1 00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:04,238 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, the heart is a mysterious muscle. 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:06,940 You never really know what's going on in there. 3 00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:10,611 So after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to get his heart checked. 4 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,613 And so did I. 5 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,215 And so did Lily. 6 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,617 And so did Robin. 7 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:20,054 And then Marshall went again, just to be sure. 8 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,090 There was only one holdout. 9 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,625 I don't need to go to a heart doctor. 10 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:27,128 I drink every day, I sleep three hours every night, 11 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,929 and I have multiple sex partners. 12 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,764 I'm doing everything right. 13 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,834 Barney, this is important. We need you around for a long time. 14 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,605 Without you, we'd have to find some other sex-fueled, depraved animal to entertain us. 15 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,374 Actually, I'm thinking about getting a dog again. 16 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,711 Oh, can she? Can she get a dog? Please, Ted. No! 17 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,280 If you get a dog, I'm gonna be the one stuck taking care of it. 18 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,816 - You wouldn't have to take care of it. - Really? 19 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,052 And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life? 20 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,588 Yeah. That was made out of silk, Ted. 21 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:57,358 Okay, Robin, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone. 22 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,261 But I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man. 23 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:04,832 - Here we go. - You're clearly trying to fill a hole. In her heart. 24 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:07,435 You feel like the seventh wheel because now Ted is with Zoey and Barney's with Nora... 25 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,002 and Lily's with Big Fudge. 26 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:12,406 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge. 27 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,610 "With?" I am not "with" Nora. 28 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,412 Wrong preposition. 29 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:21,149 Later tonight, I'm hoping to be on Nora. Right? 30 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:22,583 Or unde Nora. Right? 31 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,619 Or-- We're all adults. I'll just say it. 32 00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,655 Behind Nora. 33 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,124 I don't know. This will be your second date. 34 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,261 Oh! Barney's got feelings for a girl. 35 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:36,330 Yeah. Penis feelings. Because she's hot. 36 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:39,300 Guys, as you know, I only have one rule. 37 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,068 [ Ted Narrating ] Barney said this a lot. 38 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,870 I only have one rule. 39 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:46,940 If you're gonna get it on in a porta-potty, do it early in the day. 40 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,776 I only have one rule. 41 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:52,546 Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, 42 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,682 'cause she's got brothers. 43 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,784 I only have one rule. 44 00:01:56,817 --> 00:02:00,621 Never date a girl with a hook for a hand. 45 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,659 Never go out with the same girl more than once. 46 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,728 Then why are you going out with Nora again? 47 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,563 There is an exception. 48 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,732 [ Ted Narrating ] And it was always the same exception. 49 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,934 Unless she's hot. 50 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,869 Unless she's hot. 51 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,838 Unless she's hot. 52 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,740 [ Growls ] 53 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:22,009 And she is indeed hot, 54 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,212 which is why nothing, 55 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,046 not even God himself-- 56 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,781 Yeah, I said it, beardy-- 57 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:31,752 is gonna stand in the way of tonight being legen-- 58 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,587 Wait for it. 59 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,988 [ Sneezes ] 60 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,156 [ Groans ] 61 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,259 Uh-oh. 62 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,794 ** [ Upbeat Pop ] 63 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,365 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] 64 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,272 ** [ Ends ] 65 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,040 Hey, Nora, sorry I'm late. Hey! 66 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,875 I'm just getting over a cold. 67 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,345 - Oh, no. How long have you been sick? - About 20 minutes. 68 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,648 - Can't seem to shake it. - Okay. 'Cause I was gonna say you look a little, um-- 69 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,417 Handsome? Rich? Well-endowed? 