1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,204 Dad, we need to talk. 2 00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:05,706 - Is it about the bees? - Bees? 3 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,509 We're throwing a housewarming party in two weeks. 4 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,611 Oh. It's gonna be friends, neighbors. 5 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,880 Did he say-- Did he say bees? Yeah. 6 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:16,350 Anyway, Marshall's been working very long hours lately, 7 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:20,221 so I have been planning this whole party by myself, and everything's in place-- 8 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,090 the food, the wine. 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,592 I even found a rare Gouda on the Internet. 10 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,727 - Ah. - Getting back to these bees. 11 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:29,763 Bottom line-- this party is very important to me. 12 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:33,567 So I can only assume-- and I say this with love-- 13 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,003 you're gonna ruin it. 14 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,506 Lily, I promise I won't ruin your party. 15 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,775 I'll be charming and convivial. A regular Burt Reynolds. 16 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:44,945 - You have absolutely nothing to worry-- - Tell us about the bees! 17 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,047 Well, all right, since you asked. 18 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:51,552 I'm starting up a business cultivating all-organic, artisanal honey. 19 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,921 That's right. I'm a job creator. 20 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,923 Oh. So this party-- 21 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:59,793 No, Lily, wait. Um, if you don't mind, I have one follow-up. 22 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,331 Where are you doing this exactly? 23 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,167 Downstairs. There's 10,000 bees in the basement. 24 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,604 ** [ Upbeat Pop ] 25 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,142 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] 26 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,948 ** [ Ends ] 27 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,451 Why would you even say that? That's the most ridic-- [ Shouting ] 28 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,219 [ Together ] Happy housewarming! 29 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,255 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 30 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:30,324 Robin here spent all day learning how to make kugel. 31 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,726 Couldn't figure it out. This is from Zabar's. 32 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,464 Can we heat it up in your oven? Faster than heating it up in the refrigerator. 33 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,732 I've had a few cocktails. [ Ted ] Yeah. 34 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,469 I've got it. Take that. 35 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:44,172 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, some day you're gonna throw a party, 36 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:47,808 and you might find yourself worrying that something's gonna go wrong. 37 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,310 Well, don't. 38 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,812 What you should worry about is everything going wrong. 39 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,917 And what's really scary is how quickly that can happen. 40 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,387 At Lily and Marshall's housewarming party, for instance-- 41 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,789 [ Beeping ] it only took five minutes. 42 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,393 Now, a lot happened in those five minutes. 43 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,861 You know what? I'm gonna take this room by room. 44 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,898 [ Beeps ] We'll start in the living room. 45 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,400 ** [ "Flight of the Bumblebee" ] 46 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,736 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 47 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,171 What? Oh, nothing. 48 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,939 So you think this is going pretty well? 49 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,541 Baby, are you kidding? 50 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,476 You single-handedly pulled off the party of the year. 51 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,246 Oh, stop it. I used both hands. 52 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,680 [ Chuckles ] So what can I do to help? 53 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,717 Honey, this is your first night off in however long. 54 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,453 You just relax and keep knocking back those cocktails. 55 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,021 [ Laughs ] Mr. Cootes. 56 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,223 Hey, isn't it nice... 57 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,457 to finally have a night off? 58 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,826 It is. But tonight is not that night. 59 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,362 Uh, we're going back to the office in 45 minutes. 60 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,397 But, sir, this is our housewarming party. 61 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,234 You know, Mother Earth is also having... 62 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,536 a housewarming party too. 63 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:52,406 Only hers ends in humankind at the bottom of a rising ocean... 64 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,842 passing through the digestive tract of a sting ray. 65 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,645 By the way, it's a lovely home. 66 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,981 Mr. Cootes, I know you're a vegan, 67 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:05,253 so I got some vegan spring rolls for you over there. 68 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:06,954 Oh, nummies! 69 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,190 You're going back to work? 70 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:13,026 Geez, Marshall, you are as busy as a-- 71 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:16,129 Oh, gosh. What are you as busy as? 72 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,765 Please don't talk about the bees. 73 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:21,369 I was gonna say Nicolas Cage. That guy is in everything. 74 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,704 Let's just put on some music. 75 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,477 - ** [ Rock ] - I'll bring out the Gouda. 76 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,812 We'll open a couple bottles of wine... 77 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,314 that are in the basement. 78 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,383 All right. I'll get my beekeeper's suit. 79 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,150 You should be happy about the bees. 80 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,652 They're keeping the mice at bay. 81 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,553 We have mice? 82 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,289 Not with all these bees flying around, we don't. 83 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,323 You're welcome. 