1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,921
Hey, guys. Hey.

2
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,685
It's freezing out there.
Where's your coat?

3
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,842
Ted, I'm Canadian.
I don't need a coat.

4
00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,468
This kind of weather
is nothing for me.

5
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,888
Yeah. This is like a spring
day back in Minnesota,

6
00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:15,516
if it weren't for all the taxis and the
skyscrapers and non-white people.

7
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,119
There aren't any black
people in Minnesota?

8
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:19,187
Not if prince is on tour.

9
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,203
Well, my sister's plane
got in an hour ago,

10
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,996
or as a meteorologist might say,

11
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,373
"hurricane Heather
has just made landfall."

12
00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,417
Come on. She's not that bad.

13
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,544
Here's the back of
Heather's baseball card.

14
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:46,148
It took her six years to graduate
from three different colleges,

15
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:50,009
during which time she wrecked
two cars, got married for five days,

16
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,510
and lived in
a tree for nine weeks,

17
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:54,154
only to realize that no one had
any intention of cutting it down.

18
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,975
And now, Heather says
she's moving to New York.

19
00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,435
Wow, that's big news.

20
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,913
She's never gonna
go through with it.

21
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:03,731
Remember a few years back when
she talked about transferring to nyu?

22
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,192
And then, on the day of
the admissions interview...

23
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:10,154
Heather? Where's
my couch and my TV?

24
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,659
I sold them for nine
inch nails tickets.

25
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,245
The TV alone is worth two grand.

26
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,748
Well, a last-minute
plane ticket is expensive.

27
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:22,833
Wait. Where are you?

28
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,585
Somewhere in Spain.

29
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:28,214
Oh! Gotta go. Slow song.

30
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:35,096
Oh, crap. It's Barney.

31
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,723
Forah the years Heather's
been visiting New York,

32
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,475
Ted's never let Barney meet her.

33
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,810
And I never will.

34
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,562
Every year when the mosby
family Christmas card shows up...

35
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,441
Pulling down her pants

36
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:49,819
yanking off my own

37
00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:53,322
underneath the mistletoe
I 'ii make your sister moan

38
00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:55,491
oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot

39
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,201
we 7! Go all the way...

40
00:01:57,285 --> 00:02:01,622
I wish I could see her naked
I wish I could see her naked

41
00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,791
I wish I could see her naked

42
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,918
and down on all fours

43
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:10,631
Ted has a little sister
gets hotter every day

44
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:13,301
and if! Ever meet her
with her boobies I will play

45
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:16,178
everybody!
Sister, sister, sister, I...

46
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,557
What? I can
celebrate hanukkah, too.

47
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,644
It's him again.
I should probably get it.

48
00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:24,937
Hey, Barney.

49
00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,206
Barne y: Hey. What's
on tap for tonight?

50
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:29,442
Oh, we're heading over to Marshall and
lin's for a Kathy bates movie marathon,

51
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,861
but not misery.
You want to join us?

52
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,571
Oh! He hung up.

53
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:37,408
Hey. Hey.

54
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,454
Hey. Hey. Great to see you.

55
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,665
Hey, kiddo. You look great.
How are things back home?

56
00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:46,792
Well, I moved
into your old room.

57
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,085
Did you know that you can see

58
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,272
straight into Mrs. Gottwald's
bedroom across the street?

59
00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,965
Oh, yes. I am aware of that.

60
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,091
How's she looking?

61
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,468
Ted, she's 62.

62
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,053
Answer the question.

63
00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:58,512
Surprisingly perky.

64
00:02:58,596 --> 00:02:59,597
Mmm.

65
00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,558
Heather: Man,
it is cold out there.

66
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,602
Barn ey: Why, hello.

67
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,023
I've been waiting for you.

68
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,692
Wait a second.
That's not our chair.

69
00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:14,111
Did you bring
that chair yourself?

70
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,364
I needed one that swivels.

71
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,576
Heather mosby.

72
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,704
Barney. Stinson.

73
00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:35,049
How did you even know
Heather was coming into town?

74
00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:37,093
Never tell me anything.

75
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:39,720
You know I can't keep
secrets around Christmas.

76
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:42,056
Robin's giving you an iPod.

77
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:46,727
Ted, can I chat with you
for a sec in the kitchen?

78
00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:49,438
No one touch the chair.
It's a rental.

79
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,234
I can't believe you've been hiding
your sister from me all these years.

80
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,402
Do you blame me?

81
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,861
You're like weird al yankovic

82
00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:59,698
if he only wrote Christmas
songs about banging my sister.

