1 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,353 TED: Kids, about eight months 2 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,655 into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement, 3 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,592 there occurred a game-changing emergency. 4 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,427 Van Smoot is available. 5 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,062 Oh, my God! 6 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,630 Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion 7 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,031 right on the Hudson River. 8 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,267 It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding, 9 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,002 but it was never available. 10 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,471 And then, suddenly, it was. 11 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,007 There was a cancellation two months from now. 12 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,110 You want to have our wedding in two months? 13 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,711 No. It's impossible. 14 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,447 It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream! 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,216 No, there's just not enough time. 16 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,617 There's no way... 17 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,819 Oh! Mini-vomit. 18 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,053 Okay, look, look, look. 19 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,688 I know that it's sudden, but check it. 20 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,789 If we don't take this, 21 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,825 guess who's on their way with a deposit check. 22 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,127 Todd and Valerie? 23 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,796 When you're planning a wedding, 24 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,532 there's always one couple with similar taste 25 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,634 that seems to be one step ahead of you. 26 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:10,003 Todd and Valerie were that couple. 27 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,272 We got to make a decision. 28 00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,441 Todd and Valerie are in motion. 29 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,910 Van Smoot! 30 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:20,448 Oh! Kids, color! 31 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,051 Come on, baby. 32 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,686 Come on, come on, come on. 33 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,557 ( all scream ) 34 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,435 Hello, Marshall. 35 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,936 Lily. 36 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,838 Todd. 37 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,440 Valerie. 38 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,277 Stairs. 39 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,447 I can't believe it. 40 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,849 We got Van Smoot House. 41 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,552 It is on. It is on! 42 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455 Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan. 43 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,857 What? You're a wonder. 44 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,693 Wow! You guys are getting married in two months. 45 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,195 How are you going to get everything done? 46 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,562 Division of labor. 47 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,764 Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. 48 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,766 Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist. 49 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,037 Robin had been mad at me since the night 50 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:20,974 I slightly exaggeratedmy not-having-a-girlfriend-ness. 51 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,344 Was it...? It was your girlfriend. 52 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,547 You might want to call her back. 53 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,416 Or, actually, 54 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,518 Robin, why don't you go to the florist? 55 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,385 And, Ted, 56 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,686 I could use your keen 57 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,656 architectural eye on... on the invitations. 58 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,692 Wow. That was really awkward, Lil. 59 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,931 And still. It's still really awkward right now. 60 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,368 Hey, what about me? What's my job? 61 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,902 What do I get to do? 62 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,137 Okay, your job is very simple. 63 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,573 At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone 64 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,075 even remotely related to me. 65 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,344 ( chuckles ) 66 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,413 Lil, you know I can't promise that. 67 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,986 Shh! Shh! 68 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,755 Look how cute she looks. 69 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,690 All tuckered out. 70 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,793 ( whispering ): Hey, babe. 71 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,961 Hey, little one. 72 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,063 Hey, little sparrow. 73 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,532 Crap! Band! We forgot a band! 74 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,835 It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing. 75 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,937 Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it. 76 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,706 I called The 88! 77 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,575 Who? The 88. 78 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,576 They're this awesome band. 79 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,244 They played my law review party. 80 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,345 They were found guilty. 81 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,981 On three counts of rocking. 82 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,349 I saw them two months ago 83 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,550 at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great. 84 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,952 John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin? 85 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,689 Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin, 86 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,858 who died in 1980, got married two months ago. 87 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:48,429 Look, I... I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen. 88 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,031 We... we don't even know if they can play our song. 89 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,401 They're... they're going to have to come over here and audition. 90 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,303 Baby, The 88 don't audition. 91 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,971 They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands. 92 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,007 Well, then... I have to say no. 93 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,911 Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday. 94 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,480 Well... well, are they playing anywhere this weekend? 95 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,016 Let me check their Web site. 96 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,419 What? 97 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,586 Lily, you're being 98 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,688 a wee bit intense about this band thing. 99 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,291 Intense? I have a wedding to plan 100 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,093 in nine weeks for 200 people. 