70 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:06,620 [ Coughing, Sneezing ] 71 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:10,258 Uh, let's say well-endowed... with phlegm. 72 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,528 All right, let's go. It's bedtime. 73 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,330 The bed. [ Chuckles ] 74 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,832 That's where all the-- [ Hawking ] 75 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,202 happens. 76 00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,837 Come on. Let's get you sorted out. 77 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,207 [ Ted Narrating ] That night, Barney didn't take care of business. 78 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,177 Instead, Nora took care of Barney. 79 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,913 ** [ Violin: Lullaby ] 80 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:41,655 ** [ Lullaby ] 81 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,495 - Good night, Barney. - Good night, Mommy. 82 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,131 - Wow. She nursed you back to health? - No. 83 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,567 I didn't even see her boobs. 84 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,404 She just took care of me. 85 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,906 [ Giggles ] Oh, hey, guys. This is Nate. 86 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,774 Nate, these are my friends. What's up, guys? 87 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,010 Nate Scooberman, but everyone calls me Scooby. 88 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,546 Uh, I'd love to hang out, but I really gotta hit the john. 89 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,382 Uh, yeah. It's right in there, Scooby. 90 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,984 Thanks, brah. I like you guys. 91 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,621 Oh, Robin. 92 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,657 If you weren't so much stronger than me, I would slap you. 93 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:19,760 What? You told me to meet someone. 94 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,929 I know. And look, he seems plenty nice. 95 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:25,098 But I didn't mean bring home the first guy you bump into on the street. 96 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,601 Actually, I met him in the park. 97 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,070 - [ All Groaning ] - Should've just let you get a dog. 98 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,707 Oh, I should go. Lily, can I talk to you for a second? 99 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,979 So, um, I made an appointment with that cardiologist. 100 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,882 Aw, and you want me to go with you 'cause you're a little scared? 101 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,216 [ Scoffs ] No. 102 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,686 Do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared? 103 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,221 Yes! [ Laughs ] Okay, fine. 104 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,990 On one condition. 105 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,226 You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora. 106 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,463 She seems like something special. 107 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,832 Okay. I promise I won't lie to her. 108 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,602 I may, however, lieher. 109 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,737 * I said a-bang-bang bangity-bang * 110 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:07,274 * I said a-bang-bang bangity-bang bang-bang, bangity-bang * 111 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,809 Are we done? 112 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,480 * A-bang-bang, bangity-bang ** 113 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,315 Well, Barney, your heart sounds fine. See, Lily? 114 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,884 She was worried. 115 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,319 Although it seems like you might have a slight arrhythmia. 116 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,022 - [ Gasps ] - Ow! Nails! Nails! 117 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,924 It's probably nothing to worry about, but... 118 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,593 I'd like you to wear this heart monitor... 119 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,194 for the next 24 hours. 120 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,664 Twent-- Flag on the play. Doc, I have a date tonight. 121 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,332 Don't worry. It's totally safe. 122 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,834 Unless part of your big date involves... 123 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,536 connecting yourself to a car battery. 124 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,038 Well, now it doesn't. 125 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,876 [ Ted Narrating ] Exactly 24 hours later, they returned for the results. 126 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,779 Okay, everything looks fine here. 127 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:50,117 Although I did notice a few irregularities, there's nothing to be... 128 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,654 alarmed about. 129 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,256 Go on, Doctor. 130 00:05:56,289 --> 00:06:00,327 What happened at 8:46 p.m. last night? 131 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,531 Well, let's see. Uh, Wheel of Fortune. 132 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,534 Naked push-ups. Naked chin-ups. I was at dinner. 133 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:11,405 This might be a little forward, but do you have a bomb strapped to your chest? 134 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,006 [ Laughs ] This? No. No. 135 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,208 It's a-- a heart monitor. 136 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,411 It's a medical thing. Oh. 137 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:20,614 I'm so sorry. I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night. 138 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,683 [ Chuckles ] What's that like? 139 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,785 So, is everything okay? 140 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,321 My friend's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack, 141 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,591 so I'm just getting myself checked out too. 142 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,660 Oh, I am so sorry. 