1 00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:05,923 I can't believe Metro news 1 is just forwarding you all this fan mail now. 2 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,550 I know. I quit, like, four months ago. 3 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,886 Wow, you had more fans than I thought. 4 00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:13,181 And only about 60% of them are prison inmates. 5 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:17,602 What are these guys thinking? I am way past my dating prisoners phase. 6 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,438 It's like, hello, I'm not 19 anymore, you know? 7 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,357 Lottery girl's on. 8 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:27,737 I just feel sorry for these women. This is where broadcast careers go to die. 9 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:31,324 Check it out. I make it fun. I invented a little game. 10 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,076 Tonight's lotto numbers are... 11 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,747 Nineteen... 12 00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,956 Age you moved to New York 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,120 after a photographer "discovered" you at a food court 14 00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:42,919 and said he'd get you in vogue magazine. 15 00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,086 Fifty-three... 16 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,772 Number of semi-nude pictures he took of you 17 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,217 before you realized he had no connection to vogue magazine. 18 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,551 Twenty-two... 19 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:52,053 Age you claim you are. 20 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,346 Thirty-one... 21 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,972 Age you actually are. 22 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,599 Forty-five. 23 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,911 Number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, 24 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:01,270 out of your dress, and into my jacuzzi. 25 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,856 And the super big ball is... 26 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,484 What happens after we get out of the jacuzzi 27 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,944 what up? 28 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:26,671 Older Ted: Kids, by the winter of 2009, Robin had been unemployed for months. 29 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,422 But there was a glimmer of hope. 30 00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,758 Hey, how'd the audition go? 31 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,302 Well, I went in there feeling really good. 32 00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:35,930 I heard it was just me up against two other girls. 33 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,515 Listening. 34 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,940 Hi. 35 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,817 Robin scherbatsky. 36 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,361 And you are? 37 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,490 You've obviously never spent any time in Denver. 38 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,826 Rochelle Harper, news center 12. 39 00:01:56,909 --> 00:02:01,580 We were only the number one station in the rockies for five straight years. 40 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:04,375 I was an anchor here in town at Metro news 1. 41 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:09,463 Ooh, an anchor. You must have a killer signoff phrase. 42 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,548 I'm sorry? 43 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,633 You gotta have a killer signoff phrase. 44 00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:17,221 Like Walter cronkite. "And that's the way it is." 45 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,140 So what's yours? 46 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:21,726 Well, I would just always end with a simple 47 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,563 "from all of us here at Metro news 1, have a good evening." 48 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:33,571 Mine is "from all of us here at Barney's apartment, get out." 49 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,743 You didn't let those reporter bitches psych you out, did you? 50 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,162 And the president's economic team is 51 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,706 hoping to have a proposal before congress 52 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,374 by the end of the month. 53 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:49,086 From all of us here at news 10, have a good evening. 54 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,051 So, good night, New York. 55 00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:59,388 And may the road ahead be lit with dreams and tomorrows. 56 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:03,809 Which are lit with dreams, also. 57 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:09,648 Wow. That's terrible. And bad, also. 58 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:11,859 I wasn't done. 59 00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:17,907 Stand tall, New York. Trustworthy. Recycling. 60 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,452 Wear a condom. 61 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,663 Wear a condom? 62 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:28,042 I'm not gonna be the new channel 10 anchor, am I? 63 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,127 Thisjust in. No. 64 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,215 Maybe the problem is your resume. 65 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,300 See how mine is lean and mean? 66 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,843 Yours is too cluttered. 67 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,513 Like everything on your resume is so relevant. 68 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:44,517 "Program director, 88.1 wesleyan university radio?" 69 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,560 Oh, god. Dr. X? 70 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,896 You're still bragging about Dr. X? 71 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,399 Who was Dr. X? Nobody knows. 72 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,275 He was this genius mystery dj. 73 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,652 It was Ted. 74 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,779 His identity remains a secret to this day. 75 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,114 It was Ted. 76 00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,325 But this phantom of the airwaves changed the very face of college radio. 77 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,494 It was Ted. And your show sucked. 78 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:09,041 Ted: Dr. X here, shooting truth bullets at you from an undisclosed location. 