1 00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:04,839 Lily: Hey, guys, how's it going? Hey. 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,174 I'm just gonna finish this. 3 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,258 You... 4 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:11,196 We just had dinner with Stella's sister and her fiance. 5 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,540 They're getting married before us. 6 00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:14,741 Okay, you know how you've dreamt about your perfect wedding day 7 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,993 ever since you were a little girl? 8 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,476 Yeah. Totally. 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,854 My sister is stealing my dream wedding. 10 00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:23,274 Down to every last detail, on shelter island, atsunset_ 11 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:27,862 Just down the beach from our family's old summer house. 12 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,156 It's my dream wedding. 13 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,449 I'm gonna finish this. 14 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,120 The iamb here is supposed to be great. 15 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,914 I'm a vegan. 16 00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:40,625 I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me 17 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,044 that says eating animals is murder, 18 00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:46,422 but I guess I'm just not as strong as you are. 19 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,799 That's 'cause you need protein. 20 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:51,010 I'll have the lamb. 21 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:57,600 Okay, new goal, I want our wedding to kick her wedding's ass. 22 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,894 I want our wedding to take her wedding's head 23 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,605 and shove it in the toilet and flush it, like, 20 times. 24 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:06,234 Ted, in high school, you were her wedding, weren't you? 25 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,654 You know, she's always trying to one-up me. 26 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,739 I mean, I love her, but there's a little part of me 27 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,142 that kind of wishes this whole thing would just fall apart. 28 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:17,119 I hate him. I hate him. I hate him! 29 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:20,164 God, this steak is so good! Four days to go and he just runs off 30 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,793 with a vitamin consultant from whole foods? I gave up make-up for him. 31 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,586 I gave up showering for him. 32 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,546 I gave up shaving my armpits for him. 33 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,715 Hard to imagine where it all went wrong. 34 00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:31,777 And now it's so close to the wedding... 35 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,112 There's like bacon or something in this dipping sauce. I love it. 36 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,221 I can't get any refunds. 37 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,348 I'm gonna be out thousands of dollars. 38 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,308 Older Ted: Kids, when you're in a relationship, 39 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:42,019 you develop a kind of telepathy with your partner. 40 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:45,398 Stella: What do you think? We could help her out. 41 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:48,484 Ted: No, Stella, we should help her out. 42 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,612 Let's pay for dinner. 43 00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:56,575 Nora, don't worry. We got this. 44 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,244 Stella: That's right. 45 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:01,205 We'll take over your wedding, pay you back for everything you spent. 46 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,708 Ted and I will get married this Sunday. 47 00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,771 Wow! We're getting married this Sunday? 48 00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,857 Are we sure we're ready for this? 49 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,568 Ted, I wasted years trying to get Lucy's dad 50 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,322 to decide he was ready for this, but he never got ready for this. 51 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,365 That's why we never got married. 52 00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,659 Come on, let's just be spontaneous. 53 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:42,455 I used to dream that Tony would be spontaneous like this. 54 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:46,584 Okay, I'm in. And I'm also spontaneous. 55 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,215 I wish I hadn't done that. 56 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,011 Older Ted: Kids, morals usually come at the end of stories, 57 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,722 but this one is so important, I'm gonna tell you now. 58 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,725 Don't ever, ever invite an ex to your wedding. 59 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,354 If someone had given me that advice, well, it would have changed everything. 60 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,689 Come on, you've got to come. It's my wedding. 61 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,649 I can't. I'm in Tokyo. 62 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,070 It's my first week on the job. I can't just take off. 63 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,907 Plus, I'm finally doing serious news. 64 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,035 Older Ted: Robin was doing serious news. 65 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,746 It was the number one English news network in Japan. 66 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,909 Of course, the news is a little different over there. 67 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:34,924 The federal reserve board voted to leave interest rates unchanged. 68 00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:37,593 It's my wedding. You have to be there. 69 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,304 Okay. Okay. I'll be there. I gotta go. 70 00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:43,557 Good evening. 71 00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:48,145 And I'm Robin scherbatsky. 72 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,607 Peace talks were stalled once again in the middle east. 73 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,319 Despite a promising start to the latest negotiations, 74 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,072 talks foundered on security issues. 75 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,574 She's in. Yes. 76 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,743 All right, Ted, your bachelor party, tonight. 