1 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,505 This is awesome. 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,041 I can't believe this moment's finally here. 3 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:10,444 One more mile and my little boy turns 200,000. 4 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,614 Your baby Fiero's grown into a really old man Fiero. 5 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:17,151 And just like an old man, he leaks fluid, smells stale, 6 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,252 makes weird noises out the back. 7 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,088 (laughing): Yeah, he does. 8 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,223 Hey, light up those cigars in the glove compartment. 9 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,591 They're real Cubans. 10 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,893 I got 'em in Chinatown last year just for this moment. 11 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,163 Uh, Marshall, I'm not saying you were definitely ripped off, 12 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:32,533 but, um, these are chopsticks wrapped in napkins. 13 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,734 What are you talking about? Whoa, 14 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:34,768 pothole. What? No. 15 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,737 Oh. No. 16 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,172 No, no, n-n-n-no. 17 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,707 No, there's only .8 miles to go. 18 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,808 Come on, buddy. 19 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,143 Buddy! 20 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:45,279 (engine stops running) 21 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,417 Is it cool if I still light these? 22 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,270 TED: Kids, sometimes life forces us 23 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,172 to be someone we didn't want to be. 24 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,241 When that happens, we often try to hold on 25 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,709 to a little piece of who we were. 26 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,845 Maybe a tattoo. 27 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,313 Or a piece of jewelry. 28 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,748 A tiny souvenir that reminds us, 29 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,284 "This is who I really am." 30 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,286 Marshall's souvenir was not so tiny, 31 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,487 but the more he found himself 32 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,322 being pushed toward the corporate world 33 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:31,192 and away from his dream of saving the environment, 34 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,527 the tighter he held on to that Fiero. 35 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,296 Hey. 36 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:36,530 One good thing: we're off the hook 37 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,366 for the folding party today. Hey. 38 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,369 It's very important to both Lily and me 39 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,337 that there be a handmade origami crane 40 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,472 in each of our wedding's... 41 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,839 (laughing) 42 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,242 I couldn't even get through it. Thank God. 43 00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,010 Hey, your car's going to be fine. 44 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,979 This is the best auto shop around. 45 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,614 Look at this certificate. 46 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,818 One of the mechanics here finished a 64-ounce steak. 47 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,188 Surprise. 48 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,989 We felt bad that you guys were missing 49 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,091 the super-fun origami folding party, 50 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,126 so we suggested moving it here. 51 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,828 We insisted. 52 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,963 Terrific. 53 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,031 How's the Fiero? 54 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,766 She's still in triage. 55 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:13,934 She? 56 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,336 I thought it was your little boy. 57 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,937 Oh, it goes back and forth. 58 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,672 It's sort of a tranny car. 59 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:22,443 How long have you had her... slash him? 60 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,246 My brothers handed it down to me when I was 16. 61 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,680 Oh, how nice of them. 62 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,982 Not really. 63 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,184 Congratulations. 64 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,852 The Fiero is yours. 65 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,687 (laughs) 66 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:36,624 If you pass the final test. 67 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,158 Come on! 68 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,327 I already shaved my legs 69 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,895 and swallowed five dollars in quarters. 70 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,864 Only $4.50 has come out. 71 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,600 Just go to the Weinerburger drive-thru 72 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,168 and get us 12 cups of coffee. 73 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,037 That's it? 74 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,038 Oh, yeah. 75 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,906 But we get to decide what you wear. 76 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,643 Agreed. 77 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,178 Totally agreed. 78 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,649 * I would walk 500 miles... * 79 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,351 You're naked. 80 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,186 I'm aware of that. 81 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,089 * ...who'd walk 5,000 miles... * 82 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,624 You have 50 cents? 83 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,562 No... 84 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,497 Look, can I just have my coffee, please? 85 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,899 Sorry, we're all out of trays and lids. 86 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,269 Two tall guys just came through here a few minutes ago 87 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,570 and bought 'em all. 88 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,638 (shudders) 89 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,642 (groaning): Oh. 90 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,181 (both yelling) 91 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,685 (screaming) 92 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,020 (both laughing) 93 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,054 And that is the origin 94 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,124 of Marshall's insane "no food or drinks in the Fiero, 95 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,459 not even groceries" rule. 96 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,761 It is not insane. Barney. 