single Ted Mosby. 18 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,616 You hear that, ladies? 19 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,419 I can't believe the GNB Tower opens tonight. 20 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,622 Ted, your building finally gets unveiled to the whole world. 21 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,957 (gasps) You hear that, ladies?! 22 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,559 Nervous? 23 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,129 Everything comes out of my body in liquid form now. 24 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,930 Ignore that, ladies. 25 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,698 Plus, I, I keep having this nightmare 26 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,800 where King Kong shows up to the opening 27 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,436 but refuses to climb my building 28 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,439 because, in his words, "It's a bit derivative." 29 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,974 Oh, stop it, tonight is gonna be amazing. 30 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,943 And we are definitely gonna be there to toast you, 31 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:19,713 but we might have to leave a little early if that's okay. 32 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,983 My dad just gave us the most amazing Christmas gift ever. 33 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,586 Our first night away since Marvin was born. 34 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:29,790 24 hours straight without that little bastard. 35 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,059 We're maximizing our time away 36 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,428 by planning everything down to the minute. 37 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:35,929 See? 38 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,565 2:12 p.m.-- guilt Ted 39 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,600 into saying it's okay if we leave early tonight. 40 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,637 It's okay if you leave early tonight. 41 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:44,772 Look, I just 42 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,174 appreciate you showing up at all 43 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,308 on your big night away. 44 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,143 I mean, Barney's not even gonna be there. 45 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,043 What? 46 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,745 This is the biggest night of your career. 47 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,980 Why isn't Barney coming? 48 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:57,117 I don't know-- he said, 49 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,787 "Legendary" and "Challenge accepted," and then he winked. 50 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,156 "Wait for it," you know, all that stuff. 51 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,424 That does sound like him. 52 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,926 Well, we're your real friends 53 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,961 and we wouldn't miss it for the world. 54 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:11,165 That is why we will see you tonight 55 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,001 from 7:03 to 7:14. 56 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,370 Bye, guys. Good night. Bye. 57 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:19,473 Okay, what's the real reason Barney's not coming? 58 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:23,644 NARRATOR: Here was my chance to tell Robin about Barney. 59 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:27,848 Yeah, actually, Barney didn't say what he was doing tonight. 60 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:31,385 Anyway, uh, you know, I'm not taking anyone to the opening, 61 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,787 so you want to be my date? 62 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,656 Sure. 63 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,676 Okay, Dad, I-I made you a list 64 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,211 of Marvin's nightly schedule down to the minute. 65 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:58,979 Okay. 66 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,583 Uh, "9:06 p.m.-- put on edible underwear." 67 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,818 Wrong list, wrong list. 68 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,020 Come on, relax. 69 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:10,057 I know this little guy like the back of my hand. 70 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,960 Dear Lord, what is that? 71 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:15,929 Oh, jam, okay. 72 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:16,930 Just jam. 73 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,933 Oh, I-I forgot the lullaby. 74 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,068 Do you know Marvin's lullaby? 75 00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:22,770 We sing it to him every night. 76 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,506 * Night, night, little Marvin * 77 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,808 * Stars twinkle for you 78 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,213 * The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' * 79 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:38,185 * All your dreams will come true * 80 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,621 * And the horsie says, "Good night" * 81 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,225 * And the birdie says, "Good night" * 82 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,230 * And the elephant says, "Good night" * 83 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,067 * And the skeleton playing his own rib cage * 84 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,102 * Says, "Good Night" 85 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,940 * And the robot says, "Good night" * 86 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,642 (robot voice): Good night. (knocking on ceiling) 87 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,076 MAN: Enough with the damn music! 88 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:10,017 * And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" * 89 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,588 * And the whole world says, "Good night" * 90 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,123 Take it, Mommy. 91 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,894 Got it-- load him up with cough syrup, 92 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,830 watch Breaking Bad until he conks out. 93 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,465 Just kidding. 94 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:27,968 We did it. 95 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,437 Yeah, we did. 96 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,504 Now that we're out the door, 97 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,440 I actually don't feel anxious. 98 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,307 (phone rings) 99 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,808 Whoa, oh, my God, it's your dad! 100 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,511 Oh, something horrible happened-- aah! 101 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,947 Oh, it's Ted, relax. 102 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,148 Bar, now. 103 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,283 What is it? 104 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,352 He needs me. 105 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,620 But what about our magical romantic night? 