1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:05,239
OLDER TED: Kids, up to
this point in the story,
we had found doppelgangers,

2
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,740
eerie but
awesome look-alikes,

3
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,210
for four of
the five members
of our little group.

4
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,244
There was
Lesbian Robin...

5
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,079
(SPITTING)

6
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,482
Mustache Marshall,

7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,585
Stripper Lily...

8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,620
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

9
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:23,524
And Mexican Wrestler Me.
Yes, mine was the coolest.

10
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:27,295
And so, we were all
eager to find the fifth
doppelganger, Barney's.

11
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,430
Turned out it was
more important to
some of us than others.

12
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,665
We agree there's no sense
in having a baby

13
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,135
until we've seen all five
doppelgangers, right?

14
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,070
Of course.
Stands to reason.

15
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,739
Okay, so, when we finally
see Barney's doppelganger,

16
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,709
that's the universe
telling us it's go time,

17
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,078
and that's when
we'll start trying. Deal?

18
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:46,180
Deal.

19
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,481
OLDER TED:
And then one day,
a few weeks later...

20
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:50,851
Baby, were you serious
about the whole fifth
doppelganger thing?

21
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,587
I mean, having a baby
is a pretty big thing to
leave up to the universe.

22
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:57,057
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
It's just so much easier
to let the universe decide.

23
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,094
Why do you ask?

24
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:03,231
Boom! Universed!

25
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,833
Oh, my God! Wait,
wait, wait, hold on.

26
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,336
That could easily be
Barney pulling some
scam to meet chicks.

27
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,204
I'm one step
ahead of you.

28
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,306
Go for Barney.

29
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,675
Barney, hey,
it's Marshall.
So, you are at work?

30
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:17,578
You're not, I don't know,
driving a cab, wearing a wig?

31
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,580
Yes, I'm at work.

32
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,849
That's the sound
of my stapler.

33
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,317
That's the sound of
my three-hole punch.

34
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,219
And this is the sound
of me filing

35
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:28,289
my corporate guidelines
on sexual harassment.

36
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,591
What is up?
Gotta go, Big Chief.

37
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,166
Barney's at work.

38
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,334
That was the
fifth doppelganger.

39
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,370
(SIGHING)

40
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:46,174
Marshall Eriksen,
put a baby in my belly.

41
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,391
I can't wait
to tell the gang.

42
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,559
This is one
of those moments
you dream about.

43
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:10,798
"Guys, Lily and I

44
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,866
"are having unprotected sex."
Ooh, I just got the chills.

45
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,268
We're not gonna
say anything.

46
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,836
What? Why?

47
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,506
Marshall, if we tell them,
we're basically inviting them

48
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,575
into the most private,
intimate moment of our lives.

49
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:22,743
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

50
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,715
You guys banging?
(BOTH SCREAMING)

51
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,884
Keep going.
I'm not even here.

52
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,721
But just for the record,
having a baby, huge mistake.

53
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,356
Now show me
what you got.

54
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,625
Uncle Teddy's here!
(BOTH SCREAMING)

55
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,727
Quick question. How are
you guys gonna handle
the whole Santa thing?

56
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,362
I'm thinking,
just be honest.

57
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,332
(CHUCKLES) Oh, hell.
I'll dress up.

58
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,300
"This just in"
(BOTH SCREAMING)

59
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,336
is what Marshall Eriksen
is about to say to his wife

60
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,604
as he attempts
to impregnate her.

61
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,974
Chopper 12
is live on the scene
with Baby Watch: 2010.

62
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,343
(CHOPPER BLADES WHIRRING)

63
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,352
Okay, fine.
I won't tell anybody
about the baby thing.

64
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,786
Hey, guys.
Hey.

65
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:08,689
Guys, we saw the
fifth doppelganger!

66
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,259
(GASPING) Amazing!
Whoa! That is awesome!

67
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,861
Ooh! Freaky.
A brunette Barney.

