1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:03,704 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, in my early days of being a professor, 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:07,141 I had one simple goal-- give a lecture that changes someone's life. 3 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,778 Then, one afternoon in 2010, I achieved that goal. 4 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,713 "Unfinished." 5 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,749 Of all the words you could use to describe La Sagrada Familia-- 6 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,686 "brown," "pointy," "weird"-- 7 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,622 the one that really seems to stick is "unfinished." 8 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:25,359 Why? Because on June 7, 1926, 9 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,728 the architect, Antoni Gaudí, 10 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:31,365 whose beard was also brown, pointy, weird and unfinished, 11 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,469 was run over by a bus. 12 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:39,607 And so, his greatest masterpiece would remain forever-- 13 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,745 But first, let's back up a few days. 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,615 Ted, look, across the bar. 15 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,218 Three chicks-- one hot, one kinda hot... 16 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,420 and one whom I'm assuming is reall funny. 17 00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:53,787 We ride! 18 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,427 - What's wrong? - I don't know. Got a burger comin'. 19 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,495 Bro, I told you, 20 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:04,165 if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy. 21 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,400 Yeah, I'm not gonna go through that again. 22 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,138 Hi. Barney Stinson. 23 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,406 And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman. 24 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,778 Thank you for your time. 25 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,849 Fine. I'll have a three-way with Hot and Kinda Hot... 26 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,451 while Giggles works the camera. 27 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,419 I ride! 28 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,221 So get this. 29 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,323 Last night, I was watching TV, and it turns out... 30 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:33,494 some random satellite channel picks up a certain local Chicago newscast. 31 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:36,597 [ Male Announcer ] And now the Eleven O'Clock News with Don Frank. 32 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,665 Boo! 33 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,400 Oh, man. 34 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,402 It's bad enough to have to go through a horrible breakup. 35 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,305 Then to have that person pop up on your TV? Are you okay? 36 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,807 Well, I'll admit, at first I felt a little weird. 37 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,543 But after the initial shock, I realized something. 38 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,145 I've moved on. 39 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,614 [ Clicks Off ] 40 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,449 Finished with that. 41 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,751 [ Sighs ] 42 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,188 It was a peaceful moment of closure. 43 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,422 That's great. 44 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,657 - Good on you. - Yeah. Thank you. 45 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,160 Where's the poop, Robin? Excuse me? 46 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,862 When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean. 47 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,565 Whenever he made the face that you're making right now, 48 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,568 you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house. 49 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,771 Where's the poop, Robin? 50 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,673 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Where's the poop, Robin? 51 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,242 - There's no poop. - Where's the poop? 52 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,610 Okay. 53 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,246 So it wasn't entirely a peaceful moment of closure. 54 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,249 Hey, Don, here's some breaking news. 55 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,918 There's a zit breaking out on your forehead. [ Laughs ] 56 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,823 Finished with that. 57 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,225 [ Shatters ] 58 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,262 Look, I'm not proud. 59 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:44,565 But Don left so quickly that I never got the chance to have that final showdown. 60 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,668 So yelling at him, even on TV, 61 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,403 felt kinda good. 62 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:53,207 And you know what? Now I truly am over him. 63 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,375 That's great. 64 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,809 - Thank you. - Good on you. 65 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,245 Where's the poop, Robin? 66 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,712 Damn it! 67 00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,815 [ Sighs ] Okay, in the process of truly getting over him, 68 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,218 I may have called him... 69 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:07,688 and left an... indelicate voice mail. 70 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,423 I am gonna kill you. 71 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,494 I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you, 72 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,697 put your stupid face on a deep-dish pizza... 73 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,432 and eat it. 74 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,634 And then maybe catch a Bears game. 75 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:24,772 But mostly the "killing and eating your face" thing. 76 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,708 Give me your phone. We're deleting Don's number. 77 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,679 Don't worry. I am never doing that again. It was a one-time thing. 78 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,614 Prove it. "Delete contact." 79 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,215 [ Sighs ] 80 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,319 There. Deleted. [ Beeps ] 81 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,922 Oh. Hey, wow. Back already. 