101 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,261 Even if a dinosaur 102 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,230 should poke his head out of my butt 103 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,998 and consume this coffee table, 104 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,200 I need you to roll with it, okay? 105 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,702 Wow. 106 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,103 Guys! 107 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,573 I just tasted an amazing caterer. 108 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,107 We already have a caterer. 109 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,576 Oh, right. You're getting married. 110 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,611 You see what I did there? 111 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,712 Took a... 112 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,449 It looks like The 88 are playing 113 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,652 at a high school prom in New Jersey tomorrow. 114 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,520 A prom? Can... can we go to that? 115 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,755 Yeah, we'll just 116 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,057 call the high school, they'll let us 117 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,124 stand in the back and watch. 118 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,495 Yeah. No, they won't. Why not? 119 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,129 'Cause it turns out we're not in high school. 120 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,998 No sweat, we'll just sneak in. 121 00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,567 We're not sneaking in to a high schoolprom. 122 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,402 Yes, we are. It's the only way. 123 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,302 You're getting on board 124 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,404 with Barney's idea? 125 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,439 Man, you really have snapped. 126 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,441 It's nine weeks till the wedding. 127 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,344 At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything. 128 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,812 Well... No, Barney. 129 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,490 TED: And so Aunt Lily hatched a plan to crash a prom. 130 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,791 I'll go with you. 131 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:24,658 Really? Yeah. 132 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,560 I never got to go to my prom. 133 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,362 We always had field hockey nationals in the spring. 134 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,797 ( coughs ) 135 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:30,864 Lesbian. 136 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,467 The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian." 137 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,335 No, I'm trying to start a thing 138 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,770 where the cough is separate. 139 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,606 Do you think we look young enough 140 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,207 to blend in at a high school? 141 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,675 Please, I'm ageless, 142 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,110 Scherbotsky just needs a good night's sleep, 143 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,613 and you've got "statutory" written all over your body. 144 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,281 Hey, why don't we all go? 145 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,651 I don't know-- more people might be harder to sneak in. 146 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,386 We don't want to mess things up for Lily. 147 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,787 Yeah, you're right. 148 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,423 Besides, Marshall and I have been planning 149 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,391 on having a guy's night out before the wedding. 150 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,026 Why don't we just make it tomorrow night? 151 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,494 Sounds awesome. 152 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,362 We should go out and just get freakin' weird. 153 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,464 Yeah. 154 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,632 'Cause, you know, you be 155 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,734 a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw. 156 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,035 What? ( trilling high-pitched noises ) 157 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,570 BARNEY: Wow. 158 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:10,971 Hey, Thelma, Louise, 159 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,273 y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, ya hear? 160 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,108 Lame! 161 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,945 But seriously, 162 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,147 leave me a message, and we'll meet up later. 163 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,352 All right, what do you think? 164 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,754 Horrible. 165 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,090 You're gonna make such a great dad. 166 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,659 You look so classy and nice. 167 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,494 You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. 168 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,862 Have you seen how the kids 169 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,464 are dressing these days, with the Ashlee 170 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,865 and the Lindsay and the Paris? 171 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,333 They all dress like strippers. 172 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,536 It's go ho or go home. 173 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,737 Well, we have to get in. 174 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,138 I have to see this band, 175 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:47,040 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday, 176 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,709 'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, 177 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,143 and we still don't have... Shh. 178 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,080 Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay? 179 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,081 Right now, you just 180 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,149 have to dress like a whore and that's it. 181 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,951 All right. 182 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,986 That's the spirit. 183 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,221 Now, ladies, slut up! 184 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,791 ( chuckles ) 185 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,494 I never thought this would be a bad thing, 186 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,661 but my wardrobe 187 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,362 just isn't slutty enough. 188 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,066 I didn't know I still had this. 189 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,401 What? 190 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:18,639 The dress I wore to my actual prom. 191 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,780 Dude, you are the hottest girl at this prom, and not like 192 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,482 in a corporate, plastic way. 193 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,452 Like, truly, truly hot. Like a hot soul. 194 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,322 Aw, you look great, too, Scooter. 195 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,824 So big news. 196 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,426 I heard from umpire school. I'm in! 197 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,229 Oh, disco! 198 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,332 I am so happy for you. 199 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,669 You mean happy for us, right, babe? 200 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:52,472 Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday. 201 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,874 No, baby. 202 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,677 We're gonna be an umpire someday. 203 00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,046 Cheese. Cheese. 204 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,380 Nice. 205 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,615 You ladies look good, 206 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,316 but your outfits are missing just one thing. 