1 00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:03,871 (SIGHS) Well, got another one. 2 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,073 Oh, boy. 3 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,740 What's in the box? 4 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,510 (EXCLAIMING) What's in the box? What's in the box? 5 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:13,214 What's in the box? Right? (LAUGHS) 6 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,083 Brad Pitt? Se7en? 7 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,019 Nothing? Yeah, I'm the jerk. 8 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:21,189 What's in the box? 9 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,790 Well, ever since Marshall and Lily got their own place, 10 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,892 his mom keeps sending them boxes of his old stuff 11 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,660 she's trying to get rid of. 12 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,896 (LAUGHS) Thanks, Mom. You really nailed it this time. 13 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,399 I really needed He-Man's right arm, 14 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,867 and this old book of mad libs. 15 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,603 (MARSHALL CHUCKLES) 16 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,938 "Fart went to the fart to fart fartly." 17 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,073 (BOTH LAUGHING) 18 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,741 That's nice. 19 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:41,775 (LAUGHS) That's good stuff. 20 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:42,943 That's good. 21 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,112 Thanks, Mom. 22 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,513 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 23 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,616 Hello. Hello? 24 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,050 Ted Mosby? 25 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,252 Yeah. 26 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:54,054 The window is open. 27 00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,125 The what? 28 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,793 The window is open. 29 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,531 The window is open. 30 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,436 What are you waiting for? Run, Ted, run! 31 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,908 Lily, the window is open. 32 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,310 Make a hole, people. 33 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,180 Run, Ted, run! 34 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:21,982 Sorry. 35 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,284 (TED PANTING) 36 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,854 Ted? Hey. 37 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,055 (CHUCKLING) Hey. 38 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,791 Maggie. I was just, you know... 39 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,127 How are you? 40 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,596 I'm fine, I guess. 41 00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,631 Actually, no, I'm not fine. 42 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,733 I just broke up with my boyfriend. 43 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,503 (EXCLAIMING) 44 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,837 I'm so sorry to hear that. 45 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,606 No, it's... 46 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,908 Do you want to hang out tonight? 47 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:48,842 Sure. 48 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:03,957 It was so fun. You guys liked it. 49 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,259 It was the most... 50 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,327 Please tell me you got in the window. 51 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:07,228 I got in the window. 52 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,729 (ALL CHEERING) 53 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,898 What is going on? What is the window? 54 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,133 You know how everyone has that guy or girl who, 55 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,635 no matter what happens, 56 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,171 you always remember them being the perfect one for you? 57 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,472 Mike Scharz. Lily. 58 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,342 That girl right over there. 59 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:26,046 Well, that girl for me was and still is Maggie Wilks. 60 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,348 We all went to college together. 61 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,817 She was awesome. Everybody loved her. 62 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,653 I think I know what we're dealing with here. 63 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:36,790 Tell me when to stop. 64 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,660 It wasn't that Maggie was hot. She was... 65 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,395 She was the ultimate girl next door. 66 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,864 She was the ultimate girl next door. Still is. 67 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,133 I mean, every guy who meets Maggie falls madly in love with her. 68 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,435 And that's the problem. 69 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,437 Since I've known her, she's only been single 70 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:53,707 for, like, three brief windows of opportunity. 71 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,943 TED: When she moved here and broke up with her college boyfriend, 72 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,912 I waited a month. You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy. 73 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,782 Well, the rebound guy lasted two years. 74 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,684 This is Dave. 75 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,387 After they broke up, I only waited a week. 76 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:10,724 I was still too late. She dated that guy for three years. 77 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,093 The next time, I wasn't messing around. 78 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,364 I was at her door not one hour after they broke up. 79 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:19,267 The only thing she did between becoming single 80 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,834 and the moment I got there, 81 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,337 was go downstairs and check her mail. 82 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:27,475 I was still too late. And she dated that guy for four years. 83 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,279 I wasn't going to let this happen again, 84 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,980 so I begged her neighbor, Mrs. Douglas, 85 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,649 to call me the second she and David broke up. 86 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:39,119 And now, a very single and available Maggie Wilks 87 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,655 is on her way to this very spot. 88 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,691 I sent a cab with a female driver 89 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,360 so she'd have no other interaction with a man until she got to me. 90 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,028 Where she will still have no interaction with a man. 91 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,030 What up? 92 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,500 I feel good tonight. Tonight's going to be good. 93 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,870 Oh, hell, yeah! 94 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,372 It's my overalls. 