82 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,325 How was flying solo? 83 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,260 And by solo, I mean... 84 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,696 "so low" that you got shot down. 85 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,565 Look, I didn't get shot down. 86 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,901 Trust me, I'll get the "yes." 87 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,971 Barney Stinson always gets the "yes." 88 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,508 This is all part of the plan. 89 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,811 After initial contact, I'm now in the ignoring phase. 90 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,515 Barney, why can't you just take a girl out to dinner like a normal person? 91 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:12,286 Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get the "yes." 92 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,755 Dinner's a very intimate activity. 93 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,525 It requires a level of connection... 94 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,560 and eye contact that sex just doesn't. 95 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,062 Call me old-fashioned, 96 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,064 but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times... 97 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,334 before I'll even consider having dinner with her. 98 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,337 [ Ted Narrating ] The next day at the university, 99 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,004 I had a surprise visitor. 100 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,740 What are you doing here? 101 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,008 Oh, God! You're dating one of my students. 102 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,844 It's Rachel, isn't it? 103 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,613 Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters, but she's 19! 104 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,850 [ Groans ] Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right? 105 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,885 Go on. Tell me every detail. 106 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,921 No, you pent-up old perv. I brought you a present. 107 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,759 Recognize this? 108 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,428 It's my building. 109 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,064 [ Ted Narrating ] Kids, you may remember that a few years earlier, 110 00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:01,769 I was chosen to design the new Manhattan headquarters for Goliath National Bank. 111 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,638 It was the opportunity every architect dreams about. 112 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,575 And when the project was ultimately scrapped, [ Eraser Scratching ] 113 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,343 it broke my heart. 114 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,746 Do you remember how awesome it was to be coworkers-- 115 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,716 nay, bro-workers? 116 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,551 Wait a minute. You don't mean-- 117 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,920 Ted Mosby, it's back on. 118 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,490 We're gonna build your building. 119 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,859 ** [ Upbeat Pop ] 120 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,397 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] 121 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,370 ** [ Ends ] 122 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,642 This is awesome. You're designing our new headquarters? 123 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,879 Now, there will be voices that tell you a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible. 124 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,382 You've got to shut those voices out. 125 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,051 Actually, I think I'm gonna say no. 126 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,620 No? Are you kidding me? 127 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,488 But designing a building in New York City... 128 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,989 is your lifelong dream. 129 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,526 I do not want to work for GNB again. 130 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,861 Those guys are evil. No offense, Marshall. 131 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,763 Dude, none taken. 132 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,098 Yes, GNB is, uh, 133 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,535 the Empire from Star Wars. 134 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,504 But the Death Star's gonna get built either way. 135 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,440 And don't you think the architect of the Death Star... 136 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,741 is pretty psyched to have... 137 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,776 that thing on his space résumé? 138 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,478 I mean, yes, his design was flawed... 139 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,979 in the sense that a single bullet... 140 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,415 fired into a particular vent would explode the whole thing. 141 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,684 For all we know, that was the contractor's fault. 142 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,753 But that won't happen on your watch. You know why? 143 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:26,887 Because you're Ted Mosby, 144 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,121 and you are gonna design... 145 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,190 the most beautiful, ventless, 146 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,826 Rebel-proof building in Manhattan. 147 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,528 With clearly marked emergency stops... 148 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,630 for every trash compactor on the detention level. 149 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:39,066 Look, I know this is hard to understand, 150 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,770 but right now I have a quiet, simple, happy little life. 151 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,472 And I like it that way. 152 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,074 I know what my answer has to be. 153 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,642 I can't take the job, Barney. 154 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,044 I'm done with that life. No hard feelings? 155 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,080 Of course not. 156 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,615 All right. 157 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,752 Hey, Professor Mosby. Hey, Rachel. 158 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,824 [ Ted Narrating ] And I thought that was the end of the story. 