83
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,910
Okay. First of
all, I'm flattered.

84
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,871
Secondly, they're just jokes.

85
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,124
A bro can joke about
another bro's sister.

86
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,518
It doesn't mean I'm
ever gonna act on it.

87
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:12,795
Look, I love my sister,
and as her older brother,

88
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,631
it's my job to protect
her from guys like you.

89
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,841
You don't trust me, do you?

90
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,051
No. And I don't
trust her, either.

91
00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:20,511
Fine. Great.

92
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:24,098
I guess I'll just
take my chair and go.

93
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:31,272
Wait. Stop. Come back.

94
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,419
Lily and I are taking Heather
out for dinner on Sunday.

95
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,610
Do you want to come?

96
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,737
Iakeady called Hurley's
and added a fourth.

97
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,173
You really can't tell
Lily anything. Jeez.

98
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,449
No, you can't tell her a thing.

99
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:45,453
Older Ted: Thatyear, the holidays
were really making aunt Robin miss Canada,

100
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,998
so Marshall brought her to the spot he went
whenever he got homesick for Minnesota.

101
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,791
The walleye saloon.

102
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,168
Evening, everybody.

103
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,669
Marshall! Marshall!

104
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,837
Meet Robin.

105
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,963
Robin! Robin!

106
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,214
Go back to drinking.

107
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,049
Drinking! Drinking!

108
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,719
What's up, Marshall?
Hey, what's up... whoa, bud!

109
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,345
What's with the
hitch in your giddyup?

110
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,265
I was playing some hockey today.
Tore up something in my knee.

111
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,409
Did you go to the hospital?

112
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,269
Nah. I just poured some beer
on it. Can't miss the vikes game.

113
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,230
Twin cities! Oh, yeah!

114
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,526
I love the guys here.
They're real men.

115
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,112
No hair products or manicures.

116
00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,490
All New York guys
are like 10% girl.

117
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,742
Well, come on. That
seems a little unfair.

118
00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:28,204
Iwihave the vichyssoise with
just a soupcon of creme fraiche.

119
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,789
Too much dairy
and I tend to bloat.

120
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,127
So, I found an apartment today.

121
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,462
Yeah. Really?

122
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,172
And I was hoping you'd have

123
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:41,884
a little more wine in you
before I asked you this, but...

124
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,595
I need you to co-sign the lease.

125
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,305
Hmm.

126
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,891
Let me think about it.

127
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,310
That
means he's not going to do it.

128
00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:54,230
I could really use
your help on this.

129
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,190
Let's talk about
this later, okay?

130
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,192
Don't hold your breath.

131
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,029
What is it? You don't trust me?

132
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,531
You're my sister.

133
00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,741
Now he's just stating a fact.

134
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,412
Look, Ted, I am serious
about a career in finance,

135
00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,332
but you just keep looking
at me like I'm a 4-year-old

136
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,125
who says she wants
to be an astronaut.

137
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,603
I just don't think
you have any idea

138
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,462
how tough it is to
make it in New York.

139
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,048
Exactly. You need connections.

140
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,468
If only Ted knew someone
who worked at, say,

141
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,763
Goliath national bank, then...
Wait.

142
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,139
What?

143
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,434
I work at Goliath national bank.

144
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:33,852
How about that?

145
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:36,981
All right.

146
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,526
We got two bemidji pale ales
and, who ordered the mini-burgers?

147
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,236
All right. Me.

148
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,613
Nice.

149
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:48,075
Oh, my god. Is that
fisherman's quest? Mmm-hmm.

150
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,952
I used to play fq all
the time back home!

151
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,079
Oh, yeah? I kind
of have high score.

152
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:57,251
Not to brag, but I caught
a 35-inch northern pike.

153
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,713
The biggest video fish
anyone's ever reeled in.

154
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,506
I mean, freshwater.

155
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,510
A tip of the angler's
cap, my friend.

156
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:09,346
Thank you for bringing me here.

157
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,099
Those are mine.

158
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,227
This is not a good idea.

159
00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,938
Heather and Barney,
alone in his office?

160
00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:20,166
And I certainly don't want to
be on the hook for her lease.

161
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,235
She is growing up.
You just can't seeityet

162
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:27,323
we're talking about a girl who was
busted for shoplifting eight months ago.

163
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:31,035
Ted, a lot of women go
through a shoplifting phase.

164
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:35,539
And sure, maybe to this day, they
swipe the occasional smaller item

165
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:39,835
because it turns them on in a weird
way that they can't quite explain.

166
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:44,506
But, if it'll make you feel better,
I'll tag along to gnb tomorrow.

