1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,904
Can I get you guys
anything to drink?

2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:04,805
BOTH:
Scotch, neat.

3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,339
Jinx.

4
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,340
(gasps)

5
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,245
Oh, my...

6
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,847
God.

7
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:16,384
NARRATOR:
Kids, you may be wondering
why five adults

8
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,520
in their 30s would take
a jinx so seriously.

9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:22,190
It all started one day
five years ago.

10
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,557
Ooh, Van Helsing.
Ooh, Van Helsing.

11
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,893
Jinx. You're jinxed.

12
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,561
That means that you
can't speak until someone

13
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,330
who was present for the
jinx says your name,

14
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,231
or else

15
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,100
you will have
very bad luck.

16
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,534
(scoffs)
That's ridiculous.

17
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,735
(both gasp)

18
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,936
You broke the jinx.

19
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,038
Marshall, I'm a grown-ass man.

20
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,174
I'm on my building's
co-op board.

21
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,943
When I say a Pinot Noir tastes
luxuriously earthy

22
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,179
with a hint of rhubarb,
I'm not faking it.

23
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,280
I've had several

24
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,882
of the same sexual partners
as Henry Kissinger.

25
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:51,752
I'm not about to stop talking
just because I was jinxed.

26
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,256
NARRATOR:
Barney broke three limbs

27
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,590
and two vertebrae,

28
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,192
but he never broke
another jinx.

29
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:01,395
In fact, he started taking
jinxes way too seriously.

30
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,198
Barney, I'm on hold
with Sports Talk AM

31
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,200
to talk to my childhood hero
from the Minnesota Twins.

32
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,401
Who's your childhood hero?

33
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,137
Frank Viola.
Frank Viola--
jinx!

34
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,105
(over phone):
Hello, this is Frank.

35
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:11,939
Anyone there?

36
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,107
Hello?

37
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:16,110
I can hear you breathing,
you coward.

38
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,580
NARRATOR:
So, when someone
finally jinxed Barney

39
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,981
for the first time in years,

40
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,616
we were pretty psyched.

41
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,318
The reign of terror is over!

42
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,720
I've had this cigar
in my pocket for two years,

43
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,257
waiting for this moment.

44
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,793
Aw, that would've been good
about two years ago.

45
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,895
Cheers.

46
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:35,896
(all whooping)

47
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,331
Huzzah!
Huzzah.

48
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:40,468
LILY:
Oh, oh, oh, you want us
to say your name

49
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,002
and un-jinx you?

50
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,471
I don't think so, pal.

51
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,073
This is gonna
be a long jinx.

52
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,075
Like Yom Kippur
services long.

53
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,444
The only difference is,
Yom Kippur's a fast

54
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,946
and this one's
gonna be a slow.

55
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,515
Oh!
ROBIN:
Now, Ted,

56
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:57,651
I was wondering if you could
expand upon what you were saying

57
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,087
earlier about
antiquated currency.

58
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,255
Ah, yes, yes.

59
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,157
Contrary to popular belief,

60
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:06,527
the buffalo nickel was modeled
on the Black Diamond bison

61
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,030
rather than the more iconic
Western Plains bison.

62
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,499
To wit,

63
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,966
if President Taft
had had his way,

64
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,536
we'd all be talking
about the egret nickel.

65
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,621
NARRATOR: In the winter of 2012
the skyscraper

66
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,789
that I designed was
about to open,

67
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,058
which got me thinking
about the most influential

68
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,960
architecture professor
I ever had.

69
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:43,797
So when the children
of our grandchildren's children

70
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,000
ask us "Who were we,"
they'll find the answer carved

71
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:51,739
into the granite poetry
of our architecture.

72
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,641
Okay.

73
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,076
It doesn't get any
better than that.

74
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,446
Class dismissed.

75
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:04,485
Wow, just wow.

76
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,819
Do you need something?

77
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,088
I have an apple I was hoping
to eat in silence.

78
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,991
Of course,
Professor Vinick, I, um,

79
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,760
I-I sketched out a design,

80
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,895
and it'd be such an honor
if you took a look at it.