97 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,931 That's like the third one in a row that you've screwed up. 98 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,367 Well, I'm trying, but it's... Look. 99 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,436 You fold twice to the middle, fold back and forth, 100 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,738 pull the ends out, flip over, open the flaps, 101 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,407 fold the edges, crease the front, 102 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,808 fold in half, fold the wings down, 103 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,477 push in the bottom corners, and fold the wings back out. 104 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,314 Or would you like one of my kindergartners to show you? 105 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,181 Wait, wait, wait. 106 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,750 Wait, I think I've got it. 107 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,018 (grumbling) 108 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,886 No. 109 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,822 Forget it; the paper's too expensive. 110 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:15,789 You're out. 111 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,326 Aw, nerts. 112 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,129 The food rule is insane. 113 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,431 We could have died because of it. 114 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,832 Remember the 100K fiasco? 115 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,334 Ah, the Fiero-asco. 116 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,168 Dude, I told you that doesn't work. 117 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,637 It's the 100K fiasco. 118 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,271 What's the 100K fiasco? 119 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,506 The Fiero-asco? 120 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,475 It was just before winter break 121 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,476 our freshman year of college. 122 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:36,577 Marshall and I were roommates, 123 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,811 but we weren't really good friends yet. 124 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,314 I thought Ted was a little bit pretentious. 125 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,850 And Marshall was a total slob. 126 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,052 Hey. 127 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,420 Um... I'm driving 128 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,921 my Fiero back over break. 129 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,691 I know we see enough of each other as it is, 130 00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,427 but, uh, if you want a ride, I could use the gas money. 131 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,462 You live in Ohio, right? 132 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,996 I could swing through and pick you up. 133 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:59,833 All right, first of all, my parents live in Ohio. 134 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,735 I live in the moment. 135 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,203 Plus, 136 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,339 Karen and I haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving. 137 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,874 I mean, we're both really invested 138 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,042 in making this long-distance thing work, so... 139 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,645 All right, well, call me if you change your mind. 140 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,814 My odometer's going to hit 100K. 141 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,383 (laughing): No. 142 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,486 She'd be so bummed if I left early. 143 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,422 It was totally mutual. 144 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,657 I mean, Karen brought it up first, but I... 145 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,359 it was... it was totally mutual. 146 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,960 * When I wake up... * 147 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,829 I hear you. 148 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,431 So what's up with you and Lily? Anything serious? 149 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,433 (scoffing): Yeah. 150 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,667 Dude, we're college freshmen. 151 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,168 I'm not going to get tied down 152 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,770 by the first chick I hook up with. 153 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:41,041 Lily's cool, but this bird you'll never chain, you know? 154 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:44,044 The next few hours of our drive were classic road trip. 155 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,147 * I would walk 500 miles * 156 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,616 * And I would walk... * 157 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,917 * ...Know I'm gonna be * 158 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,285 * I'm gonna be the man who's walking... * 159 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,488 * La-da-la-da-la- da-la-da-da... * 160 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,290 So... this song. 161 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,527 Oh, it's the best song in the world. 162 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,961 It's the only song I like. 163 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,664 Just kidding. 164 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,333 Tape's been stuck in the player for, like, two years. 165 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,735 Better than nothing, though. 166 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,538 Maybe. 167 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,372 * Da-la-da, da-la-da * * Da-la-da, da-la-da * 168 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,007 * Da-la-da * * Da-la-da * 169 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,110 * Da-da-da-da-la- da-la-da-la-da-la! * 170 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,447 (song starts over) 171 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:23,316 I am so... sick... of this song. 172 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,485 * When I wake up... * 173 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,286 Don't worry. It comes around again. 174 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,121 What do you mean? 175 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:32,593 BOTH: * Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles * 176 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:37,665 * And falls down at your door... * 177 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,633 Ooh. 178 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,934 Yeah, we totally nailed the ending. 179 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,336 Yeah, that was probably, like, our best one. 180 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,838 Hey, you want to play Zitch Dog? 181 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,106 What? 182 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,107 Uh, it's a car game. 183 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,108 Every time you see a dog, 184 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,710 you got to be the first one to say, "Zitch dog." 185 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,144 Mm. I'm pretty good, so... 186 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,746 Zitch dog. Uh... 187 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,848 Well, no, I didn't know we had... we'd started, 188 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,450 but, uh, okay, that's cool. 189 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,318 You got the first point. 