167
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,508
I'll say I'm having
lunch with Marshall,

168
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,553
but actually, I'll be
spying on her and Barney.

169
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,723
Okay. Okay, I'm good with that.

170
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:56,810
Heather! Heather,
good luck tomorrow at gnb.

171
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,187
I'm sure you'll knock them dead.

172
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,314
And I'll be spying on you guys.

173
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,649
Damn it!

174
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,614
"I'm drinking till I forget the
1999 nfc championship"?

175
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,324
That game.

176
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,077
The vikings were two minutes
away from going to the super bowl,

177
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,372
when our kicker, who hadn't
missed all year, shanked a field goal,

178
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,707
and we lost in overtime. Damn!

179
00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:20,918
'99 nfc championship game?

180
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,336
Yeah. Damn!

181
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:28,217
My dad, who I'd never seen cry
my whole life, wiped away a tear.

182
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,137
He said, "a little part
of me just died, son."

183
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:37,351
Wow. I love how intense you
guys are about your vikings.

184
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,715
It's like when we watch hockey
night in Canada, when we...

185
00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:43,232
What?

186
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:47,903
Don't let anyone in here know
that you're not from Minnesota.

187
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,186
Why? What are they gonna
do if they find out I'm from...

188
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,041
Does this look like a
Dallas bar to you, pal?

189
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,662
It's weird, but there's something
comforting about being carried like this.

190
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:00,541
See you later, buddy!

191
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:01,625
Right?

192
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,503
Man, can you believe that guy?

193
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,131
So, romn, where are you from?

194
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,222
Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota.

195
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,473
Go vikes!

196
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:17,808
All: Yeah!

197
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,038
Older Ted: Kids, for what happened
next, I'm gonna jump ahead a couple days.

198
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,690
Wow! That is a
pretty sweet briefcase.

199
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,899
Hmm.

200
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,318
That's a pretty sweet
security camera, too.

201
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,863
Oh, and there's another one.
And a guard.

202
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,740
I'm planning on
paying for it, Ted.

203
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:35,659
Yeah. Well, you
don't have the job yet.

204
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,494
That door's a push, not a pull.

205
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,580
There you go.

206
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,416
Hey, thanks again for keeping
an eye on her yesterday.

207
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,751
Look, maybe I was wrong.

208
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,562
She sounds like she
handled Barney just fine.

209
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,146
Maybe she'll be able
to handle New York.

210
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,922
No thanks necessary!

211
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,759
Why not? I have a secret.

212
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:55,012
No, I don't. Nothing happened.
Something happened.

213
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,097
What happened? Nothing.

214
00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:00,684
After Heather's interview, I went to
say hi to Marshall for a few minutes,

215
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:03,145
and when I came back...

216
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,439
Oh, my god!

217
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:09,610
Lily, Lily, before you say or do
anything, I beg you one favor.

218
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,029
What? Get off that. It's Prada.

219
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,491
I am so sorry.

220
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,284
I knew it. I knew it all along.

221
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,952
She is still
the same irresponsible

222
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,371
train wreck that she always
was, and when I see Barney...

223
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,915
You won't say a word.

224
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,292
Ted, Heather begged
me not to tell you.

225
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,420
She will hate my guts
if she knows that I blabbed.

226
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:34,176
Oh, I love that briefcase, but I
can't afford it. You were right, Ted.

227
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,428
I certainly was.

228
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,972
See? She didn't
get the briefcase.

229
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,641
That's responsible.

230
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,852
And there's almost no way
she had sex with anyone in there.

231
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,563
Turning over a new leaf.

232
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,153
Evening, everybody!

233
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:56,698
So my dad and I are at the
'99 nfc championship game.

234
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,159
I say evening, everybody.

235
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,286
And when we missed
that field goal andlost_

236
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,830
Damn!

237
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,331
Damn! Damn.

238
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:09,920
My dad, who I had never
seen cry in my entire life,

239
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,173
wiped away a tear and said,

240
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,260
"a little part of
me just died, son."

241
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,053
Son?

242
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:19,930
Oh!

243
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,599
I told it the way I'm
gonna tell my son.

244
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,019
If I'm ever lucky
enough to have a son,

245
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:31,275
and name him Rashad tarkenton.

246
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,362
Robin, great story. Great story!

247
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,866
But it does sound
a little bit familiar.

248
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,577
I know. They totally ate it up.

249
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,704
I see what you're doing here.
What?

250
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:48,542
I brought you here as a favor
because I felt sorry for you, okay?

251
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,086
And now it's like you're
trying to steal my bar.