143 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,962 Thanks. 144 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,333 Uh, Barney, what I'm about to say... 145 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,069 is gonna sound a little weird, 146 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:46,139 but I think I'm starting to like you, so I have to say it. 147 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:49,042 Well, for what it's worth, I'm not easily shocked. 148 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,412 Unless you dump water on me, 'cause I'll just-- [ Imitates Electric Shock ] 149 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,947 No, what is it? 150 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,549 I want to get married. 151 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:59,352 I mean, not tonight, or even to you necessarily. 152 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,388 But that's what I want. 153 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,125 And if that's gonna scare you off, then I'd rather it scare you off now. 154 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,628 [ Monitor: Rhythmic Beeping ] I want a family. 155 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,963 And I want to live in a little house with a garden... 156 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,365 and a tree for the kids to climb. 157 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:16,169 And I want to go to sleep every night with the same person by my side... 158 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:19,573 and wake up next to him in the morning, every morning, for the rest of our lives. 159 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,575 [ Steady Beep ] 160 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,611 Just thought you should know that. 161 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,781 You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora! 162 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,020 That's exactly what I want too. 163 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,189 [ Groans ] 164 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:42,462 I'm really into gardening, but these squirrels keep messing with my tomatoes. 165 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,165 Every time I see 'em in the backyard, I'm, like, "Get outta here!" 166 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,168 They run off, but sure enough, a few minutes later there they are again. 167 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:51,338 And I'm like, "Get outta here!" So annoying. 168 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,273 [ Sniffing ] I smell food. 169 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,143 Does this place have a kitchen? I'll be right back. 170 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:02,349 Okay, but you have to admit that he is a lot of fun. 171 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,018 Oh, I actually think he's quite intelligent for what he is. 172 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,020 - And what is he? - He's a dog. 173 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,990 - He's totally a dog. - What? You saw him hitting on someone? 174 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,992 No, no. I didn't say "He a dawg." 175 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,662 I said, "He's a dog," as in a dog. 176 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,731 I think we've all noticed a few curious mannerisms. 177 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,934 Or, uh, rather, dog-erisms. 178 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,037 Uh, Scooby, the tag's still on your jeans. 179 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,606 Where? 180 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,649 Okay, Scooby. You ready? 181 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,287 - Ohh! - Good boy, Scooby! 182 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,989 Good job, Scoob. 183 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,558 That last one did not happen. 184 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,726 - Okay, you're right. - He dropped it. 185 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,561 He's not a dog. 186 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,631 Robin, it's fine. You said you wanted a dog, and you got one. 187 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,233 And the best part is he got his shots. 188 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,735 Hey, guys. Got my shots. 189 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,070 - You are so playful. - Nice job fetching those. 190 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,172 - Guys. - Yeah, guys, cut it out. 191 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,609 Scooby, sit. 192 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:05,579 So, Scooby, if you're gonna be hanging out with our Robin, you should be properly vetted. 193 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:09,750 Uh, yeah. And we hope our nosiness doesn't give you pause. 194 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,418 How did you meet? 195 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,386 Tell us the tale. Yes, how did you whisk her off her feet? 196 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,823 - Shed a little light on the matter. - Did you send her an e-mail? 197 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,291 - Or did you call 'er? - Guys, stop hounding him. 198 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,628 Oh, geez. 199 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,430 No, you're right, Robin. We don't want your new guy to flee. 200 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,366 We're just trying to make sure he's not a heel. 201 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,269 So, moving from Canada, that transition must've been pretty rough. 202 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,005 Sure was. My part of Canada's pretty different from New York. 203 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,608 Oh, I bet it was an incredible journey. 204 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,644 What part of Canada is that? Speak. 205 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,746 - Labrador. - [ All Laughing ] 206 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,580 This isn't happening. 