190 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,953 Zitch dog. Zitch dog. 191 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,989 Damn it! 192 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,123 Are we still playing? 193 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,391 'Cause I wasn't... I wasn't really... 194 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,659 12-nothing. 195 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,895 (whispers): Marshall. 196 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,033 Marshall. 197 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,401 Zitch dog, blue Suburban. 198 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,402 Damn it! 199 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,870 18-nothing. 200 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,608 TED: Then Marshall, who was so busy cheating at Zitch Dog, 201 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,209 got us totally lost. 202 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,511 Where the hell are we?! 203 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,245 MARSHALL: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 204 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,346 Hold on. 205 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,248 I think you skipped something. 206 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,249 Really? 207 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,051 Seems impossible. 208 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,987 Hey, we got some time. 209 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,823 What do you say we get off the highway, 210 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,458 take the road less traveled, you know? 211 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,894 Robert Frost. 212 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,830 Doesn't seem like a smart idea. 213 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,131 Too late. 214 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,266 I'm taking this exit. 215 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,937 Who's not fun enough now, Karen? 216 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,806 MARSHALL: Then we got lost. 217 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,742 Where the hell are we?! 218 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,943 I'm pulling over. 219 00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,745 No, keep driving. We're almost out of gas, 220 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,047 and we might not even be on a road anymore. 221 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,048 It's below zero out. 222 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,350 If we pull over, we could be snowed in for days. 223 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,484 Plus, I only have, like, 224 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,686 six granola bars and three bottles of water. 225 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,521 Nah, I threw them out. What?! 226 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,524 No food or drink in the Fiero. 227 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,827 No food or drink in the F...? 228 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,362 You haven't washed your sheets since orientation! 229 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,966 TED: Thus began the longest night of our lives. 230 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:26,306 Pretty sure that my foot is frozen s-solid. 231 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,809 Marshall... 232 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:29,977 there's a very real chance 233 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,880 that we're gonna be snowed in here for days. 234 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:36,049 If I die first, do whatever you need to survive. 235 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,551 Eat my flesh. 236 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,320 Slice me open like a tauntaun, whatever. 237 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,556 Thanks, Ted. 238 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,025 You're a good friend. 239 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:48,295 And if I die first, you just leave my body alone. 240 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,763 What? 241 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,165 I just said you could cut me open and crawl inside me. 242 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,401 Yeah, don't do any of that stuff to me; it skeeves me out. 243 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,737 But... but you're dead, and I'm gonna die if I don't. 244 00:08:56,804 --> 00:09:00,641 Wasn't an easy decision. 245 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:04,311 This is all because of your insane no-food rule. 246 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,979 It's perfectly rational. 247 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,014 (grunts) 248 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,882 (both grunting) 249 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,084 Hey! 250 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,654 My spectacles! 251 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,527 Hey. 252 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,130 I know we're low on gas, 253 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:26,166 but can we turn on the heat for just a minute? 254 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,638 Okay. 255 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,439 * Da-da-da, da-da-da * 256 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,708 * Da-da-da, da-da-da * 257 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,676 * Undela, undela, undela * 258 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,910 (music stops) 259 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,480 Dude... 260 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,750 I hate to say this... 261 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,820 but it's so cold... 262 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,055 there's only one way 263 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,123 that we're gonna make it through this night. 264 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,065 We should've kept driving. 265 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,099 Come on, Marshall. 266 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,600 No. No. 267 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,670 We might die now. 268 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,538 I may never see Lily again. 269 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,042 I never told anybody this, but... 270 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,379 I've known for a long time that I'm gonna marry that girl. 271 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,083 If we survive this, someday I'm gonna marry her. 272 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,421 I'm sorry about your spectacles. 273 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,423 That's okay. 274 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,358 They were decorative. 275 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,432 Hey, Marshall. 276 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,634 Yeah? 277 00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,137 Are you still thinking about Lily? 278 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,172 Yeah. 279 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,241 Please stop. 280 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,078 TED: And so Marshall and I thought 281 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,547 we were gonna die out there in the middle of nowhere. 