81
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,030
Oh, well.

82
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,332
It is believed

83
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:23,237
that it took the pharaohs
over 100 years

84
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,038
to build the Sphinx.

85
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,108
So...

86
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,510
you think...

87
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,512
I should spend more time on it?

88
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,046
Oh, dear God, no.

89
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,047
This is terrible.

90
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,450
Then, why'd you mention
the Sphinx?

91
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,286
(laughs)

92
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,922
I find my mind is
often with the Sphinx.

93
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,625
Anyway, you'll never
be an architect.

94
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,260
You'll never be an architect.

95
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,628
You'll never
be an architect.

96
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,197
(laughing):
You'll never be an architect!

97
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,064
Well, guess what.

98
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,533
I sent Professor Vinick

99
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,201
the invitation
to the opening of my building,

100
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,036
so he'll see that
I did become an architect,

101
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,272
and that I've moved past
his petty, hurtful words.

102
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,073
ROBIN:
Wow.

103
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,609
15 years later and you're
still this obsessed.

104
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,311
Yeah, if Vinick ever
goes missing,

105
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,713
the cops are gonna come looking
for him in your basement.

106
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,482
Totally, he's Ted's pit guy.

107
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:10,117
How dare you?

108
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,118
And what is that?

109
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,953
A pit guy is someone

110
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,155
you've been obsessed with
for so long...

111
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,990
that it's driven you
crazy enough

112
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,992
to throw them
in a pit in your basement

113
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,761
like in The Silence
of the Lambs.

114
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,131
(screaming)

115
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,233
(laughing)

116
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,569
I'm not gonna Silence
of the Lambs him.

117
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,937
At most,

118
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,805
I'd Revenge of the Nerds him.

119
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,641
Though I don't see
a scenario where he agrees

120
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,975
to play me in a pentathlon.

121
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,978
Yeah, I'm with Ted-- there
is no one I hate enough

122
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,347
to throw into a pit.

123
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,949
What?

124
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:44,485
NARRATOR:
When Robin's most hated
coworker Patrice

125
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,753
started dating Barney,

126
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,521
she became obsessed.

127
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,990
Patrice, Patrice goes
in your pit.

128
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,761
Guys, I told you, I am done
obsessing about Patrice.

129
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,995
Just drop her.

130
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,129
Drop her in a pit.

131
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,230
Enough.

132
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,533
We all have people that
we would throw in our pits,

133
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:02,002
and I'm sure we all have people

134
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,672
who would like to throw us
in their pits.

135
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,507
Yeah, if Marshall
or I ever go missing,

136
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,642
I'll tell you whose
basement to look in.

137
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,310
Daryl LaCourte.

138
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,311
Oh, no.

139
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,813
It's creepy Daryl.

140
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:13,647
Let's get out of here
before he sees us.

141
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,983
Hey, hot sack
coming through.

142
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,118
Ha... ha...

143
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,787
Hi, Daryl.
Hey, Daryl.
Hey!

144
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,022
I feel like I never see
you guys anymore.

145
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,291
Like whenever I'm getting
to a party, you're just leaving.

146
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,359
Even that party

147
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:26,960
at your place--
you guys just raced off

148
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,562
into the night at 7:30.

149
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,563
That's weird.

150
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:30,498
But this is

151
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,299
great-- the three hackmigos

152
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,001
back together again.

153
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:38,472
We played Hacky Sack together
once freshman year, Daryl.

154
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,140
Once.

155
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,842
November 14, 1996.

156
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,910
That is the best memory ever.

157
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:43,911
Sure.

158
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,513
(grunts)

159
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,048
The three hackmigos
for life.

160
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,083
To this day, we are
still getting e-mails

161
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,985
and posts from Daryl.

162
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,321
He has commented
on every photo

163
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,824
of Baby Marvin
we have ever posted,

164
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,825
and then

165
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,495
he comments on his own comments.

166
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,496
(door opens)

167
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,065
(all clamoring excitedly)

168
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,267
Hey, guys, look,
it's Bar...

169
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,536
none, my favorite

170
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,670
non-speaking

171
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,071
jinxed person
in the world.

