1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,738
Kids, I've told you stories
about all the big holidays:

2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,740
Christmas...

3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,209
Halloween...

4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,445
Thanksgiving...

5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:15,316
but one holiday was always
my favorite-- Super Bowl Sunday.

6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:18,186
And there was one Super Bowl
back in 2007

7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,221
that I will never forget.

8
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,255
Marshall, you're on beer detail.

9
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,923
Lily, you're making
the bean dip.

10
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:26,194
Uh, Robin, you're on chips
and pretzels, and Barney,

11
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,396
I'm giving you nothing to do
so you can just focus

12
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,730
on controlling
your gambling problem.

13
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,665
(scoffs):
"Problem."

14
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,000
Oh, poor Superman,

15
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,437
he should really do something
about his flying problem.

16
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,240
It's not a problem if
you're awesome at it.

17
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,375
And I will be going
to Quinn's to pick up

18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,543
the world's greatest food,

19
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,578
the Super Bowl
Hot Wings Platter.

20
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,147
If I were a chicken,

21
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,915
I'd go cannibal
for those bad boys.

22
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,550
Just eat my own
damn wing off.

23
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,519
I don't care.
I'm crazy like that.

24
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,255
Here's the info
for tomorrow night.

25
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,356
What's tomorrow night?

26
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,658
Oh, God, you didn't hear?

27
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,527
Mark died.

28
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,296
Oh...
Oh, my God.

29
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,232
The funeral's tomorrow at 6:00,

30
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,568
and I know it would have meant
a lot to Mark if you came.

31
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,870
You guys were
his favorite customers.

32
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,439
Stay strong.
Oh, wow.

33
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,041
Sorry.
We're so sorry.
Our condolences.

34
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,075
Oh...

35
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,545
Who was Mark?

36
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,712
BARNEY:
No idea.

37
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,048
MARSHALL:
Not a clue.

38
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,651
Well, I guess
we should go, right?

39
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,519
MARSHALL:
Wait...

40
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,855
tomorrow night at 6:00,
that's the Super Bowl.

41
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,358
Okay, I feel terrible,

42
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,260
but the truth is
we didn't know Mike.

43
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,795
Mark.
Mark, and as long
as we send flowers,

44
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,964
I can't think of any reason
we'd have to go.

45
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,832
Get out of here!

46
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,570
I never want to see your
face in this bar again!

47
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,273
This soulless bastard

48
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,341
just told me he can't
come to Mark's funeral

49
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,143
because he wants
to watch the Super Bowl.

50
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,578
Could you believe that?

51
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,315
You guys are coming, right?

52
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,584
Yes...
Wouldn't miss it
for the world.
Oh, yeah.

53
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,000
Okay, here's the plan.

54
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,568
Record the game,
go to the funeral

55
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,804
pay our respects to Matt...
Mark.

56
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,840
Mark, and start watching
only an hour late.

57
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,377
Okay, that's great, but just
to make sure it records,

58
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,545
maybe we should bow our heads

59
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,247
and say a quiet prayer
to the TiVo gods.

60
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,352
Almighty TiVo,

61
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,854
we thank you for all
the gifts you have given us:

62
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,957
the power to freeze
live TV to go take a leak

63
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,359
is nothing short of Godlike.

64
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:42,330
Let's not forget fast-
forwarding through commercials.

65
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,498
It seems greedy to ask
anything more from you,

66
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,300
O magic box,

67
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:50,238
but if you malfunction
and miss the Super Bowl,

68
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,006
we will destroy you in the
alley with baseball bats.

69
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,608
BOTH:
Amen.

70
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,544
We are not fast-forwarding
through the commercials.

71
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,978
Yeah, they're
the best part.

72
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,747
Oh, come on.
Remember last year?

73
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,650
Who wants to watch a monkey
in a coconut bra order a pizza?

74
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,851
(both laughing)

75
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,353
I loved that
commercial.

76
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,620
That's my last bet.

