1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,504
Chester,
you're not even dressed.

2
00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,773
The reservation
is in 15 minutes.
Shh!

3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:06,907
He's back.

4
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,009
Every night,
at exactly 8:00 p.m.,

5
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:13,314
the well-dressed
blond man appears.

6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,283
Chuck and Joanne
are going to be waiting.

7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,851
You don't understand.
Every night, he does this.

8
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,754
Every single night.

9
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,956
He steps out
of his building,

10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,626
walks exactly seven paces,
stops...

11
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,129
and smiles.

12
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,110
Honey,
I'm worried about you.

13
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,711
Is he trying
to communicate with someone?

14
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:47,315
Is he trying
to communicate with me?
Why is he doing this?

15
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:51,485
But aside from not being able
to fart in the apartment,
how's living with Quinn?

16
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,053
Oh, it's great.

17
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,456
** [ Upbeat Pop ]

18
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,193
** [ Man Vocalizing ]

19
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,033
** [ Ends ]

20
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,436
Yeah, living with Quinn
is great.

21
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,839
Great, great, great.
Great.

22
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,907
- So how bad is it?
- Pretty bad.

23
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,944
Last night,
I had just come back
from my 8:00 fart.

24
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,479
- Sure.
- Go on.

25
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,314
Still no mail.

26
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,383
I think they only
deliver it once a day.

27
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:26,019
Hey, listen,
when I moved in here,
I sold all my stuff...

28
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,921
because I know you
like your place as is,

29
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,323
and I was totally
fine with that.

30
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,259
Just one little thing.

31
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,595
Would it be okay if instead
of using your coffee mugs,

32
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,629
we use mine?

33
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,599
Hmm.

34
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,334
No.

35
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,304
Barney, she got rid of all
of her stuff
for you.

36
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,473
Oh, I see what this
is really about.

37
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:47,708
Yeah, mugs.

38
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,178
Coffee? Tea?

39
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,313
All right. Religion.

40
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:57,285
This is about the fact
that you don't think
this relationship is gonna last.

41
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,853
That's why you don't want
to throw anything out.

42
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:04,292
Because when that
inevitable breakup comes,
you don't want to buy new mugs.

43
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,727
That's why I've
never thrown
anything out...

44
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,996
for any relationship ever.

45
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,998
Isn't that right,
honey?

46
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,734
Oh, that's right, I'm alone.

47
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,869
Lily, here's the thing.

48
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,305
It's my apartment,

49
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:20,341
and I need to assert
my dominance as a man.

50
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,177
Don't... ever say that...

51
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,746
to any girl ever.

52
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,981
Too late.

53
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,517
What did you just say to me?

54
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,519
She gave up her apartment
for you.

55
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,853
You know what?

56
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,756
I don't have to sit here
and take this from you ladies.

57
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,558
I'm goin'
to Ted's,

58
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,759
the man cave...

59
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,594
where guys can be guys.

60
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,030
-Assert your dominance as a man?
-You have no respect for women.

61
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,299
- You have a mother.
- You guys too?

62
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,935
I'm goin' to the "Y"
for a shvitz.

63
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,439
No, dude, hold on.
You're not goin'
anywhere.

64
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,708
It's trilogy time.
[ Gasps ]

65
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,445
[ Ted Narrating ]
Kids, here's the deal
with trilogy time.

66
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:01,181
It all started a long time ago
in a dorm room far, far away.

67
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,050
Dude, if we fail
this econ final,

68
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,185
for the rest of our lives,
we're not gonna be able to--

69
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,087
We won't know how to--

70
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,922
Do you even know
what econ is?

71
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,591
No idea.
We're screwed.

72
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:14,662
There's only
one thing left to do
at a time like this--

73
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,564
watch the entire
Star Wars trilogy
all the way through,

74
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,432
because I haven't done that
in, like, five years.

75
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,268
Dude, you can't
let that happen.

76
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,937
If you're not "tril-ing" it
at least once every three years,
the Dark Side wins.