159 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,693 - But then that night-- - I'm telling you, 160 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,596 no architect would ever design a giant exposed vent... 161 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,063 right over a Death Star's core reactor. 162 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,065 That's Space Architecture 101. 163 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,167 It had to be the contractor. Barney, come on. Back me up. 164 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,737 Barney? 165 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,973 Dude, this is important. 166 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,142 I need another drink. Marshall, you want anything? 167 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,678 Uh, no. I'm fine. 168 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,718 Okay, I get that he's mad at me for turning down the job, but acting like I'm not even here? 169 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,786 Wait. You turned down the job? When? 170 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,221 This morning. 171 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,223 That's so weird. 172 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,892 Just, like, an hour ago when we were leaving work-- 173 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:41,562 So, uh, you still think Ted's gonna take the job? 174 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,697 [ Scoffs ] Please. I'll get the "yes." 175 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:46,734 Barney Stinson always... 176 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:47,868 gets the "yes." 177 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,236 [ Chuckles ] 178 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,904 Huh. 179 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,106 Am I wrong, or is that exactly what Barney says... 180 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,975 when he's putting the moves on a girl? 181 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,511 Exactly. I mean, it's almost like he's putting the moves on you. 182 00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,147 Yeah, more like the opposite. He's been ignoring me all night. 183 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,685 - Oh! - Oh! 184 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,287 Barney wants me to take the job so bad, he's putting the moves on me? 185 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,957 I hope that's his endgame. 186 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,760 Actually, I don't. I like you two together. 187 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,563 I don't buy it. That's crazy even for Barney. 188 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,198 Okay, well, think about it. We've seen his moves countless times. 189 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,834 What does he do after he's done ignoring a girl? 190 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,937 - Chrissy, I love your glasses. - Really? 191 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,674 They totally pull focus up from that whole chin situation you got going on. 192 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,077 To Chrissy! 193 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,013 The backhanded compliment to lower her self-esteem. A proven winner. 194 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,682 But Barney hasn't done-- Ted, 195 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,750 I admire your loyalty. 196 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,652 You've had that hairstyle forever. 197 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,821 You don't care that it's out of fashion... 198 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,790 or that it's been co-opted by the lesbian community. 199 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:43,757 You stick with it. 200 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:45,593 To Ted. 201 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,562 Hey, Lily. 202 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,765 Don't "Hey, Lily" me. 203 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,835 I smelled poop all the way from the hallway. 204 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,904 [ Sighs ] No, not this again. 205 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,105 Where's the poop, Robin? 206 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,941 Okay, I left Don another message. 207 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,042 [ Gasps ] 208 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,276 "This just in"... 209 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:07,014 is what I'm gonna say when I'm stabbing you. 210 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,050 But that's impossible. You deleted his number. 211 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,020 I tried to, but then this thing popped up on my phone that said, "Are you sure?" 212 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,688 And I wasn't sure. 213 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,256 I can't lie to my phone. 214 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:20,594 Ooh, sweetie, I totally understand. Delete it! 215 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,295 It's not that easy, okay? 216 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,733 You're not just deleting a number. You're deleting a part of your life. 217 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,301 You know, all those memories, all those experiences. 218 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:31,004 It's like you're admitting they're gone forever. 219 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,974 I know, sweetie. I know. 220 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,275 Delete it! 221 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,110 Okay. If it's that easy, 222 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,012 I'm gonna delete one of your numbers from your phone. 223 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,081 See how you like it. My "plezh"! 224 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,383 If you can find a number in there that I don't call regularly, 225 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,085 I'll gladly delete it. 226 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,820 "Super Kicks Karate." 227 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,256 Oh, not that one. That's my dojo. 228 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,024 You have a dojo? 229 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,927 I took an introductory karate class. 230 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,028 [ Karate Yells ] 231 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,097 Oops! Wrong room. 232 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,167 Where do the grown-ups go for the real karate class? 233 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,236 What's the matter, lady? You scared? 234 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,940 [ Laughs ] Of you? Please. I'm a kindergarten teacher. 235 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,076 I hated kindergarten-- 236 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,111 all three times. 237 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,180 [ Karate Yell ] [ Screams ] 238 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,983 But I'm totally gonna sign up for more lessons. 239 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,418 How long ago did you take that class? 240 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,954 I don't know. It was around the time... 241 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,391 when everyone was going, "Whassup?" 