77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,289
Seriously, that's
the last time

78
00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,523
I'm gonna call
you today.

79
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,824
Okay.

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00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,126
Good-bye.

81
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,229
You didn't hang up either!

82
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,797
I know! You hang up!

83
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,267
You hang up!
(laughs)

84
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,569
My bookie. Great guy.

85
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,237
So let me get this
straight.

86
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,239
A funeral is the one
time you don't suit up?

87
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,141
Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Virtually.

88
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,611
Suits are full of joy.

89
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They're the sartorial equivalent
of a baby's smile.

90
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,148
"Sartorial"?

91
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,284
"Of or pertaining

92
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,585
to tailors or their trade."

93
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,287
Suits are for
the living.

94
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,121
That's why when
it's my time to R.I.P.

95
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,991
I'm going out of this world
the same way I came into it--

96
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,426
buck naked. Yeah.

97
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,727
It's gonna be awesome.

98
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,897
Open bar for the guys,
open casket for the ladies.

99
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,400
* What up?! *

100
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,739
(both chuckling)

101
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,589
ALL:
Oh...!

102
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,992
(sadly):
Oh...

103
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,932
Such a waste.

104
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,335
I know.
He was so young.

105
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,636
A hand-stitched, cashmere,

106
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,604
double-breasted
Dolce & Gabbana.

107
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,106
It must be so frightened.

108
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,575
This is going faster
than I thought.

109
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,644
We'll make an appearance
at the bar for the wake,

110
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,912
we'll be watching
the game by 8:00.

111
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,814
And even though
we didn't see any whales,

112
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,249
Mark and I both said

113
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,884
it was the best day
of our lives.

114
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,453
Hmm.
Hmm.

115
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,821
Okay, I'm getting us
another round.

116
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,022
And when I come back,

117
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,125
everyone else is telling
their favorite Mark story.

118
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,496
Oh...

119
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,831
Dibs on the one
Carl just told.

120
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,834
Okay, I have to be
at work exactly

121
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,135
one Super Bowl from now.

122
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,538
Oh, let's face it, we're not
going to get to watch it.

123
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,773
We should just find out
the score.

124
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,908
Oh, thank God!
I'll find out.

125
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:08,809
No, no, no, we can't!

126
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,310
We have to watch
the game together.

127
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,779
It's tradition.

128
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,981
Think of all the great times
we've had watching this game.

129
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,384
Second down, everyone drink.

130
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,487
Ted, it's not a drinking game

131
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,955
if you drink anytime
anything happens.

132
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Are these chicken wings
or angel wings?

133
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God, I love these things.

134
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,362
I love you guys.

135
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,630
This is so great,

136
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,965
all of us watching
the Super Bowl together.

137
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,066
This is special.

138
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,371
We need to do this
every year-- promise me!

139
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,806
Calm down, buddy.

140
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,108
Oh, commercials!

141
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,210
Everyone drink!

142
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,344
(all groan)

143
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:47,214
God, this is such
a great tradition,

144
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,982
all of us watching
the game together.

145
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,551
How did this start?

146
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,720
Hey, Barney,
I bet you 20 bucks

147
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,321
that Casey misses
this field goal.

148
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,523
I don't bet.
Betting's for suckers.

149
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,491
Make it like a dollar
or something, you know.

150
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,192
Who cares? No big deal.

151
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,428
Fine.

152
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,562
(all groan)

153
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,230
See, there you go,
he made it.

154
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,364
You win.

155
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,601
Wait. This is mine,
just like that?

156
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,737
God, that feels good.

157
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,205
No, that feels really... good.

158
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,741
What else can we bet on?

159
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,810
Nothing, it's the halftime show.

160
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,778
Oh, so lame.

161
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,714
Nobody even pays
attention.

162
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,451
I mean, Janet Jackson,
who cares?

163
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,490
(whispering):
God, how cool is Robin?

164
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,791
I can't believe you invited

165
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:31,825
this girl we've only known

166
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,561
for a few months
to our sacred day.