172
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:11,939
How was

173
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,541
your day?

174
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,130
Yeah, I didn't get
a word of that.

175
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,566
Sorry, buddy.

176
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,969
Ah, Scherbatsky, it's
my favorite time of year.

177
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,604
Didn't know
you liked Christmas so much.

178
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,138
No, year-end reviews.

179
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,774
We get to fire some people.

180
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,109
Get into the spirit.

181
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,144
Look, Sandy, you might
enjoy firing people

182
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,446
for petty personal differences.

183
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,281
I'd hardly call giving
me gonorrhea

184
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,049
a petty personal difference.

185
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,585
But I am a professional,

186
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,887
and I would never fire someone
for unprofessional reasons.

187
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,955
Well, somebody's got to go.

188
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,424
NARRATOR:
Kids, the thing
about pit people,

189
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,126
sometimes you don't
even know you have one

190
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,762
until you have
a chance to push 'em in.

191
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,197
Hi, Robin.

192
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,102
Not happening, bro.

193
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,339
Not happening, bro.

194
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,977
Hand get tired?

195
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,013
Not happening, bro.

196
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,115
I hold in my hand

197
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,651
the RSVP from Professor Vinick.

198
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:31,652
Uh-huh.

199
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,320
Ah, he's checked

200
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,122
"Will not attend,"
which is fine,

201
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,791
because all I needed
to know was that he knows.

202
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:41,629
So now I will throw this in
the trash and never look at it.

203
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,497
What's this?

204
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,465
"I believe you've sent this
to the wrong person.

205
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:48,368
I have no idea
who Ted Mosby is."

206
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,338
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.

207
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,308
Oh, you'll remember who I am,
Professor Vinick.

208
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:58,478
You'll never forget it.

209
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,514
Not happening, bro.

210
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,120
Ted, just because we're coming
with you to Wesleyan

211
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,055
does not mean that we condone
your behavior.

212
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,857
Just using it as an excuse

213
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,826
to see the old campus...

214
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,962
and maybe watch you have
a complete mental breakdown.

215
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:18,298
What are you even gonna do
when you see Professor Vinick?

216
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,601
Oh, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

217
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,707
Sweet merciful Franks Gehry
and Lloyd Wright,

218
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,977
from what brilliant mind was
this work of art sired?

219
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,411
Mosby.

220
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:34,381
Ted Mosby.

221
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,184
(coughing):
Architect.

222
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,085
But that's-that's...

223
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,987
Impossible?

224
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,489
Looks like
you were wrong, Vinick.

225
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,058
Dead wrong.

226
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,100
(distorted):
No!

227
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,169
(yells)

228
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,037
(laughs)

229
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,172
Be careful, Ted.

230
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,943
Revenge fantasies never
work out the way you want.

231
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,145
Especially dance-
based revenge.

232
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,447
My prom was rough, guys.

233
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,882
LILY:
Ooh!

234
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,017
We're almost there.

235
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,019
Oh, I can't wait
to see the old campus.

236
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,055
I'm gonna grab one of those
giant dining hall hot dogs.

237
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,890
Oh, I love those huge wieners.

238
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061
I'm not so sure you heard me.

239
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:25,198
I said, "I love
those huge wieners."

240
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,133
I love them.

241
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,167
In my mouth.

242
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:33,140
So, let me ask you a few
questions, Clarice... Patrice.

243
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,275
How would you rate
your performance

244
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,110
in the last six months?

245
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,979
Well, I don't like
to talk about myself,

246
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,649
but all my coworkers deserve
an A-double-plus,

247
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,950
that's for suresies.

248
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,217
Ooh,

249
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,986
fancy lotion.

250
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:49,389
It puts the lotion
in the basket.

251
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,159
It's just, this is
really nice lotion.

252
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,961
And what a pretty basket, Robin.

253
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,529
I know, that's why
I bought it, Patrice!

254
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,967
Man, it's like

255
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,669
nothing has changed.
Mmm, I know.

256
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:05,005
The bun, the relish.

257
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,644
That's a knee.