84 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,628 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 85 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,002 Are you a vegan? What? 86 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,738 Ooh-whee! Kitchen. Now! 87 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,740 What? 88 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,410 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 89 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:06,046 Are... you... a... vegan? 90 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,081 Um, no. 91 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:12,720 Uh-huh. And when you were shoveling the spring rolls down your gullet, 92 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:16,189 did you happen to notice a little sign next to the plate marked "Vegan"? 93 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,725 I-I think there's been some mistake. 94 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,993 You could've had anything on that table! 95 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,297 Anything at all! 96 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,265 Mini pizzas. 97 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,401 Bacon-wrapped figs. Pigs in blankets. 98 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,670 There was even talk of an inbound Gouda. 99 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,305 But no, no. 100 00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:34,675 You had to have the one thing that someone with my dietary preferences can eat! 101 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,010 Look, I didn't eat the spring rolls. 102 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,579 Liar! 103 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,482 Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit! 104 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:48,121 Okay, okay. Maybe I did eat your precious spring rolls. 105 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:52,826 Ohh. What are you gonna do about it, hippie? 106 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,697 - [ Woman Screams ] - It's fine. Everything's fine. 107 00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,600 Young man-- [ Deep Breath ] 108 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,235 are you suggesting fisticuffs? 109 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,272 As in with our fists? And feet. 110 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,107 I'm a kicker. 111 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,576 Well, well. 112 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:12,680 Looks like I just started eating white meat again. 113 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:17,117 I will bite and scratch you like a wolverine. 114 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,487 May I warn you, 115 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,922 I have been in a fight before. 116 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,392 So have I, sort of. 117 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,427 Oh, God. 118 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,397 Oh, Mr. Cootes? 119 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:32,966 Hi. Did you see that we had hummus and veggies? 120 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,636 There's hummus and veggies? Over there. 121 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,305 Hey, I'm not gonna let that guy push me around! 122 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,674 I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote, 123 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,510 "Never give up. Never surrender." 124 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:43,911 Shut up, Ted. Okay. 125 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,614 For God's sake, Lily. You're pregnant. 126 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:52,420 [ Grunts ] For God's sake, Ted. Lily's pregnant. 127 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,923 [ Grunts ] 128 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,257 Oh, man. 129 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,259 Sorry about that. 130 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,928 I don't need this right now, Ted. 131 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,696 I shouldn't do this. 132 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:03,997 I shouldn't do this. What? 133 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,401 This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. 134 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,037 What is? I should just go. I should just go! 135 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,640 Okay, okay. Just tell me what is going on. 136 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,308 I love my penis, Robin. 137 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,511 Barney, you promised! 138 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,080 I do! I love it! 139 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,483 If I could kiss it, I would! 140 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,018 I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't tried. 141 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,154 I'm not comfortable with this conversation. 142 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:30,624 Oh, come on, Robin! It's my penis we're talking about. 143 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,726 You've seen her. She's magnificent! 144 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,262 "She"? Every penis is a girl, Robin. 145 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,097 Everyone knows that. 146 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:41,268 Like ships and lake monsters. 147 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,203 And Gouda! 148 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,306 She's a "beaut-a." Ooh, Gouda. 149 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,509 Well, I'll be back. 150 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:51,411 Most of me anyway. 151 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:53,714 Don't eat that. Whoops. 152 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:57,485 Oh! It's ruined! It's not ruined. Ten-second rule. 153 00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,320 Eight, nine, 10. And it's ruined. 154 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,723 This whole party's ruined. 155 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,158 I got a basement full of bees, 156 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,695 and Ted almost got into a fight with Mr. Cootes. 157 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,464 Lily, look around. Everyone's having an amazing time. 158 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,032 It's a great party. 159 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:16,003 [ Timer Beeping ] Okay. Maybe it's not a total disaster. 160 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,539 [ Screaming ] 161 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,641 [ Man ] * I'm burning, I'm burning I'm burning for you * 162 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,543 What the hell was that? 163 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,316 [ Screaming ] 164 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,752 [ Ted Narrating ] So that's what happened in the living room. 165 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,053 [ Beeps ] 166 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,556 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the dining room. 167 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,224 ** [ "Flight of the Bumblebee" ] 168 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,627 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 169 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,497 Man, I can't believe these are vegan! 170 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:47,034 I've had like 20 of 'em! I should get the name of this caterer. 171 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,737 It's my kitten's bat mitzvah next week. 172 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,839 She's finally becoming a cat. 173 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:56,243 Oh, God, you are crazy... about cats. 174 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,780 Cats are so honest and real with their affections. 