167
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,796
Now she's gonna be
in all the pictures.

168
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,498
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll give you the Seahawks

169
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,766
plus six points for 500 bucks.

170
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,134
Are you crazy? Maybe for $50.

171
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,070
$50?! What fun is $50?!

172
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:46,373
Why don't we just bet air?!
God, Marshall!

173
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,608
Okay, $50.

174
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:48,742
Hey, I'll take
that action.

175
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,310
Seahawks, but make
it four points

176
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,645
and make it a grand.

177
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,081
Hey, these wings, are they
chicken wings or angel wings?

178
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,282
Oh, commercials!

179
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,018
Monkey with a coconut bra.
Hilarious.

180
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,055
Look, we always watch
the Super Bowl together.

181
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,992
So we make a pact
to watch it tomorrow at 6:00

182
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,628
and go the next 18 hours
without finding out who won.

183
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,129
That's impossible.

184
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,498
I'm not gonna lie to you.

185
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:11,431
It's not gonna be easy.

186
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:14,034
That means no TV,
no Internet,

187
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,103
no newspapers, nothing.

188
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,404
Media blackout.

189
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,573
But our tradition lives on.

190
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,074
Who's in?

191
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,676
I'm in.

192
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,011
I'm in.
I'm in.

193
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,113
What the hell, I'm in.
High five!

194
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,515
Dude, we're at a wake.

195
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,918
Sorry. Solemn low five.

196
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,857
As the day began,

197
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,926
none of us had any idea
how hard it would be

198
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,561
to go nine hours
without hearing the outcome

199
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,129
of the Super Bowl.

200
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,431
I decided to work from home
to avoid contamination

201
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,933
by the outside world.

202
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,801
(nervous exclaiming)

203
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,541
Hey, take this
key and swallow it.

204
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,608
What? No.

205
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,876
Come on, Ted, you eat salads.

206
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,277
It'll be out by game time.

207
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,580
Lots more, no.

208
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,214
I'm not messing around,
Theodore.

209
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,617
I've got a lot of money
riding on this game.

210
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,452
If I don't handcuff myself
to this radiator,

211
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,486
I'll check the score.

212
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,454
Please take the key.

213
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,956
Fine.

214
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:09,957
But only because

215
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,625
you didn't think through
a bathroom plan

216
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,193
and I think that's funny.

217
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,700
(groans)

218
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,504
The media blackout
was particularly hard on Robin

219
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,974
because, well,
she was the media.

220
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,543
But unfortunately,
the City won't be fixing

221
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,012
the unusually large
pothole anytime soon,

222
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,548
so buckle up
if you're on the BQE.

223
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,617
It's gonna be a bumpy one.

224
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,686
Like morning commutes
needed to get any harder.

225
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,654
You're right, Kevin.

226
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,322
Well, Robin, what
do you say?

227
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,924
I think it's time
to check in

228
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,292
with Sid for
a sports update.

229
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,293
No!

230
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,630
What?
No.

231
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,999
But it's, uh,
time for Sports.

232
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,601
No, it's not.

233
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,136
It's time for Weather.

234
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,605
We, we just did Weather.

235
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,207
Well, weather's
pretty fickle,

236
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,942
it may have changed.

237
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,543
What's it doing out there, Lou?

238
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,716
Pretty much the same thing
it was two minutes ago.

239
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,619
Back to you, Robin.

240
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,423
Okay, now it's
time for Sports.

241
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,526
No! Let's go
to Traffic Todd

242
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,828
in the Metro News 1
Gridlock Chopper

243
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,163
Robin, it's time
for Sports!

244
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,935
Over to you, Sid.

245
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:31,538
(hesitatingly):
Thank you, Kevin
and Robin.

246
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:34,307
Let's talk about the Super Bowl.

247
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,944
Weeks earlier,
Marshall had promised Lily

248
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,980
he'd come into her kindergarten
class for show-and-tell day.

249
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,015
And he's a little bit
double-jointed...