77 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:06,080 I have got three of the most physically and morally flexible 78 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,706 exotic dancers you've ever seen... 79 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:08,833 Can't. There's no time. 80 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,018 Okay, I'll let you know how it goes. 81 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,270 Marshall, we should really rent the cars for tomorrow, huh? 82 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,421 Marshall: Sure. 83 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,092 What? 84 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,261 No "don't get married, Ted"? 85 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:23,055 No "you're making a big mistake, Ted"? 86 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:28,561 Barney Stinson, are you no longer committed to the war on marriage? 87 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,730 No, I just know a hopeless cause when I see it. 88 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,899 It's the same reason I don't recycle. 89 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:38,946 Plus, Ted getting married is in my best interest. You see, 90 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:43,033 lately I've been working on a problem of the utmost importance. 91 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,537 I confess I was stumped. 92 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,540 Until one night I decided to tackle it once and for all. 93 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:07,516 Then, at last, I cracked the code. 94 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649 So you're back on Robin. 95 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,109 Hopefully. 96 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:21,155 I mean, this weekend is the best chance ever to hook up with her again. 97 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,323 You'll never pull it off. 98 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,116 There's too many distractions. 99 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,327 The first drunk bridesmaid you see, 100 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:30,039 youwlhave your head under her dress like an old-time photographer. 101 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,416 Lily, don't cheapen this. 102 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:36,462 I don't want to sound all mushy-gushy and romantic, 103 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,965 but this weekend, Robin is the only woman I'm banging. 104 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,861 Older Ted: And so, the day before our wedding, 105 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:46,138 Stella and I made the trip up to shelter island. 106 00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:48,349 With everyone else not far behind. 107 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,267 Zitch dog. Zitch dog. 108 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,106 This isn't exactly where I pictured Ted getting married. 109 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,401 "The namasté yoga and meditation collective." 110 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,405 I don't know about you guys, but nama-stay here any longer than I have to. 111 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,574 All right, sweetie, go check in 112 00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:08,661 with that dirty hippie over there and we'll get some drinks. 113 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:13,958 So, what scotches you got? 114 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,586 Here at the center, we have a very strict no-alcohol policy. 115 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,674 Great, and all the meals are included, right? 116 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,260 Yep, and they're all 100% vegan. 117 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:28,556 No. I need alcohol. 118 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,141 I'm not gonna get Robin with this stuff. 119 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:36,522 Look at this. "Berry blaster brain revitalizer." 120 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,275 My god, some of these drinks could actually make a girl smarter. 121 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,277 What sort of he” has Ted brought us to? 122 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,611 There's no meat. 123 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,154 There's no alcohol. 124 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,198 It gets worse. 125 00:06:46,282 --> 00:06:47,992 I'm 90% sure that guy you were talking with 126 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,578 used to be lead singer of the spin doctors. 127 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:56,250 Hey, guys, Stella and I have a little problem. 128 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,961 All the programs look great. 129 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,922 I mean, it's not our names on the front, but otherwise, really nice. 130 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:04,341 Hey, I talked to Robin. 131 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,678 She's running a little bit late, but she'll be here just under the wire. 132 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,013 You invited Robin? 133 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,472 Yeah, of course. 134 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,141 You never told me that. 135 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,268 I'm not sure how I feel about that. 136 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,396 Can I help? You feel glad. 137 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,065 But you like Robin. 138 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:22,526 Yeah, but she's your ex-girlfriend. 139 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,986 It's weird. It's not weird. 140 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,321 It is weird. 141 00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,564 You don't get what it's like for a bride to see her groom's ex at their wedding. 142 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,367 Robin: Stella. 143 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:35,205 Your new husband used to nail me, like, three times a day. 144 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,294 Having exes around... 145 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:44,214 I don't know, it brings up unresolved things. 146 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,736 How do you know that that spark won't come back with your ex sitting out there? 147 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,180 Come on, we're just friends. Plus, Robin and I already had our backslide, 148 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,766 last Thanksgiving, not even that long ago. 149 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,810 Did you place a large bet against yourself in this argument? 150 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,479 She already got her ticket. 151 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:02,816 Ted, it's important to me. I mean, I would never invite Lucy's dad. 152 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,653 I wouldn't care if you did. Tony's great. Let's invite him, too. 153 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,323 No, Tony is the last person I want at our wedding, okay? 154 00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:13,452 And Robin is a close second. 155 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,414 Robin's probably about to get on the plane. 