282 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,817 But, funny thing... 283 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,059 Hey. 284 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,394 You lovers better just keep on driving. 285 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,863 (barking) 286 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:03,731 (Marshall and Ted screaming) 287 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,132 Zitch dog! 288 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,199 Damn it! 289 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,667 (both screaming) 290 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,704 You said you were gonna marry me that long ago? 291 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,140 That is so sweet. 292 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,743 That trip is when Marshall and I became best friends. 293 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,011 With privileges, from the sound of it. 294 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,380 Eriksen. 295 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,636 Wow. 296 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,672 Looks like he really needs a hug. 297 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,941 Ted. 298 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,083 (clears throat) 299 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,952 He said it would be at least 3,000 bucks 300 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,854 to make it run again. 301 00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,090 And even then, there's no guarantee. 302 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,557 Well, it's a pretty old car. 303 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,725 ROBIN: Yeah. 304 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,460 You can keep prolonging its life, 305 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:10,463 but it's really mostly machine at this point. 306 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,934 I know that it's a lot of money, 307 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,202 but it's my Fiero. 308 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,603 You know? 309 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:21,041 I'm about to graduate and take some sellout corporate law job, 310 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,376 and without that Fiero, I'm just another guy in a suit. 311 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,311 How dare you... 312 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,179 Hey. 313 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,782 I've been through so much in that car. 314 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,650 The suicidal cat. 315 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,152 (cat shrieking) 316 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,787 (loud bang) 317 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,288 Hitchhiking Waldo. 318 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,627 The homeless guy 319 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,029 who broke in through the window 320 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,864 and threw up all over the backseat. 321 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,332 (coughing) Lily, don't. 322 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,300 Be strong. Do not go all "prisoner's dilemma" on me. 323 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,069 The car's on its deathbed, Robin. 324 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,570 I have to clear my conscience. 325 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,572 Guys, what are you talking about? 326 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,706 Okay. 327 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,243 Shortly after we met Robin, 328 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,179 she and I were jonesing for Thai food from this one place. 329 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,014 An hour and a half delivery. 330 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,182 We can't wait that long. 331 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,884 I wish we could take the Fiero, 332 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,854 but Marshall has this insane no-food rule. 333 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,421 But Thai food, Lily. 334 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,323 Pad Yum Mao. 335 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,159 Tom Kai Gah. 336 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,460 Thai See Ran. 337 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,628 Oh! You're just saying random syllables, 338 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,130 and it still sounds delicious. 339 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,498 Okay. 340 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,833 Here's what we'll do. 341 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,601 We'll drive over, pick it up, 342 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,003 have them double-bag it, 343 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,773 very carefully drive it back here with the windows open, 344 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,741 and he'll never know. 345 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,710 Wow, these brakes are really sensitive. 346 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,246 Oh, Marshall is gonna kill me! 347 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,116 This and the difference between "affect" and "effect" 348 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,185 are, like, the only two things he's really serious about. 349 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,987 Lily, it's gonna be fine. 350 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,021 No, it's not. Marshall's gonna freak. 351 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,155 Oh, God, oh, God. 352 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,690 What are we gonna do? Oh, God, oh...! 353 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,392 Shut up! Now, listen to me. 354 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,860 The clock is ticking. 355 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,228 Okay, first thing, we scoop up 356 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,063 all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. 357 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,531 Next, what we need to take care of 358 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,633 are the really messy parts-- the pools that have collected. 359 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,102 We got to soak that soup up. 360 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,837 Last is the smell. We got to cover up 361 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,172 that Tom Kah Gai. You mentioned cigars. 362 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,308 There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been 363 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,376 saving them. Hand me those chopsticks. 364 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,948 Mmm. 365 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,816 Hey, how about some tunes? 366 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,319 * Walk 500 miles * 367 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,820 Oh, great song. 368 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,456 * And I would walk 500 more * 369 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,059 These cigars aren't helping at all. Yeah. 370 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,461 This was a terrible idea. 371 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,762 Mmm. 372 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:26,466 Now it just smells like a homeless guy threw up in here. 373 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,403 The broken windows? 374 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,705 We had to make it look realistic. 