250
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,283
Ah?

251
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,718
and his favorite
animal

252
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,453
is the Loch Ness monster.

253
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,855
Lily, how many times...?

254
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,823
Nessie is a
gentle creature.

255
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,259
We're trying to stay away
from terms like "Monster."

256
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,861
Well, I think

257
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,730
we can all agree, he
is much more interesting

258
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,498
than Sally's
one-eyed goldfish.

259
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,667
Three weeks in a row?

260
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,934
Come on, Sally.

261
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,638
Okay, well, that's
all the time we have.

262
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,306
Arts and crafts, everybody.

263
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:10,711
Hey.
Hey.

264
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:11,812
I'm Doug.

265
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,815
Oh, hey, I'm Marshall.

266
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:18,551
Are you going to be staying
here for the rest of day?

267
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,520
Yeah, I'm actually trying
to hide out

268
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,090
'cause I don't want to know
who won the Super Bowl.

269
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,958
I know who won.

270
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,728
Oh, um, that's great,
but I really don't want to know,

271
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,730
so if you could just
keep that to yourself.

272
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:33,333
How badly do you
not want to know?

273
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,703
Excuse me?

274
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,570
Ten bucks.

275
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,472
Are you serious?

276
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,809
Just went up to eight.

277
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,977
Unlock me, Ted.

278
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:44,978
I've never gone this long

279
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,179
without calling my bookie.

280
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,815
He worries.

281
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,484
Not until game time.

282
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,619
Where are you going?

283
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,620
Pick up the hot wings.

284
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:54,888
What?

285
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,890
How the hell are you
planning on getting

286
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,326
in and out of a sports bar
without seeing the score?

287
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,460
There's TVs everywhere.

288
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,695
Ah, don't worry.

289
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,096
I got it all planned out.

290
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:03,931
First of all:

291
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,866
I placed duct tape

292
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,100
on a pair of sunglasses

293
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,269
so I can only see
out of two tiny holes.

294
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:13,240
Next, I constructed blinders
out of an old cereal box.

295
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,243
Top it all off: high-tech
noise-reducing headphones

296
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,311
I bought when Marshall and Lily
first got back together

297
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,379
and were doing it a lot.

298
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,950
I call it
the Sensory Deprivator 5000.

299
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,786
Sorry.

300
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,321
(TV newscast playing)

301
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,023
(breathy silence)

302
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,141
(loud):
Hello! Uh, my name
is Ted Mosby.

303
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,477
I'm here to pick up
my hot wings.

304
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,246
In my hand, you'll find
the exact total for the wings

305
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,948
plus a generous tip.

306
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,449
Please take the cash.

307
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,918
Put the wings in my hand

308
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,920
(low, distant):
and I'll be on my way.

309
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,790
Thank you!

310
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,498
And that closes the book
on one heck of a Super Bowl.

311
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,100
Back to you, Kevin and Robin.

312
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,169
La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la...

313
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,639
We'll be right back.

314
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,274
(news theme plays)

315
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,575
And we're clear.

316
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,844
I'm sorry.

317
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,412
Um, Robin, is it just me,

318
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,914
or were you doing something
different there?

319
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,949
I haven't watched
the game yet.

320
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,583
I'm begging you, for
the rest of the newscast

321
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,020
there can't be any references
to who won the Super Bowl.

322
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,888
I mean, change
the teleprompter.

323
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,623
No team names,
nothing specific.

324
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,026
That is crazy.
I can't do that.

325
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,896
(cries):
My friend Mark
passed away this week.

326
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,898
(crying)
Okay, sweetie, okay.

327
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:45,866
Okay, I'm so sorry.

328
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:46,900
Back in five...

329
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,135
four...
Oh, I know.

330
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,270
three...
It's just so hard.

331
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,738
(news theme plays)

332
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,507
(groans)

333
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,128
(sighs)

334
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,398
Ha!

335
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,500
Who's the idiot now?!

336
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,904
You said the Sensory Deprivator
5000 was stupid.