79 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:12,211 Because if they knew where I was, they'd shut me down. 80 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:16,465 You're on the third roor of the student center next to the game room, you tool. 81 00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:18,592 I've been getting a lot of letters about my segment 82 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:21,387 on how racist the school's meal plan is. 83 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,557 How are you getting letters if no one knows where you are, douche? 84 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,476 That's why I'm organizing a happening outside the dining hall, 85 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,769 Monday at midnight. 86 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:31,272 It's high time the food service puppet masters 87 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:34,233 took ignorance and injustice off the menu. 88 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,944 Boy: Hey, Ted, we need a fourth for foosball. 89 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,029 What are you doing in here, anyway? 90 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,991 Dude, get out of here! I'll be there in a second. 91 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:47,163 So, remember, dining hall, Monday, midnight. Another Dr. X happening. 92 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:51,459 I'll be there, because x marks the spot-ot-ot-ot. 93 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:56,422 If you think people liked your show, they did not-ot-ot-ot. 94 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:59,049 This is weird. Look what got mixed in with your fan mail. 95 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,134 What? 96 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,304 It's from the us. Department of immigration. 97 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,765 It's postmarked two months ago. 98 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,731 Oh, boy. What is it? 99 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,441 It's about my work visa. 100 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:19,987 Unless I can find a job in the next seven days, 101 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,740 they're gonna send me back to Canada. 102 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,017 I can't believe you might be kicked out of the country. 103 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,668 I know. My whole life is here. 104 00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,337 No. We won't let this happen. 105 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,981 I mean, one of us will help you find a job. 106 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,341 Yeah, I bet I can get you something at my school. 107 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,052 No, guys. Itdoesnt work that way. 108 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:47,056 Robin only gets her work visa if she gets a job in her field. 109 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:51,185 I mean, you know what? I guess you could stay if you married a us. Citizen. 110 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,562 Yeah, that could work. 111 00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:55,773 No, no. They could never process that and 112 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,733 make it official in time. That won't work. 113 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,026 I'm screwed. 114 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,946 I've been sending out my reel for three months, and nothing. 115 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,669 Well, maybe there's something in your reel 116 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,032 that people aren't responding to. 117 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,784 Let's take a look at it, right? 118 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,288 That's a good question, norm. 119 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:15,626 Okay, the first thing is from when I was a cub reporter for channel 22 in red deer. 120 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:19,463 In alberta. In Canada. 121 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,215 All: Ooh. 122 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,883 Canada. Right. 123 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:25,219 Well, the snow's coming down pretty hard, 124 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,556 but these intrepid fishermen are still happy to be out competing, 125 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:34,186 in lake athabasca's bass fishing jamboree, an August 1st tradition. 126 00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:36,021 Back to you, norm. 127 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,903 What? That was my firstjob. It shows where I came from. 128 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,239 Unless a bear attacks you in the next three seconds 129 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,116 and you snap its neck with your legs, 130 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,867 that has no business being on your reel. 131 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,787 No, no, I get it, I get it. 132 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,081 Where you're from is part of who you're selling. 133 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,417 For instance, under special skills on my resume, 134 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,377 I mention that back in Minnesota, 135 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,921 I was the 1995 nicollet county slam dunk champion. 136 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,507 You put dunk champion on your resume? 137 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,842 Yeah, why wouldn't you? 138 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,177 A lot of companies have basketball teams. 139 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,762 It's good for them to know 140 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:11,599 that vanilla thunder can still take the rock to the hole. 141 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,267 They called you vanilla thunder? 142 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,685 Yeah, vanilla thunder. 143 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:18,188 The ghost in the post. The human turnstile. 144 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,066 I didn't play that much d. 145 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,484 You can't still dunk. 146 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,194 Of course I can. 147 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,989 Well, I mean, I could, until recently. 148 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,699 Until the injury. 149 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,243 It's called iliopsoas tendonitis. 150 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,120 Yikes. That sounds bad. 151 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,998 It's more commonly known as dancer's hip. 152 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,587 Dr. Goodman... 153 00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:47,301 Oh, come on! Iliopsoas tendonitis. That's what it's called. 154 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,886 That's all it's called. 