375 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,141 Well, why did you break two of them? 376 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,543 Uh, it looked like fun when she did it. 377 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,478 So I wanted to try. 378 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,314 Can't believe this whole time it was you guys. 379 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,716 I've been blaming really tanned dancing leotard guy. 380 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:47,220 Marshall, I'm so sorry, but sharing that secret-- 381 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,589 that's when Robin and I became best friends. 382 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,424 Wow. 383 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,425 What a special car. 384 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,561 So, can I crush it into a little cube yet? 385 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,795 I don't know. 386 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:56,930 I don't know. I don't know. 387 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,798 BARNEY: Come on, Marshall. 388 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,167 This is your Fiero. 389 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,901 You know the right thing to do here. 390 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,604 Wow, Barney, why do you love that car so much? 391 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,940 Love it? 392 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,675 Hold on a second. 393 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,977 Love it? 394 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,179 I hate it! 395 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,881 What? Why? 396 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,249 Why? 397 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,484 Why? 398 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,386 Why?! 399 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,089 Why?! 400 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,290 Let me tell it. 401 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,925 It was last year during the transit strike. 402 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,594 Hey. Hey. 403 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,561 Uh, is Marshall around? 404 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,797 I have a massage in Queens in half an hour. 405 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,065 I need a ride. 406 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,466 Uh, no, he's at the library all day. 407 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,434 Just take the keys. 408 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,703 Uh... hey! 409 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,071 Why don't you drive me? 410 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,539 It'll be like a total road trip. 411 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,840 To Queens? 412 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,977 Yeah, we'll get, we'll get beef jerky, Triscuits. 413 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,846 Uh, actually I have a lot of work to do, so. 414 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,048 Okay. 415 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,050 Well, anyway, I'll cancel. 416 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,284 See you later. Wait! 417 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,222 You know how to drive, right? 418 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,624 What, of course I know how to drive. 419 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,791 I love driving. Mm-hmm. 420 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,627 Hitting the road. 421 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,830 Cruising the lanes. 422 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,032 And braking. 423 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,234 Honking. Love it. 424 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,436 Except for lady drivers. 425 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,939 (chuckling): Don't get me started on lady drivers. 426 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,307 Which pedal's the gas? Trick question. 427 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,408 No, it's not. Yes, it is. 428 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,710 No, it's not. Middle, left, right? 429 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,880 I never learned how to drive! 430 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,549 I grew up in the city. 431 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,051 I never had a chance. 432 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,518 Well, guess what? You're getting your chance. 433 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,087 Because I'm going to teach you. 434 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,456 Barney Stinson, buckle up. 435 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:30,857 (sighs) 436 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,092 (sighs) 437 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,226 This isn't right. 438 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,894 God never meant for us to travel 439 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:35,995 at such breakneck speeds. 440 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,730 Relax. 441 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:38,898 You're doing great. 442 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,734 Ignore the old lady on the rascal; this isn't a race. 443 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,970 D-oh. 444 00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,505 Dude, a dog. 445 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,806 Zitch dogs, this. 446 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,907 Or nothing. Ah. 447 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,209 What do I do? 448 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,577 Tell me what to do, Ted. 449 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:51,644 Step on the brakes. 450 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,346 Sometime in the next 20 minutes. Which? 451 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,347 Which one's the break again? 452 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,216 The left one. Left. Left, oh, man, left. 453 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,350 I'm totally blanking. 454 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,018 Make the Ls with your hands. 455 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,154 Oh, we're not going to make it. 456 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,989 * I will walk 500 miles * (screams) 457 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,291 Why did you just turn on the radio? 458 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,193 I don't know why I turned on the radio! 459 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,760 We're going to die. Tell me what to do, Ted. 460 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:08,761 Relax. You're being crazy. 