68
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,963
I know. Say what you
will about the guy,

69
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,299
but Barney seems
right as a blond.

70
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,668
Well, that's true.
Not every dude can
pull off that blond look.

71
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,969
I don't know
about that.

72
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,472
What?'

73
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,641
That summer
I was lifeguarding at the
Chagrin Falls Country Club,

74
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,444
I was lathering
a little lemon juice
into the old mop,

75
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,913
playing with some
natural highlights.

76
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,682
Let's just say
there were a few
senior citizens

77
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,252
who pretended to
drown on my watch.

78
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,787
And sadly,
one who did.

79
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,491
Anyway,
I'd look good blond.

80
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,326
MARSHALL: Okay, people,
we're in a delicate

81
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:48,362
but very, very
promising situation here.

82
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:52,366
LILY: If we play
the next 30 seconds right,
Ted will dye his hair blond.

83
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,801
ROBIN: Guys, this is mean.
We can't...

84
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,637
Whoa! Just pictured it.
How do we do this?

85
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,006
TED: What are we all
thinking about? Nachos?

86
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,642
MARSHALL: Ted Mosby responds
to one thing above all else.

87
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,312
TED: I don't know.
I'm still kind of
full from lunch.

88
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,746
MARSHALL: A bunch of people
emphatically telling him

89
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,882
not to do something.
Follow my lead.

90
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,851
TED: Screw it.
I could eat.

91
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,587
Yes, we'd all
like some nachos.

92
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,693
I love you, buddy,
but there is
absolutely no way

93
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,061
that you could
pull off blond.

94
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,297
Yeah, it just
wouldn't look right.

95
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,799
Yeah. Seriously, Ted,
don't go blond.

96
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,035
I'm going blond.

97
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,503
No.
No way.

98
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:33,441
That is not the outcome
we were hoping for.

99
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,576
OLDER TED: Now, kids,
Robin and Don were becoming
such a great team,

100
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,811
both off and on the air,

101
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,448
that Local Channel 12
started asking them
to guest-host

102
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,516
some of their other
top-notch programs.

103
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:46,387
* Monty and Moo-Moo
are laughing and
learning with you

104
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:46,854
* Moo-Moo
* Moo-Moo

105
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,557
Moo!

106
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:53,093
So, that's why
Monty and I vowed
never to do drugs,

107
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,928
because drugs are bad.

108
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,097
Right, Monty?

109
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,601
Well, sure.
Man-made, chemical stuff.

110
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,671
But things that
grow in nature,

111
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:07,341
they're okay to try,
like, once or twice.

112
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:10,043
Not looking for
gray areas here, Monty.

113
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,813
I don't think
it's right to lie
to the kids, Moo-Moo.

114
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,049
So, what are you saying?

115
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,052
I've experimented
with drugs.

116
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,855
(GASPING)

117
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,056
OLDER TED: Fun fact,
highest rated

118
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,057
Monty and Moo-Moo
episode ever.

119
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,025
ROBIN: Mmm.

120
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,662
Mmm. What was that for?

121
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,432
Before I met you,
I'd given up
on everything,

122
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,834
relationships,
career, pants.

123
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:40,641
But you made me
wanna try again.
I love you for that.

124
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,442
Oh.

125
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,879
Ooh! Oh, I see. Mmm.

126
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:46,614
(CHUCKLING)

127
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:54,422
Hi. Hey. Hi.

128
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:57,891
Sorry, you don't know me,
but I just wanted to say
thank you.

129
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,861
You're actually
a very important
person in my life.

130
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:07,167
Important? More like
legendary. Marshall,
it's me, Barney.

131
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,169
OLDER TED: Oddly enough,
this would rank as only

132
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,838
the second biggest
surprise of the day.

133
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,774
Wow, this is just
very sudden.

134
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,811
Sure, I can get you
an answer by tomorrow.
Okay. Thanks.