207 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,950 Hey, Nate, why don't you go play some music on the jukebox. 208 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,885 No, I'm good. Oh, shoot. 209 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,987 Dropped my keys. I'll get 'em. 210 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,823 Hey, guys. This is Nora. 211 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,959 Hey. Hey. How are you? 212 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,194 - Nice to meet you. - Hi. 213 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,664 We were just passing by, and I wanted to pop in for two reasons. 214 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,700 First, I wanted to let you know that your friend Barney is being a perfect gentleman. 215 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,401 Well, it's still early. 216 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:05,472 I'm being serious. I had no idea that deep down he's such a romantic. 217 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,708 I had no idea he had a deep down. 218 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,643 Oh, you should've heard him at dinner. 219 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,445 I mean, I like being single, 220 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,949 but, secretly, I want to have kids. 221 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,819 - How many do you want? - Three. One of each. 222 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,121 - You? - Three. 223 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,825 - All in an old stone house. - Yeah, with ivy growing on it. 224 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,995 - Cocktails on the patio. - And we must have a pool. 225 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,296 We? 226 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,666 Pool sounds brilliant. 227 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,736 Are you for real, Barney? 228 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,039 I really am. 229 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,608 - Unbelievable. - I know. Right? 230 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,745 And the second reason we popped in is 'cause I need to use the loo. 231 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:48,716 But when I get back, I'm dying to hear all about Mr. Softy here. 232 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,651 I assure you, that's not a nickname that I-- 233 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,020 [ Gasping, Wheezing ] 234 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:56,724 And that explains your 14-second cardiac arrest. 235 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,692 [ Blows ] 236 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,061 Barney, you promised you wouldn't lie. 237 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,529 I'm not lying. 238 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,298 Guys, Nora's really special. 239 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,300 In fact, I think I'm... 240 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,370 falling in love with her. 241 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,206 [ Shouting, Arguing ] 242 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,575 Guys, I'm serious! 243 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,879 I'm not gonna let you do this. When Nora gets back here, I'm blowin' the whistle. 244 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,248 Just make sure it's not a high-frequency whistle, 245 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,717 because we don't want to torture Robin's boyfriend. 246 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,252 Guys, this is real. 247 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,021 And if you don't make me look good in front of Nora, 248 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:32,025 just remember, I have got dirt on each of you and I am not afraid to spill it. 249 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:35,095 Barney, you can't blackmail us into lying to Nora. 250 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,229 Really, Lily? 251 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,999 Even if I were to mention-- oh, I don't know-- 252 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,368 your kindergarten class's pet guinea pig? 253 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,870 [ Gasps ] Mr. Buttons! 254 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,338 You son of a bitch! 255 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,974 Fine. I'll be nice. 256 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,976 - Marshall? - You got nothin' on me. 257 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,978 - The calzone? - Checkmate. 258 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,181 - Robin? - Don't say the Mr. T dream. 259 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,549 Don't say the Mr. T dream. Don't say the Mr. T dream. 260 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,486 - The Mr. T dream. - [ Whimpers ] 261 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,388 - Ted? - Go ahead. 262 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,091 Give me your best. My life's an open book. 263 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:07,460 - The ballet class. - I once took a ballet class. Not ashamed. 264 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:11,031 - The 'N Sync concert. - 1998, Cleveland's Gund Arena. 265 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,433 Front row. Caught J.C.'s shirt. What else ya got? 266 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,104 Okay, Ted. The thermos. 267 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:20,273 I suppose it's possible Barney has real feelings for Nora. 268 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,742 I do! So be cool. 269 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:28,181 There's a man back there who seems fascinated by the records flipping in the jukebox. 270 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,518 Sorry, toots. He's taken. 271 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,654 So, how do you all know Barney? 272 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,556 Oh, I don't know. How do we know Barney? 273 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,192 How does anyone know how they know anyone? [ Giggling ] 274 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:41,528 I like your pretty hair. Help me. 275 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:45,799 We did not meet him at a strip club. No, sir. 276 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:50,403 Because... Barney don't go to no strip clubs. 