77
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,606
Okay, let's make a pact.

78
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,508
No matter what,
every three years,

79
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,643
we sit down
and "tril" it up big time.

80
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,078
Agreed?

81
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,013
A-Greedo.

82
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,548
Wow.

83
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,451
2003?

84
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,253
What's that
gonna be like?

85
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,094
Hey, Ted.
Sweet hair.

86
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,164
I told you it would
eventually stop growing out
and start growing down.

87
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:55,202
Anyway, I'm just
working on designing
yet another skyscraper.

88
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:59,840
And I'm carrying
this briefcase because now
I'm a successful lawyer.

89
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:03,210
I like that.
Can I make one adjustment?

90
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,779
With a cool mustache.

91
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,147
Nice.

92
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,983
And who knows?
By then, you and Lily
might be engaged.

93
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,354
Engaged? Bro, I'm gonna
do way better than that.

94
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:17,758
Ah, being pregnant
is so much fun.

95
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,027
I want to do this
four more times.

96
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,531
Oh, baby, how do you feel
after spending all day
working on your art?

97
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,266
Since I make enough
to support us
both financially.

98
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,436
Horny.

99
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,605
I hope we don't bother you,
Ted, because even though
we're married and pregnant,

100
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:36,009
it still makes sense
that we all share
adult-size bunk beds.

101
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:40,581
So... Star Wars?

102
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,384
Sure. I don't have to be at work
until late afternoon-ish...

103
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:47,421
because my boss
appreciates that I like
to stay up late drinking...

104
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:51,058
and... rocking out
with our band.

105
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,794
Did someone say
"rockin' out"?

106
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,696
** [ Funk ]

107
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:00,167
Whoa. Who's the babe?

108
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,269
That's the best part.

109
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,872
Guys, you remember
my awesome girlfriend,

110
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,408
- who was a virgin
until we met?
- Mmm.

111
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,710
My name's Rhiannon,
like the Stevie Nicks song.

112
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:13,481
I'm hot, but in a crunchy,
earthy kind of way.

113
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,216
[ British Accent ]
Oh, and I'm from England.

114
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,386
Nice.
Okay, Star Wars time.

115
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,822
But first... we jam.

116
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:25,225
Good thing I spent
the last three years
learning to wail on guitar.

117
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,795
** [ Rock ]

118
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,732
Babe.

119
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:32,633
Yep.

120
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,702
Our band
is gonna be in demand.

121
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,471
And luckily,
there'll be
plenty of supply.

122
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,240
Supply? Demand?

123
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,143
Dude, do you realize
what we just did?

124
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,178
We used econ.

125
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,615
We're gonna ace
this final.

126
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,484
[ Ted Narrating ]
We both got zeros.

127
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:55,088
Oh, dude, 2003
is gonna be awesome.

128
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,496
** [ Plunking, Off-key ]

129
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,399
"Satisfaction"?

130
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,200
"Hot Cross Buns."

131
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,169
Well, keep it up, bro.

132
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,138
So, you ready
to watch the trilogy?

133
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,407
Oh, I don't know.

134
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:17,010
I really thought that
by now I'd be a lawyer
with a kick-ass mustache.

135
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,713
But I still haven't
gotten into law school,

136
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,583
and my facial hair
just grows in patchy.

137
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:24,985
Just red and patchy.

138
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,155
Come on, your life's
not that bad.

139
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,823
Dude,
I manage a Structure.

140
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,560
Yeah, but you get
10% off vests.
I mean, that's something.

141
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:35,463
The vests are pretty sweet,
but, look, Lily and I
aren't married...

142
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,130
and we don't have a baby
on the way.

143
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:40,901
But we did get
the cool apartment.
That we can barely afford.

144
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:44,237
I mean, I don't see any way
that our lives are better now
than they were three years ago.

145
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,607
[ Barney ]
Oh, really, Marshall?
Nothing comes to mind?

