1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:03,003 [ Ticking Loudly ] 2 00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,738 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, Einstein was right. 3 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,507 Time moves at different speeds. 4 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,210 To Barney, the previous night raced by in a blur. 5 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,514 But then, all of a sudden, 6 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,349 time stopped. 7 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,585 This might be the worst thing I've ever done. 8 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:18,952 Hey, now. 9 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,889 You weren't at the top of your game, but it was still pretty-- 10 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,492 Oh, my God! I just cheated on Kevin! 11 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:28,329 He is the nicest guy ever. I'm a terrible person. 12 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,831 It's okay. We both cheated. 13 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,967 What's that saying about two wrongs making a right? 14 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,604 "Two wrongs don't make a right"? 15 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,239 No, that's not it. 16 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,442 Oh, my God. I just cheated on Nora! 17 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:44,044 How could I do this to her? What are we gonna do? I don't know. 18 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,513 Well-- [ Exhales ] 19 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,582 Can I ask you-- Did this mean anything? 20 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,784 Of course it did. 21 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,820 Of course it didn't. 22 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,922 Which one are you looking for? I could see it going either way. 23 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,890 It meant nothing. It meant nothing! 24 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,527 How could you say it meant nothing? Of course it meant something! 25 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,429 No, it didn't! It can't. [ Frustrated Grunt ] 26 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,498 Okay? You're with Nora, and I'm with Kevin, 27 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,535 and-- [ Sighs ] I have to go. 28 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,770 - Wait. What are we gonna tell them? - Nothing! 29 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,374 God, we made a horrible mistake, but it-it is over now. 30 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,177 There's no reason to hurt more people by talking about it. 31 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,513 You're asking me to lie? 32 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,749 That's fine. 33 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,885 Damn it. Nora and I have that work cruise tomorrow night. 34 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,720 We're all supposed to go together. 35 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,923 Okay, I know this is thinking way, way out of the box, 36 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,560 but what if-- and hear me out-- 37 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,994 we don't go? 38 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,629 No. 39 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,399 I-I just want this whole night to fade into history, 40 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,901 so we have to act like it never happened. 41 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:44,272 We should go. I mean, it's a three-hour boat ride. 42 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,574 What could happen? 43 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,076 I'm sure that's what Gilligan said. [ Thunderclap ] 44 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,612 ** [ Upbeat Pop ] 45 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:55,183 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] 46 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,889 ** [ Ends ] 47 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,760 Groovapalooza! 48 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,964 All the smug hippie bands from the '90s in one big concert. 49 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:14,168 Ah! Even the tickets smell like cloves and mediocrity. 50 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,937 And to really take us back, 51 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,807 I scored us a bag of, yes, mari-- 52 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,776 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, we used to do something before concerts to enjoy them more, 53 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:26,146 and that thing was to, uh, eat a sandwich. 54 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,881 ...nated steak subs! 55 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,250 Oh, yeah! 56 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:32,620 Well, as future parents, we'll pass on the sandwiches. 57 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,689 How could you even suggest such a thing, Ted? 58 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,591 [ Whispering ] I better get my 60 bucks back. 59 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,362 No sandwich? Marshall, it's a palooza! 60 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,163 We've eaten sandwiches at every palooza. 61 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,233 Lollapalooza. Funkapalooza. 62 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,735 Gender-diversity-awareness palooza, junior year. 63 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,170 Yeah, there were some real bitches there. 64 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,842 Okay, quick. Before Lily gets here, let's fire this up. 65 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,611 No way. I promised Lily that I would be responsible. 66 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,713 - You're not getting your 60 bucks back. - Give me that. 67 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,086 [ Choking, Coughing ] 68 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,788 ** [ Band: Smooth Jazz ] 69 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,823 ** [ Continues ] 70 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,425 How you holding up? 71 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,895 Well, I'm about to be trapped on a boat all night with the guy I cheated on, 72 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,065 the guy I cheated with and the girl that the guy I cheated with cheated on. 73 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,633 So, not super. 74 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,270 - Hi, Sandy. - You're welcome! 75 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:26,206 - I did not say "thank you." - Oh, you're too kind. 76 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,742 Too kind. Excuse me. 77 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,379 I should really try to have sex with that new intern. 78 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,748 [ Ted Narrating ] Robin's boss, Sandy Rivers, hosted this cruise every year, 79 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,850 mostly to hit on the new employees. 