155 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,682 Iliopsoas tendonitis. It's a basketball injury. 156 00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,975 You know, it's no big whoop. 157 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:57,478 Dancer's hip, Marshall has something called dancer's hip. 158 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:58,812 Okay, no, no, okay. 159 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:03,609 They only call it that, look, because it's very common with ballet dancers. 160 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,322 So, tell me, do any of the other little girls 161 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,948 in your class have dancer's hip? 162 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:11,032 Yeah, sure. 163 00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,515 I have more of atechmcalquesfion yes? 164 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:16,080 Is it easier to dance when you don't have external genhaha? 165 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,791 Good, don't build to that, just go right for it. 166 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,127 Guys, come on. Marshall didn't get this injury from dancing. 167 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,629 Thank you, Lily. 168 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,839 Clearly, the stirrups were set a little 169 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,258 too wide during his last trip to the gyno. 170 00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:33,430 Guys, guys, I hate to cut you off before Marshall bursts into tears, 171 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:39,687 but, Robin, check this out. What you need is an awesome video resume. 172 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:44,108 Like mine. I present 173 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,486 barneysvideoresume.com. 174 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,546 Oh! Hello. 175 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,757 Ba me y: Barney Stinson, you've achieved great success 176 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:11,885 in business, athletics and personal relationships 177 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,513 and have been an inspiration to many people. 178 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,976 Is that you? Are you interviewing yourself? 179 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,604 How can it be me? That guy's British. 180 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,858 What would you recommend to your numerous admirers 181 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,318 who want to reach their highest potential? 182 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,779 And a wee bit Scottish. 183 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:35,868 The first thing you need to know about success is that it doesn't just come to you. 184 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:41,999 Most people associate success with money and power, but really, it's a state of mind. 185 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,588 You had to be on a motorcycle to say that? 186 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:52,176 And when it comes to success, the only limit is that there are no limits. 187 00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:55,763 Hey, I didn't know you knew how to stand near a horse, that's impressive. 188 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:56,847 Barney, I don't get it. 189 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,057 You don't do a damn thing in any of these clips. 190 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,894 Exactly. Because that's who corporate america wants, 191 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,605 people who seem like bold risk takers, 192 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,607 but never actually do anything. 193 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,443 Actually doing things gets you fired. 194 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,613 In fact, I'm writing a book on this very phenomenon. 195 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,840 Really, you're writing a book? 196 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:17,409 No, that would be doing... Are you even listening? 197 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,248 All my life, I have dared to go past what is possible. 198 00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,667 Ba me y: To the impossible? 199 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,920 Actually, past that, 200 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:34,134 to the place where the possible and the impossible meet to become 201 00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:35,928 the possimpible. 202 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:38,764 The possimpible? Really? 203 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,476 Inventing your own word shows creativity and vision. 204 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,269 Visativity. 205 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:50,359 If I can leave you with one thought, it's this, 206 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:55,113 nothing and everything is possimpible. 207 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,450 Barney Stinson, Barney Stinson 208 00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,285 that guy's awesome 209 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:04,331 is that you again? Are you singing a song about yourself? 210 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,251 Absolutely not. That would be lame. 211 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:12,673 Stinson, Barney Stinson singing this song 212 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,383 that would be really lame 213 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:18,679 one of the many admirers who think that guy's awesome 214 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,056 perfect and available 215 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,059 awesome, awesome, awesome awesome, awesome, awesome 216 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,770 awesome! Awesome! 217 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,857 Awesome, awesome, awesome awesome, awesome, awesome 218 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,567 awesome! 219 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,496 That baby got me 11 job offers. 220 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,331 Yeah. No. No way. 221 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:49,042 Barney, that was ridiculous and insane. 222 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,377 Insane-ulous. 223 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,463 Make me one. What? 224 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,507 Yes, now you're talking. What? 225 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:58,260 I'm about to be deported. I'll try anything. 226 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,554 Okay, we better get started. There's a lot to shoot, 227 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,283 and I don't think I can use any of the footage I already have of you. 228 00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:06,143 What footage do you already have of me? 229 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,270 Let's just get started. 