146
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,642
By the way, guys,
this is Lisa.

147
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,745
You'll be seeing
a lot more of Lisa.

148
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,749
And they never
saw her again.

149
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,918
Whazzup?

150
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,488
Okay, three years ago,

151
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,323
we had this whole fantasy
about how great our lives
were gonna be,

152
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,792
and it didn't pan out.

153
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,794
But I'm tellin' you,
three years from now,

154
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,896
when we're watchin'
the trilogy in 2006,

155
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,499
our lives
are gonna be awesome.

156
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,469
** [ Orchestra: Classical ]

157
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,608
Ah, hello, Ted.

158
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,009
I'm an environmental
lawyer now.

159
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,011
Sure, it's not the most
lucrative field,

160
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,979
but luckily I have
the cash and prizes...

161
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:29,016
from my historic
seven-week run...

162
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,018
on Wheel of Fortune.

163
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,554
Can I make just
one little adjustment?

164
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:37,057
For which I was knighted
by Her Majesty the Queen.

165
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,092
Ah, Lady Aldrin.

166
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,261
Oh, Sir Marshall.

167
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,898
I cannot wait to get
a house down the street
from your parents...

168
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,569
so we can be close to your mom,
whom I get along with now.

169
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,070
[ Chuckles ]

170
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,471
But here's the best part.

171
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,473
Rhiannon. Hurry.

172
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:58,078
Just because I designed
the opera house doesn't mean
they'll hold the curtain for us.

173
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,548
[ Chuckles ]
Just kidding.
Of course it does.

174
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,650
Take your time, my love.

175
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,119
Hey, guys,
it's me again.

176
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:10,624
I'm pretty much the same
as last time, only now
I'm super rich and fancy.

177
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,693
Oh.
[ Speaking French ]

178
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,628
- [ Tittering ]
- [ Tittering ]

179
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,598
And it still makes sense
that we all live together.

180
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,733
[ Laughing ]

181
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,836
What about you, Barney?
Any predictions for 2006?

182
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,272
Oh, yeah.
Picture it.

183
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,340
By the way, guys,
this is Jodie.

184
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,243
You'll be seeing
a lot more of Jodie.

185
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,679
[ Chuckling ]

186
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,247
And they never
saw her again.

187
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,917
Whazzup?

188
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:40,220
How is that any different
from your life right now?

189
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,155
It's not.
I'm K.F.C., baby.

190
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,658
You don't mess with
the colonel's recipe.

191
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:48,228
I want things
to stay exactly the same,
but with a different hottie.

192
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,698
'Cause Barney don't slurp
no sloppy seconds,

193
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,767
especially his own.

194
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,037
Okay, the bottom line is
things are gonna get better.

195
00:08:57,104 --> 00:09:00,708
All I care about
is getting into law school.
You will.

196
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,276
2006 is gonna be awesome.

197
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,382
And look what happened.

198
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,786
You got into law school,
just like I said you would.

199
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,122
See? Things aren't so bad.

200
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,357
Lily left me.

201
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,728
[ Sobbing ]
And now I'll never
have a mustache.

202
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,802
Ah, baby,
there you are.

203
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:33,140
I have spent all day thinking
about all the naughty, naughty
things you and I are gonna do--

204
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,574
to cheer up Marshall.

205
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,677
Like what?

206
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:40,047
Um, uh, I'll let you guys
hang out, okay?

207
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,850
Um, I'll just be waiting
in the bedroom.

208
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,551
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I'm sorry.

209
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,219
I didn't mean that
to sound like...

210
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,455
"Ted and I are gonna
do it" kind of thing.

211
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,658
Okay?
[ Mouths Words ]

212
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,862
Okay. Okay. See ya.

213
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,397
Marshall, this will pass.
Trust me.

214
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,199
Three years from now--

215
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:06,139
Briefcase, lawyer,
knighthood, mustache,
all that stuff from before.

216
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,607
Congratulations, bro.