258
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,212
It's a beautifully
drawn knee, so?

259
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,654
That's a barn.

260
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,357
Oh, knee barn, right.

261
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,358
That's a great idea, Lily.

262
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,794
On the way home,
we should stop

263
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:27,928
at the knee barn,

264
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,362
pick us up some
wholesale knees.
Yeah.

265
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,200
MAN:
Marshall? Lily!

266
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,869
You... you're here.

267
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,972
Hi, Daryl.
(quietly):
Hi, Daryl.

268
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:39,873
Hi.

269
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,208
Wow,

270
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,710
after all these years.

271
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,078
You look just like you do
in my paintings.

272
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,415
Come here, guys.
(grunts)

273
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,485
There are men
and there are gods.

274
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,823
Antoni Gaudí was both.

275
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,225
TED:
There are jerk faces
and there are buttholes.

276
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:01,128
Professor Vinick was both.

277
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,863
Good one, Ted.

278
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,133
Come on, Vinick,
give me an opening.

279
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,001
Gaudí's architecture
gave expression

280
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:12,139
to the anarchic geometric form
of nature.

281
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,875
TED (mocking):
"Gaudí's architecture..."

282
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,344
Actually, that's
a really good point.

283
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,647
* Wow, Professor Vinick

284
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,516
* Man, you taught me so much

285
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,253
* About architecture and life

286
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,356
* God, your lectures
are so cool *

287
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:33,927
* I'll earn your respect
and we'll be best friends. *

288
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:38,165
Okay, it doesn't get
any better than that.

289
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,234
(sniffles)
No, it doesn't.

290
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,271
What are you
doing here, Daryl?

291
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,074
Well, I live
right down the street.

292
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,109
But I work
right here.

293
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,244
Whoa.
Oh, boy.

294
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,082
MARSHALL:
Are those...

295
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,851
(clears throat) ...our,
our faces up there, buddy?

296
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:58,952
Hack, yeah!

297
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:01,021
It was just as much
your idea as mine

298
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,356
to open up a Hacky Sack store
here at Wesleyan.

299
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,558
So you never left?

300
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,127
Once. I met a girl
on Craigslist,

301
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,030
and I flew to Boston
to meet her.

302
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,199
She was a man, 300 pounds,
and robbed me.

303
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,467
Still, the best
night of my life.

304
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:15,969
Until now!

305
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,571
The three hackmigos
back together again!

306
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,474
You know, I've been waiting
forever to give you something.

307
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,110
You're coming with me
to my house,

308
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,744
and I'm not taking no
for an answer.

309
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,481
BARNEY:
Dude, this is your chance.

310
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,784
Set me free,
and I will lie you out

311
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,985
of this creepy nightmare.

312
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,420
MARSHALL:
This is a tough one.

313
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,388
On the one hand, we might die.

314
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,058
On the other, you're jinxed.

315
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,060
BARNEY:
Let me free, Marshall.

316
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,095
This guy could be violent.

317
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:45,232
MARSHALL:
Violent... Viola...

318
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,234
Frank Viola.

319
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,005
We would love to come
to your house, Daryl!

320
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:54,141
Yeah!

321
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,176
Okay, um...

322
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,645
how often are you
and Barney doing it?

323
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,948
That's a strange question,
Robin.

324
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,950
You're right.

325
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,684
Maybe I should leave.

326
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,019
Yeah, maybe
you should.

327
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,020
You're fired.

328
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,859
Wow. Just wow.

329
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:15,128
Ted Mosby.
I'm a former student of yours.

330
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,464
You know, I actually became
an architect.

331
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,499
Any chance you remember me?

332
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,202
Oh, please excuse me, I've been
teaching for over 20 years.

333
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,005
All the faces start
to blend together

334
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:28,175
unless you have a, a weird
mustache or, or something.

335
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,978
Junior year I tried
to grow muttonchops,

336
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,881
but people kept saying
my face made them nauseous.

337
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,216
Well, not people. You.

338
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,719
Anyway, I would be honored
if you,

339
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,821
if you took a look
at my building.

340
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,226
This...