156 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,917 Plus, she left a really important job for this. 157 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:25,047 Spurred by environmental concerns and high gasoline prices, 158 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:29,593 sales of hybrid vehicles have risen 11% over the previous year. 159 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:32,721 What should I do? I don't know. 160 00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,348 I kind of get the "no exes" thing. 161 00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,559 Why ask a failed romance to come and watch your successful one? 162 00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:40,455 You know, it's like inviting the Seattle mariners to a world series game. 163 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:44,733 It's just weird for everyone. What? No. Robin has to come. 164 00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:46,402 Right. She's like my best friend. 165 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,611 Whoa! 166 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,405 Female friend. My best female friend. 167 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,032 Hey! Whoa! I don't care. Why fake it? 168 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,077 Dude, Robin has to be here. 169 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,328 She shouldn't come. 170 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,496 What are you... 171 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,248 Justice aldrin, tie-breaking vote. 172 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,877 Okay, wouldn't feel right without Robin. 173 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,004 But you don't mess with the bride. 174 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,149 I'm gonna tell her not to come. 175 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,300 No, Ted. It's the right decision, Ted. 176 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,721 This is gonna be, like, the worst phone conversation of all time. 177 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:16,765 Ted, Ted, Ted. Co-best man, I'm on it. 178 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,606 Hello? Robin, where are you? 179 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,984 Just heading to the airport. 180 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,070 Okay, we'll see you soon. Have a great flight. 181 00:09:32,156 --> 00:09:36,535 Bad news. I couldn't reach her. Robin's already on her way. 182 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:45,169 Okay, Robin's on her way. You know what? I'm glad. 183 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,421 Exes should be allowed to come to weddings. 184 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,590 I'll just tell Stella she's got to deal with it. 185 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:53,135 I think you need to be more delicate with Stella about this whole Robin thing. 186 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,470 What do you mean by delicate? 187 00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,389 Bndes are under a lot of stress before a wedding. 188 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,975 I mean, of course, I held it together pretty well. 189 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:03,854 You don't remember? 190 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,400 The rorist just told me the roses are more 191 00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,944 light medium pink than medium pink. 192 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,990 Light medium pink! Everything's ruined. 193 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,161 Our wedding site uses a gravity furnace 194 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,246 instead of forced-air heating. 195 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,457 That's the one thing I cared about. 196 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,834 Why are we even getting married? 197 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:33,050 Blobbity-blah. Wickity-wah. Eeky, eeky, eeky, eeky whee! 198 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,596 After a while, it's all noise. 199 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,809 Poor Stella's had to jam months of crazy into just three days. 200 00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,018 So what do I do? 201 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,814 You wait for the next crisis, you solve it, you're a hero. 202 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:50,108 Then you bring up the Robin thing, but this time she'll say yes. 203 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,860 Yeah, but what if there's no next crisis? 204 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,406 She's a bride. There will be a next crisis. 205 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,828 There's a next crisis. 206 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:02,496 Awesome! What is it? 207 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,833 My daughter, my own daughter isn't coming to our wedding. 208 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,084 What? 209 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,812 Tony's supposed to drive her up tomorrow, 210 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:10,276 but now he's being all petty about me 211 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,005 getting married, and he won't do it. 212 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,925 It's been five years. Why can't we just move on already? 213 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,220 So first thing tomorrow I drive down, talk to him, 214 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,890 get him to let me drive Lucy up, then, boom, crisis solved. 215 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:24,643 Stella's happy. Robin comes to the wedding. 216 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,312 Hey. You Barney? 217 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,564 Yes. 218 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:31,191 Ihear you're a real man whore, so listen up. 219 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,736 Tomorrow night I want to do things so dirty and so depraved 220 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,573 that I forget that this was supposed to be my wedding. 221 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,033 I'm kind of here with someone. 222 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,118 Bring her. 223 00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:44,162 You're never going to make it. 224 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,517 Older Ted: So, the morning of my wedding day, 225 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,878 I made the trip back to Tony's house to get Lucy. 226 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,966 Tony! 227 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,552 Doing a little karate? 228 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,890 Sorry, sorry, man. 229 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,766 You just set off my internal defense alarm. 230 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,352 You got to watch these things. Stay alert, stay alive. 231 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,563 Right. So what brings you here? 232 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,900 I thought you'd be off in some honeymoon suite with my woman right now. 233 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,318 Not yet. Soon. 234 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,986 That's right, tonight's the night. 235 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,281 Yeah! Man, you are going to be sticking it 236 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,241 to the mother of my child. 237 00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:23,493 Actually, I've already stuck it to her plenty of times. 