217
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,111
And congratulations
to you, too, Ted,
for locking this down.

218
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,047
You know what's weird?

219
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,684
I never thought
I would get married,
but you talked me into it.

220
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,819
Or rather,
banged me into it.

221
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,654
[ Giggles ]
You're so good in bed.
Ooh.

222
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,756
[ Both Moaning ]

223
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,358
How is this
helping me?
I'm getting to it.

224
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,797
In three years, not only
will Lily be back, but--

225
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:33,500
Ah, it's so nice
to be married
to a wonderful guy...

226
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,236
and be carrying
his child.

227
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,672
I think you're being
kind of optimistic, Ted.

228
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,274
Can I make
one little adjustment?

229
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,812
Ah, it's so nice
to be married
to a wonderful guy...

230
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,714
and carrying
his child.

231
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,982
And here he is now.

232
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:52,853
Guys, I want you to meet
some douchey guy named Trey.

233
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,422
'Sup, brah?
Mmm.

234
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:59,659
I don't know what I love more--
his thick mustache
or his trucker hat.

235
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,929
You know
I hate those hats.

236
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,364
Then you're really gonna
hate this sonogram.

237
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:11,204
No!

238
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:15,642
No!

239
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,146
A baby in a trucker hat.
That's awesome.

240
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,883
Anyway, Ted's right.
2009 is gonna rule.

241
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,785
By the way, guys,
this is Maya.

242
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,721
You'll be seeing
a lot more of Maya.

243
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:33,093
And they never
saw her again.
Whazzup?

244
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,495
Okay, seriously,
at least tell me
you're gonna change...

245
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:38,598
the what will by then be
nine-year-old beer commercial
reference.

246
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:42,435
There's gotta be at least
one way that you'd like
the future to be different.

247
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,172
I guess there is
one thing.

248
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:48,876
By the way, guys, this is Maya.
You'll be seeing
a lot more of Maya.

249
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,144
And not because of these.

250
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,047
Because of these.

251
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,216
Back boobs.

252
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,251
The visual stimulation
of missionary...

253
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,653
meets the emotional detachment
of doggie style.

254
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,190
Patent pending.
Whazzup?

255
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,325
The point is, Marshall,

256
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,029
this time in three years,
everything is gonna be great.

257
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,435
See? Lily came back.

258
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:19,339
Of course, Robin and I
didn't end up together.

259
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,974
But I did get engaged...

260
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,943
and left at the altar.

261
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,512
But I did start my own
architectural firm.

262
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,980
And it failed
after two months.

263
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,082
Can we put
the movie on, please?
Yeah. Sure, buddy.

264
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,717
Hey, by the way,
where is Robin?

265
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,820
[ Ted Narrating ]
In the summer of 2009,

266
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,955
Barney and Robin
were secretly dating.

267
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:38,525
Oh. Uh, Barney says she's
taking some extension class
in how to decoupage,

268
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,994
and Barney's taking
a different decoupage class
in the same building.

269
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,096
That's why they shared
that cab that one time.

270
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,466
[ Ted Narrating ]
We were idiots.

271
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,768
Wait a minute.

272
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,703
You're saying
that Barney Stinson...

273
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,840
is at a decoupage class?

274
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,209
That means
we can watch Star Wars
on his giant TV.

275
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,878
Punch it, Chewy.

276
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,516
[ Panting, Gasping ]

277
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,552
Oh. You're back
from decoupage.

278
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,954
What's decoupage?

279
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,389
Oh, uh, yeah,
I took that cab
there that one time.

280
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,891
Hold on.

281
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,094
Come on in.

282
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,632
Uh, we were hoping we could
watch the trilogy here.
Uh, sure.

283
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,768
But, uh,

284
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,703
first go look out
my, uh, bedroom window.

285
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,939
There's a, uh,

286
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,808
naked lady, uh,

287
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:31,211
jumping up and down
on a mini-trampoline...

288
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:35,415
in the apartment
across the, uh, street.