337
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,405
But it totally worked!

338
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,275
I couldn't see or hear anything
happening around.

339
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,443
Right?! Right?!

340
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,446
No...!

341
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,182
Oh!

342
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,416
And if that weren't bad enough,

343
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,518
I was about to have
a horrible realization.

344
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,653
Where's the dipping sauce?

345
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,989
(ominous chord plays)

346
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,125
The team that won,

347
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,860
want to know what
their name rhymes with?

348
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,862
Come on, dude.
You promised you'd stop

349
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,898
if I ate all those crayons.

350
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,165
Why are you doing this?

351
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,668
I'm in love Miss Aldrin.

352
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,572
Well, you can't have
Miss Aldrin, she's mine.

353
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,112
(figure shattering)

354
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,450
Okay, now who did this?

355
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,323
I did.

356
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,157
Does that mean

357
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,858
Marshall gets a time-out?

358
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:22,462
Well, Marshall's
a grown-up, so...

359
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,065
When one of us breaks something,
we get a time-out.

360
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,036
Sorry.

361
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,077
And after the Super Bowl,

362
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,980
the mayor of the losing team's
city had to pay up,

363
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,049
sending the mayor of
the winning team's city

364
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:46,119
15 pounds of a delicacy
his or her city is famous for.

365
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,856
Better fire up whatever type
of grill, steamer or fryer

366
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:54,962
one might use to cook that
delicacy, Winning Team's Mayor.

367
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,629
(fierce whisper):
Hey.

368
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,031
Hey.

369
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,699
I'm not talking to you.

370
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,767
Yes, you are.

371
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,635
You'll do whatever I say.

372
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:03,770
Hold your breath.

373
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,705
I'm not holding
my breath.

374
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:06,906
The winning team was the...

375
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,275
(inhales deeply)

376
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,443
Now here's how this
is going to work:

377
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,580
you're going to take me to
three R-rated movies a week...

378
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,682
And then Uncle Marshall
got an idea.

379
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,251
It was not one he was proud of
in retrospect,

380
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,987
but desperate times...

381
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,825
Oh, no.

382
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,595
Somebody wet their pants.

383
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,596
No, I didn't.

384
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,663
Oh, really?

385
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,764
Who's everyone gonna believe?

386
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,866
I'm a grown-up third-year
law student at Columbia

387
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,335
and you're just
a little pants wetter.

388
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,869
So now I ask you
a question:

389
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,738
You want to be able
to quietly sneak off

390
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,073
to the restroom and dry off

391
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,375
or am I gonna have something
for show and tell today?

392
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,477
Hey, everyone...

393
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,545
Okay, okay.

394
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,713
You win.

395
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,948
I want my money back.

396
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,954
And your pudding snack pack.

397
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,628
Sir, who won
the Super Bowl?

398
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,363
Sorry.
I missed the game.

399
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,697
You missed...?!
How could he miss...?

400
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:05,798
Excuse me!

401
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:06,833
Who won the Super Bowl?!

402
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,768
I... don't really
follow sports.

403
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,337
Oh, my...!

404
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,506
Emmitt Smith!

405
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,042
Oh, thank God.

406
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,244
Yeah, I get that a lot.

407
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,978
You got to tell me,
who won the Super Bowl?

408
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:22,282
The game was last night?

409
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,784
You know, once you win
two or three of those things,

410
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,120
it's kind of like, eh.

411
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,488
But you're Emmitt Smith.

412
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,290
You're a football player,
it's Super Bowl Sunday.

413
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,992
What could possibly be more
important than football?!

414
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,197
Dance, my friend. Dance.

415
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:44,537
No...!

416
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,640
(breathy silence)

417
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,390
(shouts):
Hello! It's me again.

418
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,824
Oh!

419
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,459
I didn't recognize you.

420
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,196
Yeah, you forgot to give me
the dipping sauce!

421
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:14,734
Ah.

422
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:15,835
Yes.