207 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,285 No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go. 208 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,486 I'm not showing anymore... 209 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,990 Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers. 210 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,825 Aw. Sweet. 211 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,226 Thank you. 212 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,595 ( chuckles ) 213 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,364 Oh, Robin, are you tearing up? 214 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,799 No. 215 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,234 I've never been to prom before, okay? 216 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,970 We got to go. 217 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,972 See ya. TED: Bye, have fun. 218 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,406 See you. 219 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,375 Oh. 220 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,578 They grow up into skanks so fast, don't they, Ted? 221 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,713 So, what, we ready for tonight? 222 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,648 Yeah. Just one thing we got to do first. 223 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,283 Shot of Jim Beam? Yeah. 224 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,985 Yes! And then I promised Lily 225 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,887 that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations. 226 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,422 What?! I'm sorry, dude, 227 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,991 but you saw how stressed out she is. 228 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,593 Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. 229 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,727 Take a break. 230 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:47,961 Once you're married, 231 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,931 if we go out and you get so drunk you throw up, 232 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:54,034 it'll be sad, but if we do it tonight... it'll be less sad. 233 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,803 Okay, it'll be cool-- I'll tell you what. 234 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,237 we'll make a game out of it. 235 00:08:57,304 --> 00:09:00,373 First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize. 236 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,209 Do I look like I'm four? 237 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,277 All right, what kind of prize are we talking? 238 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,050 Wow, a lot more security than when we were kids. 239 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:10,884 Is this gonna work? 240 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,120 Yeah. Look, when I was 17, 241 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,422 I used to sneak into clubs all the time. 242 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,924 It's all about confidence. 243 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,491 Follow me. 244 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,428 Whee-hoo! Happy prom, everybody. 245 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,363 Going to prom-- whee-hoo! 246 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,332 Uh, you're adults. 247 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,434 Okay, bye. 248 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,704 Okay, look, I just need to see the band. 249 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,139 I'm getting married in two months, and... 250 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,041 ( chuckling ): And you're just finding a band? 251 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,276 ( grunts ) Hey, ho, hey! 252 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,145 I'm sorry, ma'am. 253 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,848 You either need to be a student or the date of a student. 254 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,617 ( sighs ) 255 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,485 Wow. "Ma'am?" 256 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,655 Check and mate. It's cool. 257 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,389 Time to activate plan B. 258 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,625 Scherbotsky, how comfortable are you with a crossbow? 259 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,593 Scherbotsky? 260 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,763 Hey, guys. 261 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,831 Do you want to take two hot girls to prom? 262 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,101 We don't have that kind of money. 263 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,335 For free. 264 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,871 Oh, hell yeah! 265 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,406 Great. I'm Robin, this is my friend Lily. 266 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,574 Hi. Shall we? 267 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,643 Sure. 268 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,344 I knew it would happen. 269 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,612 This is the dream. 270 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,115 Oh, hey, wait. How's Barney getting in? 271 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,350 Don't worry about me. I'll get in. 272 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,721 Oh... I'll get in. 273 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,831 ( upbeat rock music playing ) 274 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,906 We're in! 275 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,407 Thank you. We're going to take a break. 276 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,942 Oh, you're kidding me. 277 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,412 Hey, uh, you ladies want something to take the edge off? 278 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,649 Yeah, what the hell? It's prom. 279 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,854 ( coughs ) 280 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,823 That tastes like cough syrup. 281 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,758 Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. 282 00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,993 Um, our fake IDs say we're only 20. 283 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,829 We didn't realize it till after we bought them. 284 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,164 Nerds who aren't good at math? 285 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,200 Life's going to be rough, boys. 286 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:10,704 Hi. 287 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,072 Excuse me. I was wondering 288 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,307 if you guys could play "Good Feeling" 289 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,675 by the Violent Femmes. 290 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,878 I know it's probably not in your repertoire, 291 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,479 but I'm getting married and my fiancé 292 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,081 wants to hire you guys as the band, 293 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,817 but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play 294 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,085 "Good Feeling" because that's our song, 295 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,054 and what kind of wedding band would you be 296 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,789 if you couldn't play our song, right? Right? 297 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,590 Look, I'm kinda wasted right now, 298 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,760 so I didn't understand any of that. 299 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,995 But, uh, if you get us the sheet music, 300 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,229 we'll play your song. 301 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,000 So, you buzzing, baby? 302 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,435 My phlegm feels looser. 303 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:56,784 This is pathetic. 304 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,018 It's guys' night. 305 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,754 We should be out in a bar getting in fights. 306 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,356 If I got in a fight, would you have my back? 307 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,925 You know it. 308 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,761 I'd have your back, too. 309 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,630 That's cool. 310 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,099 ( laughs ) 311 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,934 What, you don't think you'd need my help? 312 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,003 You don't know what I can do. 313 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,206 I'm like... like a berserker. 