95 00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,873 I wore these babies all throughout high school. 96 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,642 These were my jam. 97 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,712 God, you really were a virgin before you met Lily, weren't you? 98 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,846 (LILY CHUCKLING) 99 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,114 Well, that's unnecessary. 100 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,716 Oh, she's right, baby. 101 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,818 If you had worn these things in college, 102 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,286 even I wouldn't have slept with you. 103 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,322 And, if you recall, I was good to go. 104 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,156 (BARNEY LAUGHS) 105 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:19,727 No one, I mean, no one could get laid wearing these. 106 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,061 (LAUGHING) 107 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,163 Challenge accepted. 108 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:27,568 I, Barney Stinson, being of sound mind and amazing body, 109 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,471 will wear these overalls until I have sex with a woman. 110 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,708 I actually dated that guy. Yeah. 111 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,744 (SIGHS) Okay. Quick game plan. 112 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,246 Maggie shows up, couple minutes of hugs and "Hi"s 113 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,914 and then everybody's out of here. 114 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,817 This is my one shot. I am not gonna screw this up. 115 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,486 Who'd you get to cover your class tonight? 116 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,888 Crap! Oh, my God! 117 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,957 Hey. (LAUGHS) Hey. 118 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,058 Oh, my goodness. 119 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,560 Hey, stranger. Hey. 120 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,127 Maggie, this is my roommate, Robin. Hey. 121 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,295 (GIGGLING) Hey. Nice to meet you. 122 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,097 (GIGGLING) Nice to meet you, too. 123 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,600 Um, I totally forgot I have to teach a class tonight. 124 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,535 Hey! Wanna come with me 125 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,204 and check out a real live architecture class? 126 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,873 (EXCLAIMS) Not even a little bit. 127 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,608 You know, I'll just hang here with Marshall and Lily. 128 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,276 It'll be fun. Fantastic. 129 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,345 Okay. Well, have a seat. Relax. 130 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,714 Yeah, this is casual. 131 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:17,818 This is all very, very, very casual. 132 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,520 Listen to me. You want me to find the perfect girl 133 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,122 so we can all grow old together? That is her. 134 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,124 Do not let any guy near her, okay? 135 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,027 That means no waiter takes her order, no busboy clears her table. 136 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:30,764 If she bursts into flames, I want a fire woman putting her out. 137 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,533 I don't think 911 takes requests. 138 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,068 Damn it, Marshall! 139 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,605 Whatever you have to do, keep Maggie Wilks single until I get back. 140 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,444 I left my tab open. Don't abuse it. 141 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,086 Target secure? Target secure. 142 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,791 Oh, my gosh. How weird. (LAUGHS) 143 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,760 We all walked out of the bathroom at the same time. 144 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,162 Well, let's all walk back to the booth together. 145 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,130 (WOMEN CHUCKLING) 146 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:09,169 (CLEARS THROAT) Oh, my. Look at this, the table where we are sitting. 147 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,438 Back off! 148 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,710 Okay, um, not that I care about this challenge, 149 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,112 but it's cheating to wear overalls over a suit. 150 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:20,380 No, it's not. 151 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,850 They're not called "over-T-shirts," Robin. 152 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,818 They're not called "over shirtless fat guys 153 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,454 "who used to come fix my mom's car 154 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,788 "and then hang out with her upstairs for a little while." 155 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:31,258 No. They're called overalls, okay? 156 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,126 And I can wear them over whatever I want. (CLICKS TONGUE) 157 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,095 Hey. 158 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,597 Oh, he's not saying hello, 159 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,165 he's just telling you what he feeds his horsies. 160 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,233 (GIGGLES) 161 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,670 Oh, man, I can sit here 162 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:46,306 and make you-look-like-a-farmer jokes all night. 163 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,477 (CHUCKLES) Challenge accepted. 164 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,745 Good evening. Tonight, we're gonna have a nice, quick class on bridges. 165 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,914 There are six types of bridges. 166 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,016 Beam, cantilever, arch, suspension, and two others. 167 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,485 You got land on both sides, water in the middle. 168 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,819 See you all next week. 169 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,154 Hey, we get you for the whole hour. 170 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,023 Oh, come on. I mean, who really wants to sit here 171 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758 and listen to me yap about bridges for an hour? 172 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,595 Really? 173 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,897 (EXCLAIMS) 174 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,632 I just thought about how awesome Ted is again. 175 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,133 (LILY AND TED LAUGHING) 176 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,070 This is a weird drinking game. 177 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,939 Can I buy you a drink? 178 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,109 (IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) He's got a big brown jug with three X's on it. 179 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:25,178 What have I done? 180 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:30,951 One very important thing to keep in mind when designing a bridge... 181 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,786 Maggie? 