230 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:14,985 Sweetie, are you still upset about the dancer's hip jokes? 231 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,905 We were just kidding. 232 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,907 We all know it's a basketball injury. 233 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,742 Yeah, no, totally. 234 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,039 Lily, I have something I need to tell you. 235 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,999 What is it? 236 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,919 I dance more than you know. 237 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:34,922 What? 238 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:38,300 Idance, more than you know. 239 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,013 I don't know how to respond to that. 240 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:49,394 So, romn, what does being a reporter mean to you? 241 00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,980 Well, ever since I was a little kid... 242 00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,523 Cut! 243 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,360 Robin, you're getting bogged down in specifics. 244 00:12:56,443 --> 00:13:00,822 I need you to just say vague, confident-sounding buzzwords, 245 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,908 like synergy and dynamism. 246 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,619 You can make up a word, like linkativity. 247 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,706 How will sounding like an idiot get me hired anywhere? 248 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,833 Okay, fine. Don't do it. 249 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,186 Anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of 250 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,170 exciting stories to cover back in Canada. 251 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,465 I just read that the mayor of winnipeg's nephew went ice fishing 252 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,717 and caught himself a 16-pound walleye. 253 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:25,055 "Reporting live from the worst place in the world, I'm Robin scherbatsky." 254 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432 Okay, fine. Roll camera. 255 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,187 Connectitude. 256 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,480 Loveit 257 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,358 transformatation. Earn it! 258 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,693 Linkativity! 259 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,404 Yeah, iinkativity's mine. 260 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,660 So, how much dancing are we talking about? 261 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:51,206 I don't... I guess I'd say medium. 262 00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:55,502 Why are you dancing so much, and why don't I know about it? 263 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,587 It's something I do when I'm alone. 264 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:58,982 You know, like if something good happens, 265 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,008 I get excited and I need to move, and I just... 266 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,927 I don't know. I don't want to even talk about this anymore. 267 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,848 So that's how you injured your hip? 268 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:10,809 Hey, did you hear? 269 00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:13,687 They're giving us a half day today. We can leave at 2:00. 270 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,648 Great! Thanks, herm. 271 00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,660 Barney, these costumes are ridiculous. 272 00:14:28,744 --> 00:14:32,414 Plus, the Amazon warrior Princess armor gave me a rash. 273 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,584 Cards on the table, you weren't the first lady to wear that in here. 274 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,502 But it conveyed power. 275 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,796 And so will this. What I need you to do now 276 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,923 is break these 15 bricks with your forehead. 277 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,801 What? But you didn't do a damn thing in your video. 278 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:48,055 You just stood near a horse and sat on a motorcycle. 279 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,766 That's because I'm a man. You're a woman. 280 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,851 The assumption is that you can't do anything. 281 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,228 But you have to prove society wrong. 282 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,814 I can't break 15 bricks with my forehead. 283 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,611 Robin, it's not 1950 anymore. Yes, you can. 284 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,572 I'm out of here. What? Why? 285 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,741 None of this is going to help me get a job. 286 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,160 I'm about to get kicked out of the country. 287 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,913 I know what I have to do. 288 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,710 Is this where the lottery girl auditions are? 289 00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,545 Yeah, right here. 290 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,386 Older Ted: So, kids, your aunt Robin had reached her low point. 291 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,139 She was auditioning to be the lottery girl. 292 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,183 And tonight's lotto numbers are... 293 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,311 Hold it. Say the line before you press the button. 294 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,747 It builds the suspense. 295 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,939 It builds the suspense. 296 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,190 Okay. 297 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,319 And tonight's lotto numbers are... 298 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,407 Seventeen... stop her. 299 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:50,617 Hold it. 300 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,452 Why did she say it like that? 301 00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:56,289 It's like she's not even happy about the 17 coming up. 302 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,459 She seems mean. Yeah, she seems super-mean. 303 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,130 Can you take another run at 17 for us? 304 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,423 Seventeen. 305 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,760 Okay, I don't even understand what she's doing. 306 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,555 Let me try something. All right. 