461 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:09,729 Help me, Ted! 462 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,698 Stop, drop and roll. I'm being serious. Stop... 463 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,934 (overlapping chatter) 464 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,437 Screaming is fun! 465 00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:18,738 (screaming) 466 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,841 (yelling) 467 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,111 (screaming) 468 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,012 (sighs) (laughing) 469 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,080 Oh. 470 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,548 I can't move. 471 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,784 I can't... I can't feel my... 472 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,220 wait. 473 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,688 What? 474 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,826 (sighs) 475 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,328 We're okay. Oh. 476 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,396 We're okay. We're okay. 477 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,398 It's a miracle, Ted! Oh. 478 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,633 Ah. Ah. 479 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,235 Wow. 480 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,537 Sounds like you had some accident in that car. 481 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,140 Actually, he had two accidents if you add the fact that he... 482 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,541 Hummina-hummina-hummina-hummina. 483 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,612 I shouldn't even be here, thanks to that death trap. 484 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,148 But fate... 485 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,883 fate gave me a second chance. 486 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,285 And helped me realize 487 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,754 that our days on this planet are too few to squander. 488 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:11,124 So I decided from that moment on 489 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:15,328 to continue living life to its fullest. 490 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,930 So you made a life-changing decision 491 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,766 to not change your life at all. 492 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,334 True story. 493 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,802 Guys. 494 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,938 This Fiero's meant a lot to all of us. 495 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,707 Friendships were made. 496 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,075 Adventures had. 497 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,211 Horrors faced. 498 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,946 That's why we have to get rid of it. 499 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:34,614 Yes! 500 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,549 What? What? 501 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,618 It's lived a great life and it deserves to die with dignity. 502 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,953 But 200,000... But 503 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,789 that's life. You know? 504 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:45,325 You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. 505 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,793 I'm not helping the environment. 506 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,127 Ted's not a philosopher. 507 00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,061 Lily's not 508 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,197 not a world-famous artist. 509 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,097 Barney's never driven 510 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,732 more than ten miles an hour. 511 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,833 Robin, 512 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,936 I'm sure, has also experienced disappointment in her life. 513 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,104 Maybe? 514 00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,939 And my Fiero's not a Fiero 515 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,474 that went 200,000 miles. 516 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,776 It's okay. 517 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,111 You know? 518 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,314 Those are old dreams. 519 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,449 We'll get a new car 520 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,284 and we'll fill that one up with new memories. 521 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,353 And that'll be the car we had 522 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,754 when we were first married. 523 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,022 When we owned 524 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,424 our first house. 525 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,826 Maybe even the first car our four kids remember. 526 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,994 Oh, that's so sweet. 527 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,864 The first car our two kids remember. 528 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,901 Um, I would like to say good-bye. 529 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,242 (sighs) 530 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,512 (tape ejects) 531 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,282 Oh. 532 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,253 (sighs) 533 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,188 You know what? 534 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,923 This Fiero, it's effected all our lives. 535 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:51,791 Affected. 536 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,292 That's what I said. 537 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,893 Just making sure. 538 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,395 Got us all a lot of places. 539 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,864 I mean maybe it's time we return the favor. 540 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,799 This Fiero should have made it to 200,000. 541 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,933 So, 542 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,235 let's get it out that door. 543 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,936 And we'll push it the last .7 miles. 544 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,071 It'd do 545 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,539 the same for us. 546 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,325 Hey, geniuses. 547 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,659 The back wheels are on blocks. 548 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,328 That car ain't going anywhere. 549 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,064 Close enough! 550 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,966 ALL: Close enough! 551 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,903 And so Marshall said good-bye to his Fiero. 552 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,439 And as the car's final gift to us all, 553 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,808 the money he got for scrap parts paid our bar tab 554 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,376 for the next two nights. 555 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,412 Arrivederci, Fiero! 556 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,947 You were the freaking giving tree of cars. 557 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,582 May you rust in peace. 558 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,251 Rot in hell, devil steed. 559 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:53,520 (bottles clink) 560 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,589 And what better friend is there than that? 561 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,128 Hey, man. Bro. 562 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,496 Have you heard this new song? 563 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:04,764 I just got the cassingle. 564 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,666 Put it in. 565 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:10,202 * I would walk 500 miles... * Oh! 566 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,305 I am never going to get sick of this song. 567 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:15,241 Never, ever, never, never, ever. 568 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,043 Yeah!