175 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,816 Ever since my divorce, it's been one liar after another. 176 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:06,620 That's why it's so refreshing to meet someone honest like you, 177 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,022 Special Agent Gary Powers. 178 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:14,094 Listen, I think we can agree... there's something here. 179 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,996 Something big... 180 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:19,933 that looks and probably feels real. 181 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,004 Maybe we can go back to your place? 182 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,107 I can't ask you to delay intercepting those asteroids. 183 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,643 I do need to intercept those asteroids. 184 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,245 I think we need to have sex right now. Y-- 185 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,515 Meet me in the upstairs guest bedroom in two minutes. 186 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:38,552 [ Chuckles ] [ Laughing ] 187 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,754 I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls. 188 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,956 Last one. Sorry. Two minutes. 189 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,092 Mmm. How can they all be gone? 190 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,294 The party just started. I know, right? 191 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,196 Let's just put on some music. 192 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,433 ** [ Rock ] I'll bring out the Gouda. 193 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:57,204 We'll open a couple bottles of wine... that are in the basement. 194 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,973 Some jerk was just here, and he was all, like, 195 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,776 "I can't believe these are vegan! I've had like 20 of 'em!" 196 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:06,013 Point me into the direction of this scoundrel. 197 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,716 Um, it was that guy. 198 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,251 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 199 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,456 Lily, these spring rolls? Ooh-whee! 200 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,191 Kitchen. Now. 201 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,929 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 202 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:26,133 It's time somebody took him aside and told him this is not how you treat your staff. 203 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,770 Well, I'm sort of busy with the party right now. Fine. I'll do it myself. 204 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:33,073 But he's gonna scream at me, and you know that I can't stand up to screaming. 205 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,175 - Just go talk to him! - I should go talk to him. 206 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:41,682 - Barney. - Oh, Lily. Ted ate all the spring rolls. 207 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,517 You could've had anything on that table! 208 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,554 Mini pizzas. Bacon-wrapped figs. 209 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:51,524 Pigs in blankets. There was even talk of an inbound Gouda. 210 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,260 Robin! Okay, listen. I need your help. 211 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,562 I'm about to get in a screaming match with my boss, 212 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,699 and I'm not good at being screamed at, so I need you to warm me up. 213 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,168 How? I want you to scream at me. 214 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,937 You know, like you do to strangers on the street at the slightest provocation. 215 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,039 [ Scoffs ] I don't do that. Come on! 216 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,976 Lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me. 217 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,178 Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout trying to sell you cookies. 218 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,347 Four dollars a box and you're out of Thin Mints? You green little-- 219 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,216 I don't do that. 220 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,018 Come on! Scream at me. 221 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,720 [ Woman Screams ] Like that. 222 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,488 It's fine. Everything's fine. 223 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:25,458 Marshall, there is plenty of stuff I don't get mad about. 224 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,161 [ Chuckles ] Like the fact that you're serving pigs in blankets... 225 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,030 without hot mustard. 226 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:33,000 I'm not the type of person to be driven crazy by a host... 227 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,568 who refuses to provide delicious hot mustard... 228 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,137 in which to dip my pigs in blankets! 229 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,572 I'm the type of girl who-- [ Deep Breath ] keeps her cool. 230 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,074 Who keeps her cool. 231 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:45,412 [ Exhales ] Hey, oh. Baby, are you okay? 232 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,514 Of course. Oh, this party is great. 233 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,851 I am handling this. Oh, God. 234 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,320 [ Murmurs ] 235 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,355 No. 236 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:59,326 Hummus and veggies. I'm looking for hummus and veggies. 237 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,095 Can I talk to you about something very dear to me? 238 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,031 Promise me this isn't about your penis. 239 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,800 I promise it isn't about my penis. 240 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,668 I'm sorry, dude. 241 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,840 Excuse me, sir. Could I talk to you in the kitchen? 242 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,015 Sorry about that. I don't need this right now, Ted. 243 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,551 I swear, if there is one more crisis-- 244 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,186 Well, the bees escaped their enclosure, 245 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,722 but no reason to "bee" concerned. 246 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,058 [ Chuckling ] 247 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,993 No, there is. We're in big trouble. 248 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:36,764 What is that smell? Oh, I doused my suit with kerosene. 249 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,498 All beekeepers do this. 250 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,534 Dad, just take off the suit right now. All right, fine. 251 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:45,505 Every 30 seconds, there's another crisis that needs to be dealt with, 252 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,274 and I have to deal with it. 253 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,942 This is-- 254 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,711 Oh, God. This is parenthood, isn't it? 255 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:54,782 So they say. Okay, it's official. 