135
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:20,648
(SIGHS)

136
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,819
Ted, something big
has just happened

137
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,087
and you're the most
sensible person I know.

138
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,021
I need to talk
to you right now.

139
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,958
You know what,
it can wait.

140
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:31,925
No, go ahead.
I'm listening.

141
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:37,064
Okay, well,
the executive
producer from WNKW

142
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,100
happened to see our show
the other morning
and loved me.

143
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,170
(SIGHS) They offered me
the lead anchor job
starting next week.

144
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,972
Wow! That's great!

145
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,107
It is great.
But here's the catch.

146
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,175
WNKW is in...

147
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,510
(DRYER WHIRRING)

148
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,644
Helen, kill the dryer!

149
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,781
(WHIRRING STOPS)

150
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,115
Is in Chicago.

151
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,658
But you were
the fifth doppelganger.
How can you be you?

152
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,894
I called you, Barney.
We had a whole conversation.

153
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,129
Ah! Yes.
I know what happened.

154
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,633
See, people at work
have this very
strange expectation

155
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:18,171
that I, well, work.
(SCOFFS) I know. I know.

156
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,173
BARNEY: So to make
my colleagues think
I'm busting my hump

157
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,876
when I'm really out
humping busty chicks,

158
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,145
I decided to record
a special message.

159
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:28,248
(BARNEY ON VOICE MAIL)
What is up?
Gotta go, Big Chief.

160
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,117
How can it be
a recording?

161
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,920
You called me "Big Chief,"
my special workplace nickname.

162
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:34,888
Oh, buddy.

163
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,695
Hey, hey,
come on, Big Chief.

164
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:44,464
Don't. Just don't.

165
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,035
Why does this
have to happen now?

166
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,204
I mean, just when
things are going
so great with Don.

167
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,173
(SIGHING)
It's the never-ending
battle of my life.

168
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,042
Career versus romance.

169
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:58,078
(LAUGHS)
"Never-ending battle"?

170
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,714
Career's been trouncing
romance for years.

171
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,183
It's like the Globetrotters
versus the Generals.

172
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,285
Career's sinking
hook shots from
half court.

173
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,020
Romance is just
a bunch of slow,
white guys

174
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,690
who couldn't make it
in the Italian league.

175
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:14,194
Ted, I'm lost.
What should I do?

176
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,631
Okay, you seriously
need to talk to Don
about this.

177
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:20,200
I'm just too confused
to put this on Don.

178
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,571
I need to leave him
out of it until I
figure out what I want.

179
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,839
That makes sense.
Yeah.

180
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,742
And I'm sorry I can't
give you better advice
on this. The truth is,

181
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,144
it's impossible for me
to be objective about you
moving away.

182
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,783
Mmm.

183
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,017
Did you get
a manicure?

184
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:37,885
No, I didn't get a...

185
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,152
He sure did.

186
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,855
Flo!

187
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,824
Why are you brunette
and driving a cab?

188
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,093
Oh! That.

189
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,895
You know how it's
my dream to have sex
with at least one woman

190
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,029
from every country
on the planet?

191
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,130
Sure.

192
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,769
Wow. You're doing
surprisingly well
in the Baltics.

193
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,005
Mmm-hmm.

194
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,108
So I figured, what's the
quickest way to get around
the world in 180 lays?

195
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,845
Lease a cab and wait outside
the UN building for
hot foreign chicks.

196
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,080
BARNEY: It was
the perfect plan.

197
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,817
There was only one
small detail I didn't
take into account.

198
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,351
Chicks don't want
to bang cab drivers?

199
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,687
Chicks do not want
to bang cab drivers.

200
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:16,189
And I put a lot of
work into this one.

201
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,892
I can't believe this.

202
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,061
Now I gotta tell Lily
the fifth doppelganger
is a fake.

203
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,130
So, what does she care?

204
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:26,233
Lily decided that once
we spotted your doppelganger,

205
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,068
we'd start
trying to have kids.