341
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,862
is hideous.

342
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,231
You'll never be an architect.

343
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,966
(echoing):
You'll never be an architect.

344
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,235
You'll never be an architect.
You'll never be an architect!

345
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,636
You'll never be an architect.

346
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,306
Wait. I was mistaken.

347
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,708
You most definitely
will be an architect.

348
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,976
Really?

349
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,144
These are astonishing,

350
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,180
Handlebar Pete.

351
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:12,152
So, when you said
"surprise in your house,"

352
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,755
what you really meant was
"surprise in the poorly lit

353
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:18,191
windowless basement
of your house."

354
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,028
Oh, you guys are gonna love
what I have to show you.

355
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:24,932
I am so excited, I could just
cry and laugh and scream

356
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:28,568
and just punch the wall
over and over and over
and over and over!

357
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,070
Could we just see it,

358
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,104
like, up in the
living room

359
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:35,508
or anywhere less...
gimp-storagey?

360
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,776
(laughs)
I just realized

361
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,446
I want to take
a picture of this.

362
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,049
I want to put your faces
on my mantel like a trophy.

363
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,050
Like a trophy!

364
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,989
Aah...!
Aah...!

365
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:57,230
(singsongy):
Here I come.

366
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,800
And I've got
your surprise
right here!

367
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,669
No! We don't want
your surprise, Daryl!

368
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,105
We're not your amigos,

369
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,773
we're definitely
not your hackmigos.

370
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,475
And before you murder us,

371
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,910
you should know
that we have a child!

372
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,113
He probably has
eight or nine!

373
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,082
What? Murder?

374
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:18,018
I wanted to give you a check.

375
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,588
For $100,000...

376
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,491
for coming up with the idea
of the Three Hackmigos with me.

377
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,661
I brought you down here
to show you all my inventory.

378
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,065
Business has really exploded.

379
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,666
(laughs)

380
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,735
I mean, I'm sort
of the Mark Zuckerberg

381
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,671
of jam-band concert
parking lot athletics.

382
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:39,772
Well, second.

383
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,342
But I'm coming for you,
Devil Stick Ron.

384
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,378
(screaming)

385
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,814
Why would you fire me?

386
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,117
Because nobody should be
as happy as you are.

387
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:56,089
And also your cookies...
they're only pretty good.

388
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,125
(gasps)

389
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,030
Robin, is this really about me?

390
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,000
(voice breaking):
No, it's not.

391
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:17,210
The old "fire and bang."
Respect, Scherbatsky.

392
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,883
Hey, Ted, I see
you're holding a little
version of your building.

393
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,053
So I assume it all worked out?

394
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,888
I realized, since I work
in a three-dimensional medium,

395
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,158
the only way to really stick it
to Vinick would be

396
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,026
with a three-dimensional model.

397
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,961
Whatever you do,
don't march in there

398
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,829
thinking, "I'm
gonna do the worm.

399
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:37,830
That'll show 'em!"

400
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:39,966
Seriously, guys,

401
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,302
I can't stress enough
how bad my prom was.

402
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,537
Speaking of the past...

403
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:47,840
Wow, we feel like idiots.
We're sorry.

404
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,210
You know, honestly,
it's fine.

405
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,011
Look how great I'm doing.

406
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,913
Look at what I've built.
I don't need

407
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,382
the validation
of some people from college

408
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,683
to feel good about myself.

409
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,985
My life is amazing!

410
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,854
I own a timeshare in
St. Barts with P-Funk!

411
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,490
The, the whole band?

412
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,058
Yeah.

413
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,060
Do you guys jam?

414
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:10,697
That's all we do.

415
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,031
(all gasp)

416
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,066
So, you completely rejected

417
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,434
the guy who's been obsessing

418
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,171
about you for 16 years,
and he was okay with it?

419
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,706
Whoa.

420
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:23,343
Is creepy Daryl more emotionally
adjusted than I am?

421
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,512
NARRATOR:
Kids, sometimes in life

422
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,847
you'll make a pit
for someone in your mind.

423
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:32,919
But ultimately the only person
in that pit is yourself.