289
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,583
[ Gasps ]

290
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,157
Get me out
of this thing.
There's no time.

291
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,493
I'm not ready for them
to find out about us.

292
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,495
Then you're gonna
have to stay in there
for the entire trilogy.

293
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,530
Wha--
Don't worry.
It's only 382 minutes.

294
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,032
Nerd.

295
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:59,039
So where do you guys think
we'll be in three years?
It'll be 2012.

296
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:01,008
That's an easy one.

297
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:04,111
Guys, this is Sophia.
You'll be seeing a lot more of--
[ Glass Shatters ]

298
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,015
[ Marshall ]
Okay, that is so weird.

299
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,418
I was just trying
to use the Force.

300
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,721
I mean, do you think
instead of making a beer
fly out of the fridge,

301
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,856
I made that lamp break?

302
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,858
Either that
or the stormtrooper did.

303
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,928
[ Laughing ]

304
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,896
Oh, the stormtrooper
would never do that.

305
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:26,166
He knows that lamp
cost $1,200.

306
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,002
Anyway,
while it's just us guys,

307
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,737
let me ask you something.

308
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,806
We've all had
that same fantasy
about having sex...

309
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,976
with a girl in
a stormtrooper costume, right?

310
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,611
Mmm, no.
Never.

311
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,480
Guys.

312
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,982
Come on.
No girls around.

313
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,051
Just us bros.
Safe space.

314
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,454
Let's stop being polite
and start gettin' real.

315
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,557
Stormtrooper fantasy.
Every guy's had that one, right?

316
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,093
Not even once, no.
No. No.

317
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,895
So I'm the weird one?

318
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,765
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

319
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,835
How about you, Ted?
How's your life gonna be
different in, what, three years?

320
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,005
Oh, you know,
the usual.

321
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,207
Gonna meet a nice girl
and get married.

322
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,410
I mean, I know
I say that every year,
but let's be honest.

323
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,412
In 2012, I'll be 34.

324
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,714
If it still hasn't
happened for me by then,

325
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,849
something is seriously
wrong with me.

326
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,119
[ Laughing ]

327
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:22,155
You know?
Seriously.

328
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,698
Something is seriously
wrong with me.

329
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,571
I can't do this
anymore.

330
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,641
I can't keep smiling
and being optimistic
all the time...

331
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,977
when all the evidence
points to the contrary.

332
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:47,680
You really think that
three years from now,
things aren't gonna be awesome?

333
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:51,684
I'll tell you what
things are gonna be like
three years from now.

334
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,088
Uh, yes, hello.

335
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,658
I see on my
frozen entrée for one...

336
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,427
they printed this number...

337
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,363
where I can voice
comments and concerns.

338
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:08,168
Well, there's more cinnamon
in the cobbler than usual.

339
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,171
No, I like cinnamon.

340
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,975
Mmm, you're very welcome
for my comment.

341
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,545
Wait, uh, don't go.

342
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,982
Um, do you like cinnamon?

343
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,684
Hello? Hello?

344
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,826
Marshall, you want
to watch Star Wars?

345
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,228
No can do, old bean.

346
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,896
You see,
we're up on the Cape,

347
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:40,033
living the idyllic
family lifestyle that
you've always dreamed of.

348
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,271
Oh, and I'm pregnant
with baby number five.

349
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,339
Baby number four
isn't even out yet.

350
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,408
I'm just that good.
[ Chuckles ]

351
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,010
Oh, hold on.
There's somebody
wants to say hello to you.

352
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,582
Hey, Ted,
I just wanted to say
that things are great...

353
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,718
and I'm married
to that douchey guy
in the trucker hat.

354
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,187
Whassup, brah?

355
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:05,058
It turns out it was just you
I didn't want to commit to.

356
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,160
[ All Laughing ]

357
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,063
Oh, and I got back boobs.
[ Giggling ]

358
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,965
So things are great.
Buh-bye.