238 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,162 Why do I always have to correct people? 239 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,788 Man, you and Stella. 240 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:30,334 You lucky dog. I could just... 241 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,797 I'm so happy for you guys. 242 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:40,093 Yeah. Hey, listen. Here's the thing. Lucy_. 243 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,137 You can't take her. Tony, stop. 244 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,432 Look, this is a big day for Lucy, too. 245 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,118 You're going to have to put aside your own issues 246 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:50,145 and think about what's best for her here. Whether you like it or not, 247 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:54,483 she really should be at her mother's wedding. So, I'm taking Lucy with me. 248 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,032 You're right, man. You're right. 249 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:06,078 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just, seeing you guys, 250 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,915 it's made me realize everything I had. 251 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:13,627 Hey, hey, hey. Let's stop hugging. 252 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,797 I'm sorry. 253 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,132 It's just, Lucy means the world to me. 254 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,343 And I feel like I'm losing her to this new family, 255 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,803 a family I'm not even a part of. 256 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,471 Come on, sure you are. No, I'm not. 257 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,056 I wasn't eveninvhed to the wedding. 258 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,641 Well, you are now. 259 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,725 Thank you! 260 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,188 Road trip. 261 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,399 Right? 262 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,029 Road trip two, back in the car. 263 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,827 So, today's the day. You hydrating? 264 00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,789 Dear female, thank you for your interest in Barney Stinson. 265 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,000 Your back is going to look like a Jackson pollock. 266 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,004 I regret to inform you that at this time... 267 00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,673 I was a vegan for two years. I need meat. 268 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,552 There are currently no positions available. 269 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:06,471 I'm a yoga instructor. Every position is available. 270 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,767 Your room, 20 minutes. No foreplay. 271 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,896 I'm not going to make it, am I? 272 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,023 Not a chance. 273 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:23,905 Okay, just remember, let me talk to Stella first, okay? 274 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,451 Mommy! Mommy! Ted invited daddy! 275 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,412 Hi, sweetie. I missed you. 276 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,581 Give me just a sec, okay? 277 00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,833 Tony: Hey. Hey, Tony. 278 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:37,419 Hey. You invited Tony? 279 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,795 To our wedding? 280 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,882 Ted, we talked about this. No exes at our wedding. 281 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,300 Why would you do this? 282 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,636 Boy, what did Ted do this time? 283 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,561 Ted, what is Robin doing here? 284 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,482 I thought I made myself clear. No exes at our wedding. 285 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,234 To be fair, your ex is here. 286 00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,569 You invited him! 287 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,112 Come on, it's not weird. 288 00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,530 It is weird. 289 00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,408 It's like things are not finished between you two. 290 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,743 And Tony... 291 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,244 I can't deal with Tony right now. 292 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,139 Can you please go out there and tell him to leave? 293 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,248 You can make me the bad guy. 294 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:19,002 I'll go talk to Robin so she knows it's nothing personal. 295 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,629 Okay. 296 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,715 Older Ted: And, kids, if I had just let Stella talk to Robin, 297 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,717 this whole story might have ended differently. 298 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,552 I understand. 299 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,596 I get it. 300 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,934 Announcer: For the first time, Ted and Stella mosby. 301 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,937 Older Ted: And that's how I met your mother. 302 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,105 Blah, blah, blah. 303 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,107 Is your dad finally done yakking? 304 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,983 Now, come on, who wants ice cream? 305 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,945 Older Ted: But I didn't. 306 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,739 Look, can you talk to Tony? Robin flew all the way here from Tokyo. 307 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,407 I should talk to her. 308 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,493 Sure. 309 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:52,786 Okay. 310 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,333 Hey. 311 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,252 Sorry about running off like that. It's okay. 312 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,087 You would not believe the trip I just had. 313 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,756 I was on a plane for almost a full day. 314 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,883 But it is worth it to see you get married. 315 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,778 How could I not be here... You can't come to the wedding. 316 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,428 Thank god. What? 317 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,847 Ted, it's weird. 318 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,265 It's not weird. 319 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,016 It is weird. Do you know how it feels 320 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,935 to be somebody's ex at their wedding? 321 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,186 Robin. Stella. 