1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:03,304 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, in the fall of 2010, 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,839 I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving, 3 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,541 and I wanted it to be unforgettable. 4 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:11,011 Instead of stuffing, I'm gonna fill the turkey with... 5 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,813 a slightly smaller turkey. 6 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,116 It's called a "turturkeykey." 7 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,118 A turturkeykey? Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,053 Uh-uh-oh-oh. 9 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,422 Yeah, I was there for the insertion. 10 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,325 He used shoehorns. I'll be having sides. 11 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,527 Your loss. 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,729 It's dead in here. I'm gonna call it a little early. 13 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,233 What? No, you can't go now. It's the night before Thanksgiving. 14 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,135 College chicks are back in town. 15 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,637 Their moms just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. 16 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,972 They called her a "bitch," but deep down they know she's right. 17 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:42,110 And they are about to walk through that door where we will be waiting... 18 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,179 with some light beer and some rock-hard approval. 19 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,014 Wh-What u-up? 20 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,718 You don't wanna bail early, man. You could become the Blitz. 21 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,952 [ All ] Ooh! 22 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,021 [ Ted Narrating ] Blitz was a guy we knew in college. 23 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,656 Sadly, he was cursed. 24 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,326 Well, I'm calling it a little early. 25 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,694 Wha-- You sure? We got big plans. 26 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,930 Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich... 27 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:06,066 and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz? 28 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,469 Well, tonight, we're doing the same thing-- 29 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,139 only with Weird Al Yankovic's Greatest Hits... 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,973 and Apocalypse Now. 31 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,775 We'll see what happens. 32 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:18,078 Nah. It's Kraft-Croft night-- mac and cheese and Tomb Raider. 33 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,747 Bizzow! 34 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,082 [ Ted Narrating ] You see, every time Blitz left a place, 35 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,185 something amazing happened. 36 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:30,090 Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was my room. 37 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,625 [ Giggles ] 38 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,863 Completely naked! Completely naked! 39 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,398 Aw, man! 40 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,634 - And the movie was awesome. - Aw, man! 41 00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,670 At the exact moment Brando first appeared, 42 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,872 Weird Al launched right into "Eat It." 43 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,175 Aw, man! 44 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:50,878 [ Ted Narrating ] And over the years, the curse of the Blitz continued. 45 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,746 Well, I'm gonna call it. 46 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,516 I just got Madden 2K1, and I can't stop thinking about it. 47 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,486 See you later. Bye-bye. See you later. 48 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,357 [ Tap Pops ] 49 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:06,194 Taps broke. Can't turn 'em off. Free beer for everyone. 50 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,861 [ All ] Yeah! 51 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,298 Free beer for everyone! 52 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:15,035 - Free beer for everyone. - Aw, man! 53 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,537 You know what? 54 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,572 Ted, go ahead. Leave early to do something lame. 55 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,675 Just don't blame us if you become the Blitz. 56 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:25,713 First of all, there's nothing lame about brining a turturkeykey, 57 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,147 copyright pending. 58 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,618 And secondly, I don't believe the curse of the Blitz is real. 59 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,387 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, I'd live to regret those words. 60 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:37,625 The curse of the Blitz could be passed from one person to the next at any moment. 61 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,761 Blitz had gotten the curse from Jerry Windheim back in freshman year... 62 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,397 who got it years before that from Davey Beaterman. 63 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:47,468 The original Blitz, Matt Blitz, was a guy who went to Wesleyan back in the '60s. 64 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,137 He dropped out right before the school went coed. 65 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,640 And then, Thanksgiving morning-- 66 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,213 What the hell happened here? 67 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,215 Hey! Morning, Blitz. 68 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,183 Aw, man! 69 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:06,454 No, no. Let's get one thing straight, okay? I am not the Blitz. 70 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:10,691 * My Blitzy lies over the ocean * 71 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:14,628 [ Together ] * My Blitzy lies over the sea * 72 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:18,466 * My Blitzy lies over the ocean * 73 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,269 - * So bring back my Blitzy-- * - Please stop. 74 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,438 Okay, fine. 75 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,740 * To me * 76 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,309 The Gentleman. 77 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,843 [ All ] The Gentleman! 78 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,112 Wait, wait. What's that? What's the Gentleman? 79 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,249 - Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. - I'm not the Blitz. 80 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,488 [ Woman Yawns ] 81 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:49,563 - Zoey? - Morning, Blitz. 