206
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,871
Kids! No! Uh-uh!

207
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:35,743
The rule is, no kids
until you're at least 45.
Do you ever read my blog?

208
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,245
It's gotten a lot better.

209
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,248
I'm ready to be a dad,
you know?

210
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,817
But Lily needs some sign
from the universe.

211
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,954
And now
it could be years.

212
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,189
I'm sorry, buddy.

213
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,294
That'll be 37.50.

214
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,330
OLDER TED: So, that night,
Marshall went home to break
the bad news to Lily.

215
00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:02,202
The universe has spoken.
Marshall Eriksen,
let's make a baby.

216
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,205
I...

217
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:08,776
Okay.

218
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,046
Hey.
Hey.

219
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,214
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)

220
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:22,022
You... Hang on,
hang on, hang on.

221
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,024
I heard you were doing this,
so I wrote down some stuff.

222
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,026
"Hey, I'm planning
a white wedding.

223
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,428
"Tell me, Billy Idol,
is it a nice day for that?"

224
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,131
Some other
Billy Idol ones.

225
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,367
"If anyone's looking for
the real Slim Shady,
he's right here."

226
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,705
That one's only okay.
Robin, why aren't you
getting in on this?

227
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,774
Okay, first of all,
I'm getting tons
of compliments.

228
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,243
Second of all, tell him.

229
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,211
He's not getting
tons of compliments.

230
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,779
No, the other thing.

231
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,346
ROBIN: Oh.

232
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,117
I might move to
Chicago next week.

233
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,957
Hey, baby.
Mmm-hmm?

234
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,993
Not for nothing or nothing,
but we'd still be doing this

235
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,229
even if we hadn't seen
Doppelganger Barney, right?

236
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:06,867
Oh, but we did see him,
which means the universe,
in all its infinite wisdom,

237
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:10,804
is telling you to stick me
and stick me real good.

238
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:14,241
I can't. I can't,
in good conscience,
stick you.

239
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,710
(SIGHING)

240
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:17,477
I know what's
bothering you.

241
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,179
Really?

242
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,915
The cabbie just
didn't look enough
like Barney.

243
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,954
Well, that's
just not true.

244
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:30,457
No! Time out.
This is a group decision.

245
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:34,061
You can't just move
to Chicago, unless
we all say it's okay.

246
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,163
Barney, I think this
has to be Robin's...

247
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,299
Stay out of this, Brigitte
Nielsen or Dolph Lundgren
from Rocky IV.

248
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:41,068
We need Marshall and Lily.

249
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,903
That cabbie was, like,
a foot shorter than Barney.

250
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,905
He was the exact
same size.

251
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,340
And you know what?
I think he was Asian.

252
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,778
Yeah, that guy was like
a tiny, graying Asian man,

253
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,279
with a soul patch
and a potbelly.

254
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,314
Have you completely
forgotten what
Barney looks like?

255
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,383
You guys banging?
(BOTH SCREAMING)

256
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,118
Why are you
in our bedroom?

257
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,352
(BOTH SCREAMING)

258
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,520
Why are you
in our bedroom?

259
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,089
(BOTH SCREAMING)

260
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,891
Why is Ellen DeGeneres
in our bedroom?

261
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,025
(ROBIN AND BARNEY GIGGLE)

262
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,459
Hey! This is working.

263
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:14,201
Wait a minute.
Candles, flowers.

264
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,304
Oh! I guess Marshall
"forgot" to tell you.

265
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:21,441
The fifth doppelganger
was me.

266
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,544
What, wait,
and you knew about this?
You lied to me?

267
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,346
By omission.
And it's only because

268
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:29,416
this whole "leave it to
the universe" thing of
yours is insane, Lily.

269
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,151
Baby, you knew I needed
to decide if we...
Lily, we need to be

270
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,786
in control of
our own destinies.

271
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,422
Guys! Guys!
We're forgetting what's
really important here.

272
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,857
Ted's blond.