314 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,607 Okay, Ted. 315 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,909 Hello. 316 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,176 Hey, it's Robin. 317 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,212 Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music 318 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:29,216 for "Good Feeling" and bring it out here, like, now. 319 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,283 Hang on. 320 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,118 It's Robin. 321 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,485 She wants me to go to prom. 322 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,855 Can Ted come? 323 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,890 Wait! Don't ask! That's so lame! 324 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,026 I don't even want to go anyway. 325 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,760 Uh, I don't know. 326 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,762 Things have been so weird between us. 327 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,464 What'd she say? What'd she say? 328 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,567 He lied and told me he broke up with his girlfriend 329 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,569 to try to hook up with me. 330 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,371 I mean, I know he apologized for it 331 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,274 but it's just, it's not easy to forgive. 332 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,144 Look, if you absolutely must bring Ted, it's, it's not like 333 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,813 I'm going to claw my own eyes out if he comes. 334 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,749 Okay, bye. 335 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,517 She totally wants you to come. 336 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,158 All right, sheet music's on the way. 337 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,127 Are you okay? 338 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,464 There's just so much to do for this wedding. 339 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,032 My head is swirling. 340 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:22,002 It's just all moving too fast. 341 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,971 How is it moving too fast? 342 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,672 We've been together for two years. 343 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,376 I just... I just don't want everything in my life 344 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,344 to be decided already. 345 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,312 What's decided? 346 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,414 I go to umpire school, you go to college. 347 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,683 We move into my dad's house in Staten Island. 348 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,685 We have kids, we grow old together. 349 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,721 What's decided? It's wide open! 350 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:48,361 Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us. 351 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:52,933 You're, you're breaking up with me? 352 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,002 There's still so much I want to do. 353 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,805 I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, 354 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:02,109 maybe have a lesbian relationship. 355 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,411 Plus, I think I was just dating you 356 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,014 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain. 357 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,415 I can't believe this. 358 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:12,619 I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain. 359 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,754 Please, just don't leave me. 360 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,123 I'm nothing without you, baby. 361 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,625 Please don't put that kind of pressure on me! 362 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,193 It's too much! 363 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,196 It's just one dance, God! 364 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,364 What? 365 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,066 Well, we did promise them one dance. 366 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,501 Yeah, sure, okay. 367 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,876 * Say what you say, made up my... * 368 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,612 So Andrew, what's your big plan? 369 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,382 What's life going to be like after tonight? 370 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,284 Well, you know I got it all worked out. 371 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,286 Uh, leave this place in my dust, 372 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,621 four awesome years at college, 373 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,090 and then I'll move to Prague 374 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,992 or start my own video game company or something. 375 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,360 No, you won't. 376 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,095 I won't? 377 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,697 No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to. 378 00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,333 You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college 379 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,969 and you'll give up your independence 380 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,203 and you'll never live abroad 381 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,105 and you'll wind up old before your time 382 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:08,175 wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?" 383 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,544 Whoa. You really think I'll get a girlfriend? 384 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,248 So, uh, what's the deal here? 385 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,017 Am I getting lucky tonight? 386 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:22,522 Oh, Sean, look, um, you're a nice guy, 387 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,656 but I just don't... 388 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,259 ( vomits ) 389 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,129 No, you're not getting lucky tonight. 390 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,281 BARNEY: Okay, just be cool. Don't look at me. 391 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,717 Okay. 392 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,918 How'd you get in here? 393 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,787 What's it to you, giant turtle? 394 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:58,158 It's me, Barney. 395 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,193 Oh, hey. Where's Lily? 396 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,428 She's in the bathroom. 397 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,230 Wait here, I should go talk to the band. 398 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,797 All right. How did you guys get in here? 399 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:05,932 We just snuck in the back. 400 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,734 You just snu... Are you serious? 401 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,137 Mm-hmm. I've been trying to get in here all night. 402 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,005 I finally paid a janitor200 bucks 403 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,841 to let me borrow this mascot costume. 404 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,377 But you got in. ( sighs ) 405 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,746 Slow and steady won the race. 406 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,683 Hey, bro, 407 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,851 have you seen my fiancée Lily? 408 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,054 Your fiancée? 409 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,156 Whoa, tonight she's with me, bro. 410 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,657 Unless you're looking for trouble. 