182 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,255 Oh, no. 183 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,324 I mean, yes. 184 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,260 Yes, when you are designing a bridge, always remember, 185 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,563 "Make adjustments, 186 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,533 "go get it energized." 187 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,370 That's good advice for life, too. 188 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,875 So, Professor Mosby, is this Maggie someone special? 189 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,044 No. I... 190 00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,648 She's just this girl I've been into for a really long time, 191 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,149 and, well, tonight could be the one chance I have 192 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,684 to go out with her, so... 193 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,788 Is she a hottie? 194 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,890 Yes, Jamie. She's very attractive. 195 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,059 And if we can just end class right now... 196 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,493 Betty? 197 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,395 Maggie may finally be available, 198 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,430 but what about you, Professor Mosby? 199 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,667 Are you ready for a serious relationship? 200 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,268 Totally. 201 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:26,039 I mean, I think so. Maybe. 202 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,008 I don't know. What do you guys think? 203 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,047 Oh, my gosh. I totally forgot about this. 204 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,215 What is it? 205 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,651 It's a homework assignment from when I was 15. 206 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,887 Write a letter to your 30-year-old self 207 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,889 with a list of goals you hope to achieve. 208 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:42,856 (LAUGHING) 209 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,257 Um... 210 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,259 "Dear future me." 211 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,195 (INFORMER PLAYING) First off, you'd better be driving either 212 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,498 a kick-ass Camaro or The A-Team van. 213 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,401 That's priority numero uno. 214 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:58,572 And by now your rat tail should hang down to your freaking knees. 215 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,507 You can still slam dunk, obviously, 216 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:04,344 and you've legally changed your name to "Vanilla Thunder." 217 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:08,448 Your wife, let me break it down, blonde, six-feet tall, 218 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,885 has an awesome rack and caters to your every need. 219 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,822 Sorry, babe. That's okay. 220 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,489 You just described your mother. Ew! 221 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,791 Keep going. 222 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,727 "You're still rocking..." 223 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:20,928 You're still rocking the stone-washed overalls, 224 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,764 because this look is working. 225 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:27,801 Oh, and most importantly, you'd better be saving the world. 226 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,470 If you became some lame corporate sellout, 227 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:34,307 just throw yourself off a cliff, because you suck. 228 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,445 And I licky boom-boom down. 229 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,813 (INFORMER CONTINUES PLAYING) 230 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,584 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 231 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,286 Yeah, hilarious. 232 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,622 I became a lame corporate sellout. (SIGHS) 233 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,491 I work for GNB, the most evil bank in the history of the world. 234 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,126 Oh, come on, Vanilla Thunder, 235 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,828 everyone's got to grow up and get a real job. 236 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,064 Yeah, I remember back in college 237 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,433 Maggie wanted to be a marine biologist by day 238 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,503 and mentor inner-city kids by night. 239 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:04,672 What did you really end up doing? 240 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,339 Those things. 241 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,681 Baby, where are you going? 242 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:17,685 I just gotta... I gotta do something at work. It won't take long. 243 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,387 What's up with Marshall? 244 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,725 Oh, no. I think he's going to quit his job. 245 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,694 I'm sorry, Maggie. I gotta go stop him. 246 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:33,366 (INAUDIBLE) 247 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,941 Ted, I had to leave the bar, but it's okay. I left Maggie with Robin. 248 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,076 You left Maggie with Robin? 249 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,715 Relax. I've got things under control. 250 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:48,949 You don't understand the situation. 251 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:52,385 This girl is like a super-powered man magnet. 252 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,856 Oh, Teddy. I know a little something about man magnets. 253 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,424 You see, your friend may be one of those magnets 254 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,193 that can hold up a picture of your kids on the fridge, 255 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,731 but I'm one of those magnets that can pick up cars in a junkyard. 256 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,534 Who's this? Robin, this is Jim, 257 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,769 a good friend of mine from work. 258 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,305 Oh, well, hello there. (GIGGLES) 259 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,907 Nice to meet you. 260 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,776 Oh, boy. 261 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,949 What does being "ready" even mean? 262 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,717 I mean, I thought I was "ready" last year. 263 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,185 I wound up getting left at the altar. 264 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,555 I'll be honest, guys. 265 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,023 I'm a little scared. 266 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,794 Okay, Louis, then Betty. 267 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,897 We're all scared, Professor Mosby. 268 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:40,067 Doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important? 269 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,203 Yeah. 270 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,939 I mean, if you're not scared, you're not taking a chance. 