242 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:27,094 [ Chuckles ] How do you even remember that? 243 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,963 Whassup! 244 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,066 Lily, this is a number that you will never dial again. 245 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,202 I might. No. No. But you keep it on your phone... 246 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,938 because it reminds you of a version of yourself that you could be, 247 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,407 even if it's a version of yourself that you'll never become. 248 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,842 And that's okay. 249 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,443 No, it's not. 250 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,713 Okay, you know what? There. Gone. [ Beeps ] 251 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,748 Your move, Scherbatsky. 252 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,918 [ Groans ] I finally know what your kind goes through. 253 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,452 [ Door Closes ] I get it now. 254 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,688 For the last time, I don't care how big it was. 255 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,356 It is not the same as giving birth. 256 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,391 Ew. No. 257 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,061 Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted. 258 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,296 - [ Sighs ] - Oh, that sucks. 259 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,432 Although I like you two together. Mmm. 260 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,334 No. He's been doing it... 261 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,370 to try to get Ted to design the new GNB Tower. 262 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,439 Which moves are we talking about? Did he do that thing... 263 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,242 where he brags on himself in the form of a complaint? 264 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:19,713 Man. Every time I take out my business card and women see the GNB logo, 265 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,181 they throw themselves at me. 266 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,816 I miss the chase. 267 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,885 It sucks! 268 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,487 Man, the courtside Knicks seats that are available... 269 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,858 to all upper-level GNB employees are too close to the action! 270 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,726 I keep getting sweat on my suit. 271 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,762 It sucks! 272 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:38,165 Man, GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive... 273 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,500 it gives me the freedom to see any doctor I want. 274 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,469 It sucks! 275 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,338 - He did. - And the intense eye contact thing? 276 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:50,010 So, Ted, would you like to split some jalapeño poppers? 277 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,349 Uh, o-okay. 278 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,851 Yep. 279 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,753 And the thing where he establishes intimacy... 280 00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,354 through physical contact? 281 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,891 You know why jalapeño poppers are so good? 282 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,525 It's the cream cheese. 283 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,895 That is so true. 284 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,062 Yep. 285 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,834 Cream cheese is a mild flav-flavor, so it-- 286 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,004 it balances out the spiciness of the jal-- 287 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,206 the spiciness of the-- the-- 288 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,207 Dude! 289 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,510 So at any point in this, did you say, 290 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:27,981 "Barney, I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. I am not taking that job"? 291 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,818 I-- Well, I mean, not exactly in those-- 292 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,053 - You're loving this. - No. 293 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,788 You are. 294 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,556 You're loving the attention. 295 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,027 It's nice to be wanted, okay? 296 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,863 And, yes, this is a new vest. Thank you all for noticing. 297 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,398 Oh, that's right. You didn't. Barney did. 298 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:49,903 Oh, Teddy, you are so gonna spread your legs and design that building. 299 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,572 [ Gasps ] I am not that kind of architect. 300 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,308 [ Laughing ] 301 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,478 So get this. Robin never deleted Don's number. 302 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,048 Boo! 303 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,582 Oh! Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy. 304 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,451 Give me your phone. Let's delete one of yours. 305 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,953 Uh, okay. Mmm. 306 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,021 No problem. 307 00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,024 If you can find a number that I don't need or shouldn't have in here, be my guest. 308 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,394 But good luck. I keep my phone tight. 309 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,363 - Edwin. - Oh, no. Not that one. 310 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:19,366 That's the booker for the club that my band plays at. 311 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,334 You know, my all-lawyer funk band. You remember. 312 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,204 The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk. 313 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,139 ** [ Funk ] * Your witness lied 314 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:29,042 * So your case is sunk Ha! 315 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,980 * I sentence you to a life of funk * 316 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,614 * Counselors, how do you plead? * 317 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,549 Funky! Funky! 