307 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,015 Try being a little more wry. 308 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,602 Wry? About the number 17? 309 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,437 Wry, with a little bit of a... 310 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,564 Twinkle. 311 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,065 Twinkle. 312 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,276 Seventeen. 313 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,779 That was great! 314 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,299 Hey, marsh, I got you a light beer. 315 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,493 I know how you dancers are always counting calories. 316 00:16:33,577 --> 00:16:34,619 It's not funny, all right? 317 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,372 The doctor says if it gets any worse, I might need surgery. 318 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,875 Vaginal rejuvenation surgery? 319 00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,836 You know who didn't do a lot of operating on vaginas in cohege? 320 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,171 Who? Dr. X. 321 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,506 He did just fine! You know what? 322 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:51,011 Both of you geniuses need to take that weak-ass crap off your resumes. 323 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:55,849 I mean, you are not Dr. X anymore, and you cannot dunk anymore. 324 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:56,975 Let it go. 325 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,060 So Marshall and I are the only people at this table 326 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,521 with weak-ass crap on their resumes? 327 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,565 What are you implying? 328 00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,901 Oh. Oh, wow. I don't know! 329 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:10,071 Doesthe date July 4th, 1995 mean anything to you? 330 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,948 You son of a bitch. 331 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:22,417 Time! And the new champion, with 29 hot dogs, Lily "the belly" aldrin! 332 00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,218 How is that relevant to teaching kindergarten? 333 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:36,598 It teaches kids that I can eat a lot of hot dogs very quickly. 334 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,433 Yeah, but you can't do it anymore! 335 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,894 You can't dunk anymore, lady-hips! 336 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,896 How dare you! These hips can... 337 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,564 Guys, guys! 338 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,902 I didn't even get the lotto girl gig. 339 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,321 I have to move back to Canada. 340 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,574 I can't believe this. 341 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,079 I remember the night before I moved down here. 342 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,498 They threw a going-away party for me. 343 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,794 They gave me a camera so I could take pictures and send them home. 344 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,757 And everyone was so sure I was gonna be such a big success. 345 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,053 I'm really gonna miss you guys. 346 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,766 What happened? 347 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,102 Robin has to move back to Canada. 348 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,104 Oh, my god. How awful. 349 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,774 I mean, for one thing, it's gonna be a really long commute. 350 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,359 What do you mean? 351 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,361 I finished your video resume on my own, 352 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,738 messenger-ed it to every station in the city. 353 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,950 A guy from channel 8 called. He loved you. 354 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,660 He wanted you to come in and audition. 355 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,786 Oh, my god! 356 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,954 I told him no. 357 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,164 Robin scherbatsky doesn't audition. 358 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,083 He gives you the job or nothing. 359 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,459 So I got the job? 360 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:49,045 No. He cursed me out and hung up. 361 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,965 But then channel 12 called. 362 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,967 They also loved you. 363 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,846 They offered you a job hosting their new morning talk show. 364 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,139 Barney, that's amazing! 365 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,890 I told them to shove it. Dude! 366 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,768 Which only made them want you more. 367 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,979 So, theyjacked up their offer by 10%. 368 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,856 Congratulations, miss scherbatsky. 369 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,442 It looks like you're gonna have to stay. 370 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,825 You're not about to dance, are you? 371 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,910 No, I'm good. I'll do it later. 372 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:26,166 Oh, my god. How did you pull this off? 373 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,126 I am the master of the possimpible. 374 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,588 You really are. Thank you. 375 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,818 Older Ted: So, thanks to your uncle Barney, 376 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,802 we got to keep your aunt Robin. 377 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,722 There's so much stuff in my life 378 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,475 no room for me to grow 379 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,372 older Ted: And the rest of us decided 380 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,939 it was time to let some things go. 381 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,572 Well, except for Lily. 382 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,200 And time! 383 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,410 What's the count? 384 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:04,537 Thirty-three! 385 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,125 Under the waterfall 386 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,046 under the waterfall 387 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,883 it's cool and cold and clear 388 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,198 Why is no one coming to my happenings?