82 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:51,932 [ Yawns ] 83 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,435 ** [ Upbeat Pop ] 84 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,805 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] 85 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,778 ** [ Ends ] 86 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,814 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, you remember Zoey. 87 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,317 For the last two months, she'd been making my life hell. 88 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,554 Thanks, guys. Last night was amazing. 89 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,657 - The Gentleman! - [ All ] The Gentle-- 90 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,492 [ All Groan ] 91 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:21,729 How could you, my best friends in the world, 92 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,764 hang out with my mortal enemy... 93 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:27,968 and let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself? 94 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,270 Sorry, Ted. We can explain. 95 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,039 After you Blitzed out last night-- 96 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,173 I'm not the Blitz! 97 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,009 Oh, my God. That's Zoey. 98 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,611 That's Ted's enemy. 99 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,448 Which means she's our enemy. 100 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,950 Let's take this bitch down. 101 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:47,020 Huh? Huh? Who's got your back? Now let's have dinner. 102 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,457 Finish the story, Red. 103 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:53,661 We all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. 104 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,263 There were a lot of different ideas kicking around. 105 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,532 And then I'm just gonna leave her there, 106 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:01,234 buck naked, covered in candle wax, 107 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,671 tied to the bed. 108 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,940 Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, 109 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,377 but that's a little extreme. 110 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,346 Wait. Ted doesn't like that girl? 111 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,816 Okay, no, I got it. You see that silk scarf? 112 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,618 I'm gonna steal it. 113 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,625 Can I help you? 114 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,628 Yeah. Yeah. 115 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,297 My name is Lily Aldrin. 116 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,666 I'm a friend of Ted Mosby, so you better-- 117 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,002 You're Lily Aldrin? The painter? 118 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,237 Well, yeah. 119 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,641 You're amazing. I bought a bunch of your paintings online. 120 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,076 - That was you? - Yeah. 121 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,812 Oh! 122 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,980 None of us meant for it to happen. 123 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,684 - But-- Well, we had an awesome night with her. - Mmm. 124 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,388 [ All ] The Gentleman! 125 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,289 [ Cheering ] 126 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,326 And then the craziest thing happened. 127 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,029 [ Cheering ] 128 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,633 I missed a skateboarding dog? 129 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,836 Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part. It wasn't? 130 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,205 Okay, Marshall, truth or dare. 131 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:16,844 Awesome. Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. So dare. 132 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,446 Okay. 133 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,682 I dare you to send a picture of your junk... 134 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,551 to a complete stranger. 135 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,819 [ All ] Ooh! 136 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,456 Best idea ever! 137 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,658 Worst idea ever. 138 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,826 My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. 139 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:36,263 If their phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them. 140 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,932 [ Laughs ] Whoa. 141 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,935 Okay. Everybody shout out random numbers. 142 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,370 Um-- Uh-- 143 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,338 Four, eight, 15, 16, 23, 42. 144 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,508 And... send! 145 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,842 [ Cheering ] 146 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,544 Wait. Blitz was there too? 147 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,779 The Gentleman! 148 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,847 [ All ] The Gentleman! 149 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,583 Oh, I was there for the whole thing. 150 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:59,487 Something inside me just said, "Grand Theft Auto can wait a night." 151 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,589 It was legen-- 152 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,256 Wait for Ted to leave 'cause he's now the Blitz. 153 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,324 ...dary. 154 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:05,659 Legendary. 155 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,261 - I'm not the Blitz. - I'm afraid you are, Ted. 156 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,163 You see, when you left last night, 157 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:14,535 you changed the course of Blitz-ory. [ Crunches ] 158 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,970 [ Cheering ] 159 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,907 [ Voice ] Blitz! 160 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,921 [ Gasping ] 161 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,157 I'm finally free. 162 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,193 You have no idea what I've missed all these years-- 163 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:44,732 the university president's toupee being snatched by a hawk at graduation, 164 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,834 Zeppelin reuniting at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, 165 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,903 countless nip-slips, crotch shots, 166 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,705 shooting stars and double rainbows. 167 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,240 I've missed them all. 168 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,177 - Not anymore, Blitz. - My name's not Blitz. 