318 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,851 Kick it. 319 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,887 ** [ Continues ] 320 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:46,593 You guys played one gig four years ago. I'm deleting it. 321 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,529 No. No. We're gonna play another gig again, probably really soon. 322 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,564 Just we all got super busy and-- 323 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,269 We're not gonna play another gig again, are we? 324 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,271 Probably not, baby. 325 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,473 See, it's hard to hit that delete button, isn't it? 326 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,176 Well, it's just that without that number in my phone, 327 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,347 I'm just a corporate lawyer working 60 very un-funky hours a week. 328 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,482 Sorry, Marshall. 329 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,318 If I have to, you have to. 330 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,890 [ Beeps ] 331 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,559 Okay. Your turn. 332 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,063 [ Sighs ] 333 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,101 [ Beeps ] 334 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,341 Barney, I gotta tell you something. 335 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,143 Oh. That reminds me-- 336 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,679 I got you... a little airplane. 337 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,449 It represents the spirit of adventure. 338 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,351 Do you like it, Ted? 339 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,519 Do you? 340 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,990 Stop it. Stop looking at me like I'm the only person in the world who matters. 341 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,927 I'm not designing the GNB Tower. 342 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,064 Yeah. I know. You turned it down. We hired someone else. 343 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,065 Oh. 344 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,101 Oh. 345 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:04,037 Can you believe it? He's resorting to the oldest move in the book-- 346 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:07,307 the classic "pretend to take the offer off the table so I'll want it more." 347 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,309 So obvious, right? 348 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,946 As if that's gonna make me be, like, "Oh, God, I never should have said no." 349 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,382 It's not a move, dude. 350 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,285 I executed the paperwork for the new architect this morning. 351 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,619 Barney wasn't lying. 352 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,123 Oh, God, I never should have said no! 353 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,530 Come on. GNB didn't really hire a new architect. 354 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,465 This is just one of Barney's moves. 355 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,735 It's not a move, dude. The senior partners were getting impatient. 356 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,337 I thought you didn't even want the job. 357 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,106 I didn't. 358 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,440 I don't. 359 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,608 I don't. 360 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,742 I don't. 361 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,112 Okay, I'll do it. What? 362 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,147 Ted, it's too late. 363 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,382 I'll design it for half of what you're paying the other architect. 364 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,419 And you know I will do stuff they would never do. 365 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,621 Lobby stuff. 366 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,290 Wow. Half? 367 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,626 Ted, on behalf of Goliath National Bank-- 368 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,594 - Okay, it's a move. - What? 369 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,496 - Dude! - There's no other architect. 370 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,565 I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied. 371 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,435 I was being Barney's wingman, and I never get to be the wingman. 372 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,237 You guys lied to me? 373 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,738 You're the world's worst wingman. You know what? 374 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,206 I'm out of here. 375 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,009 I can do better. Take me back. 376 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,644 You son of a bitch! 377 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,712 Look, I can't do business with people who lie to me. 378 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:23,216 We only lied to you to make you realize that you want this job. 379 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,153 No, I don't. I mean, I-I know I said I did, 380 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,388 but that's only because I fell for the same... 381 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,091 creepy pickup artist voodoo of yours that countless women-- 382 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,225 236. 383 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,393 before me fell for. 384 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,494 Wow. Respect. 385 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,232 No. Ted, you want to do this, okay? 386 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,268 You're just scared of getting hurt again. 387 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,803 But you can't let fear steal your funk. 388 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,606 That is good. There is a song in there. Excuse me. 389 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,644 Come on, Ted. This is your dream. 390 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,713 No. It's not. Not anymore. 391 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,815 And you know what? 392 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,418 Letting go of that dream was the best decision I ever made. 393 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:01,554 You guys actually think I have some lingering itch to be an architect, 394 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,324 work 20 hours a day and weekends to get ulcers... 395 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,094 and pull my hair out and worry and doubt myself, and then, 396 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,363 at the end of it all, have the rug pulled out from under me? 397 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,166 I love being a professor, okay? 398 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,803 All that stupid crap they tell you about how fulfilling teaching is-- it's all true. 399 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,307 I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that. 400 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,375 My answer's no. 401 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,847 Hey, guys. 402 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,383 - Where's the poop, Robin? - How do you do that? 403 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,086 God, you are like a bomb-sniffing dog, except with poop. 404 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,587 You're a poop-sniffing dog. 405 00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,489 I think that's just called a dog. 406 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,425 Where's the poop, Robin? 