423
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:16,903
This is the one.

424
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,338
It was 4:00,

425
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,108
and so far, all of us
had done the impossible.

426
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,710
But then,
almost simultaneously,

427
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,512
things started to go wrong.

428
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,547
And let's end the day
on a happy note.

429
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,849
There is a new arrival
at the Bronx Zoo.

430
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,751
Trish Sanchez has the story.

431
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,589
(radio newscast plays)

432
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,098
Hey, buddy.
Hey, dude, look out.

433
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,399
(breathy silence)

434
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,769
And in honor of yesterday's
big win...

435
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,905
(stations changing)

436
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:57,344
...let him take over the game
and have a 160-yard...

437
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,548
Hey, buddy, look out.
Dude, watch out!

438
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,452
...the zoo decided to name
the baby panda

439
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,520
after Super Bowl champions...

440
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,456
No...!

441
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,525
No...!

442
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,528
No...!

443
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,375
Yes...!

444
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,747
Awesome. Just in time
for kick-off.

445
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,249
None of you guys found out
the score, right?

446
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,251
Mission accomplished.
No.
Didn't find out.

447
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,486
Great. Let's do it.

448
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,388
I already fast-forwarded
through the four hours

449
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,955
of pre-game coverage.

450
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,357
So we are ready.

451
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,058
Barney,

452
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,294
I can't even look at you.

453
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,895
I don't want any sign
of who won.

454
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,963
Don't worry, I'm not going
to give anything away.

455
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,200
Feel free to start without me.

456
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,002
(door closes)
Ah...!

457
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,069
Stupid!

458
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,338
Stupid! Stupid!

459
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,440
So much money! You
screwed it up, Barney!

460
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,741
You screwed everything up!

461
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,410
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

462
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:05,912
(calm):
Okay, let's watch the game.

463
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,447
Barney, what
the hell was that?

464
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,815
We know who you bet on.

465
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,584
Now you've ruined
the game for everyone.

466
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,485
Yeah.

467
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,287
Thanks a lot,
Barney.

468
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,455
Way to blow it.

469
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,358
Yeah, I didn't know
and now I do know.

470
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,860
There's no point in
even watching the game.

471
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,870
Well, at least the
commercials aren't ruined.

472
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,639
Wings are still good.

473
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,607
Beer still works.

474
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,077
Ah, what the hell.

475
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,447
Let's watch Barney
lose some money.

476
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,450
Hey, so check this out:

477
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,985
I got extorted by
a five-year-old today.

478
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,154
I almost got
fired today.

479
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,689
I met Emmitt Smith today.

480
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,757
Ooh, you go first.

481
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,059
I tried out the Sensory
Deprivator 5000.

482
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,761
Yeah, go ahead,
Barney.

483
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,497
Well, I was frantically
running down the street

484
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,232
trying to find out
the score to the game...

485
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,667
And here's the funny part,

486
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,470
as unforgettable
as that Super Bowl was,

487
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,706
here it is 23 years later
and I don't remember who won...

488
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,874
(cheering)

489
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,809
Hell, I don't even remember
who played.

490
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,978
What I do remember
is that we drank beer,

491
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,981
we ate wings and we watched
the Super Bowl together.

492
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,116
(cheering)

493
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,386
Because sometimes,
even if you know

494
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,820
how something's going to end,

495
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,390
that doesn't mean
you can't enjoy the ride.

496
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,025
We even raised a toast
to good old Mike.

497
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,360
Mark. Matt.

498
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,696
Crap! Why do I keep doing that?

499
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,201
I didn't only
lose the game,

500
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,137
I lost every
single prop bet.

501
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,072
Total penalty yardage,

502
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,008
number of replay-challenges,

503
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,276
coin toss...

504
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,412
What are the odds of losing
the coin toss?

505
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,447
50-50, give or take.

506
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,949
Interceptions, field-goals,

507
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,751
total sacks,

508
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,020
whether or not there'd
be a safety, first...

509
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,256
(breathy silence)