106 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,989 In four minutes we're supposed to be doing hand stuff 107 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,157 in the cab. 108 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,192 I'll be quick-- I'm sure it's nothing huge. 109 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,794 That's huge. 110 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,996 And I knew that I had to tell Robin. 111 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,097 But? 112 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,099 I may have, uh... 113 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,201 asked her to be my date instead. 114 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,270 What is wrong with me? 115 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,304 Deep down, 116 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,939 is there still some crazy part of me 117 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,475 that thinks I'm gonna wind up with Robin? 118 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,109 Am I that deluded? 119 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,312 If so, I need to grow up. 120 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,682 Oh, um, by the way, I'm breaking a jinx swear here, 121 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,784 so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me 122 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,019 in the nuts three times with a Wiffle ball bat. 123 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,354 Sure, pretty standard. 124 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:23,557 Robin deserves the chance to go after Barney one last time 125 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,058 if that's what she wants. 126 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:26,960 I'm gonna go tell her. 127 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,796 One quick thing. Yeah. 128 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,730 Don't. 129 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,065 (phone rings) 130 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,368 Hey, um, I'm gonna be a little while, baby. 131 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:36,570 It's a long story, but Ted needs my help. 132 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,038 Okay, but hurry 133 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:42,009 or I'm gonna start doing number 11 on my own. 134 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,312 You can do that by yourself? 135 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,048 Pilates, bitch. 136 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,083 Okay, why shouldn't I tell Robin? 137 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,520 Because deep down some crazy part of you 138 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,088 still thinks you're gonna wind up with her, and I agree. 139 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:58,158 Marshall... I'm sorry, I'm Team Tedward. 140 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,727 Always have been, always will be. 141 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,828 Now, listen. 142 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,930 I want my best friend to be happy. 143 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,332 And if Robin could mean happiness for you, 144 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,201 then, dear God, why help her go after another man? 145 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,170 Because she might still be in love with him. 146 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,673 To not tell her, to not give her that chance, 147 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,007 it's... it's selfish. 148 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,342 So be selfish. 149 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,577 I can't do that. 150 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,413 Tell that to the onion rings we just "split." 151 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,615 (sighs) Robin is my friend. 152 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:24,017 She's always been more than that and you know it. 153 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,085 Now, as we speak, 154 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,456 my wife is in a hotel room cheating on me... 155 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,457 with herself. 156 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,758 But I'm not leaving here 157 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,192 until you promise not to say 158 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,293 a word about this to Robin. 159 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,863 Now repeat after me. "I..." 160 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,399 Well, I can do more at a time than "I." 161 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:42,536 "I, Ted Mosby, promise to stop 162 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,905 "putting everyone else's interests ahead of my own, 163 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:48,241 and for once in my life, do what's best for me." 164 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,111 I... 165 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,947 Sorry, what was the rest of that? 166 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,149 Hey, Dad, just taking a break 167 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:59,052 from our amazing night to check in. 168 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:03,724 I bet Marvin's pretty devastated that I'm not there, huh? 169 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,326 Not at all-- I don't think he even noticed you're gone. 170 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,428 It's kind of like Mommy who? (laughs) 171 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,464 Oh... oh, good. 172 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,567 But I should probably sing him his nighttime lullaby 173 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,302 over the phone, just in case. 174 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,437 Sang it already-- nailed it. 175 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,972 Did you do the horsie? 176 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,073 Yep. The birdie? 177 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,341 Yep. Moose. 178 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,976 No moose, trick question. 179 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,177 Robot. 180 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,245 (robot voice): Affirmative. 181 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,346 Look, I should go. 182 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,015 Marvin's asleep in my arms. 183 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,651 Mmm, his head smells like love. 184 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,086 Bye. 185 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,555 (sighs) 186 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,693 Whoa. 187 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:45,966 Hello... and hubba-hubba. 188 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,134 Aw, thanks. 189 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,803 But tonight is about my main man Mosby. 190 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:50,838 Really? Why? 191 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,939 Oh, Ted, tell Ranjit 192 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,641 the huge thing that's happening tonight. 193 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,309 Barney's getting engaged. 194 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,080 Ranjit out. 195 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,488 Bar-Barney's getting engaged? 196 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,123 He asked me to keep it a secret, 197 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,160 but I thought you deserved to know... 198 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:16,730 in case you wanted to do something about it. 199 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,065 Do you? 200 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,168 RANJIT: Do you, Robin? 