256 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,750 I thought I could do it, but I can't. 257 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,819 No. Marshall's always at work. 258 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,687 He's gotta go back tonight, and I don't know... 259 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,157 if I can handle a life that's just one crisis after another. 260 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,359 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of-- 261 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,728 - Gouda! - God. 262 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,363 Crisis? Crisis. 263 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,167 Don't eat that. Whoops. 264 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,669 Gouda's out, Ted. Don't sleep on the Gouda. Wouldn't dream of it. 265 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,007 So Lily told me you have to go back to work tonight? I don't have to go to work. 266 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,775 Mr. Cootes and I came to an understanding. 267 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,310 But, hey, what's going on with Robin? 268 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,213 I called her a mean son of a bitch, and she took it all weird. 269 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,647 She did? Yeah. 270 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,382 Crazy, right? 271 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,352 Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever. 272 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,687 Everybody's abuzz. 273 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,157 "Abuzz." Oh, good one, Mickey. 274 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,260 Hey, you're right. Great party. [ Timer Beeping ] 275 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,997 [ Screaming ] 276 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,834 * I'm burning for you * 277 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,070 What the hell was that? 278 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,109 [ Screaming ] 279 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,245 [ Ted Narrating ] And that's what happened in the dining room. 280 00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,913 [ Beeps ] 281 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,082 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the kitchen. 282 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,716 ** [ "Flight of the Bumblebee" ] 283 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,820 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 284 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,990 Man, I can't believe these are vegan. 285 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,724 Back to our fight? Back to our fight. 286 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,194 I cannot believe you screamed at that woman at Zabar's. 287 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,897 She was trying to cut in line! She was gonna get the last kugel. 288 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:20,400 She was 90 years old. It was probably gonna be her last kugel. 289 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,370 Sometimes in life, you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself. 290 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,239 You called her a whore. Who wears that much makeup? 291 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,276 Old ladies! Who take money for sex. Exactly. 292 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,378 Look, I'm sorry. 293 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:34,081 If I would've left things in your dainty, lily-white, 294 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,249 "never ripped an old lady's wig off" hands, 295 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,485 we would be kugel-free right now. 296 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,020 Oh, so what-- I'm too nice? 297 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,688 You never stand up for yourself. 298 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,157 Remember that sixth grader who kept stealing your lunch? 299 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,927 High school was a tough time for me, okay? 300 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,661 And that-that girl was muscular! 301 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,563 Forearms like Popeye! 302 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,599 How-How do you even know about that? Marshall told me. 303 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,068 He also said that you had your mom stop making... 304 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,904 peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches... 305 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,838 because of that girl's nut allergy. 306 00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,773 I didn't wanna add to her health problems. 307 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,543 She was already in a wheelchair. 308 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:06,413 Okay, so what? I would rather be nice than be like you, 309 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,482 always getting in fights about stuff that's not even worth fighting about. 310 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,084 I disagree. 311 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,220 It's like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War-- 312 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,322 "Never give up. Never surrender." 313 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:18,225 That was Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest. Whatever, dude. 314 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:22,229 Your problem is, anytime you're faced with the least bit of confrontation, you run away. 315 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,564 Oh, I run away from confrontation? 316 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,172 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 317 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,507 [ Barney ] Ooh-whee! Whoops! 318 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:38,845 Son of a-- I'm sorry. Maybe that was my fault. 319 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:41,281 Ya think? You're right in my snack track. 320 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,917 Hey, nice beekeeper suit. 321 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,954 Do you know that, uh, most bees are left-handed? 322 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,322 Do you know that bees hate the smell of kerosene? 323 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,058 I knew that. Geez, what do you think? 324 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,825 This is my first day as a beekeeper? 325 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,828 - [ Zipper Zips ] - Nice. Oh. 326 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,331 Is that true about bees and kerosene? 327 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,033 I don't know. 328 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,202 Barney. Oh, Lily. 329 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,537 Ted ate all the spring rolls. 330 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,307 Barney, that woman you were talking to-- our neighbor Geraldine. 331 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,010 Some guy slept with her and didn't call her, 332 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:14,847 so she hunted him down and cut off a certain part of his anatomy... 333 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,716 with a cheese knife. 334 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:20,720 - [ Exhales ] - So whatever you do, don't sleep with her. 335 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,355 It's funny. 336 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,426 She is, uh, waiting for me in the guest bedroom right now. 337 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,261 Oh, God. Oh, God! 338 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,730 That was the idea, but now forget it! 339 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:35,202 Barney, this is a disaster. I swear, if there is one-- [ Gasps ] 340 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,971 It's fine. Everything's fine. Hey, 10-second rule, right? 