271 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,440 And if you're not taking a chance, 272 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,442 then what the hell are you doing? 273 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,343 Right? 274 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,048 I think you're ready, bro. 275 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,417 (STUDENTS AGREEING) 276 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,255 (ALL LAUGHING) 277 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,556 Jim, you are so funny. 278 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,526 Funny? I think he's hilarious. 279 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:10,330 In fact, I laughed so hard, I think I may have just peed my pants. 280 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,903 I'd better take off. 281 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,038 I'm going to the opening of that photography exhibit 282 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,272 that they were talking about at work, 283 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,540 Les Chiens Erotiques. 284 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,775 (EXCLAIMS) 285 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,210 I have an extra ticket if you want to... 286 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,013 Me? I'd love to! 287 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,583 All right, I gotta go. 288 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:31,952 One last piece of advice. 289 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,621 Make adjustments... 290 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,489 STUDENTS: Go get it energized! 291 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,994 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 292 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,263 Hello? 293 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,765 Ted, change of plans. 294 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,235 You left her with Barney? 295 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,938 Ted, will you take it easy? I'm your bro. 296 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,806 You're an animal. 297 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,808 And even though our bro-lationship 298 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,609 has suffered its setbacks in this area, 299 00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,778 I assure you I will be the perfect gentleman. 300 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,248 Oh. Thanks. 301 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,150 By the way, I really like those overalls. 302 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,318 You have 10 minutes to get down here or the window's closing. 303 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,453 10 minutes? 304 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,288 Yeah. Because we're bros. 305 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,964 OLDER TED: While I was racing through the streets of New York, 306 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,932 trying to get back to the bar, 307 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,634 your Aunt Robin was doing her best to keep Jim away from Maggie. 308 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,470 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 309 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,272 Do you want to go back to the bar and see if Maggie's still there? 310 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,741 (EXCLAIMS) No way! I love erotic dog photography. 311 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,344 Did you see the one over there of the corgis doing it people style? 312 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,346 (LAUGHING) 313 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,983 I'll get us a taxi. I just feel bad leaving Maggie all alone. 314 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,351 No! Let's have a glass of wine first. 315 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,553 (SIGHING) 316 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:42,589 (EXCLAIMS) 317 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,258 Oh, man. 318 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,826 (EXCLAIMING) 319 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,996 Look how filthy I am. 320 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:52,332 I am just a filthy, filthy girl 321 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,067 who would totally go to second base with a guy 322 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,768 as a favor to a friend. 323 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,905 (MOANING) 324 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,372 You like that? 325 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,041 (MOANING) 326 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,611 I'm going to call Maggie, see what she's doing. 327 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:08,781 Oh, God! Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Give it a rest, jeez! 328 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,950 She's hanging out with Ted tonight. 329 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,751 Ted? What about David? 330 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,620 They broke up. 331 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,988 Maggie's single? 332 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,489 That doesn't sound familiar. 333 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,325 Uh... 334 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,095 Can I help wipe that off? 335 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,097 Please? 336 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,336 I hate Barney Stinson! 337 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,470 WOMAN: Me, too! 338 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,343 OLDER TED: Lily finally got to GNB, but the place was deserted. 339 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,285 Hey, baby. 340 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:49,422 I thought you came here to quit your job. I forgot about the hoop. 341 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,359 Yeah. I thought if I could just do one thing in that letter, 342 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:57,064 I wouldn't feel like such an old sellout, so I came out here to dunk. 343 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,799 Did it make you feel better? 344 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,135 I barely grazed the bottom of the net, 345 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,237 and now my legs hurt so bad, I can't even fall down. 346 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,908 (LAUGHING) Wow! 347 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,577 How could you? 348 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:14,247 Ted, I challenged myself to get laid wearing overalls. 349 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,783 And if you stand in my way, then you're letting Barney win. 350 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,986 And you don't want that. 351 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,220 That smug son of a bitch will never let us hear the end of it. 352 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,155 Oh, thank God. Maggie... 353 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,591 Where do you think you're going? 354 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,293 To tell that girl I love her. Get in line, bub. 355 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,727 Yeah. I'm going to have sex with her, 356 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,862 then he's going to tell her he's in love with her, 357 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,133 and then you can do whatever you want. Do we agree on the order? 358 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,636 Mister! You just missed out on the night of your life. 359 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,407 (PANTING) The night of your life. 360 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,215 I've been in love with her for five years. 