201 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,536 Ranjit, a little privacy, please? 202 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:26,239 Sorry, not listening. 203 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:38,251 Nice, uneven floor there, Ted. 204 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:40,087 (sighs) Lily, are you drunk? 205 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,856 What? I... I'm on vacation. 206 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,258 I may have cracked open the minibar to celebrate. 207 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,094 Who invited the narc? 208 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,597 Hey, listen, I know that you miss Marvin, but it's not 209 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,132 like we could've brought him to a black tie event. 210 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,170 These parents are so lame and-and clingy. 211 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,573 Yeah, it's like, cut the cord already, right, guys? 212 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,942 Yeah, yeah, that baby's not even cute. 213 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,176 Super ugly baby. 214 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,212 It's almost physically repulsive. 215 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,216 Aw.... Aw... 216 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,920 Great, I just started lactating. 217 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,055 Me, too. 218 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,825 So, what do you want to do? 219 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,430 Robin, I do not want to meddle, 220 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,900 but this is like the classic love song says... 221 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,636 (singing loudly and high-pitched) 222 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,573 Ranjit. 223 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:37,177 Ranjit, let's just communicate via text from now on, okay? 224 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,614 (singing stops) 225 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,249 I appreciate what you're doing. 226 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,218 But I'm not chasing after Barney anymore. 227 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,421 I-I just got done being crazy about all that. 228 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,625 I mean, why would I want to throw myself back in that pit? 229 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,160 Because you're in love with him. 230 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,228 No, I'm not. 231 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,330 I'm happy for him. 232 00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,968 So, it doesn't bother you that Barney Stinson's gonna propose 233 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,271 to another woman on top of the World Wide News building? 234 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,239 Wait, why the top of the World Wide News building? 235 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,642 I guess it's Patrice's favorite spot in the city. 236 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,679 Damn it, Patrice, that's my favorite spot in the city! 237 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:15,348 Whoa. (phone chimes) 238 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,184 Ranjit says, "Whoa." 239 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,119 Okay... (sighs) 240 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:23,590 maybe that one detail stings a little bit, 241 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,093 but that doesn't mean I'm in love with Barney. 242 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,360 (phone chimes) 243 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,329 "Sounds like she's in love with Barney." 244 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,932 Okay, is this divider even slightly soundproof? 245 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,200 (phone chimes) 246 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,501 "Yes." 247 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,837 With a little winky face. 248 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,272 Look, I... I hope it goes well for Barney. 249 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,042 I really do. 250 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,610 But tonight there is no place I would rather be 251 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,178 than at your building. 252 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,014 Celebrating with you. 253 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,450 This kid does not mean that you're special. 254 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:55,022 It just means that you're horny and you're easy. 255 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,890 Now, come on, let me smell his head. 256 00:10:56,924 --> 00:11:00,627 Li-Lily, Lily, no, no, no, no, come on. 257 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,164 Seriously, Ted, what is up with the floor? 258 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,066 Lily. What? 259 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,467 Is it harder than we thought 260 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,236 to be away from Marvin? Yes. 261 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,905 But are we gonna have fun or are we gonna wallow 262 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,306 in the corner like idiots? 263 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,309 BOTH (crying): * Night, night, little Marvin 264 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,679 * Stars twinkle for you 265 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,852 * The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' * 266 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,820 * All your dreams 267 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,557 * Will come true. 268 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,193 Hey. 269 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:37,197 Do you realize that something you thought up in your head 270 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:41,201 now exists as a part of the Manhattan skyline? 271 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,771 That's huge. 272 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,039 It's just a building. 273 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,375 I mean, I'm incredibly young for such an achievement, 274 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,743 but it's just a building. 275 00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,078 I mean, Architecture Vision Weekly 276 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,613 may have dubbed it "more than just a building," 277 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,115 but it's just a building. 278 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,249 So let's not get carried... 279 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,085 Okay, you're right, it's huge. 280 00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,186 It is huge. 281 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,121 You're the star of the party, and who knows? 282 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,957 Maybe the future Mrs. Ted Mosby is gonna be there. 283 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:10,463 Yeah, maybe she will. 284 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,600 Oh. 285 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,135 Wait, this isn't your... 286 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,638 (sighs) 287 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,673 This is the World Wide News building. 