273
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,325
(ALL GIGGLE)

274
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,294
Guys, I am
pulling this off.

275
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,797
Now, Robin has
something important
to tell you.

276
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:44,932
He's not
pulling it off.

277
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,266
No, the other thing.

278
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,300
He got a manicure.

279
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,501
The other thing.

280
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,405
I got a job offer
in Chicago.

281
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,274
Whoa!

282
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,209
That's why we all
came down here,

283
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,378
to try and talk Robin
out of making a huge...

284
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,480
Actually, I've already
made a decision.

285
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,484
(SIGHS) Guys,
I gotta take it.

286
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,127
I can't believe
we're losing Robin.

287
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,598
LILY: Guys, this might be
the depression talking,

288
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,434
but is Ted's hair
starting to look
kind of good?

289
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,536
MARSHALL: Thank God.
I thought I was
the only one.

290
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,239
BARNEY: He looks like
a freaking movie star.

291
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,442
And by the way,
this was a huge mistake.

292
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,844
I'm changing
my hair back.

293
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,012
Smart. Very smart.

294
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,347
Told you.
Not at all awesome.

295
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,217
Hey.
Hey.

296
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:41,054
So, I just got off
the phone with Chicago.

297
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,555
Yes, I have made
a decision. Um...

298
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:53,934
I appreciate the offer,
but I can't take the job.
Thanks.

299
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,237
I'm staying.
Damn straight!

300
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,338
(ALL CHEERING)

301
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:06,079
Hey, Lily.
Tell me something.

302
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,481
You saw actual Barney
driving that cab,

303
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,384
and you thought it was
a petite, potbellied
Asian man.

304
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,086
I know. Weird, right?

305
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,588
It's not weird.

306
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:20,327
It means you're not ready.
And I'm sorry that I tried
to rush things.

307
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,562
Our baby can wait for
the real Doppelganger Barney.

308
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,596
(SIGHS) Oh.

309
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,111
(IN PUPPET VOICE)
Hey, Moo-Moo.

310
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,579
Monty made you
thin crust pizza,
just the way you like it.

311
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,082
ROBIN: Mmm.

312
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,986
You okay?

313
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,188
Robin, you're not
gonna believe this.

314
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,091
I got offered
the lead anchor job
at WNKW in Chicago.

315
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,361
Oh!

316
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,297
Um...

317
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,265
What'd you say?

318
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,601
I said yes.

319
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,506
I've been waiting years
for a shot like this.

320
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,241
I was hoping
you'd understand.

321
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,115
Barney?

322
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,085
(IN ESTONIAN ACCENT)
I am simple street
performer from Estonia.

323
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,420
Who is this Barney?

324
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:24,057
Oh, he's just this guy
we know who has, like,
a really lame blog.

325
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:28,628
I hear it's getting better.
I mean, what is "blog"?

326
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,964
It's just
something that was cool,
like, eight years ago.

327
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:33,366
Still cool. Still sounds
pretty cool, man.

328
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,035
What's your name?
Kristof.

329
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,103
Kristof what?

330
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:41,208
Kristof Doppelganger.

331
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,176
Really?
Yeah.

332
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,212
You're gonna go
with the last name
"Doppelganger"?

333
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,114
That's my name, man.

334
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,349
Bro.

335
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,583
Robin, wait.
Please try
to understand.

336
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,285
Look, I gotta
get out of here.

337
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,654
Put yourself
in my shoes.

338
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,289
I mean, can you
imagine what it's like
to have the phone ring

339
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,690
and it's your dream job
on the other end?

340
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,328
Yes. I can.

341
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,298
Good luck in Chicago, Don.

342
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,172
Barney, why are you
doing this?

343
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,275
Wait a minute.

344
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,379
Could it be that
Barney Stinson actually
wants us to have kids?

345
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,182
Who is this Barney?
Take American chill pill.

346
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,619
Well, let me
tell you about him.