322 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,232 Suck it, bitch. Iwin. 323 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,194 We broke up over a year ago. 324 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:28,530 Yeah, but that's not that long ago. 325 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,615 Watching you marry another woman 326 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:33,952 isn't exactly something I was looking forward to. 327 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,663 I don't know, I just thought if I ever changed my mind 328 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,082 about marriage and kids, it was... 329 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,501 It was nice to know that you were there. 330 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,503 So, I was your safety school. How flattering. 331 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,172 That's not it. It's just that... 332 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,923 Why are you bringing any of this up? 333 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,383 There's nothing between us anymore. 334 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:52,512 Well, maybe there is. I mean, of course, there is. 335 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:56,850 That kind of stuffjust doesn't disappear without a trace. 336 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,311 Look, I'm not just another guest here, Ted. 337 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,606 Right. We used to date, but we both moved on. 338 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,107 And, look, we got what we wanted. 339 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,192 I'm getting married. 340 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,068 You got your dream job in Tokyo. 341 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,212 And they all lived happily ever... 342 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,696 I quit my job. 343 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,282 You what? I'm moving back to New York. 344 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:17,913 I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life. 345 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,583 And I think you should go back to yours. 346 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,169 What's that supposed to mean? 347 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,965 Don't get married. 348 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,218 Look, you're rushing into this. 349 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,638 It's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book. 350 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,723 Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know. 351 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:40,060 You stole a blue French horn for me. You tried to make it rain. 352 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,854 I did make it rain. It was a coincidence. 353 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:47,692 But after all that, this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end? 354 00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,070 You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, 355 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:54,574 someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. 356 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,744 That's not the amazing ending that you deserve. 357 00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,330 That's not Ted mosby. 358 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,670 I love Stella. 359 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,924 She's the one. If you really feel that way, 360 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:16,513 I guess it's a good thing you're not coming to the wedding after all. 361 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,315 Big fight? Yeah. 362 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,695 Here, it's on the house. 363 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,030 Just keep them coming. 364 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,159 Oh, god, do not keep them coming. 365 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,749 Hey, Robin. 366 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:48,295 Barney. I am having a horrible day. 367 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:52,007 I snuck some scotch in from the duty-free store. You want to join me? 368 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,718 Yeah, yeah. Let's go to your room. Far away from this room. 369 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,470 And we can knock it back. They didn't get me a room. 370 00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,515 I was actually hoping I could stay with you. 371 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:05,603 No problem. I just have to straighten up little bit. 372 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,897 I've got some clothes on the floor, and... 373 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,483 A naked girl tied to your headboard. 374 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,736 Towels all over the bathroom. It's a mess. 375 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,032 So, anyway, give me 10 minutes to get the place in order... 376 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,658 See you, Barney. 377 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,579 She... 378 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,589 Okay, let's do this. 379 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,467 Who the hell is that? 380 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,053 It's the girl from the front desk. 381 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,224 Man: Lovers, they try 382 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:47,354 they try to whip the stars into compliance 383 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:51,024 older Ted: Kids, sometimes you think you're living out one story, 384 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,860 but the truth turns out to be something else entirely. 385 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:58,031 Man: Don't want to knock the planets out of alignment 386 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,076 at the time, I thought the story was about whether 387 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,620 Robin should be at the wedding. 388 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:08,833 You're gonna wait a long time 389 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,169 wait a long time 390 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,339 if only I'd understood what the real story was. 391 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:23,098 If you're looking for an invitation 392 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,599 having exes around... 393 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,770 I don't know, it brings up unresolved things. 394 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:33,024 You're never gonna get one 395 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:36,228 how do you know that that spark won't come back with your ex sitting out there? 396 00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:41,658 It's like things are not finished between you two. 397 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:48,998 I wasted years trying to get Lucy's dad to decide he was ready for this. 398 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:53,795 Seeing you guys, it's made me realize everything I had. 399 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,382 I used to dream that Tony would be spontaneous like this. 400 00:20:58,341 --> 00:21:03,388 Wait a long time, wait a long time 401 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:08,017 older Ted: Seriously, kids, never invite an ex to your wedding.