169 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,549 My name is Steve! 170 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,952 Colors seem so bright now. 171 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,691 Thank you, Blitz. What? 172 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,926 No. No, no. No, no, no. I'm not the Blitz. 173 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,695 The only thing I missed last night... 174 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:18,098 was my best friends stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. 175 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,634 Guys, I hate Zoey. 176 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:24,171 That means you're supposed to hate her too. That's your rule, Lily. 177 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,439 I tried. Tried? 178 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:30,944 Lily, do you have any idea how many people I blindly hated for you? 179 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:35,849 I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years... 180 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,085 only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon. 181 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:42,389 Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back for You, Me and Dupree. 182 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,991 That's Kate Hudson! 183 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,427 Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. Guys, we hate Kate Hudson. 184 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,797 No! We hate Zoey! 185 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,099 [ Grunts ] I'm so furious at you all right now. 186 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,636 But it's Thanksgiving, and I have a turturkeykey to make. 187 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,172 And not that I'm the Blitz, 188 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,942 but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? 189 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,011 [ Chattering ] 190 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,948 Okay, I'm, uh, just gonna preheat the oven. 191 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,650 The oven. 192 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:12,820 Hey, Robin, you should dance on the oven. 193 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:14,688 Oh! Oh! Yeah! 194 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,890 [ Chanting ] Dance on the oven! [ Barney, Chanting ] Make out with Zoey! 195 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,893 Dance on the oven! Make out with Zoey! 196 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,136 Did they tell you about the skateboarding dog? 197 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,139 It was awesome. 198 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,447 Great. So not only did you guys betray me, 199 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,683 but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving? 200 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:46,186 Full disclosure. We also used all your butter greasing up Lily... 201 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,555 so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall. 202 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,925 - [ Marshall Snickering ] - But if it helps, I reached 4G. 203 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,962 It doesn't help. 4G? 204 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:55,896 Mm-hmm. 205 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,766 No. Wh-What are we supposed to do now? 206 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,771 This is awesome. I'm part of this. 207 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,841 Barney, I don't know if the oven's deep enough. 208 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:12,179 Plus, it's a display made of cardboard. 209 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,648 Oh. I should probably disconnect the gas. 210 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,786 Hey, just so you guys know, there was a tiny explosion... 211 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,554 at the sewage treatment plant across the street from our apartment. 212 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,991 But I'm sure it's fine by now. 213 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,694 [ Steve ] This is awesome. [ Ted ] It's not awesome. 214 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,962 I think the smaller turkey... 215 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:32,666 just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey. 216 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,936 [ Barney ] Um-- 217 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,941 Um, I'm having-- I'm having trouble breathing. 218 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,112 Mom keeps an extra litter box in here. 219 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,349 There you go. Good as new. 220 00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,652 Oh. Hey, Ginger. 221 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:58,792 Ted, you're not gonna like this, but we do have one other option. 222 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,563 Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 223 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:07,600 My husband always spends it with his daughter, so I'm gonna be alone anyway. 224 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,036 Could we bring Ted? 225 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,839 It's Thanksgiving. 226 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,141 What the hell? [ All ] Yeah! 227 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,346 No. Absolutely not. 228 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,081 Come on. Give her a chance. 229 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:24,617 Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. 230 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,386 Don't let that be in vain. 231 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,355 You guys, wait a minute. 232 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,857 Where's Barney? 233 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:34,127 [ Chuckles ] And here's the twist, Babaka. 234 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:38,832 Because Ted left early, he's now the Blitz. 235 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,101 But, Barney, now you left the group. 236 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,804 Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming the Blitz yourself? 237 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,807 No. I ca-- Because-- 238 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,877 Step on it. 239 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,180 Hey, hey, hey! You missed it! 240 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,749 Oh, my goodness! Our cab took a wrong turn. 241 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,417 We were in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. 242 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,653 Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike, and he sang "Twist and Shout." 243 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,322 But he's the Blitz. 244 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,858 No. I'm not the Blitz. 245 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,626 I'm the Bueller. 246 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,829 You know what this means? 247 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,330 You're the Blitz. 