341 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,040 [ Lily Screams ] 342 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,575 It's fine. Everything's fine. 343 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,278 Shoo. Shoo. Shoo! 344 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,780 I know you're pregnant, but you need a glass of wine. 345 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,416 I got that cheese off the Internet. 346 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,051 I know you got it off the Internet. 347 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,552 Why does that make it impressive? 348 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,187 You know what else you can find on the Internet? 349 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,888 Zoo animals masturbating. 350 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,391 There's one of a walrus. [ Chuckling ] 351 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,027 He's-- 352 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,397 Uh-- Uh-- 353 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,034 [ Sighs ] 354 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,869 [ Gasps, Hisses ] 355 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,772 [ Panting ] 356 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:15,142 No. 357 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,345 [ Bees Buzzing ] [ Exhales ] 358 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:22,249 Excuse me, sir. Can I talk to you in the kitchen? 359 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,521 [ Clears Throat ] 360 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:32,325 Mr. Cootes, I am not going back to work tonight. 361 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,761 Oh, no, she didn't just say that! 362 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,464 [ Laughing ] Mickey, can we just have a minute? 363 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,632 Oh, yeah, sure. 364 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,871 Marshall, look, I know when you started with this firm, 365 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,773 it was all fun and games. 366 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,710 The office chair races were particularly spirited, 367 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:54,281 until, of course, Gail went down the stairs. 368 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,118 But for one brief moment, boy, did she fly. 369 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:02,222 [ Sighs ] I'm not here. I'm not here. 370 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,691 Mr. Cootes, you are working yourself to death. 371 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:09,362 Just-- Cut loose a little. Have a beer. Find a hobby. 372 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,298 Look, son, it's very simple. 373 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,468 Um, Mother Earth doesn't get a night off. Neither do you. 374 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,637 Well, then I quit. 375 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,042 And I don't know if I can handle a life... 376 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,011 that's just one crisis after another. 377 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,347 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of-- 378 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,548 Gouda! 379 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,984 Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a hobby. 380 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,321 Well, hey, how about beekeeping? 381 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,556 Me? No. I don't know the first thing about bees. 382 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:40,260 Do you wanna know a secret? Neither do I. 383 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,596 It's not a secret. 384 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,099 Let me try this thing on. Let me give you some privacy. 385 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:49,169 Oh, thank you. Okay. 386 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,505 Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever. 387 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,174 Everybody's abuzz. 388 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,509 [ Bees Buzzing ] [ Alarm Beeping ] 389 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,146 Maybe it's not a total disaster. 390 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,413 Great party. 391 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:05,552 [ Gasps, Screaming ] 392 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,256 * I'm burning, I'm burning I'm burning for you * 393 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,291 [ Screaming Continues ] 394 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,962 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Mr. Cootes! 395 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,030 Mr. Cootes, are you okay? 396 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,700 That was amazing! 397 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,235 Did you see me? 398 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,305 I flew through the air like a human fireball and didn't get a scratch! 399 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,007 Eat your heart out, Gail! [ Laughs ] 400 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,410 God, I feel so alive! 401 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,245 I want to drink a beer. 402 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,881 Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. One beer coming right up. 403 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,617 Oh, and, uh, Marshall? 404 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:41,154 I-I think we'll take the night off tonight, okay? 405 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,989 Sounds good. Yeah. 406 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,225 But I'll see you Monday? 407 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:50,163 Of course. [ Sighs ] 408 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,666 You know, Robin, I've been thinking about it. 409 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,369 I guess it's kinda nice you're such a bad ass. 410 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,806 It's pretty bad ass you're so nice, Ted. 411 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,144 Was I supposed to close the basement door? 412 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,448 [ Bees Buzzing ] 413 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,527 God, this feels so right! 414 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,529 We're so great together. Well-- 415 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,797 I wanna spend every minute of every day with you. 416 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,899 I never wanna let you out of my sight for one second. 417 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,502 Not one second! Not one second! I don't! Ah! 418 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,939 God! My last lover was not like this. He was the worst. 419 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,276 Do you know, he didn't even come to my cat's bris? 420 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,779 I mean, what? Well, we showed him. Yes, we did. 421 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:43,883 Let's just say, the punishment fit the crime. 422 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,319 I can't wait to tell everybody that we're boyfriend and girlfriend! 423 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,620 [ Bees Buzzing ] Let's do it tonight! 424 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,290 No, it's Lily and Marshall's party. We'll wait. 425 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:53,460 We can do it at Mittens and Mr. Pepper's wedding! 426 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,662 Right? Or maybe something-- [ Buzzing ] 427 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,830 [ Barney Screaming ]