277 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,040 - Oh, come on. Barney's been to a strip club once. - Once? 278 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,108 - Thermos. - Nope. Not even once. 279 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,776 Really? 280 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,812 So Barney really is a genuinely nice guy? 281 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,348 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 282 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,685 I don't recall. 283 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,554 Okay, I think that we're done here. 284 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:11,158 I think that we have adequately established that Barney is... 285 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,161 the kind of guy that you would bring home to meet your parents. 286 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,196 Okay, so let's just drop it. All right? 287 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,898 That's funny you should say that, 288 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,167 because, as it happens, my parents are in town. 289 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,235 They're only here, like, once a year. 290 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:25,138 We're getting brunch tomorrow. Do you want to meet them? 291 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,274 [ Ted Narrating ] This was a big deal for Barney. 292 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,843 I only have one rule. [ Groaning ] 293 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:34,014 Never, ever, ever meet a girl's parents. 294 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:39,586 - Not even if she's hot? - Not even if her mom's hot. 295 00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,989 I'd love to meet your parents. 296 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:46,026 It's a date. We should get going. 297 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,228 - Walk me home? - Walk? Somebody say walk? 298 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,663 I'll go for a walk. I love a good walk. No, Scooby. 299 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,565 You, uh, stay. 300 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,139 Oh, no. I got called back into work. 301 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,741 Can you keep an eye on him until I get back? 302 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:04,511 He's new to the city and he doesn't really know anyone. I knew it. 303 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,780 I knew, if you got a dog, I'd wind up taking care of it. He's not a-- 304 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:08,916 [ Whispers ] Stop it! 305 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,984 Good night. 306 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,656 What do we do now? Oh! I got an idea. 307 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,459 I was in the park today, and this guy sold me a big bag of-- 308 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,695 Kids, it was a big bag of sandwiches. 309 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,365 - Whoa! - Put that away. 310 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,001 - You guys wanna fire these up? - Scooby, we're in our 30s. 311 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,103 We don't smoke sandwiches anymore. 312 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,205 - Sandwich brownies? - Okay. 313 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,274 ** [ Background: Experimental Rock ] 314 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,343 Sandwiches make me hungry. 315 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,710 Truth. 316 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:40,080 Hey, I have a question. Yeah? 317 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:44,084 What did Barney mean when he said "calzone"? 318 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,687 Okay, I'll tell you. Okay. 319 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:52,325 One time Barney saw me drop a calzone on the sidewalk, 320 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,694 pick it up and then keep eating it. 321 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,830 It feels so good to finally say that out loud. Dude. 322 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,732 Listen to me. 323 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,868 You have nothing to be ashamed of. 324 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,971 That calzone sounds amazing. 325 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,843 Guys, I found this on the floor. 326 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,812 Oh, my God. 327 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,714 Scooby ate the whole tray. 328 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,016 [ Imitating Scooby-Doo ] Ruh-roh! 329 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,851 Wait. Where is he anyway? 330 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,553 Oh, dude. 331 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,255 Scooby got out! 332 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,627 Here we are. 333 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,398 I had a really great time tonight. 334 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,699 Yeah, me too. 335 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,674 Do you wanna come upstairs? 336 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,012 I'd love to. 337 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:50,984 There's just one little thing, and it probably doesn't matter, but... 338 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,420 I don't want to get married. 339 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,656 I've been saying that all night just to get in your pants. 340 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,625 [ Groans ] 341 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,493 [ Groaning ] 342 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,195 Can you belie-- 343 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,870 Oh, my God! I found Scooby's wallet! 344 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:14,841 Oh, no! That means the poor guy's out there with no identification. 345 00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,377 Robin! Hey, hey, um, remember Scooby? 346 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,979 - Uh, well, he got out. - "Got out"? What do you mean? 347 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,715 He just walked out of the apartment. Someone must've left the door open. 348 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,451 It wasn't me. Me neither. 