248 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,067 [ Coughs ] [ Voice ] Blitz! 249 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,907 - [ Chokes ] Oh, God, no. - Life moves pretty fast, Barney. 250 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,176 If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it. 251 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,445 Chicka-chicka. 252 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,117 Happy Thanksgiving. 253 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,585 Ted. 254 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:33,987 Zoey. 255 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,091 Best friend alert. 256 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,964 Okay, the turturkeykey is officially cooking. 257 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,166 Oh. Oh, God, that is disgusting! 258 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,268 Guys, that's starting to hurt. 259 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,337 No, no. No, Ted. 260 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:53,506 "Random number" guy just sent me his wang back. 261 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,242 Wow! 262 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,911 You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back. 263 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,813 It's a "boomewang." Nice. 264 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,249 - Thank you. - No, I meant the wang. 265 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,585 - Barney, could you get me some more ice? - Sure. 266 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,188 But no one move while I'm gone. 267 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,689 I'm scared. 268 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,825 You're safe. It's okay to leave the room. 269 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,661 You have to actually leave the building for something cool to happen. 270 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,029 Thanks. 271 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:19,332 You're the only one who's nice to me about this. 272 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,270 Okay, I gotta test this. 273 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,409 [ Cheering ] 274 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,344 What happened? 275 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,581 You missed it. Dude, you walked out of the room, 276 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:38,085 the laws of physics stopped, and the laws of awesome tripled. 277 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:41,821 Aw, man. You said I could leave the room. 278 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,457 I just wanted to see something cool happen. 279 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,928 I'm sorry. But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. 280 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,930 I'm gonna enjoy things on the other side. 281 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,265 No! You-- [ Stammers ] 282 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:55,102 Robin. Robin, I will pay you to be the Blitz. 283 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,671 A hundred dollars. No. $10,000. 284 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,674 No. Sixty bucks. What's a lot of money for someone like you? 285 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,577 Dude, the Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold. 286 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:08,015 Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity. Oh, what was that? 287 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,518 I was distracted by the four-carat diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you. 288 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:15,889 - Facial. - If you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste. 289 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,558 I'm coming with you. No. I baste alone. 290 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,894 Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted. 291 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,829 Wordplay. Lovin' it. 292 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,233 But relax. I've got a ton of sides to heat up since my plans fell through. 293 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,001 Who canceled-- your coven? 294 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,503 Coven. Group of witches. Boom. 295 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,040 Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair. 296 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,574 Oh! Serve returned. 297 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,244 Are you happy? You're ruining Thanksgiving. 298 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:40,280 Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with either. 299 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,550 God, I'm so happy to be here. 300 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,586 - My face hurts from smiling. - Oh! 301 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,222 Sorry, Lily. I'm just never gonna like that woman. 302 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,992 Ted, give her a chance. Enemies can't become friends. 303 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,261 Yes, they can. Right, guys? 304 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,396 Oh. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. No. 305 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,932 You guys can't be objective. You still feel guilty about last night. 306 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,201 - Well, let's get an outside opinion. - Who are we gonna-- 307 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,936 Dear Wang Guy-- Oh. 308 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,805 can enemies ever be friends? 309 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,340 Just wondering. Hmm. 310 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:11,544 Really? Wang Guy. We're asking Wang Guy? 311 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,314 He's bold and uninhibited. So why not? 312 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,383 Hey, guys, you know what? For fun, 313 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,652 why don't we ask him what he does for a living. 314 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,821 Wouldn't that be fun? Just-- 315 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:25,858 Aw, you've got a little crush on Wang Guy, don't you? 316 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:29,296 What? No. Shut up. I hate him. 317 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:32,332 - [ Cell Phone Beeps ] - Oh. We got an answer. Here it is. 318 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,302 "Yes. Enemies can become friends. 319 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:40,940 Remember what Gandhi said. 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'" 320 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,510 Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi? 321 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,746 That is amazing. And I was here for it. 322 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,882 Now Zoey is the Blitz. Ha! Ha! 323 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,152 [ Laughs ] Burn on her. 324 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,423 Come on, man. Don't be that Blitz. 325 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,259 I'm not any Blitz. You're the Blitz. 326 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,228 You're all the Blitz. 