288 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,743 Go get him. 289 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,318 I told you, I am done chasing Barney. 290 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,420 Now can we please go to your party? 291 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:36,123 Robin, do you want to spend tonight making small talk 292 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,091 with a bunch of bankers 293 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,493 in a daring yet refined contemporary masterpiece 294 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,762 King Kong should feel lucky to climb... 295 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,332 ...or do you want to follow your heart? 296 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,969 Why do you keep insisting that I have feelings for Barney? 297 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,104 (phone chimes) Because you do. 298 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,273 See, even Ranjit agrees. 299 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,108 Oh, he's got to pee. 300 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,978 The point is, 301 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,179 you're not over Barney. 302 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,948 That's why you freaked out about him proposing 303 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,749 on the roof of the World Wide News building. 304 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,517 I did not freak out. 305 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,586 It's just... 306 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,089 a teeny, tiny bit annoying 307 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,091 that I am the one 308 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,293 who showed her that roof in the first place! 309 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,527 Damn it, Patrice! 310 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,329 Whoa. 311 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,865 (phone chimes) 312 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,267 "Never mind; I found a soda bottle." 313 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,135 Okay, that's disturbing. 314 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,971 What do you want me to do, Ted? 315 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,172 Run up to that roof, 316 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,107 knock the ring out of Barney's hand, 317 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,443 and say, "Sorry to interrupt, but you should be with me"? 318 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,780 Is that what you want? 319 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,615 No. 320 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,650 I don't. 321 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:43,423 I can't keep making an ass of myself. 322 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,994 Well, 323 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,897 a word in defense of making an ass of yourself, 324 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,098 it's underrated. 325 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,167 Eight years ago 326 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,004 I made an ass of myself chasing after you, 327 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,039 and I've made an ass of myself chasing after you 328 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,673 a bunch of times since then. 329 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,410 But I have no regrets. 330 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,179 Because it led me to something 331 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,814 that I wouldn't trade for the world. 332 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,018 It led to you being my friend. 333 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,821 So, as your friend 334 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,157 and a leading expert in the field 335 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,026 of making an ass of yourself, 336 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,727 I say to you 337 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,197 from the heart, 338 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:28,001 get the hell out of this car. 339 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,837 (exhales) 340 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:34,074 But, Ted, 341 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,377 your big night. 342 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,482 It's just a building. 343 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,995 (door closes) 344 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,988 BARNEY: The Robin. 345 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,158 Step one: admit to yourself 346 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,994 that you still have feelings for this girl. 347 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:30,797 I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. 348 00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,800 More than she knows. 349 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,635 Step two: 350 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,604 choose the completely wrong moment to make a drunken move 351 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,638 after hanging out 352 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,941 at a strip club 353 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,177 and get shot down on purpose. 354 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,081 Step three: 355 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,817 agree that you two don't work, locking the door 356 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,285 on any future you could have together. 357 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,121 I'm done trying to get you. 358 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,489 I can't do it anymore. 359 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,091 Which will drive Robin nuts. 360 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,459 Huh. 361 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,529 Step four: 362 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,531 Robin goes nuts. 363 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,699 Step five: 364 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,801 find the person who annoys Robin most 365 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:09,769 in the world... 366 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,140 Nobody asked for your help, Patrice! 367 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,176 ...and ask for her help. 368 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,511 Oh, hi, Barney. 369 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:19,679 What are you doing here? 370 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,348 Actually, I'm looking for you. 371 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,683 This may sound kind of weird, but I have a proposition... 372 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,885 Explain everything to Patrice 373 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,687 and hope she agrees to help. 374 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,456 Yay. I love Robin. 375 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,558 Of course I'll help. (giggles) 376 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,160 Good, good. (screams) 377 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,295 Step six: check with your doctor 378 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,530 about possible broken ribs. 379 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,133 Step seven: pretend to be dating Patrice. 380 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:43,336 Nobody asked you here, Patrice! 