407 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,793 [ Sighs ] Fine. I called Don again. 408 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,198 Hey, Don, it's Robin again. 409 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,800 Uh, look, I am sorry for all the calls. 410 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,702 It's just I saw you on the news, 411 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,472 and it made me a little crazy for a minute. [ Chuckles ] 412 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,342 I guess I wasn't as over our breakup as I thought. 413 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:59,312 Um, but I want to say from the bottom of my heart, 414 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,114 I am gonna kill you. 415 00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,250 No. [ Chuckling ] No, I'm not. 416 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,352 I am happy for you. 417 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,488 And that Asian slut on your Facebook page-- she's dead too. 418 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,656 [ Beeps ] 419 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,724 I thought you deleted his number. 420 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,261 [ Sighs ] I did. But it turns out I memorized it. 421 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,396 You can't delete contacts from your brain, Lily. 422 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,698 Well, you have to try. If you ever want to have closure-- 423 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,234 I am never gonna have closure. 424 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,902 Okay? Closure doesn't exist. 425 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,372 Okay-- One day, Don and I are moving in together, 426 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,874 and the next thing I know, he's on a plane to Chicago. 427 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,211 It just... ended. 428 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:34,414 ** [ Alt Rock ] And no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, 429 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,783 it will have never not happened. 430 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,352 Don and I will always be a loose end. 431 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,553 We'll always be-- 432 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,722 "Unfinished." 433 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,325 ** [ Continues ] 434 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,594 Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. 435 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,629 But that's not usually how it goes. 436 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:52,399 I mean, usually it isn't a speeding bus... 437 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,602 that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built. 438 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,371 Most of the time, it's just too difficult... 439 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,840 or too expensive or too scary. 440 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,244 It's only once you've stopped... 441 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,445 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 442 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,814 that you realize how hard it is to start again. 443 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,383 So you force yourself not to want it. 444 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,853 But it's always there. 445 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,523 And until you finish it, it will always be-- 446 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,629 [ Man ] * While you're waiting 447 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,698 * For that sound 448 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,501 * What you find [ Tires Screech ] 449 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,337 * Ain't what you had in mind 450 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,372 ** [ Continues ] 451 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,475 Hey, Barney. Hey, Rachel. 452 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,977 Rachel, why aren't you in class? 453 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,946 - Why aren't you in class? - Yeah, Ted. 454 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,748 Why aren you in class? 455 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,819 ** [ Continues, Indistinct ] 456 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,388 You son of a bitch. 457 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:52,759 I'll call Marshall. We'll draw up the contract. 458 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:53,993 Not so fast. 459 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,396 I'm not that easy. 460 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,698 [ Ted Narrating ] And so I made Barney break his golden rule. 461 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,567 I made him take me out to dinner... 462 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,737 before I finally gave him the thing he always got. 463 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:05,838 Yes. 464 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,677 And even though it didn't happen right away-- 465 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,780 [ Male Announcer ] And now the Eleven O'Clock News with Don Frank. 466 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,615 ** [ Continues, Indistinct ] 467 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,549 [ Beeps ] 468 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,386 [ Woman ] Bueno. 469 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,388 Uh, who is this? 470 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,723 No hablo inglés. ¿Quién es? 471 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,859 I'm sorry. Is this 917-456-- 472 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,429 I'm sorry. 465-- No, wait. 473 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,432 Huh. 474 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,501 [ Ted Narrating ] Robin finally got some closure too. 475 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,471 Sorry. Wrong number. 476 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,607 ** [ Man Vocalizing ] [ Beeps ] 477 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,310 Finished with that. 478 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,544 [ Clicks Off ] 479 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,851 ** [ Spaghetti Western Theme ] 480 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,458 Hey, punk, bit of advice-- 481 00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:02,295 Next time you step on a kindergarten teacher's neck, 482 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,431 you better finish the job. 483 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,433 I knew this day would come. 484 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,735 ** [ Gong Chimes ]