327 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:04,097 I slept with that cute Indian girl who cuts my hair. 328 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,999 What does that have to do with anything? 329 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,169 Nothing. I just forgot to brag about it before. 330 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,305 Guys, despite the wit and wisdom of Wang Guy, 331 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,541 Zoey and I are never gonna be friends. 332 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:17,544 We're just here for her oven, and that's it. 333 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,213 Oh, my God! 334 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,216 Did you do that on purpose? No. It was an accident. 335 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,153 Oh, yeah, well, like this is. Oh. Great. Real mature. 336 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,621 - Yeah, well, you started it. - [ Ted, Zoey Arguing ] 337 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,857 Stop it! 338 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,094 [ Sighs ] Can't you two just stop fighting for one day? 339 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:39,299 Like when the roadrunner and the coyote clocked out and had a beer together. 340 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,302 Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry shared a cup of coffee. 341 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,337 Lily, those are cartoon characters, 342 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,673 and I'm pretty sure you're making up episodes. 343 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,977 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 344 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,214 Get out. All of you, out! 345 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,882 But it's Thanksgiving. 346 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,717 And I'm a part of it. 347 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,052 Out! 348 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,624 Wait. Where's Barney? 349 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:08,561 Hey, guys, the most amazing thing just happened to me in that other roo-- 350 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,399 Aw, man! 351 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,174 I don't get it. Why'd she just kick us out like that? 352 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,911 [ Ted Narrating ] Then the cabdriver said the last thing any of us wanted to hear. 353 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,513 Where to? 354 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,084 [ Sighs ] I guess we're going home. 355 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,755 Yeah, I don't know where that is. 356 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,169 Lily, where'd you get that? 357 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:54,574 Oh. When Zoey booted us, it made me wanna steal something of hers again. 358 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:58,645 Apartment full of designer labels, and what do I grab? 359 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,814 "Happy Turkey Day, Hannah. Love, Zoey." 360 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,417 I wonder who Hannah is. 361 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,990 Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 362 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:14,894 My husband always spends it with his daughter, so I'm gonna be alone anyway. 363 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,897 Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with either. 364 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:22,101 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 365 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,372 Get out. All of you, out! 366 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,742 We have to go back to Zoey's. 367 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,581 You gotta throw me some addresses, buddy. 368 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,186 [ Zoey Gasps ] Oh, God! 369 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:43,623 - What are you doing here? - Barney let us in. 370 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,025 Barney was here? I was walking around half naked. 371 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:50,029 Aw, man! Wait. Which half? 372 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:54,066 Look, I'm sorry your stepdaughter didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with you. 373 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,869 How do you know that? I just do. 374 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,605 Must be tough. 375 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:02,309 It was the first Thanksgiving Hannah agreed to spend with me, 376 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,845 and then, at the last minute, she... changed her mind. 377 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,848 She hates my guts. 378 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,585 I get that. [ Laughs ] 379 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,988 Uh, you should hang on to this. 380 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,824 You can give it to her next year. 381 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,628 Yeah. Right. 382 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,663 Next year. 383 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,766 Hey, you never know. People don't stay enemies forever. 384 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,304 [ Ted Narrating ] And that's the story of how Zoey and I became friends. 385 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,840 Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. 386 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:37,644 Before we eat, we should take a group picture and send it to Wang Guy. 387 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,679 [ All Exclaiming ] [ Robin ] Oh, great idea. 388 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,180 [ Clears Throat ] 389 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,982 Okay, here we go. 390 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,952 One, two, three. [ Shutter Clicks ] 391 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:51,090 Ted, that is the best-looking turturkeykey I have ever seen. 392 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,861 - Yeah. - Thank you. I just hope it tastes as good as it looks. 393 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,431 [ Ted Narrating ] It didn't. It tasted wrong. 394 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,933 Oops. Forgot to light the candles. Oh, yeah. 395 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,003 [ Ted Narrating ] And just as Barney looked away, 396 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,538 it happened. 397 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,487 ** [ Chorus Vocalizing ] 398 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,269 [ All ] The Gentleman! 399 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:39,472 What happened? I saw it. 400 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:42,208 Aw, come on, Blitz. Now it's just sad. 401 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,843 Aw, man! 402 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,684 Oh, go ahead. I forgot my jacket. 403 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,588 Oh, hold the door. 404 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,593 [ Fabric Ripping ] [ Woman Shrieks ] 405 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,128 [ Barney ] Thank you, God! 406 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:05,131 Aw, man! 407 00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,867 [ Voice ] Blitz!