424
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,256
I'm sorry.

425
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:39,259
Just seeing you with Barney
has brought up

426
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,228
some old feelings,
and I...

427
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,363
I really don't like feelings.

428
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,300
But that's not your fault
or Barney's fault.

429
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,104
It's just really hard
seeing you with him.

430
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:54,574
* There's been a book
on the side of the bed... *

431
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,943
NARRATOR:
Which means there's
only one person

432
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,846
who can let you out of the pit.

433
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:07,154
* Many years from now

434
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,956
* I know you'll hear me
somehow... *

435
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:13,293
So you fired Patrice?

436
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,162
No, she's staying.

437
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:20,967
* The places we will go...

438
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:25,138
Let's get out of here, guys.

439
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,073
Oh, Mr. Mosby.

440
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,008
You built a model
of your building.

441
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,109
No.

442
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,812
Why? To prove
some sort of point?

443
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,147
This is just sad.

444
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,682
No, no,
I was just throwing it out.

445
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,185
Sure, you were.

446
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,486
No!

447
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,121
No, I-I-I had a
transcendent moment

448
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,957
where I found emotional clarity!

449
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,259
And I realize shouting that

450
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,196
makes it seem like
it's not true, but I did!

451
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,964
Yeah, we're gonna grab
some snacks.

452
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,633
You guys want anything?

453
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,603
Spicy beef jerky.

454
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,538
Got you loud and clear.

455
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,907
(sighs)

456
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,145
Oh, my God!
Barney!

457
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,347
You unjinxed me!

458
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,115
I'm free! If the bison

459
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,150
on the nickel could hear you
talk about them,

460
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,985
they would diminish their
population even further
on purpose.

461
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,722
If Lily wants a big wiener in
her mouth, she's got my number.

462
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,057
And I'm sorry that you took the
rap for all the farting on

463
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,692
the car ride up here.
That was me! (sighs)

464
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,828
The ring!
What's, what's, what's the ring?

465
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,631
Right, the ring. I'm gonna ask
Patrice to marry me.

466
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,632
BOTH:
Are you serious?

467
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,567
Jinx! Good!

468
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,636
I need to say some things
without you interrupting.

469
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:33,172
Yes, I am serious.
I know that if you could talk,

470
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:34,807
you'd say that I'm crazy

471
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,209
or that I'm overcorrecting
or that I'm moving too fast.

472
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,544
But you would be wrong.

473
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,179
Look, I have banged my way
through every bimbo

474
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,014
in the tristate area,
and it left me

475
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,183
feeling nothing but, but broken.

476
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:47,254
But now, with Patrice,

477
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,890
for the first time in my life,
I feel settled and happy.

478
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,159
I want to feel this way forever.

479
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,028
So tomorrow night on the roof

480
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,430
of the World Wide News
building--

481
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:58,931
that's Patrice's favorite spot--

482
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,767
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.

483
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,002
Ah, poot-tu-tat!
You're jinxed.

484
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,104
I'll unjinx you if you'll follow
these two rules:

485
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,173
one: you can't try to talk me
out of it,

486
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:11,878
and two: you can't tell anybody.
Agreed?

487
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,450
It's a jinx swear,
so if you break it,

488
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,586
I get to hit you in the nuts
three times

489
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,053
with a Wiffle ball bat.

490
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,792
Thank you... Ted.

491
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,630
Hey...

492
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,900
Hi, guys!

493
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,368
No. But you're jinxed!

494
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,970
I tricked Ted
into saying my name.

495
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,372
ALL:
Aw, come on, Ted!

496
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,140
Jinx! Jinx!
Ha-ha!

497
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:45,478
The reign of terror
is back! (evil laugh)

498
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:48,114
Hey, if you guys don't want me
to smoke

499
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,782
or fart in here, just speak up.

500
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,250
Nothing? Great.

501
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:54,654
Thanks for the spicy
beef jerky, dude.

502
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:58,891
Anyway, I think we could
all use a little quiet.

503
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,295
Unless you have something
you want to talk about, Ted?

504
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:05,798
No.

505
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,202
Not happening, bro.