361 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,083 I've been in love with her for 12 years. 362 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,585 I've been in these overalls for an hour and a half. 363 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,690 Hey, maybe you can't dunk anymore, 364 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,160 but you've achieved more in your 30 years 365 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:03,396 than that 15-year-old dweeb could ever dream of. 366 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,598 You put yourself through Columbia Law School. 367 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,368 You had the sense to chop off that stupid rat tail. 368 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,970 And you married a smoking-hot chick 369 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,740 who looks nothing like your mother. 370 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,577 I think that earns you an entire foot closer to dunking. 371 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,314 There you go, Vanilla Thunder. 372 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,418 Step back. 373 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,330 (MARSHALL SCREAMING) 374 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,833 Oh, baby. 375 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,303 How about instead of dunking, we go up to your office, 376 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:47,006 and you lie very still while I go bananas all over you? 377 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,709 MARSHALL: Could we maybe instead just do it right here? 378 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,112 Sure, baby. 379 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,513 She loves me! But I chose her! 380 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,648 Guys! Guys! Guys, we have to figure this out. 381 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,584 We are dealing with a very small window of opportunity here. 382 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,552 Guys, let me assure you, if you let me in there, 383 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,021 that window's gonna open up again in, like, 10 minutes. 384 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,093 Wait, where's Maggie? She's gone. 385 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,460 What? I sent her home. 386 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,096 You guys were like vultures fighting over her. 387 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,597 Let her be single for once. 388 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,599 Jealous bitch! Robin, how could you? 389 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,467 No, she's right. 390 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,404 Maggie deserves some time to herself. 391 00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,207 Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup, 392 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:23,110 but that's when we discover who we really are 393 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,645 and what we really want. 394 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,448 She deserves that. 395 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,383 OLDER TED: And kids, I meant that. 396 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,785 Which is why I'm not proud of what happened next. 397 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,660 It's around the corner. 398 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:46,866 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 399 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,635 (MEN GROANING) 400 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,471 Hey. Maggie, sorry. Class ran a little... 401 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:52,439 Who's this? 402 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,006 (CHUCKLES) This is Adam. 403 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,975 And it's so crazy. 404 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,344 We grew up next door to each other. 405 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,512 God, we haven't seen each other since... 406 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,880 (LAUGHS) A long time. (LAUGHS) Yeah. 407 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,250 OLDER TED: And then Maggie Wilks told us 408 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:06,319 the second-greatest love story I've ever heard. 409 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,690 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 410 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,281 I just moved to town and I had to look her up. 411 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,682 (MAGGIE LAUGHS) 412 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,784 I guess we've got a lot of catching up to do. 413 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,320 Yeah. Yeah, of course. 414 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,990 OLDER TED: So, kids, I missed out on the ultimate girl next door 415 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,092 to the guy next door. 416 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:49,329 Well, see you next time. 417 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,431 OLDER TED: There was no "next time." 418 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,333 Maggie's window never opened again. 419 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,074 Hey! Hey, I got it! 420 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,976 That country bar, Giddy-ups! 421 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,246 The overalls have gotta work there. Wingman me? 422 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,847 I don't want Giddy-ups. 423 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,318 I want that. 424 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:15,087 I forgot what it feels like to chase the real thing, 425 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,257 but I think I'm ready again. 426 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:19,259 Yeah. 427 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,661 Let me tell you where I'm at. 428 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,666 I wanna have sex with a girl so I can take off these overalls. 429 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,069 Come on. Come on! 430 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:34,407 Ted, you gotta help me! I gotta get these damn things off! 431 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,508 MRS. DOUGLAS: Hey there. 432 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,281 I just love your overalls. 433 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,339 MARSHALL: Dear 60-year-old Marshall. 434 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,141 By now you should be working somewhere that's making the world a better place. 435 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,810 Or at least trying to. 436 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,212 No pressure, dude. I mean, sir. 437 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,884 Also, if time travel is possible, 438 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,920 maybe you could give me a little sign 439 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:25,425 on Tuesday, December 8th, at 8:29 p.m. 440 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,401 So, someone sent back these chicken wings, 441 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:38,705 because they were too hot. And I'm like, "Too hot? Are you crazy?" 442 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:41,207 So, free wings. 443 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,210 MARSHALL: Old man Marshall, as long as you're still married to Lily, 444 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,978 you're doing just fine. 445 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,820 Sir, this is on us. Sorry the wings were so hot. 446 00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:57,089 Oh, no, dear. It wasn't that they were too hot. 447 00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,991 It's just that I had wings earlier. 448 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,730 Much earlier.