411 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:31,691 Listen, little buddy, 412 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,959 I understand it's prom 413 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,394 and the adrenaline's pumping, but... 414 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,129 No, not tonight. I've waited too long for this. 415 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,897 I finally got a girl and I'm not going 416 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,499 to let you take her away from me. 417 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,834 Whoa, whoa. 418 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,036 Look, let's not get carried away. 419 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,804 Yah! Nunchaku! 420 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,905 Oh! 421 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,108 ( yells ) 422 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,177 I can't believe I unloaded like that 423 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,878 on a high school senior. 424 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,580 I can't believe a high school senior 425 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,082 unloaded like that on me. 426 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:58,951 I'm going to ask you something 427 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,753 and, um, maybe it's crazy 428 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,456 'cause you guys are the cutest couple ever. 429 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,526 But, um, are you having second thoughts? 430 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,263 Yeah. 431 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,067 But not about Marshall. About me. 432 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,468 I just keep thinking 433 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,438 about the girl I was ten years ago 434 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,274 and wondering what happened to her. 435 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,343 I don't want to be tied down. 436 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,614 I want to live in France and Spain and Italy 437 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,650 and just soak up life and put it on a canvas, 438 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,718 even if it means 439 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,221 being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, 440 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,388 I don't care. 441 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:36,889 I'm going to be a painter. 442 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,026 And I can't do any of that with a, with a boyfriend 443 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,362 shackled around my neck, you know? 444 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,932 But anyway, I'm blabbering. 445 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,601 Way to make new friends, Lily. 446 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,404 I'm sorry. What was your name again? 447 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,505 Marshall. 448 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,842 Nice to meet you, Marshall. 449 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,677 Guess we're hallmates. 450 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,711 Yeah. 451 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,449 ( "Good Feeling" playing ) 452 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,184 It works. 453 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,453 Violent Femmes. I love this song. 454 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,854 Me, too. 455 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,524 * Won't you stay with me just a little longer? * 456 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,893 I didn't have any of the experiences 457 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,795 I set out to. 458 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:21,334 The travel, the bohemian art life, my big lesbian experience. 459 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,970 I didn't do any of it. 460 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:28,341 Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world. 461 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,542 I mean, isn't that worth 462 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,111 all the other experiences combined? 463 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,315 Yeah. 464 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,151 And look, you can still travel, I mean, you can still paint. 465 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,221 And as far as your lesbian experience... 466 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:45,692 Happy? 467 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,794 Yeah. 468 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,162 So field hockey, huh? 469 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,630 Shut up. 470 00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,034 Trespassing, assaulting a minor. 471 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,470 This mascot costume you stole 472 00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,571 cost $5,000. 473 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,907 We can have you guys arrested, you know that? 474 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,543 Oh, come on-- you're the one who let in a kid with nunchakus. 475 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,011 You call yourself security guards? 476 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,413 I was just defending my boy here. 477 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,780 I totally could have taken that kid. 478 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,316 Uh, yeah, and I totally had your back, so... 479 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,184 Well, I don't need it, but thanks. 480 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,785 Uh, yeah, you did, and you're welcome. 481 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,087 No, the kid was totally, like, a white belt and I'm gigantic. 482 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,856 Listen, guys, I'm sorry. 483 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,259 Please, I just need to get in there for one more song. 484 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,393 Absolutely not. 485 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,464 You guys will thank me for this later, okay? 486 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,368 Listen, Don, Ray, can't we all...? 487 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,270 ( yelling ) Hey! 488 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,407 You know, for a turtle, he's surprisingly quick. 489 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,414 This one goes out to that redhead girl and that tall guy. 490 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:50,022 * Good feeling, won't you stay with me * 491 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,860 * Just a little longer? * 492 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,330 * It always seems like you're leaving * 493 00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:04,871 * When I need you here just a little longer * 494 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,273 ( Robin chuckles ) 495 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,074 So how was your first prom? 496 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,976 You tell me. 497 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,177 I hated my dress, 498 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,145 my date got wasted and puked on me, 499 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,747 there was a huge fight 500 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,583 and I kissed a girl. 501 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,519 So, basically, it was a prom. 502 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,855 Okay, I've missed you. 503 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,658 Not in a we're-going- to-make-out way, 504 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,761 not even in an I-forgive-you way. 505 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:32,465 Just in a I've- missed-you way. 506 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,335 I'll take what I can get. 507 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,037 BARNEY: And that, my friends, 508 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,473 is why you don't get your money's worth 509 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,575 when you wear jeans to a strip club. 510 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,882 So you got to admit, The 88 are rocking our song. 511 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,251 Yeah, it's good. 512 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:55,755 Band? Check. 513 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,123 Two months, baby. 514 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,925 Two months. 515 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:02,028 Two months.