347
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,588
He talks
a big game about

348
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:33,226
how no one should
ever have kids before
they're at least 45.

349
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:37,297
I would be interested
in reading some of these
opinions in blog form.

350
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,100
But I think I know
what happened.

351
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,703
Yesterday, Barney thought
he had to say good-bye to
someone he truly loves.

352
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,039
And it got him thinking.

353
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,340
Maybe it wouldn't be
the worst thing

354
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,209
if a baby joined
our little group.

355
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,281
Babies can be cute.

356
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,083
Mmm.

357
00:16:56,116 --> 00:17:01,121
And someday, he's gonna make
the best uncle in the world.

358
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,790
Because this Barney,
he's family to us.

359
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:17,537
Excuse me.

360
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,107
I heard you're
from Estonia. So am I.

361
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,642
Excuse me one moment.

362
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,680
Estonia would
close out the Baltics!

363
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,684
And I am street performer,
like you.

364
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,268
(GASPING)

365
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,507
Hey.

366
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:55,608
(CRYING)
Say yes to this.

367
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,377
Okay.

368
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,811
Can I move back in?

369
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:04,351
Yes.

370
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:11,424
But, Ted, am I just
the biggest idiot
in the world?

371
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:16,363
Look, think about
all of us five years ago,
when we first met you.

372
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,531
TED: Marshall and Lily
were just boyfriend
and girlfriend.

373
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:21,468
Now they're married
and thinking about kids.

374
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:25,505
And Barney? Barney was
never gonna commit to
anyone, ever.

375
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:29,409
And last year,
he fell in love.

376
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:33,480
And me, I was chasing
some girl I was
convinced was the one.

377
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,384
Now she's one of
my closest friends.

378
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,619
And you?

379
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,555
Five years ago,
you never would've chosen
love over your career.

380
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,625
But today, you did.

381
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,826
Looks like I'm
getting dumber.

382
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,296
No, just more courageous.

383
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,801
Look, we've all been
searching for the five
doppelgangers, right?

384
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,237
Mmm-hmm.

385
00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,907
But eventually, over time,
we all become our own
doppelgangers.

386
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:05,312
You know, these completely
different people who just
happen to look like us.

387
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:11,351
Five Years Ago Robin?
That girl, she was
pretty great.

388
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,624
But Doppelganger Robin?
She's amazing.

389
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:31,304
We've, um...

390
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,905
We've had
a lot to drink.
I don't care.

391
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,577
(LAUGHING)

392
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,379
What?

393
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:39,912
Oh!

394
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,684
I forgot. I'm blond.
I have blond hair.

395
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:45,952
You're blond.

396
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,987
OLDER TED:
And that's the story

397
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,857
of how dyeing my hair blond
kept us from doing something

398
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,925
we both would have
regretted that night.

399
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,527
Kids, the universe is funny.

400
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,873
Oh, my God.

401
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,508
Yes! You're here!
I don't understand...

402
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,843
This is fantastic!

403
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,012
Baby, simmer.
Your husband's right here.
At least attempt to hide it.

404
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547
Guys, follow me.

405
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,720
Guys, look!
The fifth doppelganger!

406
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,393
Uh, Lily?

407
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:27,794
That dude looks...

408
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:31,364
MARSHALL:
Guys, go with it.

409
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,534
OLDER TED: Kids,
you can ask the universe
for signs all you want.

410
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,703
It's uncanny.
Right?

411
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,971
Looks just like Barney.
Amazing.

412
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:41,441
It's like looking
in the mirror.

413
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,943
OLDER TED:
But ultimately, we only
see what we wanna see,

414
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,678
when we're
ready to see it.

415
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,350
So, does this mean...

416
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,553
Marshall Eriksen,
put a baby in my belly.

417
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,821
(LIFESIZE PLAYING)

418
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,925
* All for love we become

419
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:03,062
* Larger than lifesize,
wondersome *

420
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,799
* Great in the eyes
of someone *