252
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,256
You think I'm trying
to steal your bar?

253
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,382
Get out.

254
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,759
"Get oot"? What,
are you Canadian?

255
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,052
No, I...

256
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,554
You want to
impersonate a Canadian,

257
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,805
just turn off the lights

258
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,765
and get all scared!

259
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,729
What was that?

260
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,647
Well, with Canada
right across the border,

261
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,734
we minnesotans sometimes like to
make jokes at your guys' expense,

262
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,903
and they're all sort
of along the same theme.

263
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,696
That we're afraid of the dark?

264
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,281
Yeah. For example.

265
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:23,994
Hey, everyone, how many Canadians
does it take to change a light bulb?

266
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:27,414
"What? Oh, no, the light
bulb's out? I'm scared!"

267
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,920
That is insane. Why do you think
that Canadians are afraid of the dark?

268
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,922
Well, where does any
prejudice come from, Robin?

269
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,966
A stereotype starts, then all of
a sudden it spreads like wildfire.

270
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,427
Like asians can't drive,
scotsmen are cheap,

271
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,013
Brazilians always put
on way too much postage.

272
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,349
I just don't think this
is gonna work out, Robin.

273
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:49,019
You can't be hanging out with people
who belittle your beloved homeland,

274
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,562
so I'll walk you out.

275
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,190
No, wait,
I have something to say.

276
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,652
Hey, everybody.

277
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,446
Let me tell you something
about people from Canada.

278
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,009
Hey, Robin, please
don't make a scene.

279
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,407
Shh!

280
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,953
Do you know why Canadians
never get a birthday wish?

281
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,538
Because they're too afraid
to blow out the candles.

282
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,710
Oh, god, I love it here. God.

283
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,173
I think your prospects
at gnb are good.

284
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:20,926
You've certainly made it clear
you're willing to take any position.

285
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,469
Are these new coasters?

286
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,596
Well, I hope you get the job.

287
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,933
Nothing gives me more
pleasure than filling an opening.

288
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,185
I swear to god these
coasters are thicker.

289
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,479
Well, I am willing to
bend over backwards.

290
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,939
Okay, that's it.

291
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,942
I cannot believe you
had sex with my sister.

292
00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,653
You blabbed? Do you know what?

293
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,864
This is a new batch
of the old coasters.

294
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,825
I'm just gonna confirm
that with the bartender.

295
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:47,285
And you, you're mature
and responsible now?

296
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,497
Is it mature and responsible to
go to your first big job interview

297
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,000
in New York City and
nail a total stranger?

298
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,811
You've always been
immature and irresponsible.

299
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,004
You will always be
immature and irresponsible.

300
00:13:57,087 --> 00:14:00,757
And iwouldn't co-sign a library
card for you, let alone a lease.

301
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,175
Barney and I didn't have sex.

302
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,510
Save it. Lily saw you.

303
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:04,928
Or did she?

304
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,016
Barne y: You see, Ted, you had
so little faith in Heather and me...

305
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:12,019
Heather: We decided to give
you exactly what you expected of us.

306
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,271
Barney: And I knew we
could count on Lily to blab.

307
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,605
Oh, my god.

308
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,566
What? Why would you do that?

309
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,942
Because you deserved it.

310
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,445
Ted, you know I'm no Saint.

311
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:25,907
And yes, it's true that time I
drove your mother to the airport...

312
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:29,202
Well, let's just say
there was a very confusing,

313
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,706
sexuahy charged moment
in short-term parking,

314
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:37,294
but I said I would never go
near your sister, and I meant it.

315
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,670
You should have trusted me.

316
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:42,299
You're so convinced I'm still
some out-of-control teenager,

317
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,260
you missed the fact I grew up.

318
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:48,555
I'm gonna find a hotel.
I'll get my things later.

319
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,724
Merry Christmas.

320
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,939
Your mom and I kissed.

321
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,628
Better get a move on. You've got five
seconds to catch two more sturgeon.

322
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,405
Hey, we got
a possible Gill screen.

323
00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:08,325
Forget it. You can't catch
two fish with one hook.

324
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:15,248
No, but I can catch one fish and
use that fish to catch the other one.

325
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,420
High score! You beat Marshall!

326
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:26,134
She's Canadian!
Robin's Canadian!

327
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:28,970
She's Canadian.

328
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:32,682
She's not from bemidji and she doesn't
know a darn thing about the vikings.

329
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,435
You're just mad 'cause
she got high score.

330
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:39,648
Robin, in the '99 nfc
championship game

331
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,608
when the vikings lost... damn!