381 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,339 Actually, I did. 382 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,740 Step eight: 383 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,177 wait until Robin inevitably breaks into your place 384 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,145 to find the Playbook and show it to Patrice, 385 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,181 which you'll monitor via the hidden cameras 386 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,783 you have in your apartment. 387 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,755 Patrice, the robin's in the nest. 388 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:06,226 That means Robin broke into my apartment 389 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,161 Were you even listening when I explained the codes? 390 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:09,996 Step nine: after Patrice finds the Playbook, 391 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,066 have your first big fight. 392 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,767 This is going so well. 393 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,169 Thank you so much. 394 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,605 I know, but what the heck are Lily and Ted doing here? 395 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,707 I don't know. My friends have no boundaries. 396 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,709 (groans) How can I ever thank you? 397 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,511 Will you watch my cat next weekend? 398 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,179 No. 399 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,748 Come on, we should probably go back inside. 400 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,350 Step ten: 401 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,951 prove your loyalty to Patrice 402 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,520 by burning the Playbook, 403 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,122 and actually burn it. 404 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,559 You don't need it anymore. 405 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,429 Step 11: 406 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,963 because your friends have no boundaries, 407 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,432 they'll inevitably have 408 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,066 an intervention for Robin, 409 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,035 which you'll monitor via the hidden cameras 410 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,437 you have in Marshall and Lily's apartment. 411 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,071 Step 12: 412 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,406 tell only Ted about your plan 413 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,041 to propose to Patrice. 414 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,110 You can't tell anybody. 415 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,611 Agreed? 416 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,081 Step 13: 417 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,816 wait and see if Ted tells Robin, 418 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,285 and if he does... 419 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,986 Barney's getting engaged. 420 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,955 ...it means your best bro in the world 421 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,958 has let go of Robin and has given you his blessing. 422 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:15,061 Step 14: Robin arrives 423 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,896 at her favorite spot in the city 424 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,131 and finds the secret final page 425 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:21,134 of the Playbook. 426 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,635 The last play 427 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,337 you'll ever run. 428 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,973 Step 15: Robin realizes 429 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,209 she's standing underneath mistletoe. 430 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,319 (sighs) 431 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,520 Seriously, Barney? 432 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,922 Even you, 433 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,359 even someone as certifiably insane as you 434 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,628 must realize that this is too far. 435 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,464 You lied to me, 436 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,300 manipulated me for weeks. 437 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,702 Do you really think I could ever kiss you after that? 438 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,036 Do you really think 439 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,439 I could ever trust you after that? 440 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,440 This... 441 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,175 this is proof 442 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,142 of why we don't work, 443 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,577 why we'll never work. 444 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,046 So thank you. 445 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,282 You've set me free because... 446 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:12,385 how could I be with a man who thinks that this... 447 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,987 trick, this enormous lie 448 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,357 could ever make me want to date him again? 449 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,393 Turn it over. 450 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,429 (sighs) 451 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,837 Robin Scherbatsky... 452 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,040 ...will you marry me? 453 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,914 Yes. 454 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:46,353 * In the oceans deep 455 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:50,022 * In the canyons steep 456 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,425 * Walls of granite 457 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:56,095 * Here I stand 458 00:19:56,128 --> 00:20:00,767 * All my desperate calls 459 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,070 * Echo off the walls 460 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,172 * Back and forth... 461 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,841 And so, let's all raise a glass to Ted Mosby. 462 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,209 None of this 463 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,345 would have been possible without him. 464 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,546 To Ted. 465 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,114 ALL: To Ted. 466 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,685 * Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh 467 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,722 * Oh-oh-oh- oh-oh * 468 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,392 * Oh-oh 469 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,695 * To believe 470 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,464 * I walk 471 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:35,402 * Alone 472 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,275 * Is a lie 473 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:46,813 * That I've 474 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,215 * Been told 475 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:54,387 * So let your heart hold fast 476 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:58,124 * For this soon shall pass 477 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:03,596 * There's another hill ahead.