80 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:40,354 And he'd found a clever way to never spend a cent. 81 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,222 Up next, another four deaths... 82 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,758 in Arizona's record-breaking heat wave. 83 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,328 You want real record-breaking heat? 84 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:51,432 Try Kristoff's Jalapeño Coconut Vodka Martini. 85 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:54,302 Ow. ¡Muy caliente! 86 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,906 Okay, Nora and Kevin are gonna be here any minute. 87 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,008 I thought I could handle this, but I can't. 88 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,743 Okay. Uh-- Um, here's the plan. 89 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,012 We'll grab one of the lifeboats, get back to shore, 90 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,246 destroy the tape of us doing it-- 91 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:07,415 There's a tape of us doing it? 92 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,317 And we'll start a new life together. 93 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,286 Somewhere simple and homey, like Vermont or Dubai. 94 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,522 Wait. Is-- Is that what you want? 95 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,457 For us to be together? 96 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:19,560 - Hey, Robin. - God. I really can't do this. 97 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,995 Don't worry. Just follow my lead and keep cool. 98 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,998 Hey, guys! They know! 99 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,502 Oh, no. 100 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:33,140 I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff. 101 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,809 Like hard meats. What do you mean? 102 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:40,781 Well, usually after a sandwich, I feel paranoid, but I'm not. 103 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:44,818 Why am I not feeling paranoid? Calm down, dude! 104 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,920 We'll be fine. 105 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,789 Lily's gonna know. 106 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,691 Listen to me. 107 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,361 Whatever we were just talking about, 108 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,263 we'll be fine. 109 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,332 You're right. She won't find out. 110 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,735 Hey, guys. She knows! 111 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,837 Good evening! 112 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:08,175 A special welcome to our four new interns-- Erika... and so on. 113 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,111 One safety matter. Life preservers are on the side rails... 114 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,914 in case anyone falls overboard. 115 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,250 That's it. Have a good night. Don't drink too much. 116 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,086 Or do. 117 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,456 ** [ Band: Ballad ] Beautiful night, huh, gang? 118 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:27,428 Yeah. Robin and I were just cheating-- chatting about how warm it is. 119 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:31,665 I am breaking a trust-- sweat in here! 120 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:35,436 [ Nervous Laugh ] And I thought we'd be "cuckold." 121 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,371 I know why you're so nervous, Barney. 122 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,906 You do? 123 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,341 You're meeting Nora's parents tomorrow night, right? 124 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:44,211 Ah! [ Laughs ] That's it! That's it! 125 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,746 - Let's dance! - Bah! 126 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:46,747 Whoo! 127 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,886 [ Whispering ] Lily has no idea I'm high. 128 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,121 You're high? 129 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,857 I'm sorry. 130 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,463 [ Whispering ] Lily has no idea I'm high. 131 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:06,667 Okay, well, if your pregnant wife has to sit here sober all night, 132 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,302 she's gonna need some of them nachos. 133 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,038 You got it. 134 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,807 Hey, dude, fork over some of them nachos. No, not his. 135 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,242 My own. 136 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:16,977 Ah. Smart. 137 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,847 Come on, Ted. What? 138 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:29,156 [ Ted Narrating ] And thus began the most harrowing journey of our lives. 139 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:33,894 To this day, Robin and Barney swear this is the song they danced to that night. 140 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:38,632 * You fooled around on your baby * 141 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:42,135 * Now the least you could do is to tell the truth * 142 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,704 * Yes, you in the suit * 143 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,674 * Or that secret will eat up your soul * 144 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,110 * 'Cause the guilt's gonna drive you crazy * 145 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,912 * Crazy * 146 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,247 * You can't live with this lie Kevin's such a nice guy * 147 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,949 * Gotta tell him tonight * 148 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,752 * Tell them right here on this boat * 149 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:02,422 * You're like scum round the edge of a toilet bowl * 150 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,625 * Flush * 151 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:08,462 * What the hell is in the place where you should have a soul? * 152 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:12,566 - * Slut * - * You did these two wrong Don't wait too long * 153 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:13,934 * In fact, you know what? * 154 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,436 * Tell them right during this song * 155 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,272 * Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em * 156 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,408 * Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em * 157 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,043 I'll wait. 158 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,178 * Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em * 159 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,881 Oh, come on. Seriously? You're not gonna tell 'em? 160 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,917 We have to tell them. Right now. 161 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,553 * Sure, act like it was your idea ** 162 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,988 Seriously, you guys suck. 163 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,929 [ Ted Narrating ] Marshall and I were still in line to get Lily's nachos. 164 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,532 Dude, we've been waiting forever. 165 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,736 Even worse, this is the line for the ladies' room. 166 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,241 I can't believe that our last Groovapalooza was, 167 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,076 what, 12 years ago? 168 00:07:56,143 --> 00:08:00,147 I mean, time is going by so fast. I know. It's crazy. 169 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,482 In, like, an eyeblink, 170 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:06,887 this hand will be like an old man's hand. 171 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:10,891 I recognize the clichéd nature of what I'm about to say, 172 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,326 but... whoa. 173 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,062 Yeah. 174 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,198 312? That's our gate. 175 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:21,535 Dude, we just walked around the entire arena. 176 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,671 We've been walking for, like, an hour, 177 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,673 and we still haven't found the nachos! 178 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,741 I bet Lily is so upset. 179 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,211 Yo, you want my nachos, bro? 180 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,246 Oh, thank you! 181 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,850 My husband's been gone an hour looking for these. 182 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,287 If he can't even do that, how can I trust him as a father? 183 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,023 You can't, bro. You can't. 184 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,393 I like your long goatee. 185 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,228 Marshall can't even grow a beard. 186 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,763 Oh, that's sad, 187 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,865 'cause one's ability to grow facial hair... 188 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,669 directly correlates with one's ability to be a good father. 189 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,504 I know it does. 190 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,873 I know it does. 191 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,010 Mmm! Mmm! 192 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,778 [ Groans ] 193 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:08,849 Oh. Excuse me, sir. Do you know where the nachos are? 194 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,684 ** [ Guitar Chord ] 195 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:14,622 [ Whimpers, Screaming ] 196 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,456 Over here! I found the nacho line. 197 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,058 Oh. 198 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,634 So, how'd it go with Kevin? Well, I was just about to tell him. 199 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,169 Look, Kevin-- Erika! 200 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,205 I've been meaning to speak with you all night. Really? What about? 201 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,208 About me bending your hard little body over the railing of this boat... 202 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,744 and copulating furiously... 203 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,680 while I admire the New York City skyline. 204 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,482 Or, if you're feeling dirty, we can always face Jersey. 205 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,951 Thoughts? 206 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,487 [ Screams ] Oh! Jalapeño! 207 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:50,357 And just a hint of coconut! [ Screams ] 208 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,628 Kevin hit his head. He might have a concussion, 209 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,497 so, obviously, I couldn't tell him. 210 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:01,101 What about you? Something even worse happened to her. 211 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,204 I got a tiny spot of wine on my sleeve. 212 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,343 I couldn't pile on. I'm not a monster. 213 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,913 Where are they? 214 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,982 Come on. Forget the nachos. 215 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,284 Everyone here is having fun. 216 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,186 Look, even these guys! 217 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,154 Check it out. 218 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:25,025 Wow! Music really does bring people together! 219 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,060 Ted? Ted! 220 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,329 Creepy guitar guy is following us. 221 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,598 ** [ Chord ] 222 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,234 [ Screaming ] 223 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,769 [ Screaming Continues ] 224 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,371 Ah! Wha-- We did a whole nother lap. 225 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,908 Oh, man, we missed, like, half the concert now. 226 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,210 Come on. Let's just go back to our seats. Ted, Ted, Ted! 227 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,714 The nacho line was right here all along. Oh, my God! 228 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,782 It's so stupid. [ Laughing ] 229 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,753 As soon as we dock, I'm taking Kevin to the E.R. 230 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:56,656 God! I wish last night never happened. 231 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,894 I don't. 232 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,064 What do you mean? 233 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,099 What if this whole thing, 234 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,568 isn't the story of how we both made a horrible mistake... 235 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,838 and ruined our relationships? 236 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,906 What if it's actually the story... 237 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,675 of how we got back together? 238 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,712 Okay, I'm gonna ask you one last time. 239 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,814 Is this what you want? 240 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,482 It's what we both want. 241 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:26,453 Why else are we rushing to tell them what we did-- on a boat? 242 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,988 That is a terrible idea. 243 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,690 Barney, we tried this, and we failed. 244 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,392 Why try again? 245 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,594 Because I haven't stopped thinking about you, 246 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,463 and you haven't stopped thinking about me. 247 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,134 [ Sighs ] I'm such a mess. 248 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,437 Why-- Why do you even like me? 249 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:53,113 I guess 'cause you're almost as messed up as I am. 250 00:11:56,817 --> 00:12:01,454 Well, there's the small issue that we're currently dating other people. 251 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,024 How about this? 252 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:08,862 After we dock, let's each do what we have to do... 253 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,664 and then meet up at MacLaren's at midnight... 254 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,468 and... talk about us. 255 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,308 Don't forget your mystery gift bags! 256 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,477 They're condoms. 257 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,415 We just went all the way around again! 258 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,718 Where the hell are these nachos? Who cares about nachos? 259 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,320 I do! I love nachos, man. 260 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,022 You gotta relax, man. 261 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,891 You keep worrying about stuff like nachos, 262 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,527 you're gonna give yourself a heart attack. 263 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,362 I'm going back in. Fine! 264 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,233 Ha! Joke's on you! 265 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,969 The nacho line was right here all along. 266 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,709 [ Ted Narrating ] Robin and Barney were finally off the boat, 267 00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,914 so they both assumed it was going to be a lot easier to admit what they had done. 268 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,550 - Kevin-- - Me first. 269 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,786 I don't wanna make too much out of saying "I love you" for the first time-- 270 00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,355 Any way I can jump in with my thing? 271 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,990 Robin. 272 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,792 I love you. 273 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,527 Okay. Nora, look-- [ Gasps ] 274 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,996 Mom! Dad! 275 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,832 Hi, love! We got in early. 276 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,467 [ Sighs ] 277 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,170 [ Together ] Shoulda done it on the boat. 278 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,444 - ** [ Chord ] - Aaah! 279 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,947 Hey, where's your friend? 280 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,984 We missed almost the entire show because... 281 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,787 he put his stupid quest for nachos ahead of our friendship, so I bolted. 282 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,456 Well, I'm just a creepy old guitar player, 283 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,726 but isn't any time spent with a friend a blessing? 284 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,196 And if nachos is all you seek, 285 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,564 take mine, brother. 286 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,901 Wow! 287 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,836 Thank you! It's a sign, bro. 288 00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:01,041 It is! It's a sign I should go find Marshall. 289 00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:04,311 Come on. [ Chuckling ] Marshall! Marshall! 290 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,346 [ Ticking ] 291 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,184 So, Barney, Nora's told us so much about you, 292 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,221 but we want to know everything. 293 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,823 Let's see-- suits, laser tag, I say "Wait for it" a lot. 294 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,459 - That's about it. You two must be exhausted. - I'll make coffee. 295 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,263 I'm so glad to see how happy you both are. 296 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:28,001 When you meet the right person, you know it. 297 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,636 You can't stop thinking about them. 298 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,874 They're your best friend. 299 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,579 And your soul mate. 300 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,916 You can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them. 301 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,519 No one and nothing else can compare. 302 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,957 Now, where the hell is that coffee, eh? 303 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,125 [ Laughing ] 304 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,965 Look, Nora. There's something I have to tell you. 305 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,368 ** [ Chord ] 306 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,373 Heart attack. [ Crowd Gasping ] 307 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:09,476 God, Ted was right. I have to relax. Ted! 308 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,011 Marshall. Ted! 309 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,981 Marshall! Ted! Oh, Ted! Oh, Ted! 310 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,249 I'm so sorry. You were right. 311 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,751 No, Marshall, you-- Yeah, I was right. 312 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,321 But look, nachos! 313 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,256 Come on. Let's go back inside. 314 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,692 ** [ Ends ] [ Crowd Cheering ] 315 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,827 That's it. 316 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,562 It's over. 317 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,198 We missed the whole show. 318 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,932 [ Woman On P.A. ] Paging Dr. Bender. 319 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,336 So... yep. 320 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,937 I love you. 321 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,140 Look, Kevin, 322 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,977 there's something I have to tell you. 323 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,278 I cheated on you. 324 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,650 I don't even know how to react. 325 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,585 I am so sorry. 326 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:57,024 I know I don't get any second chances, 327 00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,293 but you will always be-- 328 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,562 Was this a one-time thing? 