332
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,068
Oh, damn!

333
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:47,614
Who was the kicker who
missed the field goal?

334
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,706
Rashad tarkenton.

335
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,045
Gary Anderson.

336
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,338
He's now retired.

337
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:06,591
Owns a fly-fishing
business in Canada.

338
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,470
Goodbye, Robin.

339
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,274
No. You know what?

340
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:28,155
I'm glad you found out because
I'm proud to be Canadian.

341
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:32,742
We may not have a
fancy NFL team or prince,

342
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,328
but we invented trivial pursuit.

343
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,080
You're welcome, earth!

344
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:43,628
Plus in Canada, you can go to an
all-nude strip club and order alcohol.

345
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,715
That's right. From moose
jaw to the bay of fundy,

346
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,217
you can suck down
a 20-ounce pilsner

347
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:53,263
while watching some coal miner's
daughter strip down to her pelt.

348
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,598
Jealous?

349
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,852
In Canada, people don't
care where you're from,

350
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,147
as long as you're friendly
and maybe loan them a smoke

351
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,024
or hand over a donut.

352
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:08,069
I'm proud to be from
the great white north.

353
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,572
And I wish
I was there right now.

354
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,619
And we're not
afraid of the dark.

355
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:20,540
I mean, we don't
love it, but who does?

356
00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:33,511
Ted: Merry Christmas.

357
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:35,555
Ted...

358
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,806
Look inside.

359
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,895
You just... if you
push it towards the...

360
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,230
Not down, towards the middle.

361
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,732
Don't need your help. Got it.

362
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,950
You signed the lease.

363
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,826
Yeah. You know why?

364
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,289
Because you trust me
and think it's a great idea?

365
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,750
Because I want
to get to know you.

366
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,794
The new you.

367
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,504
Thanks.

368
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,510
By the way, in your
new neighborhood,

369
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,097
you really should get a good
solid deadbolt for the door.

370
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,016
If you want. To live.

371
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,523
Hey.

372
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,024
Hey. Hey. Hey.

373
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:35,115
I'm so sorry for what happened
back there. I acted like a total jerk.

374
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:36,658
I shouldn't have said anything.

375
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,828
No, look, I'm sorry.
That was your place.

376
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:42,372
I shouldn't have
tried to make it mine.

377
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,875
It's just every year at
the holidays, I get homesick.

378
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,461
And so far, every year
I've had a reason to stay.

379
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:52,132
A boyfriend,
a job, or something.

380
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:56,052
But this year for
the first time, I don't.

381
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,471
Yes, you do.

382
00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,681
What?

383
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,892
We all love you, okay?

384
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,478
If you ever moved
back to Canada,

385
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,273
we would hop on a plane,
we would track you down,

386
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,818
and after Barney dragged us to a few
of those strip clubs you talked about...

387
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:17,115
We would bring you back right
here where you're supposed to be.

388
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,119
It's not New York
without Robin scherbatsky.

389
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,412
Thanks. Yeah.

390
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,000
I just miss it there sometimes.

391
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,835
I wish I could blink
my eyes and be back

392
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,087
in Canada for an hour, you know?

393
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,258
I was hoping you would say that.

394
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:40,847
Once there was this girl who

395
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:44,642
wouldn't go and change with
the girls in the change room

396
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,478
how did you find this place?

397
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,771
Feels like home, right?

398
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,647
There's one way to find out.

399
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,025
Oh!

400
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,252
Well, sorry there.
Didn't see you.

401
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,319
Are you okay?

402
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,402
I'm fine.

403
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,405
Okay, sorry about that.

404
00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,908
Have a donut on the house.

405
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,576
Okay. Thanks

406
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,537
okay, you bumped into him,

407
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,499
and he apologized and gave
you a donut on the house?

408
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,709
Oh, it's just like home.

409
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:15,715
Sorry! It's gonna
be fine! Sorry.

410
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,344
No one likes the dark. Mmm-hmm.

411
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:30,146
Next up, from Ontario,
Marshall Eriksen.

412
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,375
I didn't know you signed
up. What are you gonna sing?

413
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,900
Oh, I think you'll recognize it.

414
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:37,737
That's okay I'm going
to rock your body anyway

415
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,906
I'm going to rock your
body till Canada day

416
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,133
buddy you can
turn off the screen.

417
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,242
We know the lyrics.

418
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,202
Everybody come and play

419
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,121
everybody come and play

420
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,164
throw every last care away

421
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,125
throw every last care away

422
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,627
let's go to the mail today

423
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,088
let's go to the mail today