349 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:28,121 [ Gasps ] He must've figured out how to open it himself. 350 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,424 He's so smart. We should get him on Letterma doing tricks. 351 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,494 I know Paul Shaffer's sandwich guy. This could happen. 352 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,564 Guys! Get yourselves together and start looking for Scooby. 353 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,267 - I'm on my way home. - Wait, wait! Robin! 354 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,036 Can you pick up some calzones? 355 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,106 Nora, wait, wait. 356 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,341 I'm sorry I mislead you. 357 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:52,045 Mislead? You lied to me! You had your friends lie to me! 358 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,381 I was on the spot. This is your fault. 359 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,517 My fault? Yeah, with the whole "I want to get married" thing. 360 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:01,654 You just can't tell someone exactly what you want out of a relationship. 361 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,922 This... 362 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,158 isn't England. 363 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,661 Good-bye, Barney. 364 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,400 - Scooby! - Scoob! 365 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,736 Hey, great idea. Uh, no. Great idea! 366 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,906 Okay, if you were new in town and had just ingested an eighth of sandwich, 367 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,874 where would you go? 368 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,610 Of course. 369 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,478 Back to the pizza place! 370 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:28,415 Yeah! Maybe that's where Scooby went. Who's Scooby? 371 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,883 - Hey, guys. - Hey, have you seen Scooby? 372 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,653 Uh, yeah. Isn't that him taking a leak on that fire hydrant? 373 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,422 [ Lily Laughing ] 374 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,124 Scooby! 375 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,926 Oh, hey! It's my friends! 376 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,195 - No! - [ Tires Screech ] 377 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,665 And that explains 12:51 a.m. 378 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:49,369 Okay, none of this suggests a systemic issue. Your heart's fine. 379 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:54,006 With a healthy diet you can live a long and happy life, if nobody stabs you. 380 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,642 Day's not over. 381 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,678 Okay, Lily, 382 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,881 I'm sorry that I lied about wanting to settle down. 383 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,816 No, that wasn't the lie. 384 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,786 The lie was when you told Nora you were lying. 385 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,288 Because you weren't. 386 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,590 You want that stuff, Barney. I know you do. 387 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:16,429 Okay, maybe eventually I could settle down... 388 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,898 50 years from now, 389 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,768 if I have, like, a Hefner thing goin' on with some really hot twins. 390 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,336 But those twins... 391 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,673 won't even be born for another... 392 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,241 32 years. 393 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,378 I mean, Nora's great. 394 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,413 She's wonderful, but-- 395 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,081 What time was your dinner reservation? 396 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,983 Last night? 8:30. 397 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,252 What did his heart do at 8:30? 398 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:43,156 [ Rhythmic Beeping ] 399 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,261 [ Monitor Goes Silent ] 400 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,230 [ Beeping Resumes ] 401 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:53,433 It literally skipped a beat. 402 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,069 Your heart's talkin' to you, Barney. 403 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,039 Do you have the guts to listen to it? 404 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,875 ** [ Piano: Ballad ] 405 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,914 [ Man ] * Stones that I 406 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,417 * Carry 407 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,320 * Around 408 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,828 I lied. Barney. 409 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,532 - When I said I lied, that was a lie, and I'm sorry. - I'm confused. 410 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,267 So am I. 411 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:32,004 This. All of this. This is totally new to me. But I know it's what I want. 412 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,308 I want to be confused with you. 413 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:41,381 * I have to search 414 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:45,252 Mom, Dad, this is Barney. 415 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:48,455 Hi. I'm Barney. Great to meet you. 416 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,458 Hey, you wanna see a magic trick? 417 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,661 * Sharp as a marble 418 00:19:54,694 --> 00:20:00,267 * These stones keep my feet on the ground * 419 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:11,811 * All this experience 420 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:16,916 * Weighs me down *