329 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,634 Can you tell me it didn't mean anything? 330 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,571 No. 331 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,816 I'm sorry, Ted. 332 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,519 I still wanna have fun. 333 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:29,289 I have to be a good husband and father too. 334 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,191 There's just not enough time, you know? 335 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:34,661 I know. It's all going by so damn fast. 336 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,297 We're getting old. 337 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,632 [ Gasps ] Lily! Oh! Hey. 338 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:44,204 Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry that we ruined our night. Yeah. 339 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,005 What are you guys talking about? 340 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,574 You've been gone less than two minutes. 341 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,210 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, she was right. 342 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,516 My hand. Whoa! 343 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,118 Ah! Concert! 344 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,254 Nachos! [ Screams ] 345 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,224 [ Laughs ] Music! 346 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,627 [ Both Screaming ] 347 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,064 Time! Nachos! 348 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,799 [ Grunts ] 349 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,837 Thank you! It's a sign, bro. 350 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,107 Oh! Uh-- 351 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,641 Heart attack! Marshall! 352 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,743 Ted! Ted! Marshall! 353 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,746 Ted! Oh! 354 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,315 [ Together ] Time. 355 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,454 Lily! Lily! 356 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,325 Marshall, do you get what this means? 357 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,160 Life isn't moving too fast. 358 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,628 We still have time for everything! 359 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,396 And we're not gonna miss the concert! 360 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,066 - I am freaking out right now. - We gotta get out of here. 361 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,668 Yeah. 362 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,004 Do you guys know where the ladies' room is? 363 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,740 No idea. Haven't seen it. 364 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,275 [ Ticking ] 365 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,011 Hey! How's it going? 366 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,781 Oh, not great. Nora and I broke up. 367 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,716 Oh, my God. What happened? 368 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,952 Uh, I don't really feel like getting into it, 369 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,588 but... I think the worst part is over. 370 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,194 Hey. Hey. 371 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,763 - Hey, Kev. - What's up, Kev? 372 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,131 [ Robin ] Hey, guys. 373 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,267 There's something I have to tell you. 374 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,170 - Then don't. - What? 375 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,206 If there's one thing I've learned as a therapist, 376 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:29,342 it's that just because something needs to be told... 377 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,611 doesn't always mean it needs to be heard. 378 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,648 Kevin, I did something bad. 379 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,719 We've all done bad things. Doesn't mean we're bad people. 380 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,123 Look, I don't care about every detail from your past, 381 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,193 and I hope you don't care about mine either. 382 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,596 What I do care about is you... 383 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:53,633 and that, from tonight forward, you're in this as much as I am. 384 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,869 What do you think? 385 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,541 I'm such a mess. 386 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,376 [ Chuckles ] 387 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,178 Why do you even like me? 388 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,379 Come here. 389 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,818 I am constantly amazed by the things you say, 390 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,787 entranced by the things you do, 391 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:19,926 and, unlike a certain jalapeño coconut vodka martini, 392 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,661 you're easy on the eyes. 393 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,165 And if we're together long enough, 394 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:29,569 I hope that one day you'll see yourself the way I see you. 395 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,975 That's a pretty good answer. 396 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,678 [ Ted Narrating ] Sometimes hours can feel like minutes, 397 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:42,482 and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. [ Clock Ticking ] 398 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:46,185 For Barney, the second that would never end was this one. 399 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:52,525 [ Ticking Slows ] 400 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,674 Um, I should go. 401 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,642 Tough night. 402 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,679 - I'm so sorry. - Don't be. It's nothing. 403 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,617 It feels good to be sober again. 404 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:21,321 Man, how long have we been sitting here, right? 405 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,356 Twelve seconds, and you're in the wrong booth. 406 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,831 I should go to bed. 407 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,037 [ Man: Pop Ballad ] * Outside your window * 408 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,239 * I waited for you * 409 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,277 * You didn't come * 410 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,713 * You never do * 411 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:54,887 * Heavy hours * 412 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:59,225 * Passing by * 413 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,861 * The way * 414 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:07,467 * Heaven knows **