359
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,968
[ Squeals ]
[ All Laughing ]

360
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,837
[ Beeps ]

361
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,872
By the way, Ted,
this is Melanie.

362
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:22,008
You'll be seeing
a lot more of Melanie.

363
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,444
W-W-Wait a minute.
Who is Melanie?

364
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,613
Barney, if there's
one thing I can count on
not to change,

365
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,249
it's you walking in
with some random girl
on your arm.

366
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,818
No. No, I don't want that.

367
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,387
For the first time
in my life,

368
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,257
I don't want
to find myself in three years
with some random girl,

369
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,058
no matter how many boobs
she has.

370
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,628
I want to be with Quinn.

371
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,868
Guys, you're gonna be
seeing a lot more of Quinn.

372
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,404
Dude, we've been
to the Lusty Leopard.
We've seen plenty.

373
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,840
I kind of
walked into that one.
All right, buh-bye.

374
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,415
What are you doing?
We're living together.
I'm excited about it.

375
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,517
And I'm gettin' rid
of my mugs.

376
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:09,722
That was mine.
Sorry. I don't know
which are which.

377
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,659
The truth is, I never
drink coffee at home.

378
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,528
This one?
Mm-hmm.

379
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,131
There.
I don't need my coffee mugs
'cause I got yours.

380
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,267
For the rest of my life.

381
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,336
Or as long
as you'll have me.

382
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,438
We haven't really
talked about the future.

383
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,307
Did I make things
awkward?

384
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,842
Just keep smashing mugs.
[ Chuckles ]

385
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,312
Or donate them.

386
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:36,283
The point is,
I plan on being with you
for a long time.

387
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,685
You okay with that?

388
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,258
[ Shatters ]
Sounds great.

389
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,596
Ooh.
Ohh.
[ Farts ]

390
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,734
I am so sorry.

391
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,569
No, no, it's great.

392
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,306
A guy has to be
the first one
to let it rip.

393
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,274
I was actually hoping
this would happen soon.

394
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,810
I've been crop-dusting
the patio for weeks.

395
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,612
The patio.

396
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,614
I've been going out
on the street.

397
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,750
Like exactly this time,
every night.

398
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,152
Where are you,
blond man?

399
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,422
Show yourself.

400
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,789
I'll be at my mother's.

401
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,693
We're a real couple now,
aren't we?

402
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,729
We are.

403
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,266
[ Farts ]
[ Farts, Gasps ]

404
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,569
Mmm.

405
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,605
Hey, buddy,
I get that you're bummed.

406
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:36,008
But I-I got a good feeling
about 2015.

407
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,245
I think that's
gonna be your year.

408
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,146
[ Ted Narrating ]
Kids, that was the one time...

409
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:44,651
I ever lost faith in the idea
that my life would be
better in three years.

410
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:49,456
And what's funny is,
three years from that moment,
my life was amazing.

411
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,525
-All right. It's trilogy time.
-Can I just lodge one complaint?

412
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:56,563
This is a guys tradition.
It's kind of a lame move
on Ted's part to bring a chick.

413
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,198
Come on, dude.
Cut him some slack.

414
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,500
I know.
He loves her.

415
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,236
And I'll give him this--
she is pretty damn cute.

416
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,572
Thank God
she takes after her mother.

417
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,207
All right.
Let's watch this thing.

418
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:14,747
TV, play Star Wars trilogy.

419
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:19,552
Play Star Wars tril--

420
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,254
You know what?
Screw it.

421
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:26,826
Okay, you are about
to see something awesome.

422
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,361
And just know this--

423
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,497
Han shot first.

424
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,898
[ Whispers ]
It's true.

425
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,301
I wonder if things
will be a lot different...

426
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,737
when we watch the trilogy
again in 2018.

427
00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:39,806
I hope not.

428
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:49,782
[ Gasping, Panting ]
Oh, that was awesome.